Teenage daughter wants to "tone up"

My daughter (soon to be 14) says she wants to tone up. She is by no means overweight and doesn't need to actually lose weight. She is about 5'6" or so and weighs 113 (I think). She wears a size 0 in juniors. I want to support her efforts but I want to make sure we're not going down a slippery slope. She LOVES food so I'm not worried about her starving herself but I want to make sure we're doing this in a healthy way.

Any tips or suggestions I can give her? She really just wants to tighten up and tone. I know - what's there to tone on a 113 lbs size 0 body right??

I'm thinking maybe just some hand weights and body weight exercises. Maybe some light cardio here and there. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
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Replies

  • juliekins64
    juliekins64 Posts: 125 Member
    When I was that age I signed up for a kick boxing class for women a few blocks from my highschool.
    Loved it! Also, boxing. It can be very empowering for a girl to learn things like this plus she'll "tone up" as well.
    This was at a kickboxing/boxing place so the people there were athletic and not dieters, good role models to be around.

    While going to the gym is great she may be exposed to people with unhealthy ideals/ideas.
    I really think you should find a fun fitness activitiy, exposure to the desperation of the fat loss/fitness industry can cause problems where there were none before. That's just my opinion as slim teen with obese mom back in the day.
  • schnarfo
    schnarfo Posts: 764 Member
    Why don't you try a class together like Zumba or body combat?
  • My daughter (soon to be 14) says she wants to tone up. She is by no means overweight and doesn't need to actually lose weight. She is about 5'6" or so and weighs 113 (I think). She wears a size 0 in juniors. I want to support her efforts but I want to make sure we're not going down a slippery slope. She LOVES food so I'm not worried about her starving herself but I want to make sure we're doing this in a healthy way.

    Any tips or suggestions I can give her? She really just wants to tighten up and tone. I know - what's there to tone on a 113 lbs size 0 body right??

    I'm thinking maybe just some hand weights and body weight exercises. Maybe some light cardio here and there. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!!

    Why not go to the gym together then you can monitor and support a healthy exercise regime. I think I would be talking to her more about fitness maybe rather than anything else because you can the slim but unfit. If it's a no about the gym what about school sports etc? They would be my thoughts anyway.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    My advice is get a Jillian Michaels video that both of you can do. 30 day Shred will "tone her up" in no time.

    5-8 pound dumbbells to do combination moves with would help too. At 14 I'm not sure if a gym membership is worth it.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.
  • StephanieCo3
    StephanieCo3 Posts: 122 Member
    My sister is 12 and about the size of your daughter. She and my mom do insanity together several times a week. Though my sister tends to lose interest and then go back. When I was that age, I started running 6 miles a day in preparation for high school sports (cross country and soccer). I think just finding an interest you both have and doing it together to be healthy.
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    You should teach her about fitness and nutrition now. So she will be ahead of the curve when she is older. Just saying that she doesn't need to lose any weight and you are worried that if she doesn't exercise she will be on a slippery slope is absurd. The only slippery slope she will be on is the slope to obesity.
    Any tips or suggestions I can give her? She really just wants to tighten up and tone. I know - what's there to tone on a 113 lbs size 0 body right??

    Right just wait until she is obese. Thanks mom
  • Thanks for the suggestions so far.

    Not sure a gym membership is feasible (both time and budget). I do have JM 30 day shred DVD so that one is definitely an option. EEEK!! I did this once and loved the results but it was havoc on my knees by the end.

    I have a couple light hand weights (3 and 5 lbs) but can always go grab some slightly heavier ones.

    I will definitely also look into some local classes and see what's available.
  • rekite2000
    rekite2000 Posts: 218 Member
    I think this such a great window of opportunity. You can teach her true health versus starving/exercise cycle. You can teach about fueling workouts with more calories. I can't wait to teach my kids about the science of food. I don't know any parents that teach their kids about all of this. I have read that over half of teen girls are on diets. They are learning from each other and online- you have a chance to give her real information. Plus, you can teach her not to be scared of gyms and weights. I did weights at that age for swim team.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    can you get her into any sports at school? swimming, track, soccer? i mean, it's a great free way to exercise.
  • You should teach her about fitness and nutrition now. So she will be ahead of the curve when she is older. Just saying that she doesn't need to lose any weight and you are worried that if she doesn't exercise she will be on a slippery slope is absurd. The only slippery slope she will be on is the slope to obesity.
    Any tips or suggestions I can give her? She really just wants to tighten up and tone. I know - what's there to tone on a 113 lbs size 0 body right??

    Right just wait until she is obese. Thanks mom

    I think you misunderstood my comment. By slippery slope I meant that I didn't want her going in the direction of feeling like she needed to be super skinny and lose a lot of weight. I never said that she didn't need to exercise. I never said that I didn't want her to be healthy. I said that she didn't need to lose actual weight. She is healthy and right where she should be for weight (according to growth charts). In today's society it's easy for young girls to get caught up in Hollywood's ideal image of super skinny females. I want her to be healthy but I don't want her to feel like she needs to be super skinny to be beautiful or well liked.

