Lost the will to carry on

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I don't know how you guys and girls can stay committed to exercising and eating right I have lost to will to carry on. When I got a full time job it had me so busy I had no time to do anything. Then winter hit and I lost the will to walk, eat right etc. Now I made a huge move I moved to Ontario where I don't know anyone. here I am stuck at 210 and don't seem to interested in losing weight. Maybe I'm not meant to be thin or at a good weight... I know these sound like excuses but well they are but I have lost the will to do anything. Got any suggestion No rude comments pls
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Replies

  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    Look at all these wonderful things you wrote on your profile page:
    About Me

    33 stay at home wife. have a wonderful man who works hard to feed his family.
    Why I Want To Get In Shape

    summer wedding hopefully next summer
    to feel good about my own body
    to be healthy again
    wear size 12 pants again
    My Inspirations

    my puppy gizmo
    jeff my fiance
    my step mom


    Carry on, Sister. If there's a tomorrow then there's a chance for things to get better. You are a woman loved, whether you realize it or not, and your value goes far beyond what size pants you're wearing.

    Your move to Ontario is a blessing in disguise. You can restart your life; be who you were meant to be...One HOT Mamma!

    Start small and be kind to yourself. Whether it is a commitment to drink more water or make that good choice at lunch time instead of the unhealthy one; you deserve to live your life healthier.

    Best wishes to you!
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    I totally get where you are coming from. That is a lot of changes. But, eating better will help you cope better even if it doesn't seem like it. I won't get into all my problems, but they do make it difficult to prepare a lot of meals from scratch. So, if your budget allows it find convenient healthy foods. Fruit is a good example. It takes nothing to prepare an apple to eat, wash it off and it's good to go. A jar of nuts is a handy snack for getting in some healthy fat and protein. Boiled eggs are good if you aren't vegan. My fall back "junk" food is soy burgers, easy to zap in the microwave and it makes me feel like I am cheating. Baby carrots are also good, they come all prepped in a handy package. So, the thing is to be a little creative see what healthy foods you can find that take little to no prep. And when you are up to it you can work up to making more difficult healthy foods like a lot of chopped and stir fried veggies for a whole grain pasta. That is what I have been doing anyway and I have not had any desire since October to go back to having my diet consist of mostly junk food.

    As for working out/exercising today my motivation to work out was that I wanted to eat more and still have a sizable deficit to record. Sometimes the math will be a good motivation. The other thing that motivates me to take walks is my dog, she loves walks and if I give her an extra walk above and beyond the one she gets with her dad it makes us all happier.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
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    Find something you can be passionate about, I only started really successfully losing weight when I became passionate about eating right, being in control of what I put in my body and finding my fitness. I personally would never go to the gym because I know I would not like it and therefore lose motivation. I now workout at home 6 days a week and I haven't missed a day in 4 months simply because I love it so much, I look forwar to working out every morning, I also love trying new recipes and finding that healthy / normal eating can be so delicious and fun!
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    I didn't make these changes at once.

    First, I started logging what I ate. Not counting things, or picking a magic number to stop at; just measuring (for accuracy) and logging.

    Second, I saw how bad my choices were. I started unconsciously eating less or picking better choices.

    Third, I chose to start changing my eating habits. I picked those magic numbers and made those calorie counts my weight-loss priority.

    Fourth, I figured that being more active wouldn't hurt. I just tried to move more when I could. I did not log it.

    Fifth, I felt like I was cheating myself to put this effort into moving more and not getting rewarded for it, so I started doing planned "exercise" and logging it.

    Sixth (where I am now), I realize that I feel like crap when I do not exercise, both physically and emotionally, so I exercise more days than I rest.

    Nowhere in these steps did I say I was perfect or did everything right all of the time. I fall off the wagon every once in a while, and sometimes I just fall into maintenance mode (although I am not even close to my goal weight) until I can resume my routine.

    The hardest thing I had to learn was how to forgive myself and pick myself back up. We all start out as "self-defeaters". When I started out, if I ate 100 calories over, I felt guilty. Now I don't care, because it all checks out in the end. For the past three days I've eaten 1000 calories over my goal and I don't feel guilty about it. Apparently I was hungry. If I gain a pound this week, it's not a big deal in the long run.

