I feel like I'm never going to get there...

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I have a lot of weight to loose. I have been using food as a coping tool for a long, long time. Now I find myself at 380lbs. That was hard to type. Three Hundred and Eighty. That means, in order to get to my ideal weight I have 215lbs to loose. OMG. The number is daunting. I get tired working out for like five minutes. Walking up stairs sucks. I feel TRAPPED in my body.

Does anyone have any tips? Emotional, or otherwise? Loosing this weight isnt just about wanting to look better, it for me, is about learning how to cope in another way shedding my past and moving on with my life.
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Replies

  • Cheese_fiend
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    Hey there,
    I know it's a cliche thing to say, but you can do anything if you put your mind too it. What I do when I'm feeling low and unmotivated is I seek out motivation from pictures, fitness/weightloss magazines, and pictures of myself and ask myself If i want to be overweight. Obviously the answer is no, so even though some days I just do not want to go to the gym, I tell myself it's the only thing that's going to shed those pounds. The message boards are also a great source of support and inspirational :o) just give yourself lots of reminders to keep yourself on track, and have small goals at first, i.e. by May 1st you want to of lost 14 pounds, or something! And everytime you reach a goal, treat yourself! Then move onto the next. Just little suggestions so i'm sorry if this doesn't help you much, best of luck :) stay positive xxx
  • famousmel
    famousmel Posts: 149 Member
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    I feel like I'm never going to get there either, and I have 60lbs to lose. A good tool for me when I REALLY feel like I'm going to quit is to look a year ahead. Would I rather be30,20, or even 10 lbs lighter, or would I rather put on 10-15lbs like I've been doing the last 3 years. Even at a 10lb loss, that's a 20lb difference!! So even if it takes me 5 years to get to my goal, I'll be 150 instead of 260.
    If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got...
    Most of this is one day at a time, but sometimes the big pic is good too.
    Best of luck to you.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    i know it can feel like that, but the weight loss adds up quickly, just as the weight gains do! consider a 1 month time period. even if you only lose 2-3 pounds, thats 4-6 pounds away from the 2-3 pounds you may have gained by not taking control of your eating and diet habits! its adds up quickly! just keep going, you will be so happy you did!!!
  • abetterbrandi
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    I feel like maybe I should start a personal journal or something and force myself to take time out of the day to write in it. I think a big part of my weight gain was just due to pouring all of my problems into food. It sounds so pathetic but it is what it is.

    Also, outside of walking on a treadmill (which I have at home now) what are some other exercises for someone of my weight? Just keep pushing each day to walk a little more?
  • NJL13500
    NJL13500 Posts: 433 Member
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    I did not have as much to lose as you do, but I did manage to lose 100 pounds from my heaviest weight and transform my body. I took it a step at a time. I started at 232. My first goal was to get to 225. Then 210. Then under 200. I tried to set 10 pound goals for myself. My original goal weight was 145. Once I got there I realized I could still do a bit more and got down to my high school weight and a smaller size than what I thought was possible for me. I logged every day no matter how bad it was.

    I'm sure that exercise will be hard at first and you will have to try things that won't hurt your body. Start small and work your way up. The "good" news is that you will get a pretty big loss at first just by changing your diet.

    Stick with it. There are so many great people on this site who have gone through what you need to do. Come to the boards for inspiration like you did.

    Good luck to you!
  • Saree1902
    Saree1902 Posts: 611 Member
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    Break it up into chunks, and reward yourself for each chunk lost. E.g. for each 10 lb lost, treat yourself to a massage. After dropping a couple of dress sizes, get some new clothes.

    Also, find non-food ways of dealing with things. Maybe exercise, a trashy magazine, a mindless action movie... Painting your nails can be therapeutic and if you have wet, pretty nails, you can't open the fridge for a while! :smile:

    Good luck and take it a bit at a time...you can do it! :flowerforyou:
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Don't worry about the destination and enjoy the journey. If you can exercise for 5 minutes today try to make it 6 tomorrow, 7 the next day and so on. Set a new goal for each day and make them fairly easy. Today replace 1/2 of your usual soda with water then try to increase. Keep the high calorie bad for you stuff out of the house. If you really want it you have to make a trip to get it and only get a small portion. Emotionally journaling has helped me a lot. It gets the garbage out of your head. Instead of reaching for a snack reach for your pen and write down what you are feeling and why you really REALLY want to eat a pint of ice cream. Take it one day at a time. Good luck.
  • maegmez
    maegmez Posts: 341 Member
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    I started out the same way. I had 130 pounds to lose! Yikes. At the beginning it just seemed unreal. But now it seems unreal that I'm only 12 pounds away from losing 100!!!!

