food is a drug to me, would rather be on crack, at least i c
RhiannaGonnaBeSoHot
Posts: 17
Food is my source of comfort, joy, and my reason to wake up in the morning. Sad, isn't it? I hate myself for overeating, and yet it brings me so much happiness at the same time. And now, here it is only mid-afternoon, and I'm well over my calorie limit. I keep making all these exceptions, and yet they are the rule. Like going out to eat (mexican food).
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We eat to live, not live to eat..0
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I recommend a book called "When Food is Love" and/or "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. They are amazing and have completely changed the way I look at and relate to food.
Best of luck on your journey, you CAN do this, and we are all here to help each other!!0 -
easier said than done, my friend... Just like lateral stripes aren't flattering but you wear them anyway... case in point.0
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It takes time... I don't recommend any books because I didn't have any on my journey. I just had to learn it all on my own and I'm proud to say that. I like to think I'm stronger because of it - not stronger than someone else, just stronger than I could be just because of my personality type. I made gradual changes to my lifestyle instead of changing everything all at once and that really helped me. I slowly started seeing the results I wanted just from making small changes and that made me want to make more changes. I still have to think twice when I order a drink at a restaurant because I'm used to saying "Dr Pepper" and now I drink water. When I drink a Dr Pepper, it burns my throat. After awhile, I get the taste I used to love but at first, it doesn't really appeal to me... so why I keep drinking it, I have no clue. Junk food doesn't treat me the same way it used to because my body is now accustomed to the healthy lifestyle... and this has really helped me.
YOUR BODY will help you in your journey. It gets used to whatever you do to it and it's protesting now, which is why you're still craving the old stuff. Stay strong and try to just work on portions, then work on quality of food, then drinking more water, then less fast food, more exercise, etc. Take it easy and you should be able to stick with it easier. Good luck!0 -
It takes a lot of courage to admit what you wrote, and just saying it out loud can help you change your eating habits. I love MFP because it lets you see what you eat in black & white so you can be accountable.
Can I make a few suggestions based on your food diary? You are eating a lot of carbs, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they won't fill you up. The bagel & cream cheese and the muffin won't fill you and you'll end up over-eating. Try to eat some protein or complex carbs for breakfast, like an egg white omelet with fruit on the side or a whole grain cereal topped with fruit. Snack on a serving of almonds or a greek yogurt to get you through to the next meal. Baby carrots and hummus always help tide me over too. I also like green tea to curb my appetite.
Don't think that you can't eat something like Mexican food when you're trying to lose weight. I've lost 60 lbs since January and I have not felt deprived at ALL because I don't consider anything to be completely off-limits. We'll have Mexican food, but I use salsa instead of cheese for flavor and skip all the tortillas. Just have 1 and eat extra grilled chicken or vegetables with it. Skip the rice. Eat some of the tortilla chips, but eat only 1 serving. Moderation is key.
I do agree 100% with the eat to live not live to eat philosophy, but I do think that with a little bit of tweaking, you can accommodate the foods that you like into a healthy lifestyle.
Good luck! You can do it!0 -
I have often thought the same thing. I used to wish to be an alcoholic rather then a food addict. You can stay away from alcohol or drugs but you HAVE to have food.
However, there are so many healthy foods I have food that are just as comforting as the high calorie, unhealthy foods. You must find the alternatives that will keep you satisfied. You will find them.0 -
I too am a food addict, it's what got me here and as mentioned above unlike alcohol or drugs you need food to survive! It will always be in your life and what is important is finding WHAT causes you to turn to food? It may not be a black or white answer and it might take a lot of time to figure it out, but it's important that you do so you can find your triggers and overcome this addiction. Acknowledging the problem is the first step. Get a GREAT support system and lean on them when you are feeling down. Good luck!0
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I recommend the same book "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. I'm reading it and it's totally changed my outlook on food!0
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easier said than done, my friend... Just like lateral stripes aren't flattering but you wear them anyway... case in point.
I think she was trying to help you....and is right...don't ever wish to do down the drugs road.....that is much nastier than being addicted to food.
I wish you well on your journey xxx0 -
But the drugs and alchol don't go anywhere for recovering addicts, they are still out there just like junk food is for us. We all just learn to make healthier, wiser decisions in life. We decide what we want our lives to reflect. I've heard that a number of times, "I'd rather be a crack-addict", whoa.........no you wouldn't! Seeing how they live is not pleasant, yes when someone stops drinking or using a substance that's a very good thing if it's effecting their lives in a negative way.
