18lbs down BUT people are lying!

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24

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  • emleecharles13
    emleecharles13 Posts: 18
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    I get loads of lovley genuinely nice comments from people about my loss and how different i look. I understand i should be thrilled and these comments should make me feel good, but honestly they have the opposite effect because it forces me to remind myself of how i used to look and feel. Some of the feelings of misery and unhappy come back when i even think about how i was. I am sure in time this will go away but i kinda feel like i wish people would just not comment at me right now till i deal with my demons. I still find myself going into shops and picking up size 20 clothes even tho i am a 12 now. Has anyone else had this?

    Yes! Totally what is happening with me, even though you put hard work in and you are losing for some reason in my mind im still that same unhappy person eating away her feelings. Im hoping it will go away too, sooner rather than later would be brilliant!
  • taliasometimes
    taliasometimes Posts: 301 Member
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    I can totally relate!

    I too, started at 14st (and 3 lbs) and I was getting told how skinny I was at 12 STONE (168) and i assure you i did not look remotely slim! I looked slimmER, but people shrieking how skinny i was was simply a LIE.
    And when I did get skinny at 113lbs i had everyone on my back saying i was looking haggard and too skinny etc

    people can really get in the way when you are trying to do something for yourself. I find that they are full of false compliments when your on the way but when you get there they are jealous and try to put you down.

    (some people are wonderful tho! im not tarring everyone, just a few people in my experience)
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    1. 18 lbs in 5 weeks actually is a huge amount. It's hardly surprising that people have noticed.

    2. People around you are telling you you look beautiful, and you're upset? Maybe you need to learn to take compliments graciously. You can't control whether people notice now, or whether they don't notice until you suddenly reach your goal. That's silly. You're making changes to your life, you've lost 18lbs, and people have noticed and are being nice about it. You feeling fed-up and de-motivated about their comments is down to you - YOU can choose how to feel about it. Losing weight can mess with your head, but the people around you aren't in your head. They're just seeing you getting slimmer and saying something nice about it. They don't know your rule about not noticing until you've reached your goal. Take it for what it is.

    3. If the people around you are genuinely fake and making these comments to somehow be nasty (which I can't really see from the little info you've given) then either ignore them, or consider surrounding yourself with more supportive people.
  • emleecharles13
    emleecharles13 Posts: 18
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    I can totally relate!

    I too, started at 14st (and 3 lbs) and I was getting told how skinny I was at 12 STONE (168) and i assure you i did not look remotely slim! I looked slimmER, but people shrieking how skinny i was was simply a LIE.
    And when I did get skinny at 113lbs i had everyone on my back saying i was looking haggard and too skinny etc

    people can really get in the way when you are trying to do something for yourself. I find that they are full of false compliments when your on the way but when you get there they are jealous and try to put you down.

    (some people are wonderful tho! im not tarring everyone, just a few people in my experience)

    So glad im not the only one! Well done on the loss too! Thats amazing!
  • Ilovevwgolf
    Ilovevwgolf Posts: 560 Member
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    They are all sorts of people and all sorts of reason when they compliment - some are genuine and happy with your progress, some are there to make you feel inadequate, some will remind you of how you were, some are uncomfortable to see your changes and feels envious, some wants to sabotage you to go back how you were and some compliments but the words always come out wrong!

    Take it all in your stride - don't let the negative ones bring you down and the only one person you need to impress is yourself ! If you are happy with your progress, so be it, and if you are not, you know what to do...that is all that matters.
  • demorelli
    demorelli Posts: 508 Member
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    18 pounds is something people are going to notice. If people's comments are encouraging that's great! If they're not, brush them off and don't let them sink your motivation. Keep up the hard work and you'll get to where you want to go regardless of what anyone does to try to stop you.
  • A_Fit_Mom
    A_Fit_Mom Posts: 602 Member
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    PI know what you mean. This is why, I haven't told anyone that I am doing this. (Except my husband). I want people to honestly notice a difference and not constantly be judging what I eat or do.
  • katscoots
    katscoots Posts: 255 Member
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    Bottom line - you are doing this for you. People think they are helping by telling you you are fine just the way you are, etc, but in the end, it's you who has to be happy with and love yourself. My husband likes it when I'm a little heavier...bet you can't guess why, but ultimately, I like it when I'm leaner, so we're both happier when I'm more comfortable with myself.

