no time to take care of myself. help!
kitticatnicole
Posts: 9
Help! i'm in desperate need of any help/suggestions/tips on how i can incorporate a healthy fitness & well balanced diet routine into my very busy day. I'm a working mom who just started back at work a month ago & i have terrible hours ( i will probably be changing jobs in the next 3 weeks for an assistant manager job so 40hrs obligatory ). i've had this scedule for 3 weeks & just can<t seem to fall into a good routine. so here is how it goes:
i wake up at 6-6:30 every morning, i prepare my daughter for daycare & myself for work & i'm out the door by 7:30 the latest. The only thing i am able to put into my stomach is a morning shake, because everything else is too heavy & i feel sicker after i eat. Then i drive through traffic (45 mins) & back (37 mins) I stop & get gas & grab a coffee, so it's almost 9 am. I then take care of housework/bills/phone calls etc. i would probably have 30 mins to exercise max. ten i leave at 11:30 & go to work (once again forgetting to eat anything or not having enough time to prepare anything because i am the most unorganized person i know) i work 4 to 4 and a half hour shifts in a small boutique with no breaks. just standing in one spot for hours. when i'm done i grab coffee & some sort of snack, usually pasta salad or a sandwich from cultures, & jump into my care to brave the 45 mins of traffic to get to the daycare & the now 50 mins to get back.
so now it is 6pm. i put on half an hour of cartoons for my daughter (she is 1yr old by the way) & i make supper for the 3 of us. once that is in the oven & is cooking, i feed my kiddo her supper (takes a good 15 to 20 minutes because she wants to be a big girl use the spoon all by herself). I need another coffee. We then take some time to ourselves to play with blocks or look at a book or play with her stuffed animals & practice walking. Now it's 8:15, so that's bath time, which takes about 15 minutes but it's 15 minutes of pure fun.
now it's 8:30. my boyfriend gets home (whose been gone since 7am) i serve him supper. Now is clean up or me time so i'd finally have time to work out now, but i'm so tired, i don't know how i could do an effective workout with out dying. My girl usually falls asleep around 9:30-10. this is my week, everyday. I might eat supper i might not. Weekends are normally taken up by some family activity, if not, i may have a few hours to go visit my horse. Or i do groceries, or have more cleaning to do. Everything depends on whether not my boyfriend is working or not.
So you see, i'm stuck. i've been stuck @ 140 lbs for the last 4 weeks. i don't know how to organize myself to be able to accomplish everything in the day with out neglecting my family or myself. I know i should probably eat more, but what? it has to be easy & quick. I don't eat because i feel too busy & eventually forget i was hungry in the first place.
Please, any advice would be appreciated. Easy lunch/snack recipes, effective workouts, tips on how to balance out my time better. Anything! I just need a hand, i feel like i'm running on overdrive 24/7 & that i could fall asleep if i don't have my coffee.
I have about 13 pounds to go, if i could lose 20 i'd be over joyed, but i'll take it one step at a time..
i wake up at 6-6:30 every morning, i prepare my daughter for daycare & myself for work & i'm out the door by 7:30 the latest. The only thing i am able to put into my stomach is a morning shake, because everything else is too heavy & i feel sicker after i eat. Then i drive through traffic (45 mins) & back (37 mins) I stop & get gas & grab a coffee, so it's almost 9 am. I then take care of housework/bills/phone calls etc. i would probably have 30 mins to exercise max. ten i leave at 11:30 & go to work (once again forgetting to eat anything or not having enough time to prepare anything because i am the most unorganized person i know) i work 4 to 4 and a half hour shifts in a small boutique with no breaks. just standing in one spot for hours. when i'm done i grab coffee & some sort of snack, usually pasta salad or a sandwich from cultures, & jump into my care to brave the 45 mins of traffic to get to the daycare & the now 50 mins to get back.
so now it is 6pm. i put on half an hour of cartoons for my daughter (she is 1yr old by the way) & i make supper for the 3 of us. once that is in the oven & is cooking, i feed my kiddo her supper (takes a good 15 to 20 minutes because she wants to be a big girl use the spoon all by herself). I need another coffee. We then take some time to ourselves to play with blocks or look at a book or play with her stuffed animals & practice walking. Now it's 8:15, so that's bath time, which takes about 15 minutes but it's 15 minutes of pure fun.