    Break everything down into manageable mini goals. That has really helped me.

    My next goals:

    Drop 12 pounds to lose 100 pounds before bible week!
    14 more pounds to get me in the normal weight range!
    Then about 20 more and I will be at goal.


    You can break it down by easy round numbers and figuring out how many pounds it will take to get out of each obese class and then overweight to healthy weight. Using both can give you goal accomplishments that land on top of each other and that really helps with motivation.

    You got this in the bag!

    Edited to add that my ticker needs updating
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    I feel like maybe I should start a personal journal or something and force myself to take time out of the day to write in it. I think a big part of my weight gain was just due to pouring all of my problems into food. It sounds so pathetic but it is what it is.

    Also, outside of walking on a treadmill (which I have at home now) what are some other exercises for someone of my weight? Just keep pushing each day to walk a little more?

    i used to drive around the parking lot for 20 minutes, looking for the closest parking spot... now i drive to the back of the parking lot, no matter where i go... there is always a spot, and it adds some extra steps to my day! DANCE! if im home, alone, i throw some music on, get my cleaning crap out, and dance my house clean! sometimes at night, while im watching the tv, i get the urge to do some floor exercises while im watching tv... anything that gets you moving, will help!
  • Check out this girls blog http://funeralformyfat.tumblr.com/ read her questions/tabs, she may just be the motivation you need! :-)
  • BohemianCoast
    BohemianCoast Posts: 349 Member
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    What I've done:

    I never, ever think about losing 109 pounds. I think about the ten pounds I'm currently working on; because I reckon I can lose ten pounds. And I've done that five times so far and I'm working on the sixth.

    I enjoy the journey; I try not to restrict my calories so much that I get really hungry, or sad that I can't eat.

    I pay attention to how it's going -- I started feeling better in myself once I'd lost about 15 pounds; after about 20 my closest relatives who knew I was logging could tell that I was looking thinner, at about 35 pounds people started saying "hey, I like your hair" or "you're looking great" and at about 50 pounds a lot of people noticed.

    If I lose a pound a week, I think 'huh, well, in a year I'll pretty well be at goal" rather than "oh noes only a pound I have so many".

    I don't beat myself up if I stuff up for a day or two, just get back on the train when I can.

    I try to take some exercise every single day, even if it's only a little walking -- and yes, I tried to push to do a bit more than the previous day for the first few months. I started with walking, with step (just stepping up and down on the Wii Fit board while watching TV), and Wii games like Dance Dance Revolution and Walk it Out and so on. Now I do dance, badminton, cycling and running. And a bit of swimming and strength work.

    There are some great threads here for people with loads to lose around here. It's worth finding one of those to hang out in.
  • misifer
    misifer Posts: 114 Member
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    You can do this! Like others said, set mini goals and give yourself HEALTHY rewards. Maybe after 25 lbs you buy yourself a Fitbit. YES, just start walking. You will be amazed at what happens. When I started I walked for 30 minutes, then I wanted more so I walked an hour, then I wanted more so I went to the gym and rode the bike and lift weights. Do not focus on the end goal right now, instead focus on 10 lbs. You also need to really come to terms with the fact that this will probably take a couple years to do. This was the hardest part for me to wrap my head around. Once I truly understood that this is a lifestyle change, and will take over a year to get to where I want to be, it helped me to set realistic goals. Go read the success stories. Read them EVERY day to stay motivated. It helps to be reminded that it's worth all of the hard work!

    I also recommend that you don't drop to a super low calorie diet. Start tracking and see what you are eating. Then make small changes to work yourself down to a deficit. Let's say you burn 3000 calories a day just sitting around, eating at 2500 will provide around 1lb/week loss. You can lose weight without starving, I promise!!
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    I am already there!

    I haven't had McDonalds in four months.
    I get at least five serving of fruits and veggies every day.
    I have worked out almost every day for three and a half months.

    I am just waiting for the scale to catch up.

    In the meantime, I focus on nutrition and fitness goals.
    This week, my nutrition goals were set by a challenge here on MFP and are just based on tracking. Turns out I drink 20 cups of water on a regular basis!
    My fitness goals are: 1) get back to my strength routine four times a week; 2) build up the strength to do full push-ups (mini goal of ten consecutive girlie ups); 3) improve all of my scores on a fitness test I took last weekend.
  • abetterbrandi
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    Wow thank you all for the tips and support. I need to do this. I am SO TIRED of avoiding social situations because of fear of being judged or not fitting in certain chairs. Basically, I just dont want to feel trapped anymore. Its a horrible feeling and I need to do this. I will do this. No more excuses, or falling off the wagon. I'm 24 and I have a whole life to live. I do NOT want to do it like this.
  • sweetsarahv
    sweetsarahv Posts: 180 Member
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    don't look at the big picture! you are right...thinking about losing that much weight IS daunting. Just don't go there. Do 10 or even 5 pounds at a time. Set small goals. And remember that this is a journey. Commit and just know that it WILL take time, but it will be SO worth it in the end.

