Why can't I just do this?! How did you stick with it???

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Replies

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    The harsh reality is: you just have to do it, no matter how you feel about it. You're not always gonna feel excited, you're now always going to feel motivated, in fact, it will sometimes downright feel like you aren't doing the right thing. But, making decisions based on how you feel is what got you in the predicament you are in to begin with. You have to make a decision to do the right thing and stick with it, even if you don't feel like it, even if you mess up 54364343433543436 times, even if it doesn't feel right.
  • Longbowgilly
    Longbowgilly Posts: 262 Member
    I am exactly the same, great and on track for a short while then off the rails I go!!:embarassed:

    I am trying to make myself do more exercise, I really need to move more!!
  • BluePHX
    BluePHX Posts: 184 Member
    Give that voice in your head that says mean things to you and plays devil's advocate when you're looking at food a name. Name it whatever you want. And then, when it tells you things like "Why bother? You can't do this." or "This is a waste of time!" blah blah blah, call it by it's name and tell it to SHUT UP.

    Believe it or not, this actually works. Mine's name is "Gypsy" and I started doing this years ago. Believe it or not, I don't hear from Gypsy anymore! You have to train your mind to stop creating obstacles for you through self doubt and criticism. You CAN do this. You CAN. Anyone can absolutely make it through this and reach the goals they are after! Don't give up. Just keep pushing and telling yourself you're awesome, you're on fire! You're doing it! You can kick this thing in the *kitten*! Whatever you need to hear. And tell the mean little voice to shut it down!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    You'll have to overcome the emotional before you can get over the hump.
    If you eat out of emotional reaction every single time, you'll likely always end up at the same starting point.
    If food is always the crutch, you'll continue to let it be so.

    Replace food with something else.

    This sounds about right. Whatever it is you want to do in your life, it's all about attitude and priorities. You have to determine if a healthy lifestyle is a priority. You have to want it more than you want the alternative. Sometimes people just aren't ready. When you're ready to make the change you'll do it!

    Maybe I'm not a good one for advice on this, since I've always had a healthy relationship with food and when I set my mind to something I have excellent self-control. Losing weight and maintaining (I've maintained for over 2 years) has not been difficult for me at all. That may be because I have other outlets for stress. Instead of eating my feelings, I find exercise (especially running) to be very therapeutic. As a bonus, it helps me with my health goals. Find a physical activity that you enjoy so you'll stick with it and then just go for it whenever you start feeling stressed. You might also want to look into hypnotherapy to help you reset your attitude and get yourself moving in the right direction. Some people find it helpful.
  • pen2u
    pen2u Posts: 224 Member
    I agree with those who say to only change one or two things at a time. If you make big sweeping changes it could be overwhelming. Start with committing to exercising a doable amount a week (:30 EOD? 3 hours per week? Whatever you honestly think you can stick with) and set it up with a friend or take a class so you will "have to" go. (I made myself limit Netflix viewing to only while riding the stationary bike. If I wanted to watch, I had to ride.) After you've spent 21 days or so doing that, cut out a troublesome food or food category. Do that for awhile before changing anything else.

    Good luck! Things will improve, I promise.
  • that's exactly i feeling in the start.... then i start the Running.... ALL my friends mocking me... my best ally is my MP3 player, every time i want to eat something wrong, i walk for 10 minutes and think how will affect me.

    if you fix a standard running/walking plan/program after this is easy to think the consequences and to eat the best for you
  • lindaland1
    lindaland1 Posts: 25 Member
    One thing that always works for me and has kept me on track is I have a "free day" once a week. On that day I can eat whatever I want WITHOUT GUILT!!! This allows me to deal with cravings during the rest of the week. If I have a craving I just decide that's what I will have on my free day. The good thing is, usually by then, I have changed my mind!! LOL One day will not ruin your whole week, and it allows you to plan the day. Sure when I first started, my free day was filled with candy & fast food. And then I felt bloated and sluggish the next day. :noway: After a few weeks I found myself giving most of the candy & fast food!! I have been loosing weight consistently and I never feel like I am deprived because I really can have anything I want. :happy:

    Also I exercise most days. I can not jog due to joint disease, however I am using a recumbent bike and can easily do it while I watch TV. And on nice days I get out and walk my dog, the fresh air and sunshine is a great mood enhancer. Just moving somehow will make you feel so much better. Exercise also helps keep me motivated during the week and get me to my free day!!

