The Hardest Part

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BlueJayLaw
BlueJayLaw Posts: 51 Member
in Motivation and Support
Right now I find that the hardest part about trying to change myself ....is the doing it "on my own"

I try to engage in exercise for atleast an hour a day and eat in a way that is more beneficial (cutting out fast food, cutting down stuff that is just crap in general) ....just makes it aggravating to watch the significant other go through food that I am trying to rid myself of...

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  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
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    Tis just life i'm afraid, you are doing this for you, not to change your other half. What he eats is of no concern for you. If you want to change your body and lose weight ignore the stuff he snaffling and concentrate on yourself.
  • drop_it_like_a_squat
    drop_it_like_a_squat Posts: 377 Member
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    Well first off, congratulations that you've decided to live a healthier life!

    Do you guys live together?
    Try to talk to him about how it's giving you a hard time when he eats all that junk while you're trying to stick to something healthy. Cook something nice for you both & you might convince him to join in with you.
    If he doesn't want to, I guess it's up to you to be strong and just say "No, I'll stick to my healthy stuff". Remind yourself why you're doing this & how bad junk is & what it does with your body.
    It will be all worth it in the end!

    But remember to have a treat every now & then. You shouldn't feel like you're missing out on something. It's not that bad if you over your calorie goal every now & then, as long as your weekly average is saved you'll be fine!
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
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    I eat completely different meals most of the time from my OH. I do weight lifting at home with no moral support. All of my motivation comes from within myself and my awesome friends here on MFP I have surrounded myself with.

    If you want this badly enough, then....NOTHING.... will stand in your way.

    Don't use anything as an excuse. Just do it for you, you deserve this.
  • BlueJayLaw
    BlueJayLaw Posts: 51 Member
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    Tis just life i'm afraid, you are doing this for you, not to change your other half. What he eats is of no concern for you. If you want to change your body and lose weight ignore the stuff he snaffling and concentrate on yourself.

    aye!
    just becomes more frustrating when he says he's unhappy with his current appearance and I am such a helping kind of person by nature

    ::shrug::

    Besides, I have noticed that I feel better in the days and my fidgety habit of picking at my fingernails has become nearly non existent since I started....I know I will make it :)

    PS: thanks XD
  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
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    Now see, I don't agree with trying to get a partner to stop eating crap just because the other half is on diet. It's unfair and can lead to resentment about having a new 'healthy' lifestyle pushed upon them. I think you just have to rise above it. It's really unfair to tell my OH he can't have chocolate because I'm trying to cut down on it. If he was over weight I would maybe suggest he cut down as well, but he he wasn't overweight i'd just have to suck it up and get on with it....
  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
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    Tis just life i'm afraid, you are doing this for you, not to change your other half. What he eats is of no concern for you. If you want to change your body and lose weight ignore the stuff he snaffling and concentrate on yourself.

    aye!
    just becomes more frustrating when he says he's unhappy with his current appearance and I am such a helping kind of person by nature

    ::shrug::

    Besides, I have noticed that I feel better in the days and my fidgety habit of picking at my fingernails has become nearly non existent since I started....I know I will make it :)

    PS: thanks XD

    Hmmm if he's a little fluffy round the belly then maybe when he sees you looking all foxy and shizz after losing a bit of tubbiness he might start wanting to cut out the crap anyway....
  • BlueJayLaw
    BlueJayLaw Posts: 51 Member
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    I think my biggest thing is the "I'm not happy with my weight/appearance/size/health" but doing nothing to change it...

    I have no qualms about turning down an oreo!
    I actually have like 6 boxes of GS cookies I haven't even touched yet .

    I allow myself the little things (i gorged on french fries yesterday because i wanted them that badly)

    But I REALLY DO appreciate all the input and support :)
  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
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    I think my biggest thing is the "I'm not happy with my weight/appearance/size/health" but doing nothing to change it...

    I have no qualms about turning down an oreo!
    I actually have like 6 boxes of GS cookies I haven't even touched yet .

    I allow myself the little things (i gorged on french fries yesterday because i wanted them that badly)

    But I REALLY DO appreciate all the input and support :)

    Ah yes that must be annoying, if he's moaning but not willing to change anything. Stoopid men!!
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
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    Right now I find that the hardest part about trying to change myself ....is the doing it "on my own"

    I try to engage in exercise for atleast an hour a day and eat in a way that is more beneficial (cutting out fast food, cutting down stuff that is just crap in general) ....just makes it aggravating to watch the significant other go through food that I am trying to rid myself of...

