Love life before and after losing weight?

EatYourVeg
EatYourVeg Posts: 55
in Motivation and Support
How has weight loss affecting you in regards to finding a partner?

I've never had issues with having a relationship, but I found that after I lost all my weight I met the love of my life.
I guess that was the biggest benefit to becoming a more confident slimmer person... I met my soul mate!

Imagine if I was still the huge person I used to be? I was lazy, messy and just loud (bad BAD Clown to cover my insecurities about being so huge)

Anyone else have any love stories in relation to losing your weight? :)

Replies

  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
    I haven't had luck with relationships before losing weight (seriously I have dated 2 guys, each for about 2 months, then I broke it off, and I am 26! haha), currently I am about 28 pounds into my 40 pound weight loss and nothing has changed but I haven't really had the opportunities to meet new people so... Not sure if anything will change once I am at my goal weight.
  • EatYourVeg
    EatYourVeg Posts: 55
    I haven't had luck with relationships before losing weight (seriously I have dated 2 guys, each for about 2 months, then I broke it off, and I am 26! haha), currently I am about 28 pounds into my 40 pound weight loss and nothing has changed but I haven't really had the opportunities to meet new people so... Not sure if anything will change once I am at my goal weight.
    I think things will change a great deal when you're done!
    It's not just the image of yourself but the attitude / confidence that was hidden comes out!
    Keep at it btw! x
  • Lola_Rogers
    Lola_Rogers Posts: 107
    My love life got worse after losing 9 pounds. I was 107 when i met my husband and he loved me that way and now im 98 and he hates to see my bones and he admitted that he is less attracted to me now and that he doesnt even wanna have sex with me anymore. :/ Well..i guess i will have to make a choice pretty soon
  • Peachoid
    Peachoid Posts: 10 Member
    I was always heavy, met and married my husband while I was way overweight. It didnt matter to him then. But weight does matter to him in some ways, he keeps encouraging me to lose weight for my health and because it will be interesting to get into cute clothes, bikinis and such.
    Confidence is attractive and losing weight always helps. But its not the only thing that might help your love life.
  • EatYourVeg
    EatYourVeg Posts: 55
    How has weight loss affecting you in regards to finding a partner?

    I've never had issues with having a relationship, but I found that after I lost all my weight I met the love of my life.
    I guess that was the biggest benefit to becoming a more confident slimmer person... I met my soul mate!

    Imagine if I was still the huge person I used to be? I was lazy, messy and just loud (bad BAD Clown to cover my insecurities about being so huge)

    Anyone else have any love stories in relation to losing your weight? :)

    Sorry, most people don't care ow much you weigh. I have found obese women attractive and thinner women attractive, body type doesn't matter much, that's all in your had. You're saying you wouldn't have found this guy if you where at your starting weight?

    Love stories no, my life hasn't changed at all after losing 191lbs...
    Before I lost my weight, I hardly put my foot out my bedroom so door, so yeah that's kinda what I'm saying :)
  • Mharren
    Mharren Posts: 60
    I've had unexpected reactions when I've been thin. I lost weight and was showered with compliments and male attention and all the things I thought I wanted....but I was disgusted by it, and by them. I mean the compliments were nice, I heard "Stunning' a lot. But I'm Ukrainian, we're pretty, especially if we're slim, but the men...I like the attention and I enjoyed modeling and what not, but I couldn't bring myself to have relationships. I would sleep with guys, sure, in a very "I just used you now go away' kind of way, but I couldn't accept their romantic advances. The relationship I did finally have was with a man who would not have been considered attractive by most and who was over weight. A guy I could have gotten before weight loss, and I think thats why he was ok.

    My weight changes and any man that doesn't desire me when I'm fat, doesn't get to have me when I'm not. And I don't want a man that I don't desire when hes fat just as much as I want him when hes not. Looks are great, but fleeting.

    It wasn't what I expected.

    Cheers,
    - Mharren
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    no love before, no love after.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    I had one when I was grossly overweight. Now my body fat's gone from close to 30% to about 13% and I'm about 60lbs lighter... I got nothing. Though I doubt the two are in any way linked, just an unfortunate coincidence that there's been a direct correlation (but I very much doubt a causation) between my body getting fixed and my head getting broken.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 509 Member
    I'm a serial monogamist...I've always been in a relationship, pretty much since I was 17 (I'm 37). I've been married for 10 years now, but I've had relationships fat and thin and everywhere in between. It's nice to be cute to get attention but to KEEP someone's attention cute just isn't going to cut it. The size of my body hasn't really controlled how I was loved, except by me.
  • freelancejouster
    freelancejouster Posts: 478 Member
    Met my long term boyfriend when I was at my thinnest, gained weight over time so that I was at my heaviest, have been losing weight now for about 3 months and our love life has never really changed. If anything, it's slowed down lately just the tiniest bit due to how busy we are :')
  • aperrillioux
    aperrillioux Posts: 115 Member
    I couldn't bring myself to have relationships. I would sleep with guys, sure, in a very "I just used you now go away' kind of way, but I couldn't accept their romantic advances.