    And I am trying to talk to her about health and fitness now - hence the post. I was merely trying to get some ideas that were age and goal appropriate.
  • Cajunmalakai
    Cajunmalakai Posts: 59 Member
    First off, "toning" is basically a fitness urban legend. It's muscle growth, plain and simple. I say this because the pursuit of toning can lead to all kinds of incorrect assumptions, flawed exercising methods and all sorts of other problems.

    That being said, exercise is always, ALWAYS a great lifestyle change, but your concerns are not without merit. There are indeed some people who can turn exercise and diet into a fixation and it can lead to other issues. However, these people are not typical of the fitness community or lifestyle, and often have other underlying psychological issues.

    In any case they key is education. Learning as much about exercise and fitness as you can is most certainly something you and your daughter can do together and you can help steer her in the proper direction.
    Being fit and healthy is a lifestyle. It's not about packing on muscle, or losing lbs or becoming stronger. Those things happen, but they are the results not the purpose.

    The purpose is to lead lead the healthiest life, with the fittest body possible.
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    I think you misunderstood my comment. By slippery slope I meant that I didn't want her going in the direction of feeling like she needed to be super skinny and lose a lot of weight. I never said that she didn't need to exercise. I never said that I didn't want her to be healthy. I said that she didn't need to lose actual weight. She is healthy and right where she should be for weight (according to growth charts). In today's society it's easy for young girls to get caught up in Hollywood's ideal image of super skinny females. I want her to be healthy but I don't want her to feel like she needs to be super skinny to be beautiful or well liked.

    I understood exactly what you meant. I just wanted to point out the alternative.
  • hifromjamers1984
    hifromjamers1984 Posts: 300 Member
    Kettle bells are a great option too. I love them and you burn a "ton" of calories doing a kettle bell work out. Pinterest has a lot of great options workout wise too. Getting outside and kicking a soccer ball is what I'm itching to do but it's been raining the last 2 days.
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
    Great opportunity to encourage fitness. A size zero still needs exercise and "toning" (as in strength). A lot of gyms have rules regarding kids under 14 joining, but I'd find a fun class for her to join, team sports, etc. Encourage fitness for fun as well as exercise and hopefully she'll create healthy fitness habits for life.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Don't confuse toning up to mean losing wieght. The two are completely different. Thus the reason why you can have someone her height and weight wearing a size 4. You can tone and maintain the same weight. Toning could mean just flattening her belly a bit or adding definition to her arms.

    That being said, I think you should encourage her with a watchfull eye, making sure she doesn't take it to extreme measures and cross over into a dangerous area. YMCAs usually have a teen weight lifting class where they are taught about exercise and stuff and then get to use the equipment in the gym (parents have to be on sight until age 16), I would suggest looking into it.
  • Something like martial arts would be pretty cool, IMO. I would have been all over that if my mom had given me the option at 14 (but I'm also what they call "different" so just because I would have liked it doesn't necessarily mean your daughter will).
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Teach her to do things and achieve fitness activties that will tone her up.

    My 4 girls are learning a variety of things that they are choosing that include long distance biking, hiking, climbing, sky diving, swimmming lakes, rivers and oceans, trail running to a distance (and not just as a cardio activity), caving, parkour (not a success, honestly), rugby and dance. They are sometimes jealous of some of my expedition level activity and they train to be invited and do things with me.

    Exercise for exercise sake and esthetics is great by itself but if you teach them that the world is their oyster and fitness is the key that open its, you take take them to the next level and for life.

    Consider ball sports, contact self defense, gymnastics, circus, etc...
  • As far as school sports, let's just say she's not sports inclined and is somewhat of a klutz. She does enjoy swimming and the swim team is always an option but she doesn't start high school until the fall and middle schools around here do not have team/school sports.

    I could look into the local swim centers for options until then.

    I do appreciate your suggestions. I will be looking into local classes like Zumba and kickboxing and such. Wonder if she would be down with the martial arts thing... Thanks again.
  • My daughters 14, 118 lbs, 5ft 9 maybe 10 now. That being said shes very tall and very thin. I really wish shed bulk up but she has her Dads metabolism. She eats just doesnt put it on.
    Shes in track so she runs alot and its actually helped put some shape into her board thin figure. Shes building muscle. She also does minor weight lifting at the local Y and does the treadmill there so she can set a resistance to push her muscles a little harder.
    I would say if anyone is looking for any kind of muscle toning anything with weights is the place to start.
  • Angelsrose12
    Angelsrose12 Posts: 37 Member
    Swimming is a great way to tone up! If you look, there are lots of places that offer swim and swim lessons. Sometimes you can get a fitness membership that only includes the pool. I also like the idea from other posters about some sort of martial arts. Finally, the Chalean is a great DVD if you are looking to go that route. I use her tapes and have had great success in toning up :)
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.

