how to cope with family and friends

minithiny · March 2013

Hi!
I have been on myfitnesspal for about a week now, but obviously been dieting for much longer.
I've tried many different kinds of dieting and now I have decided for myself that counting calories is the easiest way to eat whatever I like and still have some kind of control.

Now my boyfriend and sister are kind of worried about me and that annoys me so much!
Whenever we eat they make fun of how i weigh each noodle and how I am making a journal of it, so now I try and hide it from them.

My boyfriend says that I should stop, because I have sort of become too caught up with counting all my calories and in fact it takes a lot of my time, I am always scared (oh my god this sounds weird!!) that I have left out some calories so I make sure I write down more than I have actually eaten to be on the safe side and even though I eat 1500kcal a day, whenever I get upto 1000 I feel really guilty and want to stop eating. (But then you should eat at least 1200 to keep your metabolism fit, right?)

So I was wondering, is it normal to be so over controlling?
And how do you deal with your family and friends? Do they even disapprove?

Big Thank you in advance!!!

mackemom · March 2013

I go through this with my husband. My advice is just keep going. And ignore anyone/thing that is trying to veer you off your path. Just smile, say ok, and keep doing what you're doing and maybe not talk about it anymore.

I'm FINALLY learning this lesson. And, also, most of us don't eat a huge variety of foods, so eventually logging your food gets really quick. Best of luck to you! Don't feel guilty or 'wrong' in trying to better your body and, ultimately, your life.

BunkyBumBum · March 2013

I lost 75 pounds by weighing everything I ate. Heck, I have lines in some of my bowls showing me where my cereal has to come to in order to be one serving. As long as you're tracking and making sure you're eating enough for your body and not starving (if you're hungry and you're over your calories, have an apple, it won't kill you and I guarantee it won't hurt your body as much as going to bed starving), who cares? Let them say what they want and in 6 months they can eat their words when they see how your "obsessive weighing" produced results.

I count M & Ms.

And "About 7 chips" in a serving is rarely accurate, I weigh chips because some of the guidelines "7 chips" or whatever, are so far off. Sometimes it's more like 4 chips, sometimes it's more like 10. The only way to know for sure is to go by weight.

Edit to add: Also, now that I'm 15 pounds from goal my weight loss was stalled. I was doing 1360 calories/day as recommended by MFP and getting nowhere, three weeks ago I started using the TDEE method described in these forums and I upped my calories to 1600 and I started losing again. I have to lose the few pounds I gained before it'll start coming off my ticker, but so far so good. Do not starve yourself, minimal calories is not always the way to go, sometimes you need to shake it up.

susanjean62 · March 2013

Tracking is so important,especially in the beginning of your weight loss journey. Hopefully,when you get closer to goal,you will be able to judge amounts by practice. Here is a little tip from WW: 1 cup = fist ,1 oz of meat or cheese=thumb(tip to base) 1 Tbsp=thumb tip(tip to first joint) 1 tsp=fingertip(tip to first joint) 1-2 oz of nuts or pretzels=cupped hand, 3 oz of meat,fish,poultry=palm,. I think we all probably get a little obsessed when we are dieting,but you almost have to,in order to stick with it. Our non dieting friends and family don't get it,so don't worry about it. Don't become so over the top,that you are miserable. This is your journey,and we are here to support you. The only reason for concern,is that you aren't starving yourself to get thin. Or,you are already thin,and want to get thinner. Other than that,feel good about yourself!

wllwsmmr · March 2013

Hey! I understand where you're coming from! Yes it is hard when they don't understand that weighing food is vital in tracking calories! BUT I wouldn't say that your family's concerns are unwarranted, I have suffered from anorexia and bulimia (and still fighting it) and binge eating (my current struggle), and the below quoted from you is worrying:

I am always scared (oh my god this sounds weird!!) that I have left out some calories so I make sure I write down more than I have actually eaten to be on the safe side and even though I eat 1500kcal a day, whenever I get upto 1000 I feel really guilty and want to stop eating.

To be honest this is pretty unhealthy. You shouldn't be feeling guilty for eating. You shouldn't be overestimating when you are ALREADY weighing your foods which is as precise as you can get. I am not saying to be slipshod about it but there is a point where it comes to be an obsession which is not a very healthy mentality and hence leading to your family being worried.

Coyoteldy · March 2013

as you use my fitness pal you will relax being so obsessive.. when I started I marked down every ounce.. now I am comfortable knowing approximately what things count as.. and I stay within 1200-1500 calories to keep a deficit going..I also exercise everyday as well.... Change is difficult for everyone and when we change it often frightens those closest to us because things are not as they were. Hang in there, when you go out to eat simply eat a reasonable portion...you don't have to weigh each one.. as you go along you will figure it out. For example.. I have a dear friend that I have lunch with once a month..its our time together and I don't want to toss my diet in her face..so I order a meal and box at least half of it for later. That way I keep the portions down and still enjoy my friend.

jade2112 · March 2013

Hi!
I have been on myfitnesspal for about a week now, but obviously been dieting for much longer.
I've tried many different kinds of dieting and now I have decided for myself that counting calories is the easiest way to eat whatever I like and still have some kind of control.

Now my boyfriend and sister are kind of worried about me and that annoys me so much!
Whenever we eat they make fun of how i weigh each noodle and how I am making a journal of it, so now I try and hide it from them.

My boyfriend says that I should stop, because I have sort of become too caught up with counting all my calories and in fact it takes a lot of my time, I am always scared (oh my god this sounds weird!!) that I have left out some calories so I make sure I write down more than I have actually eaten to be on the safe side and even though I eat 1500kcal a day, whenever I get upto 1000 I feel really guilty and want to stop eating. (But then you should eat at least 1200 to keep your metabolism fit, right?)

So I was wondering, is it normal to be so over controlling?
And how do you deal with your family and friends? Do they even disapprove?

Big Thank you in advance!!!

Be careful, this is how my eating disorder started. It just sort of evolves into eating less and less, being afraid to eat more. The weighing and guilt become all consuming over time. The obsession will make you crazy.

Take care of yourself.

jzammetti · March 2013

I had to obsess at first until I got a handle on food intake and exercise calories. For me, it was about teaching myself what is good for my body and eventually i stopped obsessing (it took about a year...). My family reacted the same way yours did...they thought I was crazy but now they praise my efforts and ask for advice. lol

minithiny · March 2013

Thank you everyone for your great advice!
Its nice to see what a kind community this is

When do I know, if it is becoming an obsession?
And I still dont really know how to handle my boyfriend, because today I may have kind of overreacted since I felt reaaaally guilty after eating pasta, eventhough it was still below 500kcal in total (but really, pasta just sounds like a sin to me!

!! )
So now he wants me to keep him up to date, if i am feeling guilty or worried, because he thinks talking might take the pressure off my shoulders (which is really sweet, if you think about it) but I really hate talking about it since it sounds so pathetic and really it makes it worse.
I just think I am being ambitious about my weight and look, because with summer coming up soon and starting uni soon, I want to feel fresh and skinny by the end of summer and right now I cant even concentrate on studying because I keep thinking: shouldnt I just skip dinner or lunch or whatever..
I've just been a little overweight all my life and I just want to sit by the beach one day and not feel super ashamed of my stomach poking out

(Im sure you guys understand!!)

Anyway, I am making myself dinner now (which I did not want to have before I read all these replies, so thank you!!) and I'll just try and feel good about what I am eating, I mean if it's all healthy stuff and all I should not be too worried about it, right!

how to cope with family and friends

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