    This. I seem to have become much more scandalous since my weight loss...
    As for the unwillingness to try relationships with them, I think that has more to do with daddy issues than weight loss for me. But I guess the sleeping around does also, it's just now there are really attractive men coming on to me, so they're harder to resist than the not-so-attractive ones from before.
  • themutineer
    themutineer Posts: 117 Member
    I lost weight because my ex encouraged me to... but even after a sixty pound loss, I wasn't up to his standards.
    It totally screwed with my head. We broke up about ten months ago now, and just recently began speaking again in March.

    I told him a few days ago that he couldn't be a part of my life anymore, and I think its best that we cut off all contact.
    I haven't dated and don't plan to date. My weight shouldn't dictate my love life.
  • EatYourVeg
    EatYourVeg Posts: 55
    I lost weight because my ex encouraged me to... but even after a sixty pound loss, I wasn't up to his standards.
    It totally screwed with my head. We broke up about ten months ago now, and just recently began speaking again in March.

    I told him a few days ago that he couldn't be a part of my life anymore, and I think its best that we cut off all contact.
    I haven't dated and don't plan to date. My weight shouldn't dictate my love life.
    Aww that's really rough :(

    But you've done the right thing breaking contact with him though x
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I just go on a lot more dates now than I did when I was heavy.

    But then again I wasn't single at the time.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I just go on a lot more dates now than I did when I was heavy.

    But then again I wasn't single at the time.

    Ahem.

    Just so everyone is clear on this, he isn't single now, either. :angry:
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I just go on a lot more dates now than I did when I was heavy.

    But then again I wasn't single at the time.

    Ahem.

    Just so everyone is clear on this, he isn't single now, either. :angry:

    Move along 1CG.
  • neacail
    neacail Posts: 228 Member
    I've always been pretty confident, and never had a problem in my dating/love life: whether I was 130lbs or 190lbs.

    Hubby and I met when I was 130lbs. He really likes the way I look now @149lbs. He likes "the way things jiggle . . . the way a woman should." Seriously. He said that to me.

    He understand that his feelings, while important to me, aren't going to change my goals. I've got too much riding on getting my weight down.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I just go on a lot more dates now than I did when I was heavy.

    But then again I wasn't single at the time.

    Ahem.

    Just so everyone is clear on this, he isn't single now, either. :angry:

    Move along 1CG.

    :grumble:
  • t3chl3ts
    t3chl3ts Posts: 6
    From what I've seen with friends, there's someone for everyone. You just have to keep it in your head that you deserve the best and not put up with bs from anyone who wants to drag you down or put you in a box, no matter what your size.

    I have several friends who are morbidly obese and they are happily married, and they got married while in that shape. (They are trying to diet and exercise together now). They saw the light in each other and fell in love with it.

    I have been large (up and down somewhere between 30-100+ lbs over goal) all my life, and have dieted for most of it. I never had a lot of men ask me out so I asked out the ones I thought were worthy. I think I got turned down only once, if that. Most of my relationships have developed out of friendship, not out of blind dates or one-offs, and ended as friends, not destructively. I now have a husband I wouldn't trade for anything. Quality over quantity.

    On the other hand, I have a relative who is gorgeous - model level - and seems to have had bad relationships sequentially. She gets a lot of superficial attention but the men she winds up with are *kitten*. I don't know whether it is that they start off that way or turn that way or if that is what she's willing to put up with, but there it is. Quantity over quality.

    If you are in a relationship strictly due to physical attraction (big or small) it won't last. Looks change and fade with time. Don't settle for flattery and fake promises; take charge, have a good attitude and you will draw good things to you.

    Just my observations.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I've never had issues with having a relationship, but I found that after I lost all my weight I met the love of my life.
    I guess that was the biggest benefit to becoming a more confident slimmer person... I met my soul mate!

    Imagine if I was still the huge person I used to be? I was lazy, messy and just loud (bad BAD Clown to cover my insecurities about being so huge)

    It rings true that you really can't love someone else until you truly love yourself. That confidence and zest for life allows you to be more open about yourself. Very cool.
  • calisunrise
    calisunrise Posts: 307
    no love before, no love after.
    this
  • dsendre
    dsendre Posts: 173 Member
    One thing I do know is that my girlfriend definitely likes what my stronger abs allow me to do in the bedroom ;)
  • derekj222
    derekj222 Posts: 370 Member
    NO one except children should ever be under 100 lbs
    My love life got worse after losing 9 pounds. I was 107 when i met my husband and he loved me that way and now im 98 and he hates to see my bones and he admitted that he is less attracted to me now and that he doesnt even wanna have sex with me anymore. :/ Well..i guess i will have to make a choice pretty soon

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