omg, I need help, please

Ginerrva · April 2013

I am not happy with the way I look at all. Seriously, it makes me cry when I look at myself in the mirror. I need help, please.

I weigh around 120-125 lbs and I'm at a height of 5'1". I know that's not necessarily overweight, but it's mostly fat. I mean, I have muscle, lots of muscle, but for some reason my fat just decided not to leave and so it's covering all the muscle. I can't wear tight shirts, or even relatively good-fitting shirts, otherwise my jiggly stomach will show. My legs are fine, but my stomach protrudes farther than my hips around the sides and it makes me cry when I look at myself in the nude.

I wouldn't feel so lost if it wasn't because of the amount of vegetables I eat and that I exercise regularly. It's seriously depressing me ;_; But I think I know what I'm doing wrong:

5/7 days a week I eat around 1300-1600 calories a day. I have the same thing everyday for breakfast: an English muffin or two slices of toast, a tbsp of peanut butter (all natural), one fried egg, tea with 1/4 cup full fat milk, and some kind of fruit or vegetable.
For lunch I have a big bowl of vegetables, which I dip in 4 tbsp of hummus, along with 1-2 apples.
Dinner is undecided, since I'm not the one who makes it, but it's usually around 500-800 calories. There is always meat and vegetables, no matter what it is.
Snacks include a variety of things, but usually a piece of fruit, gum, a tbsp of peanut butter, or almonds.

But I usually cheat on the weekends. A lot. It's basically 2 cheat days. I don't plan to do that this weekend, but I go out for dinner a lot with friends on Fridays (it's our way of keeping in touch), and then movie night is on Saturday. It's hard, but I'll try. What I really think I need is someone to get mad at me if I screw up, but no one I know really cares about that part of my life.

My workouts suck, because I hate it. I hate working out. I hate running (well, without music I hate it). I don't necessarily hate working out, actually, but I'm never motivated! Because even when I work out properly it never makes a difference, and it's driving me insane.

I need a new workout too, and I can't find one that works. I can only do one that I initiate myself, if you know what I mean. I hate doing the same workout video more than once, but I can do a list of moves a few times before I start to loathe it. I can't go to a gym, because I can't pay for it, so I'm stuck with the 8 pound dumbbells I have at home. And I just don't know when to work out, too. I mean, I usually do it right after school or right before bed (3 days/week). I used to do it in the mornings, but I lost the energy and motivation.

So there. I don't know what to do, and it's driving me into depression.

autumnpath · April 2013

I understand where you are at. Truly. I was there -- except a much higher weight. I loved to eat, hated working out...cheated on my diet....I think you have to get to a point where you just go out and do it....don't like to exercise? Either find something you really enjoy (mine is walking and yoga) or do it anyway -- whether you want to or not. For me I finally had to tell myself that I'm GOING to lose this weight. If I"m having a bad day, I get out the door and exercise anyway -- unless I'm sick or something. For me it had to become important enough for me to be motivated enough to do it.

As for the cheat days -- if you're consistently cheating a lot, you're not gonna lose (at least in my experience). I'm not trying to say this to be harsh...it's the way it is. I normally allow myself one splurge meal a week -- but I plan for it and save back enough calories to accommodate that and only go over my calorie goal minimally. If you're out eating with friends, pick healthy choices and either share or skip the dessert entirely.

There is no easy solution to losing weight. It takes hard work, consistency and dedication. You mentioned you don't have anyone who yells at you or "cares about this part of your life." You gotta care about it for YOU. Nobody can do this for you. If you're relying on others to care/push you....it's likely not going to happen in the long run.

You CAN do this. But you have to make it an integral part of your life....(at least that's how it was for me...)

Again, I in no way, shape or form intended any of this to sound rude..it's all totally from my perspective...the next person may come on and say something totally opposite....

Good luck! You CAN do this!

chasetwins · April 2013

(sigh) I envy your size

but know exactly what you mean and how you feel!!! I have hundreds of dollars of clothes but nothing to wear!!! Hate shopping cuz that means I have to actually try stuff on!! Summer is coming which I dread (sweatshirts do not fair well in 90 degrees!) Chin up...you need some toning

Onto the advice - if you can afford it invest in some Zumba DVD's (not working out - having fun shaking what your momma gave ya with the benefits of a great workout!!) Get the ones that are geared more for toning.
Or...and I dread saying this cuz I personally dis like them - go on youtube and hit up Jillian Michaels she has a TON of toning videos (free on youtube) which is what it sounds like you need. I dis like her workouts as I tend to hurt myself using my own body to strength train. I also find her boring however there are hundreds of people on here that swear by her and have amazing results! 30 day shred seems to be the most popular (3 circuits - 10 days of each)
Do not STOP working out since you have your 2 cheat days - the working out seems like it covers that.