    Just follow these steps and you'll do just fine :)
  • dove100
    dove100 Posts: 8
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    Hey Girl, you can do it. One very wise man once said, "Just Do It". But I do hear ya. Some times the best way to help ourselves is to help others. Can you help me? I started out pretty good and I've had a back side over the Easter Holidays; to many Easter goodies:(!! Tomorrow is a new day and I plan to assist you by asking you to keep tack of my progress. I think that if I had to account to someone besides MFP, we would see the skinny side:).:smile: So whatcha think Hot Momma?
    If you want we could be friends so that we can see each others daily food chart and exercises. I love you already, Dove
  • Erin959
    Erin959 Posts: 83 Member
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    It sounds like you're really struggling. All I can say is don't give up on yourself, because you're totally worth the effort.

    My sister and I work full time jobs and don't have a lot of time to cook during the week. What we do is on a Friday or Saturday we go through our recipe books and pick a whole bunch of recipes that we want to have and then go shopping. The next day we have a big cook-up so that we have healthy meals to take to work, and then eat for dinner during the week if we finish late or can't be bothered cooking. You can find recipes for quick and easy healthy meals that you can cook if you're a little short on time.

    I moved to Sydney about 5 years ago and still have hardly any friends so I understand how hard it can be. Add friends here who can be there for you until you meet some new people where you are. That way hopefully you won't feel quite so lonely.

    Hope things get better for you and remember DON'T GIVE UP :flowerforyou:
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    Moving from Ireland to Australia was the best thing that happened to me.
    Think about it you are starting over. You are going to have to get out of your comfort zone to make friends.
    Why not join some classes get some exercise and make friends. Think of this as the start of the new you not the end. I have made some amazing friends that live a healthy lifestyle and that makes things so much easier. It's normal for them so it is starting to become the normal for me.. Getting up at 6am for yoga in Australia normal.. Do this at home and they would have me signed in lol.
    See this as a fresh start :flowerforyou:
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    All of the above!! Also, I notice that 50% of your friends have not logged on in a while. No wonder you are feeling a bit isolated, what with being in a new town and everything else!!

    I have got involved in the MFP community and feed off their support and enthusiasm, so that support network is vital to me. Also, walking Gizmo would be a great way to get out and about in your new town and meet people.

    It is hard to deal with change, but now in many respects you are in a place where you have to embrace change. Changing the way you eat is a HUGE change on it's own and can be sooooo hard, but the only time you have lost is when you give up.

    So, add me as a friend if you want. I tend to say things as I see them, so I come across as being a bit blunt sometimes. Most importantly, you can do this - baby steps over time.

    Good luck, and have fun!!
  • IaninPetersham
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    Hello OneHotMama

    I live in Australia. I'm 60, male, single by choice and I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes about 2 weeks ago. It has forced many changes, most of them very positive. I spent a number of years being told by my doctor that I was heading for diabetes but I didn't change my life until I was diagnosed. This message is not a warning about diabetes, but I AM here to tell you that what you do early in life affects you later in life. I guess you know that but what you might not know is that life goes by in a flash. Honey, it seems like only yesterday that I was your age but it's not. It's 27 years ago and it might as well never have happened. I don't feel old but to the world I am.

    The takeaway message I want to give you is to be kind to yourself, to love yourself and see yourself as the most important person in the universe – without you being you, others can't be themselves. Making life changes like you want to make aren't easy (dammit, I know!) but start with one small thing and stick to it. Water helps the metabolism – maybe you can increase your plain water intake by one or two glasses a day. Find the things you can do and do them. Stick with it and make the journey as exciting as the destination.

