What do you think I should do?

imagymrat
imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
in Chit-Chat
:laugh: :blushing: First off, I don't date, ever, with six kids I don't have the time. That and I don't get asked out.:laugh: My question is, I have a whole lot of males friends in the gym...I've never thought of dating a single one of them...but.....there's one in particular who I seem to be flirting with a whole heck of alot. I always thought of it as harmless, we joke around, spot each other, he takes some of my classes, makes sure I have water, he's a fantastic lifting partner. I was told by a gf that he's very interested in me but feels that I keep distance from him..kinda avoiding him in a romantic way..he's right, I do that, he's gorgeous, I'd be blind not to notice....I'm a little weirded out by it I think because I think of him as a really good friend, and the fact that he's only 28!! AAAACK! :noway: I can't date someone that much younger than me can I?? AHHHH I don't know what to do! He knows I don't want a relationship, but do miss the companionship...he actually knows all my secrets, i'm completely comfotable talking about anything with him, as he has been with me, which leads me back to this being very strange for me! I'm at a lost, I have no freaking idea what to do! It's a harmless day at a waterpark. but I feel that he should focus his attentions on younger women..not me, me? for real? :noway: , I don't want him wasting his time, and I don't want to find out if I could like him that way!!! AHHHHHHH I hate this....any thoughts??

Replies

  • nofeardiver
    nofeardiver Posts: 18
    You said it yourself you miss the companionship. I am not expert in relationships, but i would say go for it have fun. Tell him that you just want to have fun for a while, and aren't ready for a full time relationship. But would like to hang out once and a while. Or go full tilt and a the relationship. Obviously the attractions there between both of you... Go for it...

    O yeah whats a few years older, not much... dont worry about age....
  • KCmom
    KCmom Posts: 124
    It sounds like he's been great to get to know so far. My advise would be to see where it takes you!
    Don't let the age thing get in the way, as he's not all that much younger than you, really. I would bet you look younger than your chronological age anyway (not that that mid-30's is old anyway!! :wink: ) It's far more important to have good communication and chemistry than to not try, based on worrying about a few years difference in age!
    Just my 2 cents.

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  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
    There are a few couples in our area where the woman is 8 or more years older than their husbands and they seem to be doing great.
  • MColette
    MColette Posts: 62
    I think it really depends on what you want for yourself, do you want a serious relationship or a not so serious one?
    Based on what you want, you should evaluate the situation and see if he is ready for what you need, like if you decide to have a serious relationship, do you think he would handle well the responsability it is to have kids and how they will always come first in your life?
    Personally I prefer guys who are much older than me, they already now what they want. That's why I married my husband :)
    I once dated a yournger guy and it was a mess, he was still in school and I was already working, he liked pokemon! LOL
  • Halloweenmom2
    Halloweenmom2 Posts: 44
    Excuse me lady!! There is NOTHING wrong with you going out with a much younger guy, OLD guys go out with much younger women so WHY NOT US???

    Just because you are NOT interested in something ROMANTIC right now doesn't mean that YOU don't secretly wish for it? Maybe you've been through so much that you try to AVOID it? I can understand what you are saying and maybe what you are feeling but... talk to him, let him know that you are not (currently) interested in something too serious, but.. GO OUT with him, get to know him, HAVE fun, enjoy yourself, IF something does happen, or something is created off of this, THEN SO BE IT!!! It's about what makes you HAPPY, not about what the world thinks you should do.

    Enjoy :D
  • CarpeDiem10
    CarpeDiem10 Posts: 9
    .
  • victorianjewel
    victorianjewel Posts: 759
    I am 11 years older than my husband! We have been married for 4 years in September. It is absolutely the best relationship I have been in. Now, if this guy is the same age as one of your kids, that might be a little weird...just saying. I say go for it, he may be the best thing since sliced bread. It would be a shame to look back on this opportunity at happiness years from now with regret because you didn't take the chance.

    If it turns out that he still likes pokemon, or is entirely too immature for you then you will have had a great ride. He sounds like a great guy that you have lots in common with, I say do it!

