Why can't I just do this?! How did you stick with it???
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After losing 70 lbs then gaining 50 of it back, here's what I learned:
The trick is: There IS no trick.
Eat less, move more. Burn more calories than you consume.
I don't WANT to believe this; I don't WANT it to be the only way. But it is.
Wishing, hoping, praying, crying, moaning, burning incense, crossing my fingers, or throwing myself on the floor in a full-fledged tantrum doesn't work. Believe me, I've tried them all.
When I'm honest with myself and I OWN my own body and how I have treated it, I have to face that I didn't get fat overnight; and not once has anyone ever held a gun to my head and said "EAT THAT, DAMMIT." My weight is the sum of my own choices and decisions.
And that's what sucks.
And one reason I use MFP is that, as much as I hate to say it, logging what I eat--even when I'm not proud of it--is the one way I have been found to be completely honest with myself about the simple fact that my weight is the sum of my own choices and decisions.
OWN your disgust! Then JUST DO IT!
YOU CAN DO THIS!0 -
First of all, you gotta love yourself enough to at least try. After that, you find little things that make it a bit easier. For me, it's a (satisfying) nightly snack that I really enjoy and eating at maintenance cals one day a week if I feel the need. That means I can have the things I'm craving as long as I'm "good" for six days. I probably won't have my higher-calorie day every week, but it definitely helps knowing I can if I want to. Fit in the things you like to eat. It's important (even pizza and cheesecake).0
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There is no secret and there is no trick. You just have to want to it. I started out just logging what I was eating (good or bad), when I ate it, and that opened my eyes to where I could make adjustments and also decide if I was really hungry or just bored, or stressed, or upset. You are only accountable to yourself. Good luck to you in finding your way. :flowerforyou:
This. I'm obviously still very very unfit* but until I was able to look at what and how I was eating, I wasn't able to do better. Once I realized the days & times I was likely to binge and emotionally eat, I was able to adjust my decisions. I still have days where I emotionally eat and do poorly - consciously, even -- but they've become fewer as I've been more aware of what goes in my mouth.
The longer I do it, the more natural it becomes.
It also helped to look at my body and focus on the *good* in it. I've got a lot of fat, yes, but the shape underneath it is going to rock when I get it out.
* (I'm 275 and only lasted 6 minutes on my bike for the first time tonight, but **** yeah, that was six minutes I didn't do yesterday.)0 -
You have to want it bad enough. It's a total state of mind.
Working out, although REALLY hard to get into a routine with, is incredibly good for your mood. I feel amazing after a workout and now I find myself looking forward to it almost every day, and the days I feel like I just have NO energy and all I want to do is go home and lay down or hang out on the couch I say to myself 'It's only 20 minutes of working out THEN I can lay down or watch TV.' I suck it up for the 20-30 minutes and afterwards....well I feel 100 times better
)
It is REALLY hard to do if you have been doing the wrong things for so long. I'm an emotional eater and I have arthritis and other medical issues that have made it especially hard for me to get into it, but I've also recently made up my mind that I HAVE to fix this. If I don't do it now, and keep going at the rate I'm going, pretty soon I'll have MORE weight to lose. Enough is enough! A change needed to be made, so here I am.
I feel your pain because I've been there more often than I like to admit. Feel free to add me as a friend or PM me ♥
Bottom line, THE TRICK IS TO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH :flowerforyou:0 -
If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.
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I was feeling the same way as the OP today. All of you that replied have made a difference. You were all so positive and gave such good feedback. Thanks to you all...:flowerforyou:0
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There isn't a trick, but not letting the crappy days overtake you and be the end of you.
I've been at this for about 18 months now. I go for a few weeks/months of being great and sticking to it and then something gets me going and I lose it. I fall apart, secretly snack, am not as motivated to exercise, make excuses and ignore reality.
The I see what MFP friends are doing and I realise that the only person I am cheating is myself and I get back at it.