    Is that safe!!! Surely her bones are still developing.
  • Tachyonic
    Tachyonic Posts: 64 Member
    113, 5'6" is really small, but don't forget that weight does not equal level of physical fitness! I have a friend who is 5'8" and close to 200 pounds who has a higher endurance and more muscle mass than my 5'8" 120 pound friend. The 120-pound friend can barely jog half a mile, even though she's really thin.

    That being said, at age 14, I can only imagine that she is feeling insecure about her body... it happens to everyone. Like everyone else here said, I think that you should take an active role in her fitness. Perhaps go over the options for signing her up for sports that put her in a group setting with a responsible coach. Volleyball, swimming, softball/baseball, gymnastics, martial arts, basketball, or dance all sound like sports easily accessible for teens and would probably be offered by her high school. As a plus, if she thinks about college in the future... they're another activity to add to her list of extra-curriculars on college apps!

    If she isn't interested in sports, consider signing up for a gym (I know that they offer free gym memberships at community centers as long as you're in the district/neighborhood where I live) with her. If you have the money or really want to make sure she's training correctly, perhaps think about signing her up for a few sessions with a personal trainer. Nothing too serious... I would interview a couple of them before choosing the correct one... but it might be a way to get her on a routine that would emphasize building muscle in a healthy way, and would give her someone to talk to about her goals that can make sure that they're safe and reasonable.

    Since I was 14 years old a little less than ten years ago, I can remember that it was hard to be at-peace with my body, but it was even harder to stick to an exercise routine that was consistent! If she's really serious about this, you need to make sure she's doing it the right way. If it turns out that she's not so serious about it (which is a definite possibility), she will taper off in a few weeks and you won't have much to worry about.
  • Syriene
    Syriene Posts: 238
    At her age I was doing martial arts. It was great for toning and endurance and also gets some self- defense education mixed in (hopefully, she never needs it). I have always found kettle bell workouts to be fun too. Variety is always good to keep her from getting bored and quitting.
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
    My daughter (soon to be 14) says she wants to tone up. She is by no means overweight and doesn't need to actually lose weight. She is about 5'6" or so and weighs 113 (I think). She wears a size 0 in juniors. I want to support her efforts but I want to make sure we're not going down a slippery slope. She LOVES food so I'm not worried about her starving herself but I want to make sure we're doing this in a healthy way.

    Any tips or suggestions I can give her? She really just wants to tighten up and tone. I know - what's there to tone on a 113 lbs size 0 body right??

    I'm thinking maybe just some hand weights and body weight exercises. Maybe some light cardio here and there. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
    Have her do weight training and start taking protein shakes.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.

    Is that safe!!! Surely her bones are still developing.

    I'm confused by this question...care to elaborate?

    Weight training actually helps to increase bone density, which is why it's an excellent thing for women to do at any age...and unfortunately that so many women shy away from it in fear of "bulking up". Knowing this mother is a heavy weight lifter, I would assume she eats plenty of calories with a good macro balance and has her daughter do the same.
  • michellelemorgan
    michellelemorgan Posts: 184 Member
    My daughter is 6 and I encourage her to work out with me when I'm stretching doing push-ups etc. Not because she needs to lose weight, she's perfect of course, but because I want her to know that being fit and healthy is much more attractive than being holocaust thin and unhealthy like fashion magazines portray.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.

    Is that safe!!! Surely her bones are still developing.

    I'm confused by this question...care to elaborate?

    Weight training actually helps to increase bone density, which is why it's an excellent thing for women to do at any age...and unfortunately that so many women shy away from it in fear of "bulking up". Knowing this mother is a heavy weight lifter, I would assume she eats plenty of calories with a good macro balance and has her daughter do the same.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.

    Is that safe!!! Surely her bones are still developing.

    I'm confused by this question...care to elaborate?

    Weight training actually helps to increase bone density, which is why it's an excellent thing for women to do at any age...and unfortunately that so many women shy away from it in fear of "bulking up". Knowing this mother is a heavy weight lifter, I would assume she eats plenty of calories with a good macro balance and has her daughter do the same.

    I might be wrong but I thought heavy weights could cause muscle to pull on growing bone plates. Nothing to do with bulking up. Just isnt the skeleton still being formed at that age?
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    M16yr old daughter lifts weights with me every morning.... and heavy ones too.

    But if you are not up for or into that, maybe some Cha Lean or Jillian Michaels Dvd's from walmart.

    Is that safe!!! Surely her bones are still developing.

    I'm confused by this question...care to elaborate?

    Weight training actually helps to increase bone density, which is why it's an excellent thing for women to do at any age...and unfortunately that so many women shy away from it in fear of "bulking up". Knowing this mother is a heavy weight lifter, I would assume she eats plenty of calories with a good macro balance and has her daughter do the same.

    I might be wrong but I thought heavy weights could cause muscle to pull on growing bone plates. Nothing to do with bulking up. Just isnt the skeleton still being formed at that age?

    Just googled it- I'm talking twaddle. Maybe I should have done that first::blushing: