Upset at their attitude

krinio
krinio Posts: 138 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I'm sorry but I just need to vent my frustration. My car is getting fixed and I asked my parents if they would give me a lift to the gym/pool tomorrow morning at 7am and they completely flipped out at me! They said it was too early and they wanted to sit up late to watch tv. I said that was fine, I would walk or go for a run instead and my mother called me a "stupid *****." It's completely unfounded. I like to exercise in the morning because I'm a morning person and I find I eat more healthily throughout the day if I've already exercised. On top of that I need to leave the day free to help my parents put up fencing in the garden and decorate the house. I just feel like I'm always working my diet and fitness goals around their schedules and restrictions. I'm 19 years old and they think it's supposedly too dangerous for me to walk 3 miles to the gym when my 15 year old brother does it every day! I'm not even allowed to take a bus! It's ridiculous. I really want to be healthy again but I feel like every time I'm doing well they try to hold me back.
Thanks for listening! I know I sound like an obnoxious teenager but I'm just frustrated because I'm so determined to get this right. I'm basically not allowed out of the house for crying out loud! Thanks again :s

Replies

  • kylielouttit
    kylielouttit Posts: 512 Member
    Do you have a gym buddy you can car pool with?

    My only advice is to say "screw 'em" and go by yourself and get the run in. Be safe, but you are 19 and can make your own decisions.
  • 194Days
    194Days Posts: 16
    they probably see your success and drive to achieve your goals as your way of asserting your independence and therefore threatening. sounds pretty toxic to me! If it were me I would do everything in my power to move out...seems like that would solve the problem...
  • HealthyEscape
    HealthyEscape Posts: 255
    I'm outraged :mad: that your MOTHER would call you such a horrible name! If I was in your shoes as an "obnoxious" teenager (as you called yourself), I would bark back that if THEY can't fit you into their schedule so you can make yourself healthier, then YOU cant fit them into your schedule and help with the fence and decorating.

    Just knowing your mom talks to you like that makes my heart hurt:sad:
  • jdsouthernbelle
    jdsouthernbelle Posts: 274
    Sorry to hear your parents are acting like that. The name calling was definitely uncalled for...I know that is very hurtful. Teenager or not....you still want to be healthy and that is a great objective!

    I say still go for that walk or run....plus you will be getting more exercise in putting up garden fence! You are an adult...make safe adult decisions!
  • leftyy2k4
    leftyy2k4 Posts: 71
    Yup. Move out. May not be that simple but that is the solution. Good Luck.
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    Do you have a gym buddy you can car pool with?

    My only advice is to say "screw 'em" and go by yourself and get the run in. Be safe, but you are 19 and can make your own decisions.

    I normally go with my sister but she objects to getting up early during the summer. I think I'm just gonna run anyway. I'm not letting them hold me back. They should understand that this is important to me! Thanks for your honest response. I expect there will be some sort of argument when I go anyway but they'll just have to get over it. This is a lifestyle! :)
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    Don't let ANYONE sabotage your efforts. But, by all means (and I'm speaking as a Mom here), be respectful! Is there anyone else that would be able to give you a ride? How about asking them to trade off favors? You will help them with the fencing if they could give you a ride. Can you take their car and have it back in time for them to use it? I know how you feel without a vehicle. I don't have one right now, but I am lucky enough to have the gym equipment in my home (well at least SOME stuff!).