    Good luck!!
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Takes 12 weeks to develop a habit that you will stick with. THAT is what you need to aim for....12 weeks. Workout every day, eat good every day....it's ONLY 12 weeks. Tell yourself it's ONLY 12 weeks. You can do it, you WILL o it. It's only 12 weeks after all. Anyone can do that right?


    Dont have a cheat day, dont have a day off.

    12 weeks.

    Trust me...... 12 weeks is nothing when you think about it. 3 months is a very short time. It's a season. Nothing. Pffft. Easy.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,854 Member
    I am so disgusted with my body and hate how I look yet I seem to be doing everything wrong!!!! I eat good for 2 days and then it all goes to crap!! So depressed and broken. What is the secret?? What is the trick?!?!
    The secret is there is no secret or trick. All we have is persistence.
  • MrsGreenTea703
    MrsGreenTea703 Posts: 300 Member
    Hello my name is Chasidy and I have been on my journey to a healthier me since August 2011. I'm very proud of myself and how far I've come. I am determined to reach my goals because it's what I want. In my opinion the secret to "weight loss" is the want to lose weight, but ACTUALLY wanting to do it. Wanting it to the point of sweat and tears. Wanting it so badly that you know nothing else is an option. That feeling of want is called determination. You know deep down that you are determined to do whatever it takes to get yourself the one thing you want the most. If losing weight is something that you want, you will do it! You have to stay dedicated everyday, one day at a time. It's so worth it! When I workout and eat healthy, I feel more alive and focused. I want everyone to know that you can succeed if you just believe! You have to change your mind before you can change your body. Meaning that you cannot let the negative voice inside your head win. You have to IGNORE the voice or CHANGE it! Tell yourself you CAN and WILL do everything in your power to make this change forever because you deserve so much happiness. This is a kind of happiness I could never of imagined and I wish the world could experience it. Enjoy the transformation and watch your body change one day at a time with your hard work and determination! If I can change my life, you can change yours! I have never said this was easy because it's hard work! But I promise you it's worth it! YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU TOO CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE, ONE DAY AT A TIME! I believe in you!
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    Just do not give up. No matter how often you fall off the wagon, climb back on. And again. And again.
    And eventually you will fall off less often.


    Or you could just give up altogether and be fat, unfit and depressed all the time...
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    OP this is my story, I hope I can help you.

    Every day in 2012, I started a diet, every day I failed. In about September I really started to question myself and what I wanted from life. I started cutting out junk foods and slowly started to lose weight without really trying, but then stopped after about 3kg. I thought I was just going to be fat forever. But I didn't want to be. Surely that wasn't just it.

    I started reading some fitness books and found podcasts, never listened to any of them though!!

    Then .. After Christmas..

    I went on a holiday that involved about 20 hours of driving, and in that time, I listened to 20 hours of Fat2FitRadio podcasts. I swear it took me abut 10 hours worth to think that it might not have to be so hard. Dieting didn't have to mean starving, or going without... Just cutting back a little bit. So I did. Just a little bit. I started tracking my calories.

    And I lost weight.

    So I got interested in myself again. I started walking.

    And I decided to make 2013 into a new hobby... Me. And I have. I am my own hobby.

    I've tried eating more, I joined the gym, I lost weight, I hit a plateau, I ate less, then more again, lost more weight, I read books, I found a new podcast, the Smarter Science of Slim, I read more books, I am still my own hobby. This year is MINE and I will get to try goal. I will succeed and I will create a new life for myself.

    So the point that I hope you get from this is, sometimes the start might be a bit slow. But when you get the fire in your belly to really make a change, there is no stopping it!!

    NOW... I stick with it. I have no desire to ruin my overall diet plan because my desire for a healthy life and body is far greater!!! My eyes are on the prize, and the prize is ME.