    Ian
  • iamlaprell
    iamlaprell Posts: 71 Member
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    This may not be helpful to you but I spent the last 10 years putting on weight and hearing from all corners that I needed to exercise and eat better but even if I cried in dressing rooms while trying on clothes and hurt everyday in my knees and legs and never felt confident enough to even go on dates, I never wanted to lose the weight. I honestly embraced the idea that if people didn't like me then they could keep on walking, I didn't care about whether someone liked the way I looked or not. I truly felt at peace with my body most of the time because I could avoid those things that made me feel bad about my weight, I did not swim, I only shopped when I had to and I found that maternity clothes fit my overweight body shape in a wonderful way, so what did it matter if I didn't have to deal with the depressing realities of being overweight on a daily basis.

    Fast forward 10 years and 125 lbs overweight, the day after Christmas last year I got sick, just a really bad cold/flu nothing serious but I spent three weeks lying around barely able to move. I don't know if it was a medication induced stupor or just something that happened but the day I finally got well enough to move again, I just had this revelation! I realized that I no longer wanted to be in my body, I wanted a different body and what's more, I wanted to work for it. In ten years I've joined gyms a few times just because I felt the need to exercise, not out of a desire to lose weight and I did well with it, but I never really cared about results, I just wanted something to do. This time around, I did not join a gym, I was doing this for myself and I was going to do it "without help" if that makes sense.

    So I laced up my five year old sneakers and started walking. And it was painful and hard and I could only walk for 15 minutes a day for the first week or so and I hated it!!! I was so disappointed in myself, but instead of giving up I felt challenged, I felt like there was no way I was capable of only walking for 15 minutes at a time. I mean, seriously, if I had to run for my life, what would this mean? It would mean that I'd be killed because there would be no way I could run far enough and fast enough to save myself! That's a truth that is so hard to accept, that you couldn't even save your own life, much less the life of someone you care about!!!

    So I kept going and eventually I have reached the point where I can walk for three - six miles at a time and I'll tell you 'IT FEELS SO GOOD'. I cannot imagine going a day without walking now! It is my time away, my time to clear my head and my time to think through the things that I want and what would make me happy. I imagine what clothes I want to buy when I can fit them, I imagine the looks I'll get when I can go out in an outfit that just looks good and feel confident. I imagine running a 5K, I imagine living a more active lifestyle, like hiking up to beautiful vista and being able to enjoy seeing something so amazing that only a few people have to drive to reach!

    So, my advice, it will happen when you truly want it to happen! There is no key to turn in a lock that will wake up your drive, but I will tell you that if you can find the motivation to start, and keep going for a few weeks, you will reach a point that you cannot imagine a day without a workout because you will not feel like the day is complete unless you have done your favorite activity.

    Also, no one size fits all when it comes to working out, you have to try out different activities and find the one that allows you to feel free, then keep doing it. Eventually you can add in other things to sculpt, but if you're having trouble starting, then find the one thing that you truly enjoy and if you only do that each day, that's fine, at least it will get you in the habit of doing something positive for your body!
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I didn't make these changes at once.

    First, I started logging what I ate. Not counting things, or picking a magic number to stop at; just measuring (for accuracy) and logging.

    Second, I saw how bad my choices were. I started unconsciously eating less or picking better choices.

    Third, I chose to start changing my eating habits. I picked those magic numbers and made those calorie counts my weight-loss priority.

    Fourth, I figured that being more active wouldn't hurt. I just tried to move more when I could. I did not log it.

    Fifth, I felt like I was cheating myself to put this effort into moving more and not getting rewarded for it, so I started doing planned "exercise" and logging it.

    Sixth (where I am now), I realize that I feel like crap when I do not exercise, both physically and emotionally, so I exercise more days than I rest.

    Nowhere in these steps did I say I was perfect or did everything right all of the time. I fall off the wagon every once in a while, and sometimes I just fall into maintenance mode (although I am not even close to my goal weight) until I can resume my routine.

    The hardest thing I had to learn was how to forgive myself and pick myself back up. We all start out as "self-defeaters". When I started out, if I ate 100 calories over, I felt guilty. Now I don't care, because it all checks out in the end. For the past three days I've eaten 1000 calories over my goal and I don't feel guilty about it. Apparently I was hungry. If I gain a pound this week, it's not a big deal in the long run.