You're going to fall, but pick yourself up and keep going, keep making yourself a priority and don't give in to the urge that you screwed it up today and yesterday so why not just admit defeat?
Go slowly, take your time and savour the little victories before looking at the big ones.0 -
That is about what it feels like for me. At least I have cut out sweet tea. Talk about southern comfort lol.Maybe you are being too radical, and taking an approach that is not sustainable for you. Healthy eating isn't just skinless grilled chicken and steamed vegetables.
I went by that bodybuilding.com recipe stuff on their beginner workout meal plan is practically that
On EVERY ONE. Its expensive to eat right to. At least for a 23 year old who is on a limited budget. 0 -
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Do you, perhaps, restrict your diet too much during the days that you eat well? You can eat healthily and still indulge a bit, which I think is crucial to being able to sustain good eating habits (for me, anyway). I'm sorry that you are feeling so down... I've been there and I, finally, just got tired of starting over. As for the workouts, don't be so hard on yourself. I have a ways to go, but have lost 22 lbs. and I can tell you that I definitely do not exercise as much as I should. I'm working on it and am having a great time discovering what I 'enjoy' doing and you will, too Feel free to send me a friend request, if you like. My friends on this site are incredible! I wish you success! 0
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Emotional eating is instant gratification.
You have to be able to deny that gratification for the SATISFACTION the comes from achieving your goals (weight loss or whatever). That requires determination and discipline. One of my favorite motivation/affirmations (see my profile for more) is "Discipline is the difference between what I want now and what I want most." You can substitute the word "success" for the word "discipline" and get the same message.
What do you want and how badly do you want it? What are you willing to do to get it? Only you can answer those questions. When you do, you will be on a ready to start making the necessary changes. Or not. Only you can determine that.0 -
You have to get there mentally. Fake it until you make it. You'll get there- keep the faith.0
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Maybe your diet is too strict, and you need to choose something more realistic. I can't eat less than 1,400 Per day, and if I want more I have to work out for it. Instagram motivation pages are helpful. And prepping your meals on Sundays (ESP a ton of cut up healthy fruit and veggies in the fridge and stock easy grab proteins as well.. Grilled chicken, Greek yogurt, etc). Plus turn off the tv. There are food ads every 7 seconds waiting to tempt you. Try to surround yourself with others who are doing it with you. And if you can't do it alone, join a local weight watchers for support. Some people just need the meetings.0
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Thank you all for being so encouraging. I need to make some changes.0
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(I'm 275 and only lasted 6 minutes on my bike for the first time tonight, but **** yeah, that was six minutes I didn't do yesterday.)
This is honestly the best mindset to have. You're not competing with anyone but yourself. Strive every day to do just a little bit better than the day before, whether it's one more rep, or one more minute on your bike, improvement is improvement.0 -
I agree with what was already written. you have to want it more than not wanting it. You also have to realize that it is up to you.
You have the power (and the is how you should view it) to walk away or to indulge. Nothing feels better than walking passed the "treat table" at work.
I love this diary/log of food it helps me to write down everything I think I am going to eat in that day. Seeing it all in front of you BEFORE you eat it makes it easier to rethink choices and see that you may e able to skip one thing to have seconds of another etc etc. I like it for a preview. you feel like you have an undo button.
Good luck. you gotta go easier on yourself and have fun with it. See how much under in each category you can get. Treat your self with respect. You're the only you you have.
A.0 -
IMHO...
You have to "re-train" your mind how to eat. You absolutely CAN'T think of it as a diet. It has to be a way of life.
First... plan plan plan your meals. Begin by finding things you WANT to eat. (I found mine on Pintrest.) I started by making awesome shakes in the morning. I throw in a scoop of protein powder and there is breakfast. I've experimented making all kinds of fabulous salads and wraps. Now I look forward to my new eating. (What is McDonalds!?)
