fiance lashing out?

fwilson1031
fwilson1031 Posts: 88
edited January 19 in Motivation and Support
Wonder if anyone could provide some insight for me... My fiance has been acting unusual the past week or so. Last week he was out for 14 hours before stumbling in at 445AM... when I called him out on it, he didn't have much to say just that he was with the boys talking football.... I was pissed and we had a rough week b/c of it. By the time yesterday rolled around we were both feeling better and getting ready for a night out. Again, we ened up fighting at the end of the night because he decided a conversation with a random girl was more important than even acknowledging me when I walked up to him. I have never thought he would cheat on me, I've always trusted him, but with the recent change in his attitude and actions I can't help but wonder now. Do you think it could have anything to do with the fact that I am changing? I look different now and feel better about myself and the way I look, so do you think he could be resentful? I don't know what is going on... just wondering if anyone has any thoughts. And thanks for letting me vent, nobody to call at 1am to *****!

Oh and we have an almost 3 year old son, so he has some family obligations too.

Replies

  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    He's totally sleeping around.
  • Jen800
    Jen800 Posts: 548 Member
    Only you will know for sure if he's cheating. While the information sounds extremely fishy, it could just be you being over paranoid. The fact that he was talking to the woman in front of you was very rude, but perhaps not a sure sign he's cheating. I read a thread on this site about people having a gut feeling and just knowing when their partners are cheating, perhaps check it out.


    If he is cheating: I'm so sorry for you. Just remember that anyone who betrays you like that is not worth being with or having your child around.

    I would suggest biding your time, and studying his behavior a bit further. showing him you suspect him may make him even more secretive. If he starts accusing you of cheating on him out of the blue, that's usually a good indicator that something is up.
  • brittanysmith513
    brittanysmith513 Posts: 44 Member
    I've been married for almost three years, together for over 6 years with my husband. He was actually unusual, hiding his phone and acting really defensive when i texted him from work "hey i miss you. what are you doing?" (like i always did!). There were so many signs and I ignored them for three months!!! Bc I trusted him sooo much. But finally I did some snooping. He was cheating. He cried, etc etc I forgave him, but now we are divorcing bc I found out he's been cheating again. Do some snooping, if for nothing else, then to settle your mind and your heart. It definitely sounds like infidelity. Best of luck, hon. Hopefully, it's not.
  • FaerieCae
    FaerieCae Posts: 437 Member
    Ok, well if my husband was out that long and didnt have a good reason id be suspicious too, I wouldnt be happy if I didnt get acknowledged when I walked up to him talking to another chick, but to be perfectly honest, I dont know if yours is cheating!

    My friend and I have both noticed that our hubbys attitudes have changed since we started working out and noticing changes, feeling confident and sexy. Hers has gotten insecure, thinking shes going to leace him. Mines a bit more secure in himself, but has instead gotten a bit depressed..

    So, I guess I would say, expect some reaction from a partner, but dont let yourself be taken for a ride. If he isnt treating you right, try to tell him calmly and then just leave him to think about it. Dont engage in a fight (not that im one to talk when it comes to fights, but if hes hurting me I try to let him know as calmly as I can) ...

    Sorry I know its not much help, but I understand your confusion!
    Edited to make a sentence make more sense
  • JeneticTraining
    JeneticTraining Posts: 663 Member
    I'm not sure what his problem is..
    Communicate with him. Approach in a gentle manner.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Trust this from an Old Playa...If You want it, you WILL put a ring on it! Basically, when a "man" feels like he has the RIGHT person for him to MARRY, he will ask; if NOT he keeps looking because he's NOT committed or should I say committed until someone he feels is better comes along.

    Go with your "gut", only someone who is "not" committed or a total "dusch" dis-respects their woman in public. Go with the gut instincts, also if family was a biggie for him he would have wrapped up the deal BEFORE the baby saw day light!
  • silversociety
    silversociety Posts: 222 Member
    What does he look like? Is he trying to show that he's still attractive in an odd-about-way with the girl he was talking to? Did he used to stay out with his friends till 4:45 am in the past semi often? Has your look changed drastically? Has his? Are you fighting more than usual as of late? Still having lots of sex? Et cetera, et cetera...
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Trust this from an Old Playa...If You want it, you WILL put a ring on it! Basically, when a "man" feels like he has the RIGHT person for him to MARRY, he will ask; if NOT he keeps looking because he's NOT committed or should I say committed until someone he feels is better comes along.

    Go with your "gut", only someone who is "not" committed or a total "dusch" dis-respects their woman in public. Go with the gut instincts, also if family was a biggie for him he would have wrapped up the deal BEFORE the baby saw day light!

    Sounds legit.
  • Tenzuya
    Tenzuya Posts: 64
    It may have nothing to do with you changing, going by what you have said he is just immature, never send a boy to do a mans job.
  • Tenzuya
    Tenzuya Posts: 64
    He's totally sleeping around.

    This may be true aswell.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I also say there is nothing wrong with snooping. You don't trust it but he is giving you reasons not to trust him by acting shady. That's also how I found out with my ex. He was acting shady, always ha his phone on him Nd would trip if I would even touch his phone. My current boyfriend leaves his phone unattended all the time. He has nothing to hide and will honestly tell me when I ask him what he is doing an not act all defensive.

    Really try and find out if he is cheating, if he is, would it really matter why? Even if it is because you're changing for the better. Still not a valid reason. Especially you being the mother of his son.
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