    Can you talk to them and explain why this is so important to you? Maybe they just don't realize what it means to you. Well, I wish you luck with the situation, but remember, don't let anyone sabotage your efforts!!
  • bbblue92
    bbblue92 Posts: 108 Member
    All I can say is WOW, :noway: my daughter is going to be 18 this year and I don't push it but she's a few pounds overweight and I would LOVE for her to ask me for a ride to a gym, I would totally be supportive of her and the weightloss journey if she was committed as you sound that you are. (I would be a little uncomfortable with the thought of her going out jogging so early in the morning, i'm soo parnoid when it comes to crazy people out there! but would TOTALLY give her a ride to wherever she needed, that's what family is for!!) You have a right to be frustrated, that soo sucks!! Well at least it's only temporary until you get your car back?? Hang in there!! They should be more supportive of you . . . . sorry!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Mellie13
    Mellie13 Posts: 424
    I think you should still respect your parents, especially since you live in their house, but I do think it is vitally important to take care of your body. I'm sure they think they are doing the right thing and are trying to protect you. I would just go back and talk to them once you have calmed down and you can be rational and less emotionally charged. This will also help them to see you more as an adult and less as a teenager. If you have a well thought out plan instead of an emotional attack I'm sure that will help. Just try to help them to see your side of things while respecfully listening to their side as well. I'm sure you can come to an agreement that will meet both of your needs! Good luck!!
  • oats4breakfast
    oats4breakfast Posts: 225
    Yup. Move out. May not be that simple but that is the solution. Good Luck.

    ditto
  • fearlessfatty
    fearlessfatty Posts: 206 Member
    people hate what they don't understand. (and to the person who said to respect your parents, i disagree. respect is earned) and YOU deserve respect for sticking to your goals.

    Nobody puts Baby in a corner!! (i may have just dated myself with that one!)

    Go get fit - all of us on MyFitnessPal are behind you 100%!!!!!
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    they probably see your success and drive to achieve your goals as your way of asserting your independence and therefore threatening. sounds pretty toxic to me! If it were me I would do everything in my power to move out...seems like that would solve the problem...
    I'm outraged that your MOTHER would call you such a horrible name! If I was in your shoes as an "obnoxious" teenager (as you called yourself), I would bark back that if THEY can't fit you into their schedule so you can make yourself healthier, then YOU cant fit them into your schedule and help with the fence and decorating.
    Just knowing your mom talks to you like that makes my heart hurt
    Sorry to hear your parents are acting like that. The name calling was definitely uncalled for...I know that is very hurtful. Teenager or not....you still want to be healthy and that is a great objective! I say still go for that walk or run....plus you will be getting more exercise in putting up garden fence! You are an adult...make safe adult decisions!
    Yup. Move out. May not be that simple but that is the solution. Good Luck.
    Don't let ANYONE sabotage your efforts. But, by all means (and I'm speaking as a Mom here), be respectful! Is there anyone else that would be able to give you a ride? How about asking them to trade off favors? You will help them with the fencing if they could give you a ride. Can you take their car and have it back in time for them to use it? I know how you feel without a vehicle. I don't have one right now, but I am lucky enough to have the gym equipment in my home (well at least SOME stuff!). Can you talk to them and explain why this is so important to you? Maybe they just don't realize what it means to you. Well, I wish you luck with the situation, but remember, don't let anyone sabotage your efforts!!

    Thank you everyone for your responses! It's much appreciated. :) I have thought about moving out but then my mother always crys and I can't bear to do it. ( the having to help decorate and do the fence is the result of staying at home even though I pretty much can't leave) I live close to uni as well and nobody I know can move out with me either.
    I probably should have said about the supposedly dangerous walk to the gym. I live in Belfast, Northern Ireland which in the past has been pretty much a war zone. But the Troubles ended in the nineties and my parent still seem to be living in the past. I live in a good area and I'm a responsible person!

    Plan is this! I'm gonna go for an early run but bring my (big & scary but harmless) dog with me so that if an argument incurs when I come home I can smooth it over by saying I had the dog with me. That way I can still get my exercise in and sort out the arguments when I come to them. Bonus, I will have already walked the dog so I can go for a nice relaxing swim in the evening when I get my beloved car back.

    Thanks Everyone!!! I'm sorry if I missed anyone out. You guys have helped calm me down from what was a pretty emotional state and I have to thank you because ordinarily that would lead to me giving up. I love this site and all the people on it. :)
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    :)
  • balfonso
    balfonso Posts: 370 Member
    Perhaps carry a rape alarm or a pepper spray if it makes them feel better?