Second... log log log EVERYTHING. This also trained me how to eat. Like... maybe I shouldn't have had that creamer in my coffee.
....and remember.....while eating healthy/clean (or whatever you want to call it) is ideal. A calorie is still a calorie. Doesn't matter if it's a piece of candy or very very large nutrient packed salad.
I understand it's hard to "stick with it"... but I've come to a point where my mind was telling me... "hold yourself accountable. No one is responsible for what you put in your mouth." And if you fall in that category of emotional eating... you HAVE to say good-bye to whatever it is holding you back because food isn't the key to happiness. Happiness is. And in my experience so far is.. nothing taste as good a thin feels.
Hang in there...and one day at a time. Just get through each day. Each day turns into weeks... you get the idea.
Good luck to you... and smile. :flowerforyou:0 -
My suggestion: write down everything that motivates you to want to change. EVERYTHING. Cut out pictures of cute out fits. Anything that inspires you to get started, and make a list of all the reasons you should do it. You have to know that you DO want it, you have to know that you DO deserve it, and you have to know that YOU have to DO it. Then, start. Move more, try to eat better. Crowd out bad things, don't try to omit them all entirely. FIll up on so many good things that you don't have room or time to eat poorly. Don't worry about being perfect. Worry about being better.
I have a great motivational group. We're about to start a transformation challenge. We'd love to have you. Message me and/or add me if you're interested.0 -
You'll have to overcome the emotional before you can get over the hump.
If you eat out of emotional reaction every single time, you'll likely always end up at the same starting point.
If food is always the crutch, you'll continue to let it be so.
Replace food with something else.
This. The way you described your emotions ("depressed and disgusted") sounds like you're stuck in a cycle. You eat because of an emotional reaction, then you feel bad because you overate, so you feel even worse and then you eat even more. It's a negative spiral that you'll have to work to break out of. Your mindset will have to change as you change your eating habits. I know this is easy to say and hard to do, but it's worth it.0 -
Without reading any of the other responses, which I am sure many were helpful - I'll just say this for myself: I drank six, seven and sometimes more Pepsis per day. I ate nothing but high octane crap, meaning if it was bad for you that's what I ate, and a lot of it. I didn't eat lots of small meals. I saved up and ate one big one at night, and then I ate even more right before I went to bed. Candy, doughnuts, red meat by the pound, etc.
All these things I made very half-*kitten* efforts to stop at one point or another. They all failed. I was never afraid of the work I had to put in, in regard to the workouts. I never had a problem with that. But the damn diet was kicking my *kitten* all over the place, because I couldn't stop doing those things that were hampering my progress.
So, I said the hell with stopping. Instead, I limited myself - little-by-little. I found out too many other times that if I tried quitting something cold turkey, I would only end up going back to doing it and in the case of my diet, I'd binge for awhile. It was almost always how this would end. So, I kept eating what I was eating and drinking, but in smaller portions. One big meal turned into a couple decent sized meals. Seven pepsis eventually became one. I never gave any one thing up completely, because for me, that's potentially dangerous.
The odd thing was, the less fast food I ate, the less I wanted it. The longer period of time I ate small meals - those began to fill me up and big meals would just not sit right. Like a strain in my gut, because my stomach was obviously shrinking a bit from not having to contain half a cow every time I sat at a table.
Even Pepsi, which next to a medium rare ribeye, is my favorite thing to ingest - is something I have gone a whole day and even two without drinking and because of all the water I drink now I hardly miss it. But I still have one, which is a lot better than seven.
Some people can just quit. They can just quit eating sweets. They can just quit drinking pop. They can just quit smoking or whatever. I can't. I needed to pace myself, because that's how I needed to do it. But thus far it has worked for me, and I don't often wake up in the middle of the night with cravings. If I do, I chug a big glass of ice cold water and they're gone.
I have been on and off the weight-loss bandwagon more times than I care to count. I always fell off for the same reason: I went nuts for awhile, did everything I was supposed to do, entirely quit everything I wasn't and it ended every time about as you might expect.