now it's 8:30. my boyfriend gets home (whose been gone since 7am) i serve him supper. Now is clean up or me time so i'd finally have time to work out now, but i'm so tired, i don't know how i could do an effective workout with out dying. My girl usually falls asleep around 9:30-10. this is my week, everyday. I might eat supper i might not. Weekends are normally taken up by some family activity, if not, i may have a few hours to go visit my horse. Or i do groceries, or have more cleaning to do. Everything depends on whether not my boyfriend is working or not.
So you see, i'm stuck. i've been stuck @ 140 lbs for the last 4 weeks. i don't know how to organize myself to be able to accomplish everything in the day with out neglecting my family or myself. I know i should probably eat more, but what? it has to be easy & quick. I don't eat because i feel too busy & eventually forget i was hungry in the first place.
Please, any advice would be appreciated. Easy lunch/snack recipes, effective workouts, tips on how to balance out my time better. Anything! I just need a hand, i feel like i'm running on overdrive 24/7 & that i could fall asleep if i don't have my coffee.
I have about 13 pounds to go, if i could lose 20 i'd be over joyed, but i'll take it one step at a time..
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Replies
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Find the time to do what needs to be done. I'm not trying to sound mean but those who say "I just have no time at all" are just making excuses.
If you really, truly want to lose weight, make the time to exercise and prepare good foods.
Take one day a week and prep a ton of meals that are healthy, low cal and easy to grab. Make extra at dinner for your lunch the next day. Bring your coffee from home... not only will you save money but also calories.
If you don't want to fit in exercise between dropping your daughter off and going to work... do it after dinner. If you don't want to do it than, get up half an hour earlier and exercise than. If you don't exercise between dropping your daughter off and going to work, prep a meal or eat something that you have prepped already. While you are at work don't just stand in one spot walk around. Every little bit helps.
Also, if you are that dependant on coffee where you feel you must have multiple cups a day, maybe go for a blood test to ensure you don't have any low levels of anything that could be causing you to be too tired. I find when I eat properly, and therefore get proper nutrients and vitamins/minerals I am not as tired. Also, how low are you calories? Could be why you are so tired all the time.0 -
Don't worry it's not mean it's the truth. i know i prepare pretty healthy & well balanced meals & they always end up becoming lunches for my boyfriend... but i could def try to make even more so i'd have some for myself. Will need some practice. As for the calories i have completely lost count, it can be anywhere from the 900-1500 depending on the day. I wish i could walk around at work, but it's sedentary tasks i have to do. i really don't have a choice. i can't package things while moving
Do you have any suggestions on what kind of exercise i should do? cardio or muscle training, or something that combines both? & how often?
I haven't gone for a blood test, but i had been prescribed iron pills, which i took for over 3 months, & saw absolutely no difference. what other nutrients could i be missing? i have been taking a vitamin powder & anti-oxidant powder for the last 3 days, but no difference yet. they are supposed to have 90 vitamins/nutriants & 70 anti-oxidents. Will it take a few weeks before i feel results
thank-you for responding0 -
You are busy for sure! BUT .... I get up every morning at 4am to work out. I am fortunate that I have a treadmill & elliptical at my office and some dumbells I have acess too. I also work out at home some evenings & weekends. I have a 4 year old who likes to work out right along with me. There are TONS of body weight excersizes you can do at random times of the day - or put a video in for you daughter & take 20 minutes to do them then. As for meals, it does take time, the key is to plan. I am not a planner by nature and I procrastinate like there's no tomorrow (pun intended ha!) It takes a while to get into the routine of it. Sunday evenings I pre-pack all I can for lunches for the week - cereal, veggie sticks. I'm pretty boring, I eat the same thing for breakfast & lunch pretty much every day. I also have Luna bars, fiber one bars etc. on hand in my car, in my bag, in my desk just in case I forget something or want something different. Fruit doesn't require any thought - grab & go. You do have to MAKE TIME for it, and like I said, it does take a while to get into the routine, but it can be done. Good luck!0
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I know it is no fun, but I have found that working out before everyone else gets up is pretty key. I am going to a boot camp right now from 5:45 to 6:30AM, and I am FAR from a morning person. LOL It means though that I get in a good workout, 4 x per week at the very least. You could do the same thing in your living room with a DVD workout (or a few of them to change it up). Lots of the Jillian Michaels ones are 25 to 30 minutes per workout. Then you could fit in another 20-30 minutes before work once your daughter is at daycare (a walk around the block, etc.).