    Cheers
    Emme
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
    You can listen to all of the advice but no one is you and no one is him. So there is no comparison. Is there chemistry, do you have things in common? Does he understand you have kids, have same religion etc? If you are looking for a relationship then ask yourself the big questions. If you are looking for a tentative friendship to see where things will go, then go out with him. The only way to get to know him is to go out with him and in time you could maybe answer those bigger questions if it leads you there. Right now, you are so entitiled to just have a life of your own and have some fun. Give the guy a chance. He may be "the One" or a loser. But you will never know if you don't go!!!!!!Good luck. No right answers in love.....:heart:
  • mommamills
    mommamills Posts: 437
    I would say go for it! Who knows.....like you said....a harmless day in the waterpark! You're already clearly compatible and you said yourself that you are extremely comfortable around him. He must already know (at least round about) how old you are and your "baggage" so there's no need to fret about that. You never know....sometimes (lots of times) the best relationships start with good friendships!!!! You should just both go into it with no expectations. I mean really.....you could go out and totally not feel anything! You may have that first kiss and then look at each other and laugh! But how will you know. Just have fun!!!!! Life is too short to spend it alone! Even if you end up just have a great friend that you feel totally yourself around and can go hang out with occasionally! You know......in places other than the gym!
  • Dive_Girl
    Dive_Girl Posts: 247 Member
    First of all, he's not THAT much younger than you. But I know whatcha mean for sure. Especially since you have little ones and they will be touched both good and bad by which ever decision you make. My advice to you is, life is long, take it very slow. Whether he turns out to be a good friend or more depends on time. With that said, having some kid free time is healthy and you should schedule some of that here and there in your life.
  • gillleeman
    gillleeman Posts: 397 Member
    Go with your gut instinct.
  • lreed
    lreed Posts: 348 Member
    Of course he wants to date you! You are fabulous, fit, funny, sexy. What man in his right mind wouldn't! :wink: What's wrong with a date?
    Sounds like you have common interests, sounds like he is personable, and knows a lot of your back story, :flowerforyou: sounds like he might almost be as fabulous as you, so maybe just maybe someone is good enough for you and that's why you are ACTUALLY contemplating it! Have fun, keep it light (I know it's hard to do that with kids, but try)
    8 years isn't that much. GO for it! :love: :love: Want to hear about it!:heart::heart:
  • imagymrat
    imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
    Update......I'm not going out with him :embarassed: , i'm an idiot, found out he has a "girl" on the side, and is still looking, she seems to be the "now" girl, i'm beyond playing games. (I don't have time for the BS) I can't believe I'm so stupid, I didn't see that one coming. I found out through a mutual friend, who freaked when she heard who it was I was going to say yes to...then she calmly informed me, that he's dating another girl from his other job..GRRRR, why do they LIE!!!!! I never had a clue, he's never led onto to the fact that he was seeing someone. I just came back from work and I asked him.."Hey Darryl, where's Kristin at??" he just about died, his look gave away the fact that she wasn't someone he was casually dating, he tried to explain, I put him in a choke hold, and wouldn't let him go until he admitted that he was a *kitten*!:happy: ....it made me feel a whole lot better. I HATE dating...this is why I don't do it...it sucks big time.
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
    Bad luck! There are many tossers in this world but there are also lots of genuine people, sounds like u r actually open to a relationship, be true to yourself be vulnerable be genuine and if someone tries to abuse u .... U always have that stranglehold!
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
    Bad luck! There are many tossers in this world but there are also lots of genuine people, sounds like u r actually open to a relationship, be true to yourself be vulnerable be genuine and if someone tries to abuse u .... U always have that stranglehold!
  • lreed
    lreed Posts: 348 Member
    URGGHHH! Glad to hear you put him in a choke hold! :smile: Bleh! That's all I can say!
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Choke Hold?? Not sure whether I am excited or scared.
  • KCmom
    KCmom Posts: 124
    Wow. What a jerk! :explode: I'm glad you found out before you went out w/him. There are a lot of dogs out there, that's for sure.
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