Jeans don't fit my waist and thighs at the same time

I'm 5'8" my waist at my belly button is 27" and its 26" at the narrowest point. My thighs are 23.5" around each. And I measures around the widest part of my butt and it was 39". My weight is 137 lbs. I'm not big and my only reason to lose weight is that my thighs are large compared to the rest of my measurements. They're not disturbingly big and I don't think they look bad ( untoned atm but nothing too bad) but I'd be more comfortable if I could at least fit in one type of jeans properly. This really stresses me out. I have sensory issues with how my clothes feel on my body so having too much or not enough fabric in certain areas feels extra bad.
I used to wear mens jeans because I could get relaxed fit ones so my thighs had space. Well, now I'm a bit older and I realize that look isn't really flattering. I've been wearing pac sun girls skinny jeans for maybe 2 years now. I wear a 13 there in skinny jeans. The waist is huge on them and the rise barely covers my butt. All a belt does is clump up the excess material which looks bad and feels bad and tugs my underwear down so I end up with plumbers crack. Problem is, technically my waist fits nicely in a 9 at pacsun but my thighs won't fit until size 13. I can shove myself into a 9 if I don't bend so I know for a fact my waist fits in them properly lol and an 11 is better but still a tad too tight for my legs.
Today I was shopping at tj maxx for women's skinny jeans and a 6 wouldn't pull up past my calves. 8 fit my thighs correctly but my waist too loosely and the rise, yet again, barely covered my butt. I get it, it's low rise but plumbers crack is not ok. 10s where too big everywhere. The lady at the dressing room pulled out a tape measure and a book to help me determine my size. Top of my hips, where low rise jeans sit on me, is 34". The book said 34" waist is size 14. That isn't my waist size though and 14s would be huge on me. 27" waist puts me in size 6 which clearly wasn't working.
Then I went to walmart and tried a 6m there but they were huge. So I tried a curvy cut jean (which I hate the look of since I like skinny jean style and the legs on these weren't skinny style) and they just bowed out on the sides and gave me hip flaps. I'm not even sure what that material was trying to accomplish but it looked really bad. Like floppy dog ears on my hips.
Basically, my thighs fit one size and my waist fits another and no 2 brands are the same. It didn't help that I asked my mom to help me at first so she looked me up and down for a second then grabbed a size 16 from the rack and told me to try them on. She justified it because she doesn't understand that juniors sizes aren't the same as women's so she assumed I wear a 13 juniors must be close to a 14 women's at least. Still did not impress me but I guess I sort of see her logic.
Its been a long day and I needed to vent. What brands make jeans for the large-butted small-waisted women of the world???