    What works for others may not be the thing that works for you. You need to find YOUR motivation, get your mojo back and then whip yourself into shape. It may not happen overnight, but who cares? If you spend the next 12 months WISHING you could lose 12kg, you could slowly lose a kilo a month and be there in 12 months...

    You can do it. Find YOUR reasons, focus on them, and take one day at a time.
  • There is no trick realy.You just have to want it badly for yourself.No one eles,just for yourself.When you want it that badly,it wont be a problem.
  • tripletmom2004
    tripletmom2004 Posts: 168 Member
    Thank you again everyone! You have been so kind and encouraging. I refuse to quit. I guess I have been trying to change everything overnight and then I fail. One moment at a time!!! :)
  • baristagirl7
    baristagirl7 Posts: 69 Member
    You have to make a life style change. Eat better, sleep better, excersise more. Do small goals. Every time you work and achieve small goals you get closer and closer to the end result. Don't get so sad about falling off the wagon one day. You can always get back on the next. You aren't perfect nobody is perfect. Don't beat yourself up. Being negative will only make things worse. You should listen to audio books by dwayne dyer. He has several books that are very cleansing to listen too. Good for the mind. Also look around yourself. Are there other things that are bringing you down? People, work, social life. Everything can affect your body mind and soul. If you need anymore advice. I would love to help! I am an independant coach online! I help people achieve their health/fitness goals!
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
    Give that voice in your head that says mean things to you and plays devil's advocate when you're looking at food a name. Name it whatever you want. And then, when it tells you things like "Why bother? You can't do this." or "This is a waste of time!" blah blah blah, call it by it's name and tell it to SHUT UP.

    Believe it or not, this actually works. Mine's name is "Gypsy" and I started doing this years ago. Believe it or not, I don't hear from Gypsy anymore! You have to train your mind to stop creating obstacles for you through self doubt and criticism. You CAN do this. You CAN. Anyone can absolutely make it through this and reach the goals they are after! Don't give up. Just keep pushing and telling yourself you're awesome, you're on fire! You're doing it! You can kick this thing in the *kitten*! Whatever you need to hear. And tell the mean little voice to shut it down!

    This is definitely worth a try for me. I'm practicing it NOW!
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    Will a reward work for you - Ok if your good for 6 days then on the 7th day you can go out and have some tacos or what ever you love!
    Most of what this poster said was good, but not this. STOP rewarding yourself with food. As others have said, you don't need to change everything immediately, and it's fine to eat the food your enjoy (in moderation). And it's good to have a plan for when you will and won't have certain foods. But especially as you're an emotional eater, it's important to not reinforce that sense that food is a reward you get when you're good or need a treat or feel bad or... Food is something you eat to nourish and maintain your body. You can enjoy eating it, just like you enjoy other activities. You can pick the specific food for different reasons -- taste, nutrition, etc. just like you pick books or TV shows for different reasons -- amusement, education, etc. but do not use it as a reward or punishment.
    I totally agree with the main points from this poster -- taking little steps, figuring out what works for you, considering it a long-term change -- but with regards to motivation and rewards, look for other kinds of things. Can you afford to splurge on a new clothing item? A scarf or piece of jewelry that you can wear at any weight? A manicure or even just the nail polish you like? Giving yourself a 20 minute break to do something you enjoy rather than all the necessary household and work chores? Taking a short walk? Calling a friend? Listening to music you enjoy? There are many lists of big and small rewards you can use as thought starters here on MFP.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    Thank you again everyone! You have been so kind and encouraging. I refuse to quit. I guess I have been trying to change everything overnight and then I fail. One moment at a time!!! :)

    Trying to change everything at once works for some, but not all, as it can be overwhelming. Relax, take one day at a time. Realize you'll not always be perfect, and add small changes every few days or weeks, whatever you can handle. Mentally put in your head that every positive change is good and will lead to the next step to reach the goals you desire. As they always say, time passes anyway... so do you want to stand still, move backwards or take a step toward the future you want? Decide and then go for it! Good luck.
  • kwalsh8
    kwalsh8 Posts: 2 Member
    You have to find it inside yourself and have the motivation. I had to get a personal trainer who is showing me that I am worth the weight loss. If you have the money, a trainer is the way to go! I tried to do it without my trainer but I just needed the push.
  • skinnydreams19
    skinnydreams19 Posts: 282 Member
    For me, I eat well most of the day and then in the evening it all goes to crap and I down 1200 - 2500 calories in the evening/night alone (and that's not unusual)!
  • Alison12121
    Alison12121 Posts: 198 Member
    I know it's hard because the same thing has happened to me before. I would go all out and eat only healthy stuff for a while, get completely sick of it and then just give up. I think that no matter what you try, change is usually hardest the first week, then when you get results that helps to keep you going.

    What kinds of foods are you eating? I think it helps to make sure that the healthy foods you're eating are also delicious so you won't feel like you're being deprived. I like a lot of the recipes I've found from Cooking Light because they actually taste good, so maybe finding tastier healthy foods will help.
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    For me, I eat well most of the day and then in the evening it all goes to crap and I down 1200 - 2500 calories in the evening/night alone (and that's not unusual)!
    Hmmm.... what are you doing while you eat that much in the evening? Could you be exercising instead? What are your evening triggers?
    The fact that you want that much in the evening means you probably aren't doing so well during the day. Consider whether you are being too strict or depriving yourself during the day? For instance, a friend of mine would get terrible cravings in the evening when she hadn't had enough protein... she'd graze on all kinds of things... until she figured it out. Then just a tablespoon of peanut butter or a egg solved the problem.
    It's possible that you're right, and your daytime eating has nothing to do with the problems you're experiencing in the evening, but take another look, because I think it's very likely that considering the combination of what you're doing during the day and your triggers may give you a better understanding of what to try changing next.
    Good luck.
  • LisaGirlfriend
    LisaGirlfriend Posts: 493 Member
    Wow... just read through many of the posts in here and I think it's all been said in one way or another. I have to have a say too though...:wink:

    I think people decide they have to lose weight and try to change everything so drastically right away. They quit eating junk, pop, fast food, start eating only salads, fruits and veg, try to exercise, feel horribly tired and sick after a couple of days/weeks, then quit. I think many of these people have set themselves to an unrealistic calorie goal (1200 cals a day) through MFP and think that they have to eat like a rabbit and ensure they make it UNDER their 1200 calories each day for success. This is just plain wrong and is just setting yourself up to fail in a few days/weeks. No one can stick with those drastic changes.

    Do some research on here. As someone said, make yourself your hobby - fitness/health your hobby. I've done that through this site and I've learned so much that I never knew, that totally makes sense. First figure out how many calories you burn in a typical day just doing your regular stuff, then cut 15% from that number and set that as your calorie goal each day (i.e. if you burn 2000 calories a day from living, eat 1700 calories a day). Enter everything you eat into MFP, even if it's junk. Make small changes like replacing pop with water or diet pop if you have to. Eat every 2-3 hours and log it immediately. Drink the water. Only weigh yourself once a week. See how it goes. Do it again for another week. Drink the water. When you've got a few weeks in, look at how you can make adjustments to replace this and that with something healthier. After you're feeling okay, add some walking or light cardio. One day leads to another and then before you know it, you've gradually changed your way of living. You will see success and then it will snowball. But don't expect it to happen immediately! That's the hard part. Give yourself a year. Set mini-goals. And tell yourself - do you really still want to be in the same place this time next year doing the same thing over and over again and getting nowhere??? That's the definition of insanity!

    One thing that has helped me immensely is the Fitbit. It's $100 on www.fitbit.com but I think you can buy it at Best Buys in the U.S. It tells you your daily calorie burn total, and your steps, flights, of stairs. The best thing for me is it makes me walk more to get those 10,000 steps every day, and ensure my burn comes in higher than 2000 calories a day so I can eat those 1700 calories. :-) It really is an amazing little gadget.

