I think I hit bottom

mamax5
mamax5 Posts: 414 Member
in Motivation and Support
Well, I had a horrible/good experience Wen night. I went out of town with the hubby to visit the in-laws and they took the kids overnight. We got to stay in the jacuzzi room. I have never been in one of those and having to be naked in the light kind of started some of this. A part of me just wanted to run and hide. Being naked in front of my hubby makes me feel a little too vulnerable because of the fat. I mean he NEVER makes me feel bad about it. Never makes fun of me. I am the one that feels attractive. I have been struggling to eat right so I can lose all this unsightly weight! Well, I have avoided mirrors that showed my whole body for years...and even if I did see it I could not "see it". Well, I had a good look at my body in the mirror and I was just extremely upset. I was not just upset I was sobbing. I had let myself be blinded at what was there. The gross overhanging stomach...the dimply fat on my inner thighs...I just had a rude awakening. I look disgustingly...and while this isn't exactly about looking good, it's more about being comfortable in my own skin. Which I am not. I want to feel better naked instead of feeling so gross. Then it just began to sink in how sugar made this happen. That addiction that just compelled me to eat it...not just obvious sugar, I'm talking the breads, and pastas the soda pop, the overeating of all of these things. And lets not leave out the fast food. I have made a decision not to drink anything but water till I lose the weight. I do not need drink calories and sugar in any way. I want this gross apron off of me and I never want to see it again. I have an appointment at the gym this morning and even though I am tired from traveling I am keeping it!This cycle of getting on the weight loss bandwagon and falling has got to stop!!! Is this what hitting bottom feels like?

Replies

  • Sweet_Pandora
    Sweet_Pandora Posts: 459 Member
    I believe you are on the right track!

    You ranted about it, you owned it and now you are taking action. That is the biggest part of a lifestyle change.

    All the best.

    Karen
  • cai1961
    cai1961 Posts: 59 Member
    You can do this, and when you feel like you want to stop just think about the way you felt n that hotel room!! It's not going to be easy but you have friends on this site.
    Just by keeping track of your food and really looking at the nutrition labels you can eliminate a lot of the sugar. Just the other day I was about to put some BBQ sauce on my chicken there was 16 grams of sugar in 2 TBS!!!
    There are groups to join, find the ones that will help you the most!! Now stop reading and go for a walk, you deserve this!!!

    Good Luck,
    Carol
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    Glad you came to this realization. All the best, stick to this. even when you have bad days, do any small thing you can to get back on your feet the next day. every bit of effort helps to grow willpower.:flowerforyou:
  • mudonthetires856
    mudonthetires856 Posts: 79 Member
    I know this sounds very odd, but congratulations on finding yourself disgusting.
    Everyone has their own moments of "what have I done to myself?" and the strong ones like us will fight it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. These moments are the ones that keep us going. You will hit plateaus, you will gain a pound or 2 at some point in the process, you will feel like giving up at times, but this time...you won't give up. Hitting the bottom means that you have a point in your life that you can look back on and realize that you were strong enough to make the changes your body needs. The entire journey is frustrating and inspiring and terrifying and joyous all at the same time. At the end, not only will you lose the weight, but you will have also conquered the emotions and thoughts that held you back from making the change before. Congrats to a new & improved life!
  • mamax5
    mamax5 Posts: 414 Member
    I know this sounds very odd, but congratulations on finding yourself disgusting.
    Everyone has their own moments of "what have I done to myself?" and the strong ones like us will fight it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. These moments are the ones that keep us going. You will hit plateaus, you will gain a pound or 2 at some point in the process, you will feel like giving up at times, but this time...you won't give up. Hitting the bottom means that you have a point in your life that you can look back on and realize that you were strong enough to make the changes your body needs. The entire journey is frustrating and inspiring and terrifying and joyous all at the same time. At the end, not only will you lose the weight, but you will have also conquered the emotions and thoughts that held you back from making the change before. Congrats to a new & improved life!

    I think only in this community a person can say something like that and get this in reply...Thanks!
    I actually have no desire to eat sugar...I might get cravings, but the desire is different. I really think that this time I can do it. No more falling off the wagon...well, if I do, I will get right back on. I really believe that if you need to lose weight, there are certain foods people should avoid. I am going to try a low carbish way of eating. No sugar, no pasta, no white or wheat flour. Anyone else eat this way?
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    The fact that you got to the point of seeing yourself in a way that you feel makes you completely unattractive to yourself instead of running away from what you look like means you have finally got to the point where all you can go is up. It is a good thing. That weekend alone in the jacuzzi is what you needed in more ways than one.