Count your cals / measure everything including yourself ;0) and be sure to track everything even if you cheat...this holds YOU accountable and truly is the only way!

rijhip · April 2013

I'm an old guy, so I may not know what a 19 year old girl is going through. But hey, quit beating yourself up. Looks like you are making some positive steps in your life. You just need to refine what you are doing a little bit. At 5'1" you are very close to your ideal weight. Some small changes and you will be right on track. Say for example you have two cheat days, then workout harder on those two days.

Think outside the box on exercise i.e - ride a bike, take a hike, you and a friend plan to do a 1/2 marathon. Don't let your mind limit you. Push your limits- you will be surprised.

We will always be our worst critic on how we look. Do what you can do and be happy with that. If you feel good on the inside, it will reflect on the outside and other people will notice.

annalovesfood · April 2013

Hi there!

I suggest having a look at a book by Jillian Michaels called Mastering Your Metabolism. I am not an expert but maybe there is something going on with your hormones. Its easy to read and lays out the science of your metabolic hormones in a way thats simple to understand.
Also, I find the 30 DAY shred pretty motivating for exercise, by the author of the book, and you can get it free on Youtube. You do the same level for 10 days, mastering that stage, and then you move on to the next level. Its motivating to get to the next level, and there are a lot of people on here who have found it to be very helpful. You can look to them for support.
I know it can be really difficult to balance your social life with a weight loss life. I wish you luck on your journey!

froeschli · April 2013

Maybe have a look at "New Rules of Lifting for Women" or "You are Your own Gym"? NROL4W has nutrition advice, and both focus on strength training, which should help you change the fat/muscle ratio...

other than that, i recommend a manicure, haricut, or anything that will make you feel beautiful. :-) you deserve it.

5grls1boy · April 2013

it does not sound like you need to lose weight to me.....it sounds like you need to add muscle mass and reduce body fat.
For that you will need to eat properly and find a good weight and cardio workout, working out 3 days a week is for maintenance not for changing the way you look, you should workout at least 5 days a week, 3 muscle building day and 2 x 45 min. cardio days. I would even go for a walk every day of the week. Allow yourself 1 cheat day a week, control your portions and dont beat yourself up over it.
on your cheat day allow yourself 1 treat do not cheat all day long, otherwise all the work you did all week is waisted. You came to the right place to keep track of your eating habits and learning to make better food choices.

Good Luck sweatheart. Message me anytime.

Chantal

kdiamond · April 2013

I went through the same thing when I was trying to lose the weight after my kids...I would do really well during the week and completely blow it on the weekends. Guess what...I stayed in the 120's for months and it never seemed to budge. As soon as I changed my mindset, really decided to change and yes, gave up a little bit, watched my calories religiously, I lost all the weight in 4-5 months and I was down to 105 pounds. So if you really want to change you have to make the "mental" decision. I did cheat a little during this time, I drank vodka once a week and I had one cheat MEAL per week. It didn't hinder my progress.

nobleammonite · April 2013

*hugs* if you're a hug person. That feeling really sucks.

I don't really like working out either. I don't like running, but I guess I'm a runner. What motivates me is being done with a workout or a run! Then I can say that I did it, and not have to worry about it for the rest of the day. Sort of backwards, but if you think about it like that, maybe it will help.

If you want my suggestion for new workouts, you should check out Zuzka Light - her website is zuzkalight.com. I like her because instead of the peppy, slightly irritating attitude of most instructors in fitness videos, she's very down-to-earth. Her website can be difficult to navigate around, so I often go to http://litealloy.com/workouts/tags# to find a workout I want to do (it includes old videos from when she was with bodyrock.tv too). At that website you can also select the type of workout to see, like if you like doing intervals, or circuits, or if it needs equipment or not... there are tons of videos so you're not doing the same thing every day. There are enough that you could probably go a few months without repeating any. But it's also nice to repeat a workout and compare your new "score" to your old one. That's one way to see progress! That's also very motivating to me.

I hope you find something that works for you. Feel better!

red8424 · April 2013

tagging to read

omg, I need help, please

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