My first binge in 6 months :(

kajaknowers
kajaknowers Posts: 113 Member
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
Yesterday was a BAD day....for the first time in 6 months I had an uncontrollable desire to binge and consumed 2600 cals in that day....worst of all, I felt horrid even whilst eating yet I carried on....as soon as I finished i literally just started crying and marched upstairs to the toilet and tried to make myself sick (i used to be bulimic many years ago)....However, 15 minutes later I realised what I was doing was stupid so I stopped, put on some clothes and decided I needed a walk....3 hrs later I returned with my sense back intact....i burned some of it off but still ate about 700 cals more than I usually would (about maintenance weight). The walk did me good and i think I needed to get stuff out of my system. My biggest concern was that I am an obsessive compulsive and that if I ate badly one day like yesterday, I would just give in like I usually do in the past. However, this morning I weighed myself to see the damage and had only gained 0.2lbs which is fine so I walked to the market bought myself more healthy lovely fruit and feel like I have survived probably the toughest day in my diet ever....this is because i realised yesterday when I was binging that I didn't even enjoy the food so I doubt I will want to do it again EVER....especially when I am perfectly full after my 1200cals a day now.....I just need to burn an extra 700cals this week to take out the misery that was yesterday but that works out at an extra 100cals a day which is nothing.

Sorry for boreing you but I needed to accept what I had done and MFP is a good way to do it

x

Replies

  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
    Well done for getting back on track and not letting one day spoil all your hard work and well done on your huge weight loss 54lbs is amazing :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • Melanie1967
    Melanie1967 Posts: 238 Member
    Must be in the air! I did the samething yesterday! Not as high in calorie intake, but I ATE REAL FOOD that I had been craving. I have been so strict on myself since I started here that I felt the same as you, that I was gonna cry. I am a BW3 person! Love their hot wings, and about everything else they have, deep fried of course! I use to eat the whole dozen wings, but I stopped myself at 5 yesterday, 1 cheese stick and a couple cheese covered wedges. Of course, I don't know the real calorie intake because it isn't listed on their menu, but someone else had entered it in the data base so I used their numbers. Even then, I felt so bad! I have worked to hard at loosing this time! But I am right back on track today, and plan on staying that way! I got on the scale this morning also, and I am up 2lbs from Thursday's weigh in, but I think alot of that is TOM showing up on Friday! Even then, not going to let it get me down, had my wing fix, and back on my way to a HEALTHIER ME!
  • happy_jax
    happy_jax Posts: 289 Member
    Sorry to hear you had a bad day :cry:

    But big congratulations to you for not letting this get you off track - or bringing back your past demons! You realised your mistake straight away and set about on a great solution!

    It's almost a good thing that you had this episode....it shows you how strong you have become that you can have something like this happen and pick yourself back up again so quickly! You've lost an incredible amount of weight so you clearly have the motivation and stamina to see it through to the end, even if there are a few off days along the way! Cheers! (Water of course!) :drinker: Well done to you!
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
    Hey!

    We all have those bad days when you don't think you can carry on with losing weight and deiting. But the most important thing is to get back on track after we have a day like that! Good for you for boucing back like that. And for next time just remember how you felt when you did it that helps me when I have a bad binge day. And remeber we all have bad days and this is just a learning curve for the better you.

    Good Luck! (((((((HUGS))))))))))
  • mpos
    mpos Posts: 55
    It is wonderful to hear that you took accountability for yourself with what happened yesterday. You dealt with it expediently and you are motivated to stay on track. You are such an inspiration! I am grateful to you for your story. We all have to deal with cravings and binges from time to time :)
  • absie107
    absie107 Posts: 290
    It's okay. The binge has already happened. Today and every day after are new days. Forgive yourself but do not forget, and just keep reminding yourself of why you want to lose weight. It's more about being healthy and screwing what everyone else may think than anything. I've been realizing that now. Though I'm still 25 pounds or so from my 'goal weight'... I think my real goal is to feel confident about myself 100% of the time, even through occasional binges. Everybody has them. Goodness, a week ago yesterday I forgot to log into MFP the 4 giant brownies and some cookies I ate, but I still lost weight in the week after. You're strong and you can do this - next time the food is calling you, remember why you aren't eating the fried-high fructose corn syrupy-lardy stuff. It's been engineered to lure you in. You're better than that, you're obviously very strong for staved off bingeing for 6 MONTHS. Just remember, food is about taste but it's also about quality and fuel and making sure your body, your temple, is running on the best stuff possible.