When I decided that gradual moderation was what was going to work, son of a gun if I haven't stuck to it and actually made progress that doesn't feel like it's a house of cards waiting to fall down. It feels like I actually worked out of some bad habits and into some good ones. And that's how I have stuck to it....thus far.
As you know, the battle never ends. I just look forward to each day it gets a bit easier...because it does.0 -
There is no "KEY" I have found but here are a few things that I have worked on.
1. Prepping my food - I shop one day a week and then cut up all of my vegies, fruit, cook my meats ect. I will buy a 10 pound bag of chicken breast, cook them on the george forman, and then chop it all up and put 6 ounces in a sandwich bag inside of a gallon ziptop and into the freezer. I do similar things with fruit and vegies and whole grain pastas, brown rice ect.
2. I fill a gallon jar with lemon & Lime slices and water and put in the fridge....thats becomes my goal to drink it all in one day.
3. I started out (and got these ideas) from the reshape the nation website (Chris Powell from Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition). In his plan he gives you a menu and a video with excersise. When I first started losing weight again abbout a year ago I really needed this website. I needed it all lined out and someone telling me what to do. This past year consisted of a massive snow storm (unheard of on the Oregon coast) which caused 50,000 in damages to my new house which I had only had for 10 months, a pregnancy, a miscarriage, a full hysterectomy, my gramma breaking her hip and going in assisted living, cleaning out her house to sell it and to top it off the docs telling me my cancer was back...which it ended up not being but I had to go clear to seattle to find that out due to lack of docs here)...ANYWAY....with all of this going on my goal became not necessarily to lose but to maintain...sometimes that has to be the goal.
Everything everyone said about your mind set and not getting overwhelmed is spot on. If I sit down and try to figure out how, what when and where and all of that I get overwhelmed and give up. Try concentrating on one thing...Week one make it your food, week 2 add in making sure you are getting enough water and then week 3 add in a daily walk. By the end of week three you will feel AMAZING and then week 4 start incorporating it all together and my suggestion would be to NOT WEIGH...take a phot of yourself on the first day and then again on day 30 and compare them. If you see a difference (which you will) you will have ALL the motivation in the world you need. Its pretty helpful too that at about this point people are going to start telling you how much better you look. One of my favorite things is that I got down 1 size in my jeans (18 to 16) and when I put those 16's on my husband said "Damn your A** is looking good!" That and the promise of a tummy tuch and theigh suck when I reach my goal.....maybe I will throw in some boobies too...LOL
This probably all sounds silly since my weight tracker says I have only lost 3 pounds but here is some background on me. I was a mother at 19, a widow at 20 and diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma at 30. I fought the cancer for about 8 years. During my radiation I gained 65 pounds do to the medication. I lost ALL of that and last May when I had the hysterectomy I walked into the hopital at 218 and I am at 192 right now. This last year was pure hell...but my small loss feel great!
I am always looking for weight loss buddies and would love for anyone to friend me to talk. I live in the boonies and am home all day most of the time so I am here to chat whenever!!
Good Luck....One small step at a time!!!0 -
I just replied the same thing on another post but something just clicked and I knew it was time.0
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pYou have to decide you are actually ready. It's one thing to want to lose weight but its another to be mentally prepared to do it. It won't happen and you won't be able to stick with it if you are not 100% mentally ready. If you can't stick with it for longer than a couple days you are not mentally ready.
^^ this0 -
Don't try to do everything at once.
Set yourself some achievable starting goals.
Start with accurately logging everything that goes in your mouth for 3 days.
See more suggestions at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/how-to-use-myfitnesspal-427993
Good luck!0 -
I disagree with most of the posts here that say there is no trick and that you just have to tough it out. If that's all there were to this, none of us would ever have gotten fat in the first place. Instead, I think the "secret" if you want to call it that is to STOP trying to overhaul your diet and exercise plan overnight! This whole idea you have that you have to "stick to it" (whatever "it" is), is the problem.