Pack healthy snacks for yourself to eat during the day. When you are making dinner, make an extra chicken breast, chop extra veggies, boil an egg or two, etc. Then in the morning, you just have to grab and go. If you have healthy stuff at your fingertips, you will be able to easily make good choices.
It is do-able, but it takes some adjusting. FWIW, I am a working mother of two, and I work more than a 40 hour work week.0 -
A couple of things occur to me. Definitely make larger quantities when you cook, and start putting small containers in the freezer so that they can become your lunches. Can you cook in quatities on the weekend, and prepackage some of the food for easy weekday dinners and lunches? While you are prepping meals, cut up some extra veggies and fruit so that they are easy to grab for "anytime" snacks. You can pre-cut apples and pears and sprinkle a little lemon juice on them and they will not brown when kept in a covered container in the fridge for several days.
Can your boyfriend do some of the housework either before he leaves for work, or on the weekend? It sounds like you feel that you have to do it all.
Lastly, If you are getting your daughter up around 6:30 in the morning, it should be possible to get her to bed earlier than 9:00 or 9:30 at night. That's pretty late for a one year old. Maybe you can start the bedtime routine a bit earlier so that you have a little more "me" time at the end of the night. Or--let her sleep in a bit later in the morning while you get in an early morning exercise session. She really doesn't need to get to daycare as early as you are dropping her off, does she?0 -
Sounds like you need to organize your meals at the beginning of the week. You have to eat the meals you make/pack. Get some friends on MFP for support, it's so tough to do on your own. Log, log, log everyday...I "try" to stick to logging... I am a full time working mom of twins and the only time I can fit in a workout is 5am. It's tough but definitely doable!! Once you get MFP friends you'll be motivated. Gotta find other moms just like you and read their story and their posts of how they get it done. Don't do this alone, I tried and you just won't get the full benefit of MFP.0
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Hmm I feel for you. It sounds like that's a lot to do! Could your boyfriend serve himself supper and do the cleanup? It would free up 30 minutes for yourself. Or take your daughter into daycare later on your way to work?0
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When I had a schedule as busy as yours, I would get up about 40 minutes earlier in the morning so that I could do a 30-minute exercise tape. When I progressed beyond that tape, I had to get up an hour earlier so that I could do a 45-minute tape.
At one time I would take 90 minutes for lunch (instead of 60) to go work out at a fitness club, then return to my job and stay 30 minutes extra (to make up from lunch). I dressed in my gym clothes before leaving work, then returned and freshened up with towelettes and applied deodorant and got dressed. I didn't have time for a shower. I was most certainly socially acceptable with that. Oh, and I wore my hair in a high ponytail while working out so that it didn't all get saturated with sweat, only the scalp area, which dried very quickly. I had a backpack to carry my gym clothes in.
Where there's a will, there's a way. Best wishes finding your way.0 -
I will definitely start freezing stuff. i didn't even think of that. & cutting up fruit too if it can keep that long.
My boyfriend works quite a bit.. i feel like it's my job to just take care of the rest. He usually gets upset if i ask him to pick up after himself..
As for the bed time, your right, she should go to bed earlier, we've been working on it alot. She's slowly going to bed earlier & earlier. She is a car napper though, that's where we've been having trouble. she sleeps in the car so it becomes a super power, power nap.
