i don't even care

hellothere1212
hellothere1212 Posts: 248
in Motivation and Support
I've lost all my motivation. I worked really hard and lost 30 pounds from June of last year to February. From Feb til now I've gained back 12 pounds. I cant find motivation to get back on track. I have depression and anxiety and some days its hard to even get out of bed let alone go workout. Eating is the only thing I seem to enjoy. All I wana do is eat sweets and lay around all day. I know at some point I'm going to start caring again and be really mad at myself for gaining the weight back but right now I dont seem to want to put a stop to it. I have social anxiety so my lack of personality and confidence makes me unattractive no matter what weight I'm at. So why should I try to get a good body when I wont look attractive anyway? I know a lot of people will say to be healthy but I'm not motivated by health when I dont like myself much. Is it possible to get back on track when I feel like this? Any tips? I got on antidepressants and will start therapy when I find someone but I need to get on track now since I'm gaining so quickly.

Replies

  • JavaSparrow
    JavaSparrow Posts: 51 Member
    I think it's best to try to start bringing your mood up as soon as possible. and understand that eating isn't going to make you feel better...confront those bad feelings, journal it out, or cry but don't eat when you're upset. It won't make you feel better and it's just another way of trying (unsuccessfully) to bury the depression, hurt and anxiety.
    get back on track because you want to. because you know losing weight would make you feel better, even if only by a little.
    setbacks happen, weight loss is not linear. Just keep pushing forward knowing you'll win in the end.
  • hellothere1212
    hellothere1212 Posts: 248
    aw thank you i know you are right. i do feel slightly better when im at least eating well and exercising its just so hard to find the energy these days.
  • MooseAtoZ
    MooseAtoZ Posts: 45 Member
    I've had a hard time finding an antidepressant that works well for me. But I have found a therapist with whom I have a good rapport. And loading up on vitamin D helps. A lot. Taking between 3 and 6 capsules gives me just the boost and balance that I need. Once in a while, the anxiety still gets away from me. But that's our daily battle, isn't it?
  • JavaSparrow
    JavaSparrow Posts: 51 Member
    ^_^
    i know what you mean. Even on days when i'm doing well, it feels like it took a lot out of me and i'm worried that i'm going to mess up soon, even if i didn't on that particular day. And even the thought of having to start over makes me exhausted...
    and sometimes i do mess up.
    but i keep trying because i'm positive all the work is worth it.
    After a pretty bad "bump" in the road, i have to consciously tell myself i'm going to be better and start over. I drink lots of water and plan my meals/snacks a head of time.
    I also start my days with upbeat music! especially if it's a "getting back on track" day.

    And if i start to get anxious or sad, i stop and ask myself "why?" and take a minute to breathe or journal, or plan since having a plan makes me feel more secure.
  • Kaathmandu
    Kaathmandu Posts: 129
    One reason we fang out when depressed is that eating sweet things (chocolate especially!) produces 'feel good' endorphins, so we do feel better for a little bit. So we keep doing it. Then we feel bad!
    Good news is: exercise does this too! Even though you don't feel like it, if you can make yourself do something active, not only will you get a burst of endorphins, you use up the adrenaline that the body produces in response to stress (including anxiety) that actually increases anxiety. And burn calories instead of adding them, so you feel better about yourself and your choices.
    So if you are lying around in sweat pants - perfect! Put your sneakers on and go for a brisk walk around the block/park/town. Right now! (Ok, may be middle of night where you are. So do 20 laps of your house/back yard.)
    And get your therapy sorted.
    Go! You can do it!!
    :flowerforyou:
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
    I don't know what to say to help you feel better but I was in your shoes a few years ago. I was very unhappy, depressed, convinced I had social anxiety disorder or a big case of shyness. I had everything - youth, intellect, nice clothes and a roof over my head. I lived in a big apartment in lower Manhattan. But I was fat, and really hard on myself for it. I never had friends or guests visit that apartment in the whole two years that I lived there. Every night I'd look out the window at Broadway and see hundreds of apartments on the opposite side of the street, and watch life pass me by. At that point I had not gone on a date in over three years and nobody had asked, no matter what I wore or how much I tried to look decent when leaving the house. I also felt uncomfortable in most of my clothes. I didn't eat right or exercise for the long haul; it was more of a temporary goal than a permanent lifestyle change. Naturally, I gave up on weight loss after I lost around 20 pounds (still overweight, but less so) and just let it slowly creep back. Once I stopped exercising or tracking calories, it became almost impossible to turn things around. It's almost like inertia took effect - an object in motion stays in motion, and an object at rest (me) stays that way. It's much easier to stay fit than to get fit.


    Don't feel bad about gaining weight. Most people will fail to lose weight a few times and then, if they are lucky, find some way to keep going and succeed. Find what motivates you. If you want something, you must work hard for it, every day for the rest of your life. This is true of a lot of things - fitness, health, family, relationships. I gave up on being fat because I never want to be unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I don't want to go to the doctor and find out that I have ten things wrong with my blood work because of eating cheap food. I never want to be too shy to look a guy in the eye or wearing cute clothes. I am getting older and I want more out of life than sitting in a bare room and moping about.

    Maybe you'll find what motivates you and turn things around. You don't have to keep the life that you have. You can determine who you want to be in the future, if you make certain choices and act on them today. You don't have to do everything at once; one step at a time will suffice. Once you get over a certain hump - when you get closer to goal weight and start boosting your fitness - it gets really fun and easy to keep up. Healthy food starts to taste amazing, subtle, and complex. Exercise doesn't shock your body as much as it used to.

    Don't even give it a second thought. Do something today - now - and tomorrow it will be much easier to keep doing it.

    By the way, I do not have any social anxiety or depression anymore. Either the exercise, diet, or maybe the ego boost from weight loss virtually eliminated those feelings.
  • JavaSparrow
    JavaSparrow Posts: 51 Member
    Oh and one more (encouraging) thing. You can build will power. Like, the more you eat sugary junk food, the more you will crave sugary junk food.
    But! the same is true for healthy food! and the more you say "no" to the junk, the easier it will be to say "no" again.
    So putting down the cookies (and meaning it, dammit!) is a victory in itself, so you deserve to be proud even if it's just a little thing.
    good luck to you!
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    Recently I had a friend tell me that I was full of excuses. He said that if you want results, cut the *kitten* and do it. If you don't the road may be tougher when you do come around. I get the *kitten*-its often. They usually coincide with hormones and make it nearly impossible to get out of bed.

    This approach kind of worked for me. I don't want to say that to you because being harsh may not work for you. It did work for me. So I cut the *kitten* and started saying do it. Now, this is only a week into my 557th time saying it. But hopefully all I need is 557.

    You'll get there. Just cut the *kitten*. We all don't care sometimes. :-)

    Lotsa love
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    Obviously it's going to take some willpower to get yourself out of this funk, but in the meantime, try some 5-HTP. You can get it over the counter at most drug stores. It's pricey, but less than $20 for a month's supply, and non habit forming. It'll boost your serotonin levels and decrease your appetite. I've never had any negative side effects. And no this is not a plug (if it was I'd be mentioning a specific brand).
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
    I suffer from depression and am on several medications to help keep it controlled so I know what it's like to just not care about yourself or anything at all. I am an emotional eater and have been told to journal everything that I am thinking and feeling before I take that first bite. Then ask yourself if you are truly hungry or are eating your emotions. I am fortunate to be able to be in counseling for the past 4 yrs. and that does help to have someone to talk to. Feel free to vent or just say what's on your mind on here. We are all good listeners. Feel free to add me.

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