    I applaud you for trying to change your life to get happy for yourself instead of others.

    Cutting out the sugary drinks will help a lot. Its a small step down a long road that will take you in the right direction. I cut out soda 8 yrs ago because carbonation always upset my stomach and made me bloated. I only drank diet soda= zero calories but by cutting out diet soda alone I lost 10 lbs in 3 months. I dont miss it whatsoever. I immediately felt better once i cut out the soda. I only drink water, tea, coffee, and an occasional orange juice or apple juice.
  • rissadiane
    rissadiane Posts: 355 Member
    Short and sweet.. Once you hit bottom, the only place to go is back up! Good luck.
  • climbamnt
    climbamnt Posts: 190 Member
    You can do this!
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    Again as from all congratulations! In my thought pattern now, there is no bandwagon. There is nothing to fall off of. There is no failure anymore. There are bad choices and I made some yesterday, but that doesn not last past the one meal. There are no more eating what I want and starting over on Monday's because there is no diet. It is a journey to move forward to a healthy lifestyle. Every good or bad choice is a learning experience along the way. I realize I need to learn to live a healthy life or I will not be living any life.
  • Morningstar93
    Morningstar93 Posts: 161
    I think almost every person who started overweight on here had that mirror or photo moment that really made it kick in. I did, and 40lbs later I never thought I could have done it! but it made me a better stronger person, i am so glad of that moment because I made it happen and shocked myself. I think you can too! the little steps will help, I never drink soda drinks anymore, they are gone and out of my life and I never want them back. that is a good step to make.
    You can do this! I still have that picture that changed my life, and you realise you have to accept the bad moments in order to make the good ones. and if you stick to this journey with full commitment, you will and you will look in the mirror and smile. :flowerforyou:

    Good luck!
  • graceire
    graceire Posts: 323 Member
    I have only been here for a few weeks, and have only been actively trying to lose weight for a couple of months. I have felt like giving up so many times. Those of us here who have to lose weight, particularly those who have to lose a lot (I have to lose 100lbs total), know how hard it can be emotionally as well as physically.

    One of the things that I've done differently this time (don't a lot of us have a 'this time,' and a 'when I tried before'?) is that I actually look at myself in the mirror. No more hiding from myself by looking away from the damage that I did to myself. I want to look away, I find myself disgusting, but I've made it part of my process, part of my acceptance of myself. I think you did the same thing in that hotel room, and it sounds like you now have the conviction to do this.

    And hold onto that husband of yours, he sounds like a keeper! He also sounds like he would be a great partner/advocate on your weigh-loss journey. Don't forget that those that love us best are our best cheerleaders!
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member
    Again as from all congratulations! In my thought pattern now, there is no bandwagon. There is nothing to fall off of. There is no failure anymore. There are bad choices and I made some yesterday, but that doesn not last past the one meal. There are no more eating what I want and starting over on Monday's because there is no diet. It is a journey to move forward to a healthy lifestyle. Every good or bad choice is a learning experience along the way. I realize I need to learn to live a healthy life or I will not be living any life.

    This ^

    also, that hating your body thing never worked out for me. Believe me, I have been to the point you were at and even far worse. I find that as a motivation dissatisfaction with yourself can only carry you so far. If you get to a point where you start to feel a little better about yourself, if your motivation is based on loathing your body, feeling good becomes the "bad" thing that sits in the way of your progress, and that's not what you want at all. I congratulate you on taking the step to make a decision to start getting fit and healthy. I hope you can also find positive motivation as well, perhaps by focusing on what you're working toward and absolutely celebrating every bit of progress along the way no matter how far you are from your goal.

    I like this quote not just for life but in terms of fitness goals, although I doubt that's what he was talking about....

    "Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant."
    --Robert Louis Stevenson
  • ScullyKel
    ScullyKel Posts: 69
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: We have all been there and it's a great sign that you are mentally ready for a change. There is support here if you need/want it and lots of other people who have had the same experiences and feelings. You are not alone and you can make positive change in your life. Hang in there and feel free to add me as a friend if you are looking for support or just an audience to vent to :wink:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I know this sounds very odd, but congratulations on finding yourself disgusting.
    Everyone has their own moments of "what have I done to myself?" and the strong ones like us will fight it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. These moments are the ones that keep us going. You will hit plateaus, you will gain a pound or 2 at some point in the process, you will feel like giving up at times, but this time...you won't give up. Hitting the bottom means that you have a point in your life that you can look back on and realize that you were strong enough to make the changes your body needs. The entire journey is frustrating and inspiring and terrifying and joyous all at the same time. At the end, not only will you lose the weight, but you will have also conquered the emotions and thoughts that held you back from making the change before. Congrats to a new & improved life!