Instead, make slow, small, sustainable changes until those changes are your some of your good habits. For example, maybe for the first 2-3 weeks, simply decide to drink one less sugar sweetened soda a day. Once this habit sticks, maybe you eliminate one more soda. Next, maybe for a month, you swear off potato chips and sub in low fat popcorn instead. Next, maybe you make a habit of walking at lunch. I think you get the idea here. Currently you're trying to completely overhaul your diet and activity level and it's simply too much. Adjust this process of adding in new good habits to the rate that works for you, just remember that slow and steady wins the race, not the person that loses quickly, only to regain it all. This is for life. Treat it like such.0 -
you don't want it bad enough if you have to ask this question...
when you want it, its just what you do...its not about setting a goal, reaching it and then going back to what you did before....0 -
Hang in there! I'm dieting with a friend...she lost 10 lbs, I have only lost 5 lbs over the past 5 weeks. We keep telling each other that we are competing with ourselves and as long as we are going in the right direction its all good. I just came off a week of vacation that did not go well! She continued to drop lbs, I gained a pound! The good news is I am down 4 lbs from where I started !
Set backs are normal...just pick yourself up and identify what gets you off track. For me, its the 3:00 to 5:00 hours.
Boredom or snacking with the kids, I do not know....but I know its my time to watch out!0 -
That is about what it feels like for me. At least I have cut out sweet tea. Talk about southern comfort lol.Maybe you are being too radical, and taking an approach that is not sustainable for you. Healthy eating isn't just skinless grilled chicken and steamed vegetables.
I went by that bodybuilding.com recipe stuff on their beginner workout meal plan is practically that On EVERY ONE. Its expensive to eat right to. At least for a 23 year old who is on a limited budget.
I have macro targets and I'm trying to build muscle. But I don't eat the extreme, boring "contest prep" style bodybuilding diets, or refer to anything I eat as a "cheat meal." LOL.0 -
I know it is my diet but how do you stick to eating healthy??? I eat emotionally too. I am just so absolutely disgusted and depressed!!! I haven't exercised regularly in a week ...
Sorry for the vent. I am just so down tonight.
I've been where you are right now, and I know I'll be there again. I was crying into my pillow one night and finally just asked God for the answer. After just being quiet for a while, a had the thought, "just walk." It was so simple, but it was exactly what I needed to do. If I'm not exercising, I'm incapable of having the right frame of mind to stick to a healthy eating plan. Without some kind of exercise, I get slightly depressed and my impulse control is compromised. When I exercise, it's like the fog lifts and I'm a better version of myself.
I hope this, or someone else's answer will help you. I know how miserable it is when you feel incapable of change. You ARE capable - you can do it!!0 -
Well said!I disagree with most of the posts here that say there is no trick and that you just have to tough it out. If that's all there were to this, none of us would ever have gotten fat in the first place. Instead, I think the "secret" if you want to call it that is to STOP trying to overhaul your diet and exercise plan overnight! This whole idea you have that you have to "stick to it" (whatever "it" is), is the problem.
Instead, make slow, small, sustainable changes until those changes are your some of your good habits. For example, maybe for the first 2-3 weeks, simply decide to drink one less sugar sweetened soda a day. Once this habit sticks, maybe you eliminate one more soda. Next, maybe for a month, you swear off potato chips and sub in low fat popcorn instead. Next, maybe you make a habit of walking at lunch. I think you get the idea here. Currently you're trying to completely overhaul your diet and activity level and it's simply too much. Adjust this process of adding in new good habits to the rate that works for you, just remember that slow and steady wins the race, not the person that loses quickly, only to regain it all. This is for life. Treat it like such.
ETA:
By the way, it's easier to start a new habit that interferes with an old one, than to just stop an old one without something to take its place.0
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