& your right, i could take her later maybe.. that way i could fit in a work out before my boyfriend leaves for work. i just felt it was easier to bring her earlier so i could get things done. i have never been a great cleaner, i really suck to tell you the truth. So i feel like being alone to clean is much more efficient0 -
Sounds like you need to organize your meals at the beginning of the week. You have to eat the meals you make/pack. Get some friends on MFP for support, it's so tough to do on your own. Log, log, log everyday...I "try" to stick to logging... I am a full time working mom of twins and the only time I can fit in a workout is 5am. It's tough but definitely doable!! Once you get MFP friends you'll be motivated. Gotta find other moms just like you and read their story and their posts of how they get it done. Don't do this alone, I tried and you just won't get the full benefit of MFP.
Thanks! great advice0 -
Wow you do have a busy schedule. I would recommend buying a Bodymedia cal counter. This way you can track you ALL your calories being burned, even cleaning the house you're actually burning calories. It's helped me alot. Once you know how many calories your burning all you need to do is watch your food intake. GOOD LUCK!0
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Wake up at 5 am warm up for 5 workout for 20 cool off for 5 take a shower start your reg 6 am schedule.....................
Cont to drink your shake but make it high protein or worth the effort.
Replace coffee with water.
Exercise as above mentioned in that 30 mins (you do not have to do all exercise in one increment in a day)
Eat premade finger food lunch from night before (you will understand it by end of post)
Replace coffee with water and eat your snack
Cook a filling healthy dinner (freeze some for next day) for yourself feed the kid
Replace coffee with water.
Do yoga to relax before bed or just stretch
Make your lunch for next day to grab as you run out the door to work before you go to bed.0 -
Hmm I feel for you. It sounds like that's a lot to do! Could your boyfriend serve himself supper and do the cleanup? It would free up 30 minutes for yourself. Or take your daughter into daycare later on your way to work?
He could definitely serve himself. but cleaning after he gets home from work is out of question for him, & i dare not let him cook or we may all die :laugh:0 -
Is there anything your boyfriend can help you do when he gets home? To relieve some of the pressure of all this stuff you have to do? You seem like you have a lot on your plate, with managing both a job and a young daughter, that's a lot of work! You say you have to "serve him supper" and then clean up? Maybe he could help you or do it for you? Do you eat with him?0
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I have a 3.5yr old and 2yr old sons and a 9wk old baby girl. I'm also a full time student. I am up at 7a and in bed after 11 most nights, not to mention I co-sleep with the baby who is an on demand exclusively breastfed infant. So I'm up and down at night. Although I am a stay at home mom my days are no less filled. My husband works 10a-8p and drives 45 min to and from thus putting him gone almost 12hr a day and leaving cooking, cleaning, baths, laundry, etc on me and still leaving me to find time for myself. So I workout when he gets home at 9p. Yes. 9-10p I'm working out and showering. From 10-11p (or later) I'm doing school work-I do online classes. It's tough. But my point is if you really want to do something you'll find time to do it. Now don't mistake me I'm sure you want to lose weight and eat better. But you'll make time to do theseand stop making excuses when you're really ready.
That being said I'd love to share tips if you want.
you can do it 0 -
Why not wait to take the daughter to daycare when you go to work?
Leave-Come back-Leave seems like nonsense to me and a waste of time.
You have time to pay bills but not eat??
Sorry bills can be done some other time and not need to be done daily.
I was a single working mom with 5 you are going in circles and need better time management.0 -
Is there anything your boyfriend can help you do when he gets home? To relieve some of the pressure of all this stuff you have to do? You seem like you have a lot on your plate, with managing both a job and a young daughter, that's a lot of work! You say you have to "serve him supper" and then clean up? Maybe he could help you or do it for you? Do you eat with him?
I do have a lot to manage i guess, but i guess there is alot of pressure from my family & my boyfriends family to manage it all. I get teased alot because i am not super organised. I'll eat with him from time to time.0 -
Why not wait to take the daughter to daycare when you go to work?
Leave-Come back-Leave seems like nonsense to me and a waste of time.
You have time to pay bills but not eat??
Sorry bills can be done some other time and not need to be done daily.
I was a single working mom with 5 you are going in circles and need better time management.