But the substances never go anywhere, they could always be found if someone really 'wanted' to find them, I think that's what many of forget. Yes, you don't have to do drugs or drink, but it doesn't fail to exist in the world, just because a person quits it Just as we could chose to again eat a box of twinkies, a substance abuser could also choose again to use a pipe. No addiction is better or worse than another, when we feel out of control that's not a pleasant place to be.
An addiction is an addiction, something we feel out of control in our life over.
I used to feel out of control with food, the more I ate healthy food, the more in control I felt, the less I craved crappy food.
I can honesty say food has NEVER make me happy, it's covered feelings and made me numb but certainly never made me happy.
I prefer feeling what I'm feeling not that it's always terrific but eating doesn't change the facts, life is still what it is after the food hangover.
Good luck finding your way, and you WILL if you stick around MFP
:flowerforyou: 0 -
I highly recommend any Geneen Roth books, she speaks from her own experience and shares so many lessons on learning to leave addictions behind. Great book discussion going on MFP right now with her new book!I recommend the same book "Women, Food & God" both by Geneen Roth. I'm reading it and it's totally changed my outlook on food!0 -
:bigsmile: I feel ya.. I LOVE food to and I LOVE chocolate.. but what worked for me may or may not help you... This is what I reccomend.. You can still eat what you like, just change the way they are prepared.. I noticed you drink 2% MIlk.. try skim..less calories... Also bagels.. they now have 100 calorie bagels and light cream cheese... Fat free sour cream, 2% cheese instead of full fat cheese, Light bread instead of regulr bread (also reccomend it be Whole grain) just a few differences can make a world of differnce.. YOU are NOT ALONE in this journey... MFP has many supportors and many suggestions for food alternatives and recipies...
I WISH you the best of luck on your journey.. and as everyone else has said... Turning to crack or alcohol is not the answer...0 -
I guess we're all very different, but I've found that the more I've got into really intense exercise the less I want or even like bad food.
Recently I was having lunch with someone and the place has a particular lemon cake with rich icing that I used to love. Given it was such a rare event, I thought I'd have a piece and give the other person half.
Within about three mouth-fulls I was almost vomiting. It seemed so rich and sweet it was inedible,and that was not a kind of flight of fancy in my mind. My taste buds have totally changed, and I can say quite honestly I often crave vegetables now. After the gym my body is simply craving nutrition, not junk.
Also I think intense exercise flicks the "lifestyle" change switch. I don't want junk now because it simply is not "me" anymore. Whether I go to the gym or what I choose to eat are no longer emotional decisions (although I do love the gym) any more than whether I go to work is based on whether I feel like doing so. They're essential to my life.
Not sure how relevant to you, but just my experience. But don't get down on yourself... it takes time to find our own motivators.0 -
I can relate... I'm a big emotional eater. When I'm bored or stressed or upset or almost anything, really, I used to use it as an excuse to eat. I love food, I really do. I also used to think that food made me happy, but the more I reflect and think about myself and my relationship with food, I realize it DOESN'T make me happy. Yes, it nourishes me, but the comfort and happiness it provides is temporary and not true comfort/happiness. Often, when I would binge or eat an awful high-calorie meal, I would end up feeling horrible afterwards, but would tell myself that I enjoyed it. I use food to fill holes and patch things up - it's always there... but I'm slowly changing my relationship with food and learning to replace my un-healthy dependence on it with other things: reading, writing, talking with people. I'm far from perfect, but I'm trying to learn to re-program myself to reach not for food, but for other (more-healthy) alternatives.
Realizing you have a problem is the first step to addressing that problem! It took courage to write what you wrote and I wish you luck in changing your own relationship with food. It can be done- it won't happen overnight but anything is possible with hard work, perseverance and a true desire to see change.0 -
I can totally relate, it's the coolest feeling when a workout is something that comes naturally and food we used to think we 'loved' is something we can't imagine eating now. Because like you shared our taste buds just like the rest of our bodies have changed so much:drinker:I guess we're all very different, but I've found that the more I've got into really intense exercise the less I want or even like bad food.
Recently I was having lunch with someone and the place has a particular lemon cake with rich icing that I used to love. Given it was such a rare event, I thought I'd have a piece and give the other person half.
Within about three mouth-fulls I was almost vomiting. It seemed so rich and sweet it was inedible,and that was not a kind of flight of fancy in my mind. My taste buds have totally changed, and I can say quite honestly I often crave vegetables now. After the gym my body is simply craving nutrition, not junk.
Also I think intense exercise flicks the "lifestyle" change switch. I don't want junk now because it simply is not "me" anymore. Whether I go to the gym or what I choose to eat are no longer emotional decisions (although I do love the gym) any more than whether I go to work is based on whether I feel like doing so. They're essential to my life.
Not sure how relevant to you, but just my experience. But don't get down on yourself... it takes time to find our own motivators.0 -
Yes food...people...things...can be a drug...if you let it be.
little bit of a saying though...to say would rather be on crack..
take it from a crack addict enjoying 15 years of sobriety now
that's a pretty harsh statement and until you've been one,
might consider taking the food for what it is...
it's nourishment for you
everything can be eaten in moderation
INcluding Mexican
it's how you choose to enjoy it
and not let it overcome you
I wish you the best in this endeavor
as with ANY drug
the 1st key to overcoming is admitting it...0 -
We eat to live, not live to eat..
That is SOOOOooooo wrong for a lot of people. Looks good in writing, totally untrue in reality.
Many of us, particularly on sites like this - really do live to eat. That's why we have such a battle with our weight (sensible or not - that's just how it is)0 -
You are not alone by any means! I'm another one. Like olivegardenwaitress, I choose food for comfort. I need to learn to make healthy choices but don't know how. "Hello, my name is anij and I'm a foodaholic!" Help! I have an addiction and more than just that one. Nothing like drugs or alcohol but I have no self discipline, motivation or self control. I can't hold a job, I love to shop and spend way too much money. Even to the point a bill may not get paid because I went and spent money at Walmart or something. I don't spend 100's or go to expensive places but I love to buy something new once in a while. I have an addiction. Many addictions. I need help and don't know where to turn. Yes, I am a Christian and pray and read my Bible regularly. That should be enough right? I don't understand why I still have these problems. I'm a food addict! I want desperately to lose weight but I can't stop eating the wrong foods. I'm going to try that book too. Maybe it will help with my motivation. Thanks everyone.0
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I used to do that with money, same as you, it wasn't large amounts, just buying things that were new. The crazy part was the high was buying them for me, not keeping them. lol I saved the receipt and took them back. YAY money in my hand. I liked feeling like I had money, crazy huh? This would happen twice a week after seeing my therapist, I'd go to the dollar store, not needing anything, or any other type of store, it could be practical things, or things I actually thought I needed at the time but I didn't have money for it but bought it anyway (no cc's, I've never been a cc girl, always cash/check). Each time returning the items by the next session. It served some purpose, filled some need, it too was mixed in with the addictive part of my personality.You are not alone by any means! I'm another one. Like olivegardenwaitress, I choose food for comfort. I need to learn to make healthy choices but don't know how. "Hello, my name is anij and I'm a foodaholic!" Help! I have an addiction and more than just that one. Nothing like drugs or alcohol but I have no self discipline, motivation or self control. I can't hold a job, I love to shop and spend way too much money. Even to the point a bill may not get paid because I went and spent money at Walmart or something. I don't spend 100's or go to expensive places but I love to buy something new once in a while. I have an addiction. Many addictions. I need help and don't know where to turn. Yes, I am a Christian and pray and read my Bible regularly. That should be enough right? I don't understand why I still have these problems. I'm a food addict! I want desperately to lose weight but I can't stop eating the wrong foods. I'm going to try that book too. Maybe it will help with my motivation. Thanks everyone.
After changing my food habits, the spending all fell into place and that stopped, from time to time I buy something and change my mind on and return it, but it's not like in the past. This is actually changing my mind not the high of buying then returning.
One addiction seems to feed off another with addicts, seems addicts don't typically have only one. Other addicts quit one behavior only to switch the addiction over to another.
