Frustrated... (a rant about those who try to sabotage you)

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Learning2LoveMe
Learning2LoveMe Posts: 1,430 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
What the hell is with everyone I know trying to sabotage my efforts? I just got yelled at by a "friend"/co-worker for bringing my lunch in again, I've brought it everyday this week and he's the type who hits up fast food everyday for lunch. We normally eat together, so whats the big deal if I bring my lunch? We still have lunch together!

My fiance talked me into dinner last night at Fuddruckers. I spent a couple hours figuring out what I could have without totally blowing my efforts out of the water while still being able to enjoy my "cheat meal" (I am allowing myself one "cheat meal" a week otherwise I'd prolly go crazy). Then he calls me at work today and asks if we are gonna go get frybread today (we used to get frybread every friday) and I told him no since he had talked me into dinner last night... and he got all upset about it.

Why is everyone trying to break me down? This is week 1 for me and already everyone has gone crazy! So frustrating!!
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Replies

  • jerren
    jerren Posts: 196
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    I call these people " Food Pushers." lol

    I try my best to avoid these situations. My wife used to be one of my dealers. She has finally started cooking more healthily. All others I just don't do it.
  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
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    You stick to what you want to do and let them all whine on ,your doing this for yourself and no one else ,good for you taking in your lunches and not being sidetracked .
    You will feel so much better for sticking to your plans :smile:
  • treasurep
    treasurep Posts: 88 Member
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    Keep your head up. I also work with people who go out everyday for lunch. The boss even buys pizza on Friday's. But I sat here eatting my salad and felt good about it. It's going to be tough to stick to your guns but you'll be able to, if you remember your going to be healthier and happier for it.
    This is a great place to ask advice or just rant. We've all been thru it in one way or another. We'll support you no matter if you eat great or slip up every once in a while.
  • sngnyrslp
    sngnyrslp Posts: 315 Member
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    You're doing great, keep it up! I think when people see us trying to eat well and be healthy, it forces them to take a look at themselves and they way they're treating their bodies. A lot of people would rather be blissfully ignorant and your GREAT choices make that tough. Just power through it, because you're doing what's right for your body and your happiness and that's fantastic!
  • jennylynn84
    jennylynn84 Posts: 659
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    This is week 1 for you. They'll take time to adjust to the fact that this is a complete change from your life before. My parents used to complain that they didn't feel like they could have me and my husband over for dinner anymore because we couldn't eat "anything good." Eventually, we showed them that it was entirely possible to make family dinners that didn't have to break our whole plan. In fact, after long enough, they got on the diet bandwagon too.

    Once people see that you ARE serious and this is not going to change, most of the time they will let it go. But you have to stand firm. If they are always able to talk you into cheating they'll keep trying to talk you into it. Tell your fiance if the frybread tradition is important to him, then you can keep going to that, but that has to be the ONLY time you cheat. That would be your weekly treat and that's it, except for special occasions.

    My other stipulation to friends and family is that, fine, I will go out and we can eat and drink or whatever. But I have to know far enough in advance that day that I can plan the rest of my food and make time to work out and earn some additional calories. For the most part they have been accepting of it.

    And once you're rocking some serious progress that really shows in how you look and your mood and energy, I think it gets hard for people to argue that you're the crazy one!

    Good luck!
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
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    Most people hate change and they fight it.