Not necessarily bills, but right now i've been doing my boyfriends taxes. He's self employed, but has a boss who pays him for his work. it is quite complicated. Losts of deductions i can do, I'm trying to get things in order.0 -
I am not trying to make an excuse for myself. I would just like a hand. It makes me cry that people tell me i am making excuses. No one here knows the life i live, but i can tell you that i feel like i just need someone to say that things are going to be okay, & not that what i'm doing is still not good enough. I've never been good enough for anything, ever. so please, everyone telling me i am making excuses, & that i'm not up to par, please do not bother commenting because i need support, not judgement. thanks0
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I can feel your pain -- I am in a similar boat. I get up at 5:30 with my stepson, get him on the bus for 7:00, am at home with my baby daughter until I leave for work at 11, and am then gone at work until 9pm most nights, and have an hour commute.
Two options:
1.) Work exercise in to your day. I do this occasionally; do five pushups while breakfast is cooking. Do five body squats before you get into your car. Buy a small barbell and do some curls while you stand at work. Do five jumping jacks before you add each ingredient while cooking supper. There are small ways that you can do small exercises, and if you do them through the day they'll add up.
2.) As much as it sucks, I most often do this route -- get used to a little less sleep. If you're going to bed around 10 or 11 after your daughter goes to bed, wait an hour and work out from 11 to midnight. Or wake up an hour early and work out before your day (probably better since you won't have to worry about trying to fall asleep). Some nights I only get 3-5 hours of sleep, and that's not sustainable in the long term, but if it helps you meet your fitness goals it can be done for a while.
Best of luck!0 -
Aww don't feel bad. You're doing a great job with not a lot of help at home! You know what, sometimes things slip. I hardly ever clean up after dinner beyond taking the dishes to the kitchen counter and wiping them down. Dishes can wait until I have time. And do you know how many times I've left laundry in the dryer? Lol. Don't worry nobody's perfect!0
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I do chalean extreme.. its absolutely amazing! it combines weights and cardio and the longest workout is 45 min. I have seen awesome results from just doing this program. I went from walking on the tmill 7 days a weeks for an hour and fifteen minutes to these chalean workouts which is structured for 5 days a week but i do add in an extra day of cardio with the turbo jam workout that is on one of the dvds with the set. I didnt see any results from the tmill but now i am building muscle and getting nice and lean.. and spending alot less time working out which is a huge plus for me beczuse i also have 2 children and work.. good luck!0
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I am completely shocked (I am new to MFP so this is probably why) at how rude people are, and judgment coming from other mothers who should understand. You are BUSY and not finding time to exercise right now is valid, especially with a new schedule. You wanted advice and mostly what I see is people belittling you for not having found time to do workouts. Everyone is different and personally in your shoes I would be struggling too.
I don't currently work and still struggle to get things done but looking at my schedule someone might say oh look here's an hour free why don't you work out during that time.... what they can't see is that I have an 8 month old who is teething and cries when I put him down. But this about your problem not me. I would be tempted to suggest whether it is possible to cut out some of the car travel and walk sometimes for some journeys? I am a city girl and not a car owner so perhaps this is ridiculous advice, as I am used to being able to walk everywhere I need being in a several-mile radius. But if you could save petrol money and traffic time and do more walking, that's a good workout int! Also maybe try and talk to your boyfriend about how you feel... I had to really explain to mine how I felt that doing Yoga (which I've actually been neglecting after making such a fuss!) was my only "me" time and if we could please have an allotted time in the evening, or agree that I had an hour slot whenever I wanted where he would take over everything and I could do a workout/ yoga session.0 -
Why not wait to take the daughter to daycare when you go to work?
Leave-Come back-Leave seems like nonsense to me and a waste of time.
You have time to pay bills but not eat??
Sorry bills can be done some other time and not need to be done daily.
I was a single working mom with 5 you are going in circles and need better time management.
Not necessarily bills, but right now i've been doing my boyfriends taxes. He's self employed, but has a boss who pays him for his work. it is quite complicated. Losts of deductions i can do, I'm trying to get things in order.
wait...so you're doing his taxes but he gets upset when you ask him to help out more or clean up after himself? Have you tried talking to him about supporting you so that you less stressed, healthier, and happier overall? Maybe even if it's just a day or two per week.