Cleaning, guess that's my new one and I'm not sure it's an addiction as much as a new coping skill, as I used to be a total clean freak so I do know the diff. :::shrugs:::
MFP is a good place for us all, gleening bits of knowledge from one anothers experiences.0 -
yes WELL said...one addict feeds into another...from drugs; alcohol; smoking; lying; cheating; spending...
whatever your drug of choice
one thing we all have in common
food
good thing is
we can learn from one another
and truly each day i choose to eat healthier
i choose daily to NOT overeat
i choose daily proportions....
daily....
and while some days it can be hard
thank the Lord some days seems easier....
i truly am blessed to have found MFP0 -
You can still be the addict if you are willing to pay the price. I try to think of everything I eat or drink in the terms of exercise. If I want to have a beer . . it will cost me a mile on the elliptical. If I want a 6 pack then I better be willing to do the 6 miles plus what I need to to meet my calorie goals. I used to be the guy who drank what I wanted to, ate what I wanted to,and didn't exercise. I have now linked all of them in my mind. If I want to eat more or drink more then I make sure to exercise off the calories.0
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You can still be the addict if you are willing to pay the price. I try to think of everything I eat or drink in the terms of exercise. If I want to have a beer . . it will cost me a mile on the elliptical. If I want a 6 pack then I better be willing to do the 6 miles plus what I need to to meet my calorie goals. I used to be the guy who drank what I wanted to, ate what I wanted to,and didn't exercise. I have now linked all of them in my mind. If I want to eat more or drink more then I make sure to exercise off the calories.
Yup, spot on. We CAN decide which we want, and there's no universal law that governs that decision... it is our choice.
It's complex, takes a paradigm shift, but from my experience of dealing my own serious addictions (I have no idea how the hell I did not die as a consequence of alcoholism and to some extent drugs as a youth) including a stint in what was reputed to be one of the world's best treatment centres (local people who were not even addicts used to flock to a certain Drs lectures, they were so fascinating)...
...it's about the lop-sided role that emotions tend to play in the addict's life. Too hard to explain in a way, but... whether I feel crappy when I wake up tommorrow morning has zero relevance to anything (unless I am sick). Whether a co-worker is in a crappy mood is even less relevant, that's his problem. Whether I "love" my job is irrelevant in comparison to whether it is the best solution for my needs. Rampant lust may not be the best indicator of a marital partner. Emotions are just emotions, they come and go but are absolutely unreliable indicators of decision making. Of course feelings such as love, empathy, peace etc are a totally different thing. But fleeting emotions are... just stuff that inevitably comes and inevitably goes.
Simple huh? Not really, but I'm convinced (and an addiction expert would agree)... understanding the role of emotions is critical.0 -
I feel the same way! Food is a drug for me............I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad, any emotion you can think of, I eat! I find myself spending so much of my day thinking what I get to eat next. Its like my life revolves around food. Sometimes I choose not to go out with friends because I know that I don't have the willpower to say no to this or that. For those of you that can say you eat to live, that is great, but it is not that easy for everyone. I wish I could change my mindset, but so far along my journey I have not been able too. I have made a lot of small little changes that have really helped me, but everyday is a struggle. It is hard to live your life always having to think about food and not taking part in certain things because you are scared to "relapse". Good luck to you and I hope you can find the tricks to get through to meet your goals, and maybe one day for both of us we can say that we eat to live instead!0
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May I suggest something that has so far worked for me? Every night for the last week I have input into my diary what I am going to eat the following day and when I am going to est it. Pre-planning means that I don't panic about what to eat and then eat tons of food because I am panicked! If I really fancy steak and chips and it falls outside of my calorie allowance, I know beforehand that I will have to go to the gym that day and if I can't go to the gym, I can't have the steak. Like I said, I have only tried it for a week but I get the feeling that removing the constant thoughts about what I am going to eat and removing the need to continuously make decisions all day about what to eat is helping me and might help you too. All the best xxx0
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Seeing it in black and white has made a hugeeee difference for me... the other thing to think about is... when you want to make that exception its ok.. just work out extra to get the extra calories for that special something. The other thing I do is when I am going out to eat... I use the website the daily plate and look up the calories for the restaurant I am going to and pick what I am going to order before I even step foot in the restaurant.. that helps me keep control of what I would normally eat.. and most of the time I don't even have to look at the menu to keep from tempation... and if for some reason that restuarant isn't there (however most of the chains are) then I work with what I know.. grilled chicken, salad.. I ask alot of questions about how they cook stuff... it didn't take you overnight to get where you are with your attitude about food... and it won't happen overnight to change it.. you can do it... just stay strong and make small changes0
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