Frustrated... (a rant about those who try to sabotage you)

I call these people " Food Pushers." lol

I try my best to avoid these situations. My wife used to be one of my dealers. She has finally started cooking more healthily. All others I just don't do it.

Keep your head up. I also work with people who go out everyday for lunch. The boss even buys pizza on Friday's. But I sat here eatting my salad and felt good about it. It's going to be tough to stick to your guns but you'll be able to, if you remember your going to be healthier and happier for it.
This is a great place to ask advice or just rant. We've all been thru it in one way or another. We'll support you no matter if you eat great or slip up every once in a while.

This is week 1 for you. They'll take time to adjust to the fact that this is a complete change from your life before. My parents used to complain that they didn't feel like they could have me and my husband over for dinner anymore because we couldn't eat "anything good." Eventually, we showed them that it was entirely possible to make family dinners that didn't have to break our whole plan. In fact, after long enough, they got on the diet bandwagon too.

Once people see that you ARE serious and this is not going to change, most of the time they will let it go. But you have to stand firm. If they are always able to talk you into cheating they'll keep trying to talk you into it. Tell your fiance if the frybread tradition is important to him, then you can keep going to that, but that has to be the ONLY time you cheat. That would be your weekly treat and that's it, except for special occasions.

My other stipulation to friends and family is that, fine, I will go out and we can eat and drink or whatever. But I have to know far enough in advance that day that I can plan the rest of my food and make time to work out and earn some additional calories. For the most part they have been accepting of it.

And once you're rocking some serious progress that really shows in how you look and your mood and energy, I think it gets hard for people to argue that you're the crazy one!

Good luck!

Totally keep sticking to your plan I agree that they are food pushers. Just stick to your guns, I always research menus at these places to find something I can eat that is healthier or even eat half a portion. I get sucked in to but my motive is greater than theirs :laugh: Hang in there!! You may even see their habits changing.:flowerforyou:

You also have to remember that you have sat down and decided to make a life change. This change does not effect just you. Friends, family and hubbys etc are "forced" to make a change towards you or with you as well.
So give them time. Instead of saying no to going out to a place maybe suggest a healthier place. One you can look up online and check calories. People get tired of hearing calorie counts, work outs etc when they are not on the same path and dont want to see or hear how unhealthy their choices are as well. We have issues with drinking here in this house. After dinner wine/beer with snacks and watch TV before bed. Its been a ritual for YEARS and DH doesnt want to sit and watch TV drinking alone...so we battle it out and we have compromised some. Its hard.

Great job for saying no!! That is such a huge obstacle for me. Find a friend you can do this with either here on the site or a friend you hang out with that needs to lose some weight. I have a friend who is working on this with me. We just email or call each other to say that we have done the workout or if we totally blew the calories for the day among other successes. This website is a huge help too. Super easy to use. keep up the great work!!

Hoping you can be strong and block the cynic in others; they really are just being so selfish. Pack that lunch every day and just smile at the guy as he woofs down a 3000 calorie fast food meal, knowing you have made the better choice. Hoping you can have a sit down with your significant other and indicate how strongly you feel about your wanting to lose weight and needing his support (which marriage is all about!!!!!!). It is not like you are asking him to change his eating habits, just be encouraging of yours. Hang tough and keep your eyes on the prize - a more healthy, and fit Y O U!!!!! All of the cynics in your life will be WOWed if you just stick with YOUR plan!

Since this is new to you, it is also new to them as well. Just be assertive & stick to your guns. It is a learning period for everyone. Good luck!

i agree that these people can pull you down the wrong path but perhaps your boyfriend isnt upset about you saying no to frybread with him but rather that it was something special the two of you did together and he doesnt want to give up on that time. i say yes go with him for frybread enjoy a taste of his and dont get one for yourself and talk about other things you two can do together on friday's to keep him feeling just as special as he always was. dont be too hard on him, now lunch buddy is just bogus with his outlook on the situation. dont fret yourself over it. good luck!

In the end, this is for you, and especially your Fiance needs to realize this and be more supportive

SO experiencing this as well!!! It is like, some people in our family just can not be happy for us, mainly because they are struggling so much, but will not do anything about it.. where we are! When we see my inlaws, they are buying timbits for our children, sending them home with us.. and I am sorry, but if I have it in the house, I will eat them. I know I will.. so when they give us the timbits, I throw them out.,.which is such a waste.. but we really can't have that sutff in our home.

When you try and tell them that = fight.

Just try to stay positive!!!

Focus on the reason you wanted to get rid of the extra pounds. In some cases you may just need to find other things to occupy your time so you eat in peace instead of hanging around these people. If they were not threatened by your new lifestyle choices, they would be supportive of your efforts. You are taking charge of your life and these people don't want to feel guilty nor do they want to look bad while standing next to you when you achieve your goals.

In my case the motivation is simple. My Dr. just flat our told me, "Lose the weight, or Die". Losing the weight seemed like the more reasonable alternative.

I am reminded of a conversation I overheard once where two people were having a difference of opinion on the ideas they had about the best ways to be more profitable in their company. The person who was most confident about his position and knew exactly what he wanted to accomplish told the other person.

"You can move me to your way of thinking, I can move you to my way of thinking, or we can part company. You should know now that I can't afford for you to move me."

Don't let these people bring you down to their comfort level. Love them, encourage them, pray for them and stay on the path. Who knows, maybe you will become the spark that ignites them to take control over their own heath issues.

I know how you feel! I talked to a friend once about trying to be healthier and this site, she then told me I was doing it all wrong and eating too few calories....this all as she stuffed her face with peanut m&ms! I've finally learned that I have my MFP life and my real life. On MFP I can say how I feel and get support. In real life I have to be sneaky with weight loss and health or I find people try to bring me down because they so badly want to have the will power to do it but don't. It's especially hard when your loved one is part of the problem. Just let you fiance know that you are really serious about making the change and if he doesn't harp on you about your food choices you won't harp on him. Maybe you can prepare your meal at home and if he still wants to eat out tonight he can get it to go!

I'm a huge fan of cooking and I love finding new healthier meals. I've found then when I leave myself some left-overs from the night before and bring them to work, then my co-workers are often jealous of my meals! My boyfriend also likes it because I'm making new things for him that he's liking so he's getting in on the healthy bandwagon as well. Diets dont' have to be "rabbit" food all the time. I often make things out of diet cook books (like the "Looney Spoons" collection) that are delicious and make everyone else envious of me rather than the other way around.

I've also found that invititing his non-healthy parents over for dinner at our place rather than us going there works as well. I've exposed them to lots of other healthy foods that they didn't even know they liked! It makes it easier when you are the one in charge and not letting other people bring you down. Invite people to your place, share your healthy snacks - that's my best advice.

I completely understand you and your frustrations. I am not asking anyone to change their habits on excercise or eating habits. However, they act like when I take a little time to work out for my health and happiness that I have kicked them in the groin or something. And When it comes to eating this week I have been measuring everything and when the family wanted something unhealthy I made it for them and I made something healthy for my self. They refuse to eat the things that are healthy but get pist when I choose to. Can we just send a linch mob after them? I work really hard to keep my family and my home running smoothly and when mommy wants something for herself everyone else gets pist at me. Is there a hunting season for ungreatful selfish family members who refuse to even try to understand? AHH, never mind. I only have a BB gun and a 22. Neither of which are good for hunting! GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR:explode: :mad: :frown: :devil: :sad: