Grief Eating

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tearianna
tearianna Posts: 7
in Motivation and Support
Hi! I'm pretty new here. Last year, around this time, my father died very unexpectedly. For weeks after the funeral, friends and neighbors would stop by with warm wishes and lots and lots and LOTS of comfort food. That's when I seem to have discovered grief eating. I was in the 7th month of my pregnancy, to boot, and I blamed any gained weight on that.

Well, here I am, almost a full year later. The weight is still on (plus some), and every time I get sad, I still want to indulge in chocolate chip cookies and macaroni and cheese. Today is especially hard because last 4th of July was the last time I saw my dad healthy. All I want to do is curl up on the couch in front of the TV and eat everything in my kitchen. I even found myself eyeballling an old tub of icecream that is so freezer-burned that I can hardly tell what flavor it is.

I really don't know how to deal with this. The craving for junk food is so strong that I feel like someone has taken over my body and I don't have full control of it anymore.

I guess I just wonder if anyone else has this problem, and if you have any tricks for overcoming the urge to eat everything in sight.

Replies

  • natspoiledbrat
    natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
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    I am pretty much in the same position as you. I seem to do well and then something bad happens and I turn to food to make me feel better. As of late March, I had lost 60 lbs. On April 6th, my best friend was killed and I seemed to find so much comfort in food. Within 2 months, I gained about 10 lbs. So my weight loss ended up only being 50lbs. I have been able to lose a couple more, but I have a hard time during holidays because I miss the way all the holidays used to be (with Grandparents lost over the past 10 years). Its amazing how when someone passes, your life changes dramatically! I so far don't have any tricks to overcome these urges, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.
  • tammyhoff2004
    tammyhoff2004 Posts: 89
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    I find myself doing that sometimes. Lately, since 've been doing this program, I've been good about walking away from the kitchen, knowing that I have people on here that can look at my food diary and see what I'm posting. You gotta be honest with yourself. It's not going to do any one any good by you not putting in your food diary especially you. Remember, you are doing this for you and your family. If you aren't taking care of yourself, you can't take care of your family. Lastly, your daddy wouldn't want you to be this way. He wouldn't want you grieving in that manner. He wants to look down and know that you miss your good times with him but he'll be sad if he sees you sad. I lost my daddy 8 years ago last month, right after Father's Day. It was so hard cuz he was only 52 and although we knew he'd be going soon, we also knew that we had been on borrowed time for 7 years before he died. He had his first massive heart attack at 41. I miss him and my kids miss him although they were still kind of little when he passed. I pray about it every time I start to feel like I could go on a binge and just try to indulge myself in something outdoors like yard work or go for a walk or even clean. I know it sounds crazy but you can do it. God will help you. Good luck to you!! :happy:
  • melodieRN
    melodieRN Posts: 49
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    Emotional eating due to stress can be an overwhelming power. It is almost like being an addict and when stress hits we just need a fix to get us over our struggle. At first it seems like it works but then the guilt sets in and we eat even more which just piles more and more guilt and calories on. It can be very hard to overcome, but you can do it. I have been an emotional eater for years due to a stress ful job and i have to battle it daily. There are so many more rewards staying away from the bad foods. Next time you feel stressed step away from the food, drink water, go for a walk anything to get your mind off of it. Find another activity that may help you dela with the stress, you can do this. You are certainly not alone, there are thousands probally alot m ore of people that suffer from emotional eating than you can imagine. there is an organization that deals with the extreme overeaters anomy. By the way so sorry about your dad, this is rough. Make him proud of the woman you have become and the wonderful mom you are. the best thing you can do is become healthy for your children.
  • katie30
    katie30 Posts: 55
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    That old tradition of bringing grieving loved one lots and lots of comfort food is well meant, but should be banned!

    Anyways, I'm sorry you are going through an emotional down time. As the others have said, there are tons of us out there that do the exact same thing. Temporary depression is a horrible thing.