    :-) It's all okay. You dealt with this really well. 600 calories? Pff. You'll torch that away so fast.
  • spob
    spob Posts: 206
    Nicely said!:drinker:
  • KLCole
    KLCole Posts: 22
    I am sorry that you had a bad day, but great job on bouncing back. I am constantly reminded that weight management is a process and that there are going to be good and bad days.

    Good luck! You are an inspiration!

    Karen
  • bree5291
    bree5291 Posts: 50
    i feel for you..definitely have that embedded in what i thought was my past, but haven't been able to stop for days. congratulations on recognizing that you DON'T need to do that to be happy and it doesn't solve anything.
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
    Keep your chin up! It says a lot that you would come on here and be honest about it with yourself and others. We are here for ya!
  • heathercrist1
    heathercrist1 Posts: 806 Member
    First and foremost let me applaud you for not hiding away and continuing the binge for days, weeks, or even months more! You were able to stop it (which I know is so very hard to do!). Second let me say that the way you've dealt with your binge is fantastic and you should feel very proud of yourself! After I would binge, all I'd do is sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself....at least you went out and moved your body! Lastly, I'd like you to learn from this binge and figure out what exactly it was that triggered it and then kept it going. I looked at your profile and it says you are in school. I too was at my worst with binging when I was 3/4's of the way through with college. It was the most stressful time of my life and all I felt like I had to comfort me was a large cheese pizza and a couple (yes I said a couple!) tubs of ice cream! I've come a long way since then, but I still have my days where fatigue or stress will spur a binge. I also noticed when I deprive myself for a long period of time and not give myself a cheat meal or cheat day that I will have a "mini-binge" (just an unhealthy, unplanned meal. not necessarily an all out binge).

    We are only human and not perfect by any means. We do the best we can with what we have and every day is a new day! Get back on the wagon and learn from that moment. This is a subject close to my heart and I know how strong the disease can be. For you to stand right back up and brush yourself off is a win in itself! Way to go! Keep pushing forward and you will reach your goals!
  • kspeach
    kspeach Posts: 179 Member
    It's over, it's done, it's soooo yesterday. :)

    Sometimes we have to make a mistake (sometimes a few times) in order to LEARN. And as long as we LEARN from our mistakes, then we are moving forward!

    I have a (little) OCD tendency, but we can use that to our advantage sometimes. :) The exercise, the sticking to 1200 calories (or whatever your goal is), or other things. I have to work at that, but when it works, it works great! My OCD tends to manifest in "if I can't do it PERFECT, I'm not going to do it at ALL". So I'm conquering that too.....

    One day is NOT going to ruin months of hard work, and what you learned is more valuable perhaps! :)

    Have a great weekend!
  • erinliz
    erinliz Posts: 43 Member
    Good for you for not letting it ruin your whole week or month! You jumped right back on. You should be so proud! If every day was easy, everyone would be healthy! How you reacted to a bad day shows your true strength! Great job! :flowerforyou:
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
    As a fellow survivor of ED, let me give you a standing ovation for your quick action in stopping the purge! I know how very difficult that is.

    The binge may seem negative. But it led you to finding strength and walking (litteraly) away from your negative past. That makes the whole package positive. You just proved to yourself that you are in control. Good for you!

    For someone who used to be bulimic, this is a HUGE success! I am so proud of your quickness to regain control.

    Don't focus on the binge. Focus on your ability to aknowlege that you do have control and can make positive decisions for yourself.

    I see this as a good thing. Everybody has a binge here and there. But for someone who is bulimic, the binge isn't the problem, its the purge. Your ability to stop takes so much more strength than anyone can possibly imagine. Congratulations on being you! And thank you for sharing!
  • MommyofLily
    MommyofLily Posts: 149 Member
    Keep your chin up! You are so inspirational to me! One little blurp is not big deal. I have been messing up daily lately. I am just so stressed out that I can't focus on eating right and getting enough activity in... I'm barely getting some walking in most days and lucky if I make it to a couple yoga classes a week. Keep up what you're doing! You look fantastic! :)
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    Can I ask you a question? How long have you been on 1200 calories a day? It may be time to up your calorie intake...usually a binge is your body's way of signaling you for help. It is definitely not healthy for someone to stay on 1200 calories a day for 6 months...just saying...you may want to reevaluate your calorie intake if you've been losing weight and have changed your exercise regimen.

    :))
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