Well I don't have children but I did grow up in a house with a mom (and dad) that worked full-time with mom also in school and 5 kids.
Scheduling, planning with times and durations listed helped my mom the most. Weekends or days when my mom didn't have work or/and school were prep days for shopping, cleaning, errands so that days with work, school, after school sports (super active kids!), etc flowed freely. She planned meals weekly and prepped on weekends so that she could make a dinner to feed 7 in less than 30 minutes. After dinner was homework and baths - we were in bed (to sleep or read a little before going to sleep) by 8/8:30 all the way up to high school.
Can you make a list of the things that need to be done daily, consolidate (like leaving to drop your daughter off at day care only to come back home and then leave out for work), allot how much time you think you need and go from there? It may seem silly but my mom had an agenda and list for each day (on paper) and she followed it. That structure helped her greatly and it allowed my dad to jump in and help whenever she needed (except cooking - that man cannot cook to save his life).0 -
I remember when my girls were babies (22 mos. apart). There were times that I felt like I was going to lose it. If the baby wasn't waking up every two hours, the toddler was. But, they are 7 and 9 now and while its still challenging, at least I'm getting enough sleep now to think a little more clearly.
I think you've gotten a lot of good advice here. Probably the best thing you can do is work on your time management and getting to bed at a decent time. Once you've done that, you'll be able to get up earlier and fit your workouts in before. It's so much better to get it done in the morning and not feel like you have this obligation hanging over you in the evening.
Anyway, yes, it does get better. It's still challenging, but still better. And, believe it or not, you'll find yourself longing for those baby days.<30 -
I used to be a person who said I just don't have time, but that was when I was making excuses. Now I just make the time and while I sometimes have to force myself to go, I sure feel better afterwards. I workout 4-5 times a week.0
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Suggestions:
If you have a stroller for your one year old you could go for a walk together.
I also started freezer cooking on weekends. A few hours work and I end up with a weeks worth of dinners. I just have to remember to take something out of the freezer and put it in the fridge the day before.0 -
I like the sound of that! weeks worth WOW. & thank-you everyone. I have a hard time selecting tasks & putting them in order for myself. I really wonder if i have ADD or not. It's really nice to have suggestions given in a non-condescending manner. I will absolutely refer to this thread in the next few weeks.0
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in the evening i would feed the baby, then bath time, then play with blocks or read her book until she gets sleepy. Can't your boyfriend fix his own plate of food? are you paying bills everyday? and you can not take phone calls for an hour to free up your time.0
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Well, I do agree with everyone saying that you have to MAKE the time. You really do. I am a single mom to a 4 year old and 3 year old, I work 50+ hours a week (I get off at midnight and dont get home til 1 am from the sitter) plus school part time. I have to clean the house, do the laundry, prepare the food, and get 3 people ready every. single. day. It isnt fun. it takes a lot of time. I have virtually no time to do all the fun things I want to do. I never "had the time" to workout until I MADE the time!
The three things I did to start making more workout time were this:
1, i started working out on my lunch break, and it is the best hour of my day! (I understand you dont have a lunch break, but I am just telling you for once you start working full time in the assistant manager job.) Even with eating lunch, you can get in a few minutes of activity.)
2. I turn as many things as I can into "exercise" with my little ones. They LOVE TO SEE MY EXERCISE! It gets them so excited. We dance together, do p90x together, wii fit together, Jillian Micheals workouts together, I make up obstacle courses, whatever to keep us all moving. Even if not everyday, some of your "block/reading" time could be spend doing PHYSICAL activites. Your child will have fun, trust me! (Use your baby as a weight, mine loved that :laugh: ) Mine also enjoy yoga, especially my youngest she has loved it since about 1 1/2 yrs. old.
3. any time I have a few minutes, I do jumping jacks, squats, lunges whatever instead of just standing around.
ETA: Also, there is a humor factor in exercising with your kids, seeing them do their versions of the movements is sooo awesome! :flowerforyou:0
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