    The first thing I do when I sense myself starting one of these is to clean out your fridge, freezer, and pantry. Get rid of everything that shouldn't be there (outdated, not part of the diet, unidentifiable, etc). You can't get rid of it all (especially with kids), but definitely a good sort is healthy.

    Next, I create a list of my prime cravings (these change based on the season). I create an exchange and a reward to go with each food craving.
    Example:
    Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream

    Exchange:
    20 minute walk with the dog

    Reward:
    non-fat vanilla yogurt with dark chocolate chips

    When you get the craving you do the exchange. If you complete the exchange you get the reward. Give yourself rewards that will meet the flavor profile you are craving. Like, Lasagna == turkey meatballs with whole grain pasta. The reward can even be a small portion of what you are craving, if you can control the portion. The exchange is always an exercise. Why? Exercise is a great stress reliever!
  • softlyspoken68
    softlyspoken68 Posts: 78
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    my sweet mama passed 5 years ago....when she passed, i gained well over 50 lbs which eventually i did take off, however...the grief eating beat the heck out of me......just this year alone...i just realized my family needs me at my best and i haven't been...even when i lost that weight, i started gaining, losing...gaining losing...it wasn't until i decided i was losing it but it wasn't about dieting anymore....i love MFP and the encouragement here. YOU can do this.
  • elmct57
    elmct57 Posts: 594 Member
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    depression and grief are classic triggers. you needed to grieve and nurturing yourself is not a bad thing at such a time.
    after my mom died, I found the distracting and the serotonin-boosting effects of exercise to be very helpful instead of wanting to comfort eat continually. Doing things I had to concentrate on and be present for was particularly helpful. i would go for walks and get lost, literally, so i had to focus on finding my way back home. you have to make a conscious choice and keep repeating it to break old habits and form new ones and i wish you all the best--you've identified what's wrong and are aware of it. that's a huge first step. i went to grief counselling and found it helped a bit also.
  • tearianna
    tearianna Posts: 7
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    Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. I am pretty much a gym rat, and I know how great exercise makes me feel. But days like yesterday, just making it off the couch seemed impossible. Granted, I did manage to make it off long enough to mix up that cookie dough ... go figure.
  • natspoiledbrat
    natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
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    That old tradition of bringing grieving loved one lots and lots of comfort food is well meant, but should be banned!

    Anyways, I'm sorry you are going through an emotional down time. As the others have said, there are tons of us out there that do the exact same thing. Temporary depression is a horrible thing.

    The first thing I do when I sense myself starting one of these is to clean out your fridge, freezer, and pantry. Get rid of everything that shouldn't be there (outdated, not part of the diet, unidentifiable, etc). You can't get rid of it all (especially with kids), but definitely a good sort is healthy.

    Next, I create a list of my prime cravings (these change based on the season). I create an exchange and a reward to go with each food craving.
    Example:
    Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream

    Exchange:
    20 minute walk with the dog

    Reward:
    non-fat vanilla yogurt with dark chocolate chips

    When you get the craving you do the exchange. If you complete the exchange you get the reward. Give yourself rewards that will meet the flavor profile you are craving. Like, Lasagna == turkey meatballs with whole grain pasta. The reward can even be a small portion of what you are craving, if you can control the portion. The exchange is always an exercise. Why? Exercise is a great stress reliever!

    What a great idea! I'm gonna use this!
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    I'm sorry you feel bad. It must be impossibly hard mourning the loss of a parent.

    I'm definitely an emotional eater. Things lately have felt like they're falling apart so I immediately reach for the snacks to hold it together!

    Although I need to practice what I preach in this instance...MAKE YOURSELF go to the gym. The hardest part is getting up off the couch and out the door. Once you get to the gym, you'll find the willpower you've been searching for.

    GOOD LUCK. :flowerforyou:
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
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    i am sorry for your loss. i lost my dad two months ago. finding the will to cook and eat healthy during grief is hard.
    dawn

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