Happy Anniversary to Me!!!!!!

Greetings My Fitness Pals--

I figured I was nearly deadsmack in the middle of my two anniversaries to get this communique posted-- two years ago June 2nd, on 6/2/08, I sat in the waiting room of a local doctor for my son's appointment. The Today Show was on, and profiled a woman named Kathy from Ohio on their Joy Fit Club-- celebrating and honoring folks who have taken off more than 100 pounds and kept it off, through diet and exercise.

The Ohio connection struck me at first-- born in Toledo, and living in Cincinnati til age 5, I've been a Buckeye at heart all my life, even though I've been a Jersey girl since 1970. So I sat there and I watched. Kathy had lost 150 pounds-- the old fashioned way. She did Jenny Craig, watched her caloric intake, and exercised.

I sat there truly shamed. Weighing 211 pounds at the time-- down from a staggering 222 a few years earlier-- I sat there glued. I didn't have 150 pounds to lose-- only a third of that. Why can SHE do it and not ME? My 44th birthday was 3 days later, and this was me-- (pay no mind to the date on the stinkin' picture-- )



I didn't even tell anyone at first, but I vowed on that day to take off 50 pounds by my 45th birthday. I'd tried so many times to take off weight, but was truly resigned to living life as a fat lady. I'd made every excuse in the book. No time. No money. I must have thyroid problems. You name it, I tried it.

Looking for the "easiest" solution, I went to Sam's and bought cases of Slim-Fast. Believing food to be the problem, I decided to take it out of the equation. I'll drink the shakes, have my pre-packaged snacks, a small dinner and call it a day. And it did work. I took off weight. By July 22 I had lost 11 pounds, and was pleased. But, I was hungry all the time.

On July 22, 2008, we were celebrating my daughter's 1th birthday. I had had my shakes and my dinner, and denied myself the birthday cake instead having watermelon for dessert. This was me preparing to light the birthday candles and serve the cake--




I was worried that I'd eaten too much watermelon, and wanted to find the calorie count. So I went to the computer, typed in "online calorie counter" in my search engine, and guess what I found? Myfitnesspal.com!!!!!!!!!!

I've been a member here 3 weeks shy of two years and I can't tell you how my life has changed. I'm now a new creature. I don't see the world at all the same in many ways, let alone weight.

I learned to take captive every morsel I put in my mouth. To make wise choices. To measure and weigh and count and control. I learned the value of exercise to my body in weight loss, but more importantly just in overall health and good feeling. I feel better now. (freaking arthritis notwithstanding)

I learned to deal with stress and anxiety, anger and exhilaration, joy and sorrow, rebellious teens, high maintenance spouse, terrible twos, awkward tweens, poverty, unemployment, homeschooling WITHOUT turning to food as my solace. I learned the strength and empowerment that come from controlling something-- ANYTHING-- in an out of control world, out of control existence. I may not control much, but I CAN CONTROL what I put in my face. I learned the joy and stress relief that comes from exercise. Much more comforting than food ever was, or will be.

More importantly, this turtle learned how to open up-- thanks to some lovely, lovely friends here-- they taught me how to open up and be myself and not be afraid to do what I do best-- speak the truth in love, and let the chips fall where they may. I do not sugarcoat. I will not placate. I do not make nor accept excuses and/or excuse makers. I got myself fat. WE got ourselves fat-- it's our job to cut the crap and get ourselves out of it.

I got lambasted very early on from some "veterans" for my snap-out-of-it views, and it shut me down. But, through the love of fellow members, I opened up, spread my wings, opened my mouth, loved, was loved in return. My beloved black team has seen me through much-- inspired me through much. I'm sure they know, for I tell them often, how very much they mean to me-- how they've changed my life. If I've been able to give even a fraction back to this wonderful group as I've gotten, I'm thankful. You raise me up people--

Here are pictures of me today--




Yes, I still look at these pictures with a critical eye. And no, I've not yet reached goal. I bounce between 12 and 7 pounds away from goal-- maddening as all get out. Alas, middle age is hitting and hitting hard-- hormones/perimenopause/arthritis-- all have conspired to shift even with this past year a few things around. But, I'm not laying down and taking it. At 46 years old, I'm training for my first half marathon. It's hard as hell, but I'm not gonna stop. I'm going to get to goal or die trying-- and get fit, fit, fit along the way.

After my half, I'm beginning Insanity-- a total kick-butt program-- oh em gee-- it's gonna kill me. But, I will not stop.

So, my dear fitness pals -- as many of you know, if you know me, my message is a simple one-- don't freaking stop. I'm raising 9 kids-- 2-19-- life is hard. The good Lord continues to toss us curve balls-- and I swing and miss some of 'em-- but, I'm never stepping out of the batter's box. I'm staying in here and fighting.

And if I can, you can. And should-- take control today, my friends. Don't give up. Don't stop. Ever.

I love you all-- thank you for two freaking incredible years-- thank you for being a part of me-- a new me.