I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.... I know I can

I just turned thirty although I dont care about the number really. It did however put my life in perspective. I am the mother of three boys 6, 2 and 1. Turning thirty made me realize that I have a lot of life left to live and I want to be able to expericene it to the fullest.

My story starts like many of yours I was heavy as a child. Most of my family where and still are heavy. It wasn't until I was in my teens that I even realized that I was fat. I met my husband and he made me feel beautiful. I almost forgot at some points that I was even heavy until I went to shop for a wedding gown. I slowly have just gained more and more weight not even realizing just how big I was getting until one day..... Our family had gone on a heart walk in honor of my father who died at a very early age of heart failure and his father as well. My aunt who has just lost over 100 pounds and others in my family have lost alot of weight. I feel like the odd man out all of a sudden. We all took pictures together in pink shirts. My aunt posted them on Face book... i had to look twice. I was the size of two of them. I spent twenty minutes just sitting there thinking about how i had gotten to where i was. Beating my self up and feeling bad for my children and husband who didn't ask for a unhealthy mate or mother. It was like the flood gates of reality had washed over me. All I could think about was all the times that I didn't do what I wanted because of my weight. All the experiences I have missed out on. Dont get me wrong I do alot of things but I have learned to improvise, settle change things to fit me without even realizing I think sometime. I sat there and thought how long are you going to let your life pass by without really living it?

I am usually the strong mom of our family for everyone not just my children and husband. I realized I couldn't do this alone, I needed tons of support to give me the strength to push through all of the challanges that where ahead. My husband who is the best, he jumped right on board. He has been encouraging me and making me feel like nothing is impossible. So here I go life...I am starting my journey to be me again, something that I am almost scared to see where it goes. My journey is going to be full of emotional road blocks and physical let downs.. so if any of you out there have a word of a advice for this thirty year old mom who has to loose a whole other person please do. I am going to need all the advice and support I can get.

I think I can I think I can I think I can....... I know I Can

Amanda