    I have the EXACT same problum!! It drives me insane. Especially when we go grocery shopping. I add fruits, vegetables and lean meats to the cart and snack stuff around 100 cals a serving (all relatively healthy) and he adds chips and cookies and donuts!! I have a crazy sweet tooth and it is soo hard to resist. Sometimes I cant. He has no problum losing any weight he puts on so he just doesnt care about how hard I have to work to lose even a pound.

    It also sucks cause we both love to cook (I especially love to bake.. Whoops) I am trying a healthier version of banana muffins tonight. Hope they work.

    Anyway. Stay true to yourself!! And dont worry if you satisfy a craving here and there. :)
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    You can't change other people, only yourself. There will always be "naughty" food around you. You have to find a way to deal with it. If your partner is complaining about his appearance, but doing nothing to change it, you may just have to do nothing and let him see some more real life consequences before he'll be ready to change. Some people react to support and encouragement, some react better to seeing what really happens if they stay on the path they're on. I think it links into practical learning. Allowing him to see those consequences could be the kind of support he needs.
  • AnJulNZ
    AnJulNZ Posts: 186 Member
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    Ugh yes I agree with you! My huband stuffs his face with cake and chocolate right in front of me, then says he's being supportive by not offering me any lol.

    :ohwell:
    It's not that he doesn't offer any to me, I just feel he's being quite insensitive by pigging out on food I choose not to eat anymore right in front of me. TBH it's actually kind of a turn off.

    BUT in no time at all I'll be hot and he'll be not ... so his problem not mine :)
  • Sagruf
    Sagruf Posts: 26 Member
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    It's the same at my house, been doing this for just over a year, and I have to watch my g/f eat chocolate bars / icecream / cream cakes / fast food and she herself says she not happy with herself and how she looks.

    Its hard but in a way, I do feed of her weakness (not to sound nasty here) as in I can do this and you cant (ok that sounds childish)

    I also find it hard because I'm the cook in this house cooking for a family of 5 and only me on a diet and to not put anything in my mouth as I'm cooking for them when it smells so nice.

    I do get mad sometimes, mainly at night when I cant eat (no cals left or just to late), and all I can see is wrappers on the sofa arm or the smell of bacon cooking in the kicken, not so bad in day if they grab a chocolate bar I can grab a apple.

    And now I've lost some weight she got it into her head that I'm going to leave here for someone better (her words not mine), after watching a diet show on UK tv and the husband left his wife after losing weight.

    So like you, my main support is MFP, but o my what a support system it is :D
  • AnJulNZ
    AnJulNZ Posts: 186 Member
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    And now I've lost some weight she got it into her head that I'm going to leave here for someone better (her words not mine), after watching a diet show on UK tv and the husband left his wife after losing weight.

    So like you, my main support is MFP, but o my what a support system it is :D
    She doesn't have a very good opinion of your integrity then does she! Not everyone is like that.

    My main support is MFP too. It is hard doing it alone, although my 11 year old daughter is really supportive <3
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
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    In the same boat.

    I don't expect him to change... but I do secretly hold out a little hope that he will decide to live a healthier lifestyle :flowerforyou:
    The only frustrating part is when he criticizes others that complain about not being able to lose weight, talking about how it's not rocket science, calories in/out, move more, eat better, etc... which is not untrue, but I don't like that he criticizes others for not making a change that he himself isn't willing to put the effort into.
  • jadams1650
    jadams1650 Posts: 139 Member
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    Ugh yes I agree with you! My huband stuffs his face with cake and chocolate right in front of me, then says he's being supportive by not offering me any lol.

    :ohwell:
    It's not that he doesn't offer any to me, I just feel he's being quite insensitive by pigging out on food I choose not to eat anymore right in front of me. TBH it's actually kind of a turn off.

    BUT in no time at all I'll be hot and he'll be not ... so his problem not mine :)
    Wow, new concept, revenge dieting. Somehow I think this may not work out too well for Dear Husband.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
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    I eat completely differently than my husband. I do cook one protein and I put mine on a huge salad with balsamic vinegar and other veggies. I make him a starch, give him bread and he eats whatever veggie I am having with my salad. I also started doing this at my parents and in -laws. I do go out every now and then and make sure to order healthy.

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