Relationships built on your weight?

kickstartpro
kickstartpro Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started a vegan diet two weeks ago and lost 7 pounds I have 87 pounds to reach my goal weight. I am noticing that as my confidence levels go up that my sister does not like it. I actually never realized this before, or I think I was in denial about it. I use food to block out my feelings. My sisters say they want what is best for me but they don't like to see me happy? This is so strange to me. Also I realized a lot of my low self-confidence issues actually come from my family! It hurts me so much to sense these feelings coming from my sister. She is competitive and jealous. This is strange to me because I have never felt these feelings towards her. How do people deal with this? I feel if this continues then my relationship with her might break down. This makes me sad to realize that so much of our relating was based on my weight being used to make her feel better.

Replies

  • Streamlinedforlife
    Streamlinedforlife Posts: 39
    First off, you need to look at weight loss from a health standpoint. You need to lose weight for yourself and not for your sister or anyone else. The fact that she is jealous over your weight loss is indeed sad. But you need to do what you need to do for your happiness and success. Food is there to nourish you and give you energy. Not for recreation or therapy. Overeating will not make you happier and it will not fix your problems. Good luck and steer clear of negativity.
  • NadiaSAKloof
    NadiaSAKloof Posts: 19 Member
    The previous post is true. You need to look after YOU now! It is sad the way your sister is behaving, but I think it is only natural to feel a BIT jealous, but only if she herself is overweight. I know I feel a tinge of jealousy when my sister (who has always been slim) is looking good, BUT I am also very proud of her and she works at it. I am the lazy one! Having said that, I love my sister to bits and looks (good or bad) would never affect our love for each other. Maybe she just has to get used to you looked good. Don't stress about it and certainly do not allow it to affect your diet/exercise plan.

    Best of luck and feel free to add me as a friend for encouragement, which we all need! x
  • AmyMgetsfit
    AmyMgetsfit Posts: 636 Member
    My sister is competitive and it is important to her to be the one that looks the best and has the hottest husband etc. When she first started dating him 38 years ago, it was important to her that I thought he was cute, she would ask me twice a day. She likes to feed fattening treats to everyone else, but she won't eat it. She eats a leaf of lettuce about every 2 days. OK, that part may be an exaggeration, but not by much. Anyway we have always been close and even lived a block from one another until my husband and I retired and moved away. She is now 1400 miles away, I haven't seen her in 2 years. I talk to her on the phone and we email back and forth all the time. In spite of everything, we do have a close relationship. But I have yet to tell her that I have lost almost 25lbs. I plan on seeing her this summer and just surprising her. That will go over real well. I will never hear the end of it. She needs time to plan to make sure she looks the best. When she last saw me, it would not have taken any effort for her to look better and that is how she thinks I still look. I still need to lose another 20lbs. I haven't even told her I quit drinking coke. Oh and in case you haven't guessed by now, we are in our 50's. So it probably never stops.
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member
    But I have yet to tell her that I have lost almost 25lbs. I plan on seeing her this summer and just surprising her. That will go over real well. I will never hear the end of it. She needs time to plan to make sure she looks the best. When she last saw me, it would not have taken any effort for her to look better and that is how she thinks I still look. I still need to lose another 20lbs. I haven't even told her I quit drinking coke. Oh and in case you haven't guessed by now, we are in our 50's. So it probably never stops.

    I wish I could be there :laugh:

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