food is a drug to me, would rather be on crack, at least i c

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Food is my source of comfort, joy, and my reason to wake up in the morning. Sad, isn't it? I hate myself for overeating, and yet it brings me so much happiness at the same time. And now, here it is only mid-afternoon, and I'm well over my calorie limit. I keep making all these exceptions, and yet they are the rule. Like going out to eat (mexican food).
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Replies

  • EKarma
    EKarma Posts: 594 Member
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    We eat to live, not live to eat..
  • ellykay7
    ellykay7 Posts: 26
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    I recommend a book called "When Food is Love" and/or "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. They are amazing and have completely changed the way I look at and relate to food.

    Best of luck on your journey, you CAN do this, and we are all here to help each other!!
  • RhiannaGonnaBeSoHot
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    easier said than done, my friend... Just like lateral stripes aren't flattering but you wear them anyway... case in point.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    It takes time... I don't recommend any books because I didn't have any on my journey. I just had to learn it all on my own and I'm proud to say that. I like to think I'm stronger because of it - not stronger than someone else, just stronger than I could be just because of my personality type. I made gradual changes to my lifestyle instead of changing everything all at once and that really helped me. I slowly started seeing the results I wanted just from making small changes and that made me want to make more changes. I still have to think twice when I order a drink at a restaurant because I'm used to saying "Dr Pepper" and now I drink water. When I drink a Dr Pepper, it burns my throat. After awhile, I get the taste I used to love but at first, it doesn't really appeal to me... so why I keep drinking it, I have no clue. Junk food doesn't treat me the same way it used to because my body is now accustomed to the healthy lifestyle... and this has really helped me.

    YOUR BODY will help you in your journey. It gets used to whatever you do to it and it's protesting now, which is why you're still craving the old stuff. Stay strong and try to just work on portions, then work on quality of food, then drinking more water, then less fast food, more exercise, etc. Take it easy and you should be able to stick with it easier. Good luck!
  • kevcar0603
    kevcar0603 Posts: 18 Member
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    It takes a lot of courage to admit what you wrote, and just saying it out loud can help you change your eating habits. I love MFP because it lets you see what you eat in black & white so you can be accountable.

    Can I make a few suggestions based on your food diary? You are eating a lot of carbs, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they won't fill you up. The bagel & cream cheese and the muffin won't fill you and you'll end up over-eating. Try to eat some protein or complex carbs for breakfast, like an egg white omelet with fruit on the side or a whole grain cereal topped with fruit. Snack on a serving of almonds or a greek yogurt to get you through to the next meal. Baby carrots and hummus always help tide me over too. I also like green tea to curb my appetite.

    Don't think that you can't eat something like Mexican food when you're trying to lose weight. I've lost 60 lbs since January and I have not felt deprived at ALL because I don't consider anything to be completely off-limits. We'll have Mexican food, but I use salsa instead of cheese for flavor and skip all the tortillas. Just have 1 and eat extra grilled chicken or vegetables with it. Skip the rice. Eat some of the tortilla chips, but eat only 1 serving. Moderation is key.

    I do agree 100% with the eat to live not live to eat philosophy, but I do think that with a little bit of tweaking, you can accommodate the foods that you like into a healthy lifestyle.

    Good luck! You can do it!
  • cindyangotti
    cindyangotti Posts: 294 Member
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    I have often thought the same thing. I used to wish to be an alcoholic rather then a food addict. You can stay away from alcohol or drugs but you HAVE to have food.

    However, there are so many healthy foods I have food that are just as comforting as the high calorie, unhealthy foods. You must find the alternatives that will keep you satisfied. You will find them.
  • OnieBee
    OnieBee Posts: 67
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    I too am a food addict, it's what got me here and as mentioned above unlike alcohol or drugs you need food to survive! It will always be in your life and what is important is finding WHAT causes you to turn to food? It may not be a black or white answer and it might take a lot of time to figure it out, but it's important that you do so you can find your triggers and overcome this addiction. Acknowledging the problem is the first step. Get a GREAT support system and lean on them when you are feeling down. Good luck!
  • BeautifulScarsWECHANGED
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    I recommend the same book "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. I'm reading it and it's totally changed my outlook on food!
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    easier said than done, my friend... Just like lateral stripes aren't flattering but you wear them anyway... case in point.

    I think she was trying to help you....and is right...don't ever wish to do down the drugs road.....that is much nastier than being addicted to food.

    I wish you well on your journey xxx
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    But the drugs and alchol don't go anywhere for recovering addicts, they are still out there just like junk food is for us. We all just learn to make healthier, wiser decisions in life. We decide what we want our lives to reflect. I've heard that a number of times, "I'd rather be a crack-addict", whoa.........no you wouldn't! Seeing how they live is not pleasant, yes when someone stops drinking or using a substance that's a very good thing if it's effecting their lives in a negative way.