    Best of luck with your journey. It is a journey. But it can be a great journey. :flowerforyou:
  • pen2u
    pen2u Posts: 224 Member
    This might sound really corny, but here goes:

    I'm beginning to think that although we might start a diet/fitness regimen because we've become disgusted with ourselves, we stick with it because we love ourselves enough to treat our bodies well. Exercising, eating healthy food, and watching portion sizes is so much easier now that I'm not hating myself or beating myself up all the time.
  • HSingMomto7Kids
    HSingMomto7Kids Posts: 345 Member
    Connect with others here. Hang onto the support!! It does help!!
  • JaimeMWS
    JaimeMWS Posts: 36
    This might sound really corny, but here goes:

    I'm beginning to think that although we might start a diet/fitness regimen because we've become disgusted with ourselves, we stick with it because we love ourselves enough to treat our bodies well. Exercising, eating healthy food, and watching portion sizes is so much easier now that I'm not hating myself or beating myself up all the time.

    I really agree with this. For years I tried to lose weight to satisfy the part of me that was angry at my body (which probably was the part that was responsible for overeating and thought my physical self didn't deserve care). Then I had a breakthrough of compassion for my physical self. For years I neglected it, and then I got mad at it for showing the results of neglect! I wouldn't do that to another person I loved, why did I do it to my poor physical self, which was doing the best it/I could in the circumstances? I decided to be as kind to myself as I would be to one of my children. Which, as with children, doesn't mean giving in to every unhealthy whim, but trying to give myself what I need to be healthy and forgiving my false starts and wrong turns as I learn how to be healthier.
  • wldrose75
    wldrose75 Posts: 128
    I agree with most everything everyone has posted. The things that have helped me most are taking it in small steps and preplanning/prelogging what I'm going to eat the next day every night (well, most nights anyway). I then come home after work and update/edit to what I actually ate. (No cell phones allowed at work so I have to wait until the workday is over.) I don't restrict myself from sweets and junk completely, just keep it to much smaller amounts that fit within my calorie goals (most of the time).

    There is one other thing that helps me tremendously that no one has mentioned yet (at least not in much detail). That is reading these threads. I frequently get on the community pages and just read through what everyone is talking about. It doesn't really matter what the topic is, although the success stories are a great place to begin. It gives me motivation and inspiration. It resets my mindset to "I can do this," or helps me keep my mindset there. I don't know. Maybe its just the competitiveness in me, the "if these people can do it, I can too." I also have noticed that when I look at my home page on MFP and see that friend x, y and z have exercised, I feel like I have to also, just to keep up. :smile: I don't have to do as much or the same thing since a lot of them are much more fit than I am (and a little crazy too LOL) but it makes me feel like I have to do something. I can't let them think I'm as lazy as I really am...
  • tessabean60
    tessabean60 Posts: 1 Member
    If you're doing quite a bit of emotional eating you have to learn to deal with you emotions differently besides eating. As awful as it sounds, you have to start experiencing your emotions instead of masking them with food. It's painful but worth it and you can do it with practice and determination.
  • CheriLMT
    CheriLMT Posts: 220 Member
    I know it is my diet but how do you stick to eating healthy??? I eat emotionally too. I am just so absolutely disgusted and depressed!!! I haven't exercised regularly in a week ...

    I was feeling exactly this way yesterday so for the first time is a while I logged my food, and I went a small 1/2 mile walk.....I am just starting out...I can't run 2 miles but starting is what it is about,,,just move a little more don't even call it exercise if that bothers you...log your food for a week before you even officially are gonna stay within a certain amount of calories if you do this you eat less..its like rule or something lol
  • aggib
    aggib Posts: 2 Member
    I have been the same way ...but I have found this little trick. If you can identify just one time of the day where you break down and work on that it may help. For me it was that 3:30 to 5:00 time. I am really hungry so I have to give myself a pep talk and make myself reach for an apple instead of junk. Thats when the kids come home and end up breaking out the snacks. Sometimes I force myself to take the dog for a walk around the block to break the habit of eating then too. Its seems to help!
    Not perfect but getting better