    I think only in this community a person can say something like that and get this in reply...Thanks!
    I actually have no desire to eat sugar...I might get cravings, but the desire is different. I really think that this time I can do it. No more falling off the wagon...well, if I do, I will get right back on. I really believe that if you need to lose weight, there are certain foods people should avoid. I am going to try a low carbish way of eating. No sugar, no pasta, no white or wheat flour. Anyone else eat this way?

    I actually didn't change my diet extremely but just ate a lot less of everything, and chose healthier options in places where I could. Going cold turkey on the sugar did some extreme things to me, like migraines.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    Cutting out the sugary drinks will help a lot.


    I lost 20 pounds without effort once by cutting out sodas. A friend of mine lost 80 pounds by making this change only.
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member

    Cutting out the sugary drinks will help a lot.


    I lost 20 pounds without effort once by cutting out sodas. A friend of mine lost 80 pounds by making this change only.

    I hear people say this alot but I never had any success with cutting out one particular food/drink item or food group. The single most powerful change I made was working out regularly. I did this without even dieting for a while and lost my first 15 pounds.
  • mamax5
    mamax5 Posts: 414 Member
    I actually have a headache right now, but I know how I am and if I let myself taste a candy bar...or whatever, I will fall and I don't want to fall. I know some people can wean off sugar, I'm not one of them. I am ready! I went to the gym and my trainer was expecting me to be a little more "woo-hoo lets DO this" I'm not that kind of person lol...I am motivated! Jordan, the trainer, said something about giving motivation and I told him I was my motivation. And I don't think he really heard that. But, we, are our own motivation. Yeah, we need outside pushes sometimes to get going...but ultimately we are our own motivation. All I have to do is really look in a mirror and I have all the motivation I need. I hope I never lose this feeling and never forget how I feel in that hotel room. My hubby is awesome. I used to think how he would say something was cruel, but I just wasn't ready to hear it. I am glad he won't say anything about my body, he's my hubby and I need to get used to the fact he does think I'm beautiful and I just need to get past it. He will never say anything to make me feel bad. Even the way he tells me an outfit looks bad is nice. It's just a look in his eye that says...um, no, that is not flattering...we've been married for almost 11 years now and maybe this will be the year he'll have a hot wife lol!
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member
    My hubby is awesome. I used to think how he would say something was cruel, but I just wasn't ready to hear it. I am glad he won't say anything about my body, he's my hubby and I need to get used to the fact he does think I'm beautiful and I just need to get past it. He will never say anything to make me feel bad. Even the way he tells me an outfit looks bad is nice. It's just a look in his eye that says...um, no, that is not flattering...we've been married for almost 11 years now and maybe this will be the year he'll have a hot wife lol!

    Aww that's so sweet! Glad you have someone who is so good to you!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    Cutting out the sugary drinks will help a lot.


    I lost 20 pounds without effort once by cutting out sodas. A friend of mine lost 80 pounds by making this change only.

    I hear people say this alot but I never had any success with cutting out one particular food/drink item or food group. The single most powerful change I made was working out regularly. I did this without even dieting for a while and lost my first 15 pounds.

    I suspect you have to be drinking a lot of it, for the change to have such a noticeable effect. :smile:
  • Angie52732
    Angie52732 Posts: 66 Member
    Congratulations! I can relate on oh so many levels. Didn't have big mirrors - could just see shoulders up and avoided mirrors anywhere else at all costs. Not comfortable in my own skin - not naked in the light (and I have been married 28 years) and so on and so on.... I am trying to eat the way you do. I can avoid the white rice, potatoes, white bread, white pasta but I still struggle with the sweets. When I am on track, I am so on track but then I have a slip up, but I jump right back on the journey.

    Feel free to add me. I have another 65-70 lbs to go and am determined to get there. My husband has been so supportive this time - he sees how committed I am and my 18 year old son will literally take something out of my hand :) .

    Good luck in the rest of your journey~

    Angie
  • Bridget0927
    Bridget0927 Posts: 438 Member
    :flowerforyou: *** Virtual Hug***
    Soo happy for you, even tho it was a hard realization its a good thing.

    And now that you are determined only good things to come :-)

    I think all of us could use this sometimes even when we are near our goals, its good to get a hearty slap in the face once in a while

    Here for support if you need it :-)

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