I reached my goal and have now gained again-depressed

nfgchick79
nfgchick79 Posts: 89 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey all,

So I've done well on MFP. I lost almost 30 lbs, felt great, looked great etc. I kept it off for about 4-5 months once I hit my goal. Well in December I had surgery for some serious fertility issues. Since then I have been going through fertility treatments that include hormones, which do a variety of things. Some have made me so tired that I can barely function (hence falling off of my workouts). Some have made me sooo hungry. I thought it would be a good idea to eat regularly while trying to get pregnant but it has only made me gain weight. I don't know how much I've gained because I am terrified to get on the scale. My clothes are tight and I feel squishy. I'd say I've gained probably 5-10 lbs. So anyway, I'm currently on a bit of a hiatus with my medical things so I'd like to get back on the wagon. I've just started logging again as of yesterday and am hoping I can get motivated to work out again (I only do about once or twice a week and used to do 5-6 times a week). I'm just feeling so bad about myself right now and am having a hard time feeling motivated AT ALL. I'm depressed over not getting pregnant and depressed about how my body is starting to look. I lost the weight to try and get pregnant in the first place and I don't want to screw that up during this difficult time. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!!

Replies

  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
    I know this is easier said than done, but RELAX. Cut yourself some slack. You are dealing with a lot. Try to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and know that you will successfully make it past all of this. Get back to planning out your meals. Make them very nutritious to aid your fertility efforts. Get in some daily exercise. Avoid the scale while you're going through this hormonal mess. You will get back to your goal weight when it's time :)
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    Have you talked to a doctor about weight, meals, and fertility? Best of luck to you!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    For 5-10 Lbs, just go into a 1/2 Lb per week deficit and I recommend focusing in on some resistance training with some moderate cardio. That should do the trick.

    Also, cut yourself some slack. Maybe talk to your doctor and see if you can get referred to a nutritionist..and maybe a fertility specialist. Getting pregnant can be tough...took my wife and I a couple years with our first...actually didn't happen until we gave up, then boom.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.
  • fitnfab_meyer
    fitnfab_meyer Posts: 11 Member
    I'm with Tia on this one. Just take a deep breathe and relax. Hormones are such a yucky thing! But so is our guilt. Sounds like you've been through some things that haven't been real fun. Give yourself a pass for the past few months. Try to take some time for yourself to get some exercise in, even if its just for 20-30 mins. It will make your mind feel a lot better and your body will start craving more exercise. Your former healthy habits will be much easier to get back to, because you already know what it takes. Sometimes when we stop stressing, that's when good things happen. Best of luck to you :smile:
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    That was really harsh.

    OP, cut yourself some slack. You are getting back on track now - much better after a 5-10 pound gain than one much larger than that. Talk to your doctor about the side effects from the hormones - there may be other options that you can use.

    Best of luck.
  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
    Quasita - Interesting name. Does that mean 'insensitive' in some foreign language?
  • nfgchick79
    nfgchick79 Posts: 89 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    That's hilarious. I have Ashermans Syndrome. Scar tissue in my uterus that was caused by having D&Cs. I had surgery to repair it and now I am going through treatments to try and get pregnant. Not that that is ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS but the problem isn't me.

    I'm not overweight, nor am I too skinny either. I eat quite healthy foods I was just not able to keep up with my hardcore workouts or be as regimented. In fact I tried to eat MORE because I was concerned about being on a deficit and trying to conceive. I had a hard time figuring out what was right and that in combination of hormones gained some weight.

    Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for everyone who posted helpful and KIND suggestions.

    And I am seeing a fertility specialist. At my next visit I will talk to him about what he suggests for eating.

    ALSO f*** you for telling me that I'm not meant to have biological kids. Oh my god. Way to make a person you don't even know feel like total sh**. I'm done. See you all later.

    Signed,

    A very long time member of MFP,

    Karen
  • nfgchick79
    nfgchick79 Posts: 89 Member
    And one more thing. I'm 5'0' and weigh approx. 110-115 lbs (I was down to 106 and pretty toned), started at 134 on MFP over a year ago. So yeah, I'm NOT THE PROBLEM YOU F***** horrible human being. The hormones are to help my uterus because of the surgery.
  • capergirl770
    capergirl770 Posts: 23 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    That's hilarious. I have Ashermans Syndrome. Scar tissue in my uterus that was caused by having D&Cs. I had surgery to repair it and now I am going through treatments to try and get pregnant. Not that that is ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS but the problem isn't me.