    Just follow these steps and you'll do just fine :)

    Very wise advice. Slow and sustainable changes. That's how I did it.
  • cinnaminty
    cinnaminty Posts: 1 Member
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    You are probably feeling like this because you're stressed and not exercising. Just get back into it gradually with some walking here and there. Gradually, you'll start feeling better about yourself and it will get easier! Exercising makes you feel a whole lot better! Have one of these (hug)
  • marilynolivares1
    marilynolivares1 Posts: 61 Member
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    You know the saying one day at a time and I saying to you one hour at a time. Just do not give up keep trying. Trust yourself
  • UticaBoy51
    UticaBoy51 Posts: 344 Member
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    You have to fight it! Carry on, its one of the hardest things that you will do but will be worth it. You are worth it aren't you?
  • AmandaWalt628
    AmandaWalt628 Posts: 51 Member
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    Don't give up...NEVER give up!! You are totally worth it all. :flowerforyou:
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
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    maybe you're trying to make too drastic of a change?
  • awetherell
    awetherell Posts: 62 Member
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    Everyone goes through this at some point. I quite often spend weeks eating healthily and exercising more and then step on the scales with anticipation, only to find there has been no movement. It it were really easy, everyone would be a skinny rake. Often when there is no change you need to shake it up a bit - cut out one thing that you regularly have that you could do without, or even just add in an extra 15 minute walk every day (this would make a certain small waggy thing very happy and I find that rather contagious).

    What I think you should do is stop worrying and take a step back. Do whatever you need to relax, whether it's having a long shower or bath, taking your puppy for a walk or just sitting quietly with some music that you love and think about why you started trying to lose weight. If you can, write your motivations down at some point - not just negative things like lack of confidence and bad health, but also positive things like feeling great about yourself, looking good, a longer life etc. Even if it is a little thing like the feeling when you realise you've gone down a size or when you realise that you don't actually want something unhealthy to eat. Keep this list for whenever you are feeling like it is not worth carrying on and look back.

    You can do this. You wouldn't have started it if you didn't really want it. Everything is difficult but just take one day at a time and you will get there eventually. Set yourself goals and plan rewards for when you reach them. If you want to, sign yourself up for some challenges to keep you training - a run / walk / cycle etc. There are probably some things you can do with other dog walkers for added motivation. Like UticaBoy51 said, you are worth this. Give yourself the body and confidence you deserve!

    Keep trying! Good luck. xx
  • fitznewme2013
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    remember why you started! keep something in eye site so that you are reminded of that every day! weather its on the bathroom mirror, your computer screen,or sitting on your coffee maker! You started for a reason so find that emotion of WHY and build from that!

    Me personally i keep a b4 picture close by and when i feel like its easier to just do what the heck ever i want i look at that picture and it reminds me that i dont want to be that person again/anymore!

    You can do this! once you get back into a routine you will feel so much better and it will push you to do even more! Good luck to you!!! Remember every day doesnt have to be perfect but every day just TRY and one day it wont even be a thought you will just do it!
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
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    I don't have anything to add as it's already been expressed so beautifully - what wonderful responses this thread has received.
  • sherlc29
    sherlc29 Posts: 5 Member
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    STOP STOP STOP!!!!!! You fell off the wagon, so what get back up and keep movnig...Gizmo needs a walk take him for walk and play a little ball with him, 15 minutes. I will echo some of the other postings. Pick a small goal and make it consistent; I will do 10 jumpingjacks once a week.....and do that just that...then up the ante. Fast food items can be carrots (myfavorite), pretzels, fruit, nuts, and plain old crackers throw them in your purse to keep munching healthy....

    Subcribe to a exercise website that has postiive quotes, they are on facebook and twitter....I just can remember one right now...it'll keep you motivated...addicted to the gym has a facebook page, with positve quotes, motivation and lifestyle change stories.....

    Since I run, on twitter I following Running...they have a lot of motiviational quotes.....keep at it no matter what get back up and try again.....repeat!


    GUESS WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T LOST THE WILL OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T OF POSTED.. :)

    Life is an adventure, enjoy it!