    But the substances never go anywhere, they could always be found if someone really 'wanted' to find them, I think that's what many of forget. Yes, you don't have to do drugs or drink, but it doesn't fail to exist in the world, just because a person quits it Just as we could chose to again eat a box of twinkies, a substance abuser could also choose again to use a pipe. No addiction is better or worse than another, when we feel out of control that's not a pleasant place to be.

    An addiction is an addiction, something we feel out of control in our life over.

    I used to feel out of control with food, the more I ate healthy food, the more in control I felt, the less I craved crappy food.
    I can honesty say food has NEVER make me happy, it's covered feelings and made me numb but certainly never made me happy.

    I prefer feeling what I'm feeling not that it's always terrific but eating doesn't change the facts, life is still what it is after the food hangover.

    Good luck finding your way, and you WILL if you stick around MFP:wink::flowerforyou:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    I recommend the same book "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. I'm reading it and it's totally changed my outlook on food!
    I highly recommend any Geneen Roth books, she speaks from her own experience and shares so many lessons on learning to leave addictions behind. Great book discussion going on MFP right now with her new book!
  • spaul82478
    spaul82478 Posts: 709 Member
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    :bigsmile: I feel ya.. I LOVE food to and I LOVE chocolate.. but what worked for me may or may not help you... This is what I reccomend.. You can still eat what you like, just change the way they are prepared.. I noticed you drink 2% MIlk.. try skim..less calories... Also bagels.. they now have 100 calorie bagels and light cream cheese... Fat free sour cream, 2% cheese instead of full fat cheese, Light bread instead of regulr bread (also reccomend it be Whole grain) just a few differences can make a world of differnce.. YOU are NOT ALONE in this journey... MFP has many supportors and many suggestions for food alternatives and recipies...

    I WISH you the best of luck on your journey.. and as everyone else has said... Turning to crack or alcohol is not the answer...
  • david1956
    david1956 Posts: 190 Member
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    I guess we're all very different, but I've found that the more I've got into really intense exercise the less I want or even like bad food.

    Recently I was having lunch with someone and the place has a particular lemon cake with rich icing that I used to love. Given it was such a rare event, I thought I'd have a piece and give the other person half.

    Within about three mouth-fulls I was almost vomiting. It seemed so rich and sweet it was inedible,and that was not a kind of flight of fancy in my mind. My taste buds have totally changed, and I can say quite honestly I often crave vegetables now. After the gym my body is simply craving nutrition, not junk.

    Also I think intense exercise flicks the "lifestyle" change switch. I don't want junk now because it simply is not "me" anymore. Whether I go to the gym or what I choose to eat are no longer emotional decisions (although I do love the gym) any more than whether I go to work is based on whether I feel like doing so. They're essential to my life.

    Not sure how relevant to you, but just my experience. But don't get down on yourself... it takes time to find our own motivators.
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    I can relate... I'm a big emotional eater. When I'm bored or stressed or upset or almost anything, really, I used to use it as an excuse to eat. I love food, I really do. I also used to think that food made me happy, but the more I reflect and think about myself and my relationship with food, I realize it DOESN'T make me happy. Yes, it nourishes me, but the comfort and happiness it provides is temporary and not true comfort/happiness. Often, when I would binge or eat an awful high-calorie meal, I would end up feeling horrible afterwards, but would tell myself that I enjoyed it. I use food to fill holes and patch things up - it's always there... but I'm slowly changing my relationship with food and learning to replace my un-healthy dependence on it with other things: reading, writing, talking with people. I'm far from perfect, but I'm trying to learn to re-program myself to reach not for food, but for other (more-healthy) alternatives.

    Realizing you have a problem is the first step to addressing that problem! It took courage to write what you wrote and I wish you luck in changing your own relationship with food. It can be done- it won't happen overnight but anything is possible with hard work, perseverance and a true desire to see change.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    I guess we're all very different, but I've found that the more I've got into really intense exercise the less I want or even like bad food.

    Recently I was having lunch with someone and the place has a particular lemon cake with rich icing that I used to love. Given it was such a rare event, I thought I'd have a piece and give the other person half.

    Within about three mouth-fulls I was almost vomiting. It seemed so rich and sweet it was inedible,and that was not a kind of flight of fancy in my mind. My taste buds have totally changed, and I can say quite honestly I often crave vegetables now. After the gym my body is simply craving nutrition, not junk.