    I say go for a run! :)
  • beutiful5678
    beutiful5678 Posts: 58 Member
    that sucks. i had a difficult time living with my parents, too. i can honestly say we both matured the most when i stopped living with them at 16. she realized i was an individual capable of rational decisions and i realized she wasn't as mean and difficult to deal with as i thought. some people are just easier to love when you don't have to live with them and deal with on a daily basis.

    it might be emotionally healthier for you to move out as some others have suggested (if you can).

    is it light enough when you walk to the gym? if not, can you push your departure for the gym back enough for there to be more light?
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member

    Nobody puts Baby in a corner!! (i may have just dated myself with that one!)

    No I get you! lol It's a classic! :)
  • stridersraven
    stridersraven Posts: 27
    much love to you.... i am so blessed with supportive family that it shocks me when i hear things like this. mustve hurt to be called like that by your own family. you will always love em, but sometimes its hard to understand them! be respectful, be polite, but live your life chick.
  • beutiful5678
    beutiful5678 Posts: 58 Member
    i just read your plan...

    i think it's great! just make sure you clear it with your parents first. (you may be an adult but you are living in their house and you don't want them to think you are being subversive.)
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    P.S My mother isn't normally that mean. I don't know why she just flipped like that.
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    I just said to my Dad. He said "we'll see." But I think he was secretly happy that the dog-walking was getting taken care of. :)
  • cdavis1126
    cdavis1126 Posts: 302 Member
    maybe mom was just having a bad day...maybe you just caught her at a bad moment. however, the name calling is out of line. as a mom, i expect my daughter (24) to respect me in my house but I also try to show her respect. we do alot for each other. she took my car for an oil change today and gave me her car so I could still get to the gym. she knows how important that is to me. she just signed up for the gym but won't be able to get there till 8 pm on most nights. so i offered to meet her there to give her encouragement. i figured two workouts a few times a week can only help me! and it will definitely encourage her to go if she knows I'm going out of my way for her. maybe there could be a way for you and your mom to do something together to bring you closer?
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Yup. Move out. May not be that simple but that is the solution. Good Luck.

    ditto

    Yup. Get a job (if you don't already have one), find a roomie or two to help lessen the cost, and get the hell out of that environment!
  • lettuceb
    lettuceb Posts: 207 Member
    Good for you!! Keep it up and I am sorry that your parents are trying to bring you down. Hang in there and stick to your guns. It almost sounds like your parents are jealous of your healthy life and resent what you are doing but keep on pushing and hopefully they will come around. I have a 19 year old son and wish he had your attitude!
  • krinio
    krinio Posts: 138 Member
    UPDATE: Went out for that run this morning with my doggie! She was loving it anyway but I think I may have tired her out a bit! She's sleeping under my bed :S I enjoyed it! I think I'll schedule in more hardcore doggie runs for every time my car isn't available!
    Parents didn't say anything about last night, it's just as if it didn't happen. I'm happy enough with that to be fair. I think they must have been in a bad mood or something yesterday. It's just made me realise how much of a personal journey this is and all credit to the people who have stuck at it. I'm only about 2 weeks in but I'm making this happen for me and nobody else.

    I think I'll wait until things have blown over and then discuss how the name calling is hurtful and see if I can get anywhere. To be fair it was out of character. It's never happened before now. I do respect my parents and they know that. I just think they forget that I'm not a child and I can do these things for myself.
    Thanks for your replies! I just needed to get it out of my system and find that solution! Good luck with all your diet and fitness goals!
  • bbblue92
    bbblue92 Posts: 108 Member
    Good luck!!!!
  • Jennplus2
    Jennplus2 Posts: 984 Member
    Ok, as a mom I just have to say that the obnoxious teenager is your mother not you. I would never talk to my kids like that. EVER! I don't care if my daughter was the worst teen ever! You don't talk that way about people you love and that love you. I think they must be seeing the changes your making and feel bad about themselves. Try not to let them hold you back. Make friends with your mom again, because I know she must have felt really bad the min after she said that and then go for your run. If she tells you that you shouldn't go because of safety tell her to go with you. No reason she can't burn a few calories herself, right?
This discussion has been closed.

Categories