    I'm not overweight, nor am I too skinny either. I eat quite healthy foods I was just not able to keep up with my hardcore workouts or be as regimented. In fact I tried to eat MORE because I was concerned about being on a deficit and trying to conceive. I had a hard time figuring out what was right and that in combination of hormones gained some weight.

    Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for everyone who posted helpful and KIND suggestions.

    And I am seeing a fertility specialist. At my next visit I will talk to him about what he suggests for eating.

    ALSO f*** you for telling me that I'm not meant to have biological kids. Oh my god. Way to make a person you don't even know feel like total sh**. I'm done. See you all later.

    Signed,

    A very long time member of MFP,

    Karen



    Karen I lost 25 lbs and gained it back after about 6 months.. I too was terrified of the scale and wished I would have gotten on it earlier because I didnt even realize how much I had gained back until I got on it. Just take one day at a time and keep tracking. You are dealing with a lot. And as for the rude hateful comment about "not being meant" to have biolodgical kids. Umm take your unsupportive **** somewhere else. This is a site for support, if you want to be cruel and heartless, go somewhere else.

    I HATE that with message boards. Sad that there are people that hateful in the world.
  • nfgchick79
    nfgchick79 Posts: 89 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    That's hilarious. I have Ashermans Syndrome. Scar tissue in my uterus that was caused by having D&Cs. I had surgery to repair it and now I am going through treatments to try and get pregnant. Not that that is ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS but the problem isn't me.

    I'm not overweight, nor am I too skinny either. I eat quite healthy foods I was just not able to keep up with my hardcore workouts or be as regimented. In fact I tried to eat MORE because I was concerned about being on a deficit and trying to conceive. I had a hard time figuring out what was right and that in combination of hormones gained some weight.

    Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for everyone who posted helpful and KIND suggestions.

    And I am seeing a fertility specialist. At my next visit I will talk to him about what he suggests for eating.

    ALSO f*** you for telling me that I'm not meant to have biological kids. Oh my god. Way to make a person you don't even know feel like total sh**. I'm done. See you all later.

    Signed,

    A very long time member of MFP,

    Karen



    Karen I lost 25 lbs and gained it back after about 6 months.. I too was terrified of the scale and wished I would have gotten on it earlier because I didnt even realize how much I had gained back until I got on it. Just take one day at a time and keep tracking. You are dealing with a lot. And as for the rude hateful comment about "not being meant" to have biolodgical kids. Umm take your unsupportive **** somewhere else. This is a site for support, if you want to be cruel and heartless, go somewhere else.

    I HATE that with message boards. Sad that there are people that hateful in the world.

    Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm back to tracking and although my foods I chose stayed "healthy" I know my portions were a bit off. Someone who says "hormones are just an excuse" maybe needs to try them and then repeat that crap. I took something that made me barely able to get out of bed and go to work let alone go work out. So anyway thanks for the feedback. I'm going to try and track my food again and incorporate a bit more working out.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    Karen,

    As someone who cannot have biological children myself, my heart goes out to you. Mine is due to things just not working, and it can't be fixed. I hope that the surgeries and the treatments help you to have the baby you are meant to have.

    I can only imagine how stressful it is, and that's counterproductive to your weight loss efforts and your conception efforts both. Try to relax as much as you can and know that you have a community of people here that are behind you. Ignore the troll, there's a lot more good here than bad, which I'm sure you already know.

    If you need to talk, feel free to add me or message me anytime!

    Angela
  • rachel4304
    rachel4304 Posts: 115 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but....

    You failed miserably.

    Someone who doesn't have fertility issues will never understand. And that's the truth.

    OP, cut yourself some slack. Stress can also hinder conception. I tried for two years before being told isn't going to happen. I gave up trying. Four months later, it happened naturally -- no drugs, no trying. If you do go back on hormones, try to keep a clear head about what you are putting in your mouth and continue logging.

    I'm truly sorry you are having a hard time.
  • MsBobLoblaw
    MsBobLoblaw Posts: 171 Member
    So I've done well on MFP. I lost almost 30 lbs, felt great, looked great etc. I kept it off for about 4-5 months once I hit my goal.

    You can do this! You, yourself, wrote that you lost 30 pounds before. That's proof that you can do it again! I'm reminded of that phrase about getting back up after falling off a horse. Just get right back up on that horse, get back on a plan of healthy eating and exercise, and repeat to yourself, "I did it once, & I can do it again."