    Also I think intense exercise flicks the "lifestyle" change switch. I don't want junk now because it simply is not "me" anymore. Whether I go to the gym or what I choose to eat are no longer emotional decisions (although I do love the gym) any more than whether I go to work is based on whether I feel like doing so. They're essential to my life.

    Not sure how relevant to you, but just my experience. But don't get down on yourself... it takes time to find our own motivators.
    I can totally relate, it's the coolest feeling when a workout is something that comes naturally and food we used to think we 'loved' is something we can't imagine eating now. Because like you shared our taste buds just like the rest of our bodies have changed so much:drinker:
  • softlyspoken68
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    Yes food...people...things...can be a drug...if you let it be.
    little bit of a saying though...to say would rather be on crack..
    take it from a crack addict enjoying 15 years of sobriety now
    that's a pretty harsh statement and until you've been one,
    might consider taking the food for what it is...
    it's nourishment for you
    everything can be eaten in moderation
    INcluding Mexican
    it's how you choose to enjoy it
    and not let it overcome you

    I wish you the best in this endeavor
    as with ANY drug
    the 1st key to overcoming is admitting it...
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    We eat to live, not live to eat..


    That is SOOOOooooo wrong for a lot of people. Looks good in writing, totally untrue in reality.

    Many of us, particularly on sites like this - really do live to eat. That's why we have such a battle with our weight (sensible or not - that's just how it is)
  • anij67
    anij67 Posts: 21
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    You are not alone by any means! I'm another one. Like olivegardenwaitress, I choose food for comfort. I need to learn to make healthy choices but don't know how. "Hello, my name is anij and I'm a foodaholic!" Help! I have an addiction and more than just that one. Nothing like drugs or alcohol but I have no self discipline, motivation or self control. I can't hold a job, I love to shop and spend way too much money. Even to the point a bill may not get paid because I went and spent money at Walmart or something. I don't spend 100's or go to expensive places but I love to buy something new once in a while. I have an addiction. Many addictions. I need help and don't know where to turn. Yes, I am a Christian and pray and read my Bible regularly. That should be enough right? I don't understand why I still have these problems. I'm a food addict! I want desperately to lose weight but I can't stop eating the wrong foods. I'm going to try that book too. Maybe it will help with my motivation. Thanks everyone.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    You are not alone by any means! I'm another one. Like olivegardenwaitress, I choose food for comfort. I need to learn to make healthy choices but don't know how. "Hello, my name is anij and I'm a foodaholic!" Help! I have an addiction and more than just that one. Nothing like drugs or alcohol but I have no self discipline, motivation or self control. I can't hold a job, I love to shop and spend way too much money. Even to the point a bill may not get paid because I went and spent money at Walmart or something. I don't spend 100's or go to expensive places but I love to buy something new once in a while. I have an addiction. Many addictions. I need help and don't know where to turn. Yes, I am a Christian and pray and read my Bible regularly. That should be enough right? I don't understand why I still have these problems. I'm a food addict! I want desperately to lose weight but I can't stop eating the wrong foods. I'm going to try that book too. Maybe it will help with my motivation. Thanks everyone.
    I used to do that with money, same as you, it wasn't large amounts, just buying things that were new. The crazy part was the high was buying them for me, not keeping them. lol I saved the receipt and took them back. YAY money in my hand. I liked feeling like I had money, crazy huh? This would happen twice a week after seeing my therapist, I'd go to the dollar store, not needing anything, or any other type of store, it could be practical things, or things I actually thought I needed at the time but I didn't have money for it but bought it anyway (no cc's, I've never been a cc girl, always cash/check). Each time returning the items by the next session. It served some purpose, filled some need, it too was mixed in with the addictive part of my personality.

    After changing my food habits, the spending all fell into place and that stopped, from time to time I buy something and change my mind on and return it, but it's not like in the past. This is actually changing my mind not the high of buying then returning.

    One addiction seems to feed off another with addicts, seems addicts don't typically have only one. Other addicts quit one behavior only to switch the addiction over to another.

    Cleaning, guess that's my new one and I'm not sure it's an addiction as much as a new coping skill, as I used to be a total clean freak so I do know the diff. :::shrugs:::

    MFP is a good place for us all, gleening bits of knowledge from one anothers experiences.
  • softlyspoken68
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    yes WELL said...one addict feeds into another...from drugs; alcohol; smoking; lying; cheating; spending...
    whatever your drug of choice
    one thing we all have in common
    food
    good thing is
    we can learn from one another
    and truly each day i choose to eat healthier
    i choose daily to NOT overeat
    i choose daily proportions....
    daily....
    and while some days it can be hard
    thank the Lord some days seems easier....
    i truly am blessed to have found MFP