    Plus, some people get validation of their choices by hanging out with others who make the same choices. So just you making different choices than them -- bringing lunch instead of eating fast food -- makes them feel like their own choices are being challenged. Even if you aren't challenging their choices at all.
  • sorellabella
    sorellabella Posts: 133 Member
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    Totally keep sticking to your plan I agree that they are food pushers. Just stick to your guns, I always research menus at these places to find something I can eat that is healthier or even eat half a portion. I get sucked in to but my motive is greater than theirs :laugh: Hang in there!! You may even see their habits changing.:flowerforyou:
  • CFAITH_WARD
    CFAITH_WARD Posts: 281 Member
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    Keep doing what you are doing and at some point all the people around you will get it.......My husband used to order pizza every other day.....Now he doesn't anymore....It is just hard to get to the point that yopu can say no....it gets easier...Just you mind on you goal.....Ask your husband if he wants a hot chick on his arm then say I can't eat that.........It takes 21 days to make a new habit...Think of what you want (to look hot, to be healthy, whatever) not what you cannot eat. Good luck.
  • coronalime
    coronalime Posts: 583 Member
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    You also have to remember that you have sat down and decided to make a life change. This change does not effect just you. Friends, family and hubbys etc are "forced" to make a change towards you or with you as well.
    So give them time. Instead of saying no to going out to a place maybe suggest a healthier place. One you can look up online and check calories. People get tired of hearing calorie counts, work outs etc when they are not on the same path and dont want to see or hear how unhealthy their choices are as well. We have issues with drinking here in this house. After dinner wine/beer with snacks and watch TV before bed. Its been a ritual for YEARS and DH doesnt want to sit and watch TV drinking alone...so we battle it out and we have compromised some. Its hard.
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    You know I have an office full like that but instead of telling them I'm on a diet I just tell them that I'm packing my lunch to save money. It's ok to be on a money diet for some reason. Then there is one lady who gets soooo jealous every time someone in the office loses weight. Make me not want to talk about my successes at all...but I have you guys for that :heart:
  • Will_Lift_4_Shoes
    Will_Lift_4_Shoes Posts: 238 Member
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    Great job for saying no!! That is such a huge obstacle for me. Find a friend you can do this with either here on the site or a friend you hang out with that needs to lose some weight. I have a friend who is working on this with me. We just email or call each other to say that we have done the workout or if we totally blew the calories for the day among other successes. This website is a huge help too. Super easy to use. keep up the great work!!
  • Jenks
    Jenks Posts: 349
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    Stay strong!!! They may eventually come around. I work in an office that constantly has food for one reason or another. When I was getting ready to change departments I dreaded my "going away" lunch. To my surprise they all brought something healthy in to eat, they even brought a fruit bowl instead of a cake.
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    Hoping you can be strong and block the cynic in others; they really are just being so selfish. Pack that lunch every day and just smile at the guy as he woofs down a 3000 calorie fast food meal, knowing you have made the better choice. Hoping you can have a sit down with your significant other and indicate how strongly you feel about your wanting to lose weight and needing his support (which marriage is all about!!!!!!). It is not like you are asking him to change his eating habits, just be encouraging of yours. Hang tough and keep your eyes on the prize - a more healthy, and fit Y O U!!!!! All of the cynics in your life will be WOWed if you just stick with YOUR plan!
  • lmr9
    lmr9 Posts: 628 Member
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    No kidding - I can totally relate to this. Everyone in my (small) office knows I'm trying to lose weight. One chick brought in cup cakes last week - I didn't eat any. Then yesterday we are at lunch - that same co-worker and another associate. The associate is treating us to lunch and after we had eaten our entrees asks if we want dessert. I politely decline, but tell them to go ahead and not let me stop them. So they did. And these two GIANT desserts arrive at our table with 3 spoons. They whole time they are pressuring me to eat some, and I keep politely declining - but by this point I'm starting to get frustrated that they keep asking. Just eat your food and leave me out of it. Why would you do that to someone who's dieting? You wouldn't do that to an alcoholic? They probably felt guilty and wanted me to joint their indulgence party. NO SUCH LUCK!! I left lunch feeling like I was the bad guy because I wasn't eating any. Whatever.

    Anyway - I'm GLAD I didn't eat any. Thanks for listening to me vent!! :flowerforyou:
  • stressd1mom
    stressd1mom Posts: 151 Member
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    Since this is new to you, it is also new to them as well. Just be assertive & stick to your guns. It is a learning period for everyone. Good luck!
  • nebgurl
    nebgurl Posts: 23 Member
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    I started out much like this in the beginning- 31 lbs less they are all wondering what I did to get off the weight- LOL. Stay strong and true to yourself. It will pay off. I've found over the last few weeks that if I let people know that I am watching what I eat they generally try to help out. Of course, there is actually the challenge of REFUSING the food and sticking to what you've brought for lunch that day. That's the home run hit. Yesterday for example- I'd brought my lunch and my hubby wanted to go to lunch in the cafeteria. I politely got up and went to the breakroom, warmed my food and took it to the cafeteria! You should have seen the look on his face.... By the end of the meal he said, "hmmm,.. that's not a bad idea. Could save us some money! Stick with it, gurl- It's soooo worth it!
  • _Bunnytown
    _Bunnytown Posts: 110 Member
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    i agree that these people can pull you down the wrong path but perhaps your boyfriend isnt upset about you saying no to frybread with him but rather that it was something special the two of you did together and he doesnt want to give up on that time. i say yes go with him for frybread enjoy a taste of his and dont get one for yourself and talk about other things you two can do together on friday's to keep him feeling just as special as he always was. dont be too hard on him, now lunch buddy is just bogus with his outlook on the situation. dont fret yourself over it. good luck!
  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Perhpas you need to have a talk about this journey you are on to gain additional support and work out the details so there is a general understanding. For example, you could both decide to go out to dinner once per week - his choice - frybread or other. The only other alternative is to go to both and order something healtier so he can have his frybread. You do not have to partake in what he is eating! If you do order something with additional calories you just have to exercise more that day (or the following morning) in order to work it off! Good luck! Don't let the non-supporters get you down!
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    In the end, this is for you, and especially your Fiance needs to realize this and be more supportive
  • rmwilliams0519
    rmwilliams0519 Posts: 35
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    I feel your pain..... my husband is 6' 1" and 140 he eats and snacks all day long and poor him can't gain weight. He works out on a ranch so that doesn't help him either, I cook 2 meals a lot one for him and one for me, he eats all the healthy stuff i do but sometime he still wants pizza and fried mushrooms and ice cream

    i remember when i started my in-laws gave me a hard time becuase they just don't care and they still make comments from time to time about what i'm eating. i use to bring my own food to their dinners becuase they never had any healthy choices and i'd walk away hungry and end up eating again after I left.

    Stay strong yuo can do it, its funny I was just eating my lunch thinking the same thing about food sabotagers. Friday night use to be pizza night for us.

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