    I had 100 pounds to lose and have gotten off 65. Trust me, I have quit at a lot of things over the years. IF I CAN STICK WITH IT, ANYONE CAN!!!!!
  • ddky
    ddky Posts: 381 Member
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    Ok. So you need to lose 215 pounds. If you don't do something, then next year you will need to lose 230 pounds. You don't have to lose it all at once. Look at some of the success stories where they post pictures along the way. Every 30 or 40 pounds makes a big difference. It will make an even bigger difference to your knees and joints. Just set your first goal and get started. Do it for yourself and for the people who are worried about you. Good luck.
  • cwaters120
    cwaters120 Posts: 354 Member
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    YOU CAN DO IT! Just break your total goal into smaller goals! Don't concentrate on the ultimate goal - focus on the smaller goals. Tick each one off and tackle the next one. So you get tired after five minutes of exercise. Do the five minutes. Lengthen it to 7 then 10 then - well, you get the idea, but keep moving! Log everyday, stay within your calories, and make wiser choices (you get more that way) and eat small meals more often to space it all out over the day. YOU CAN DO IT! :drinker:

    Feel free to add me if you're up to accountability and support :bigsmile:
  • tubbytwilek
    tubbytwilek Posts: 9 Member
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    I have a lot of weight to loose. I have been using food as a coping tool for a long, long time. Now I find myself at 380lbs. That was hard to type. Three Hundred and Eighty. That means, in order to get to my ideal weight I have 215lbs to loose. OMG. The number is daunting. I get tired working out for like five minutes. Walking up stairs sucks. I feel TRAPPED in my body.

    Does anyone have any tips? Emotional, or otherwise? Loosing this weight isnt just about wanting to look better, it for me, is about learning how to cope in another way shedding my past and moving on with my life.

    When I started I was at 370 lbs - I am down to 329 at the moment and my goal is 185...so I know what you are going through...
    here are some ideas - if you are able to join a gym that has water aerobics that is a good way to start...while you may way 380 on land you weight much much less in water so it doesn't stress your joints, but it is still a workout, make sure to take water with you, you still sweat while working out in the water

    If the gym isn't an option...do however many minutes you can do, then take a break, when you feel up to it again do another round of however many minutes you can do

    the biggest thing, stay under your calorie goal, make smart choices, and drink LOTS of water...it will help with hunger

    also, I started a blog, as a way to hold myself accountable and to just vent anything on my mind...it can really help and there are several sites that let you do a free one...I think this site has one too
  • JessicaN1979
    JessicaN1979 Posts: 142 Member
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    I set small realistic goals and this helps. I have a lot to lose and it will seem like it takes forever, but getting overweight did not happen over night for me, so I try to be realistic in knowing that I won't lose it over night.

    I highly recommend starting out with 5-10 minute workouts a few times a day and then working up in 5 minute increments as you feel you can do it. It gets easier. I remember when walking up a flight of stairs caused me to be out of breath. I remember when tying my shoes was challenging. That was only 45 pounds ago. I was miserable however and I could barely exercise for 15-20 minutes and now I am up to a 60 minute workout usually 5 times a week.

    I just started taking Zumba (have been to 3 classes) and it gets easier each class. Never give up! You can do it and it can only be done in small steps, but just keep saying "This will totally be worth it", because it will. Keep your head up and know that every 5 or 10 minutes of exercise you do will be helpful. :happy:
  • tubbytwilek
    tubbytwilek Posts: 9 Member
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    I feel like maybe I should start a personal journal or something and force myself to take time out of the day to write in it. I think a big part of my weight gain was just due to pouring all of my problems into food. It sounds so pathetic but it is what it is.

    Also, outside of walking on a treadmill (which I have at home now) what are some other exercises for someone of my weight? Just keep pushing each day to walk a little more?

    as far as exercises you can do that really depends on your body and what it can do...try different things and see if you can manage them without hurting yourself...and baby steps

    even at my weight I can manage the elliptical...first i started out for like 10 minutes, now i can push myself up to an hour some days, also swimming is pretty easy to do, and the stationary bikes