    You got this!!
  • rekite2000
    rekite2000 Posts: 218 Member
    I have been down that road- scar tissue in both tubes, 5 IUIs, drugs galore, exploratory surgery- it is hard and so stressful. Those drugs make your body go crazy! I started to workout three days a week. Just enough to focus my energy. I would walk at lunch. Focus on your food and do exercises that you enjoy (hiking, swimming, etc).

    It is incredibly hard and many don't get how heartbreaking it is. Enjoy this break and have some fun. Feel free to message me if you need support. I finally was blessed with my girl (5% chance) and now I am nursing my second 5% chance baby two years later.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    So I've done well on MFP. I lost almost 30 lbs, felt great, looked great etc. I kept it off for about 4-5 months once I hit my goal.

    You can do this! You, yourself, wrote that you lost 30 pounds before. That's proof that you can do it again! I'm reminded of that phrase about getting back up after falling off a horse. Just get right back up on that horse, get back on a plan of healthy eating and exercise, and repeat to yourself, "I did it once, & I can do it again."

    You got this!!

    ^^ This too!

    MsBobLoblaw, is that a Pembroke Welsh Corgi in your pic?!
  • MsBobLoblaw
    MsBobLoblaw Posts: 171 Member

    ^^ This too!

    MsBobLoblaw, is that a Pembroke Welsh Corgi in your pic?!

    I'm not sure. It's not mine. It's from this internet meme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lawyer-dog
  • MrsWells1983
    MrsWells1983 Posts: 160
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    You... You are a douche.....

    OP - I haven't struggled with Asherman's Syndrome but know ladies who have. It's heartbreaking. I really hope you can find a good balance between the hormone's, nutrition and your exercise. But above all, I hope you get your baby wishes soon. xx
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Not trying to be a jerk but it is just possible that your body is not set up or willing to be fertile. I mean, it's obvious what the issue is, and there isn't much we can say that will help you if you continue taking hormones and such for this purpose. I know you're still relatively young, not much older than myself, but I do believe that some people just aren't made to have biological kids.

    If you insist on taking the hormones, then you need to stop making them an excuse. Most of life is about choice. You choose to take the hormones... You also choose to stop working out, and choose to stop eating well. If you want those things in life, you have to gear your choices to match your desires.

    The problem is *you*. If you don't stand up for what you want against yourself, then you'll continue to be unsuccessful. Maybe this time you should make a goal of eating well and being active, instead of a number on the scale.

    That's hilarious. I have Ashermans Syndrome. Scar tissue in my uterus that was caused by having D&Cs. I had surgery to repair it and now I am going through treatments to try and get pregnant. Not that that is ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS but the problem isn't me.

    I'm not overweight, nor am I too skinny either. I eat quite healthy foods I was just not able to keep up with my hardcore workouts or be as regimented. In fact I tried to eat MORE because I was concerned about being on a deficit and trying to conceive. I had a hard time figuring out what was right and that in combination of hormones gained some weight.

    Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for everyone who posted helpful and KIND suggestions.

    And I am seeing a fertility specialist. At my next visit I will talk to him about what he suggests for eating.

    ALSO f*** you for telling me that I'm not meant to have biological kids. Oh my god. Way to make a person you don't even know feel like total sh**. I'm done. See you all later.

    Signed,

    A very long time member of MFP,

    Karen

    Obviously my point is being missed. Harsh as it may be, medical conditions, syndromes, and genetic predisposition actually support my theory. Assuming that the D&Cs were due to miscarriage, it's even more supportive. Sometimes people have to be honest with you, regardless of what you want to hear or how your emotions play into these things.

    Had you done ANY research into me, you'd know that I've had my own reproductive issues. I've spoken about them openly on here, when I too struggled with the after effects of my surgeries.

    YOU chose to take the hormones. YOU choose not to adhere to exercise and dietary needs. YOU choose to take medical intervention to deal with a problem that to me, your body has already addressed and made clear. Maybe you don't want to hear it, and I can understand that, but saying F*** you to someone that has the balls to be blunt and honest with you is completely immature and tells ME that you're not ready anyway.

    Good luck. Just know that you have to be accountable for your decisions. I won't apologize for mine because I stand behind what I said, and would if I was in your position as well. Me, I chose to take the cues of my body and put off any pregnancies until I was better physically able. You have chosen to do the opposite. Your choice, but you have to own that choice, not get pissy at people that addressed your original concern.

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