    This is all about you and there is nothing wrong with that.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    First off, from your profile pic you look like a beautiful young lady and in a world of people with eating disorders and some women wanting to get dangerously slim people make comments like that. you must remember that this is something you must want to do for yourself, not everyone else. Don't tell people it is a diet but simply say I am choosing to cut things that are not good for me out of my food choices as I want to be a healthier me. This should not alarm people that you are on some fad diet, or so concerned about your weight.

    But for your main concern, if people find you beautiful, (and it is possible even when you do not feel you are where you want to be), they may just be letting you know how they feel about you and not giving false information. Lots of luck.
  • Shetchncn1
    Shetchncn1 Posts: 260 Member
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    Dieting is definitely something that you have to do for yourself. Your just going to have to ignore the people that are getting on your nerves. My mom does that. I lose a pound and then she won't let up on the advice for weeks. My husband is the quiet motivator. For instance if he is watching something in the bedroom and I go in to workout and need the TV for a tape or something he will just go to another room once he figures out what I am in there for. No questions asked. He will even leave me "I am proud of you notes" :) BUT I get what you are saying. It depends on the sincerity and type of encouragement that you receive as to how much it really will work.
    Good luck. As the old saying goes "Opinions are like A**holes everyone has one" :) Your losing weight is for you!
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    I somewhat know what you mean - I have people telling me how slim I look now, and I still weigh just over 17 stone - by no means of the imagination is that 'slim'. I'm not as fat as I was, but ultimately, I'm still fat.

    However I don't take it to heart because people are generally just trying to be supportive, and I honestly think that I am a little over-sensitive about my weight anyway, and I can take things the wrong way. I think you are doing the same, by the sounds of it. People are calling you beautiful and you are taking that badly? I'm sure you'd be just as quick to moan if no-one noticed at all!
  • slamina
    slamina Posts: 26 Member
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    I never tell anyone when I'm trying to lose weight. I also hate the fake, oh you've lost so much weight, bullsh** comments. Also for me, in case I fall on my face and put weight on don't want to have made a huge thing about losing and then knowing that everyone knows I've failed!

    So just keep my gob shut and if a proper friend tells me I look good, I can say "Thanks"
  • mollyhediger
    mollyhediger Posts: 8
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    Honestly I think your friends are starting to notice and the really think you are looking good.. that much weight will change how you look even if its not your goal weight yet. Be happy that people are noticing.. that means you are on your way and your doing a great job! Dont take it as people are lying.. take it as they are noticing your accomplishments!!:wink:
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    So I when I first weighed myself I was 14 stone 1lbs with this I felt huge anyway but knowing how much I actually weighed made me feel sick, so I did something about it. In 5 weeks I have lost 18lbs which isn't a huge amount but all of a sudden because I am on a diet every one around me is telling me how stunning and beautiful I am, I don't need false comments, when I get to my goal weight I want people to notice then not when I haven't even lost half the weight I want to lose. Basically I feel fed up and demotivated! Has anyone else had these types of problems? HELP!:grumble:

    Just because you have a poor self-image doesn't make others liars. You are beautiful. If you can't see that, then maybe you should seek counseling or something. This post makes me sad.
  • StrawberryThief
    StrawberryThief Posts: 115
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    I kind of think you need to work on yourself esteem, and maybe give your friends a bit more credit.

    I was looking at photos of myself from a few months ago and at the time I thought I hadn't lost anything, but looking back on them I looked a lot slimmer. also, if you're eating better, even if you haven't lost weight your probably DO look better.
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
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    Just from your one picture - you don't look like you have a lot to lose. So 18 lbs is probably pretty noticeable on you.
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
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    Just take the compliment! From your photo you do look beautiful.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
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    Only one comment...I only see one complete day of food since you recently joined but, if in fact you're only eating around 638 calories a day they are correct about your not eating enough. You'll possibly lose muscle and even take a chance on damaging other organs. Please reconsider and go slower but in a healthier manner.
  • annadavidson1984
    annadavidson1984 Posts: 22 Member
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    About 5 years I ago I got down to a weight where most people had never seen me before. I was far from being too skinny, but everybody kept telling me I was too thin. They would get mad when we would go out to eat and I'd order a salad. (I actually love salads). I finally quit going anywhere with them!

    Hang in there! Some people are false, others may truly feel you look great, and others want to be helpful.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    How rude of people to compliment you! The nerve of some people, I swear......

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