Feeling defeated and lost

Oh no, so sorry to hear that you're getting frustrated! First of all, don't compare your weight loss journey to that of your husband's- men's metabolisms are completely different and they tend to drop weight more quickly. But if he's not being careful about what he eats though, he'll eventually stop losing until he makes healthier choices...

Does your gym have a day care? Or could you have someone watch your kids so you and your husband can go to the gym together? Does your gym offer cardio classes, or even cardio/strength combo classes? That could be a way to get a little extra exercise and have fun at the same time! I used to HATE the gym and was really intimidated by both the people and the machines. But you know what? No one there really actually cares what you look like, because they're all too busy looking at themselves! True story! So what if you get looks? You are there for YOU, not for them to be judgmental. As for being uncomfortable not knowing what you're doing- can you buy a few sessions with a personal trainer to show you how to work the machines and give you a circuit routine for you to do on your own? That will help immensely! I'm with my pt 2-3 times a week, and random people are often approaching us and asking him how to do stuff while he's working with me. While I don't like it all the time (I'm paying for him!), I'm proud of those that ask how to do something right.

Or check out some videos on YouTube or www.nerdfitness.com which both have lots of instructional videos and work out plans and videos. Can you squeeze something in during the day while you're with your kids? Or go for walks with your kids? Every little bit helps.

I didn't look at your food journal (is it open?), and you said you're eating healthier- are you log consistently and are you meeting your calorie goals or consistently going over? Or even under? Change what you eat for a week, reduce carbs, increase lean protein, drink lots of water, something like that, and see what happens... and I agree with Zehornet- any number of factors can effect the scale, and don't weigh yourself every day!

Please don't let your weight gain and frustration at not losing stop you from achieving your goal! Look at your kids and your family, and use them as your motivation- do it all together! Keep coming onto MFP, and let us help motivate you!

I too have the "kids home all day syndrome"... Have you thought about purchasing a jogging stroller? I got one off of craigslist for $50.00. I've never been big on going to the gym. And once my kids got too big for the baby jogger, I bought a treadmill (I know it sucks, but better than nothing). I'm sure they have those on ctraigslist as well... It has saved me so much in terms of travel time, and I am always available if the kids need me for anything, and I have the freedom to work out any time. For me, the treadmill was a very "freeing" investment. I can even still work out if my kids are sick!

I know exactly how you feel! The only time I have to myself is when I go to the bathroom, so I actually started doing body weight exercises everytime I go. I started drinking more water to force myself to go more, so I can do squats or pushups or lunges. Ridiculous!!! But that is what it has come down to.

When you're feeling down and lost, just remember, "The Minions Love You"

I did the same thing around the holidays. I gained back 11 lbs, which doesn't seem like much, but was really hard to lose. I am doing the green coffee bean extract now and I lost 15 lbs in a month, which isn't bad for a 58 yr old guy. Also the raspberry ketones and garcinia cambogia sound promising especially the latter. I read where the fat has a hard time coming back after you lose it. Don't know but it sounds good. I don't care for those "diet pills" but these seem to work and they are good for you. And no side effects so far.

Do you have a Y near you? Many of them offer free day care, and some of them have family exercise classes (like playing with your kids in the pool). They have family memberships to help save money, along with programs that will reduce your membership fee if your income is below a certain point.

If you work, is there a chance your husband could take on some kid duties in the evening so you have an hour to do a workout video? You guys could alternate days so he has a chance to exercise too. My parents used to do that when my mom took college classes. Dad would help us with homework and take care of us some days so Mom could do homework, and then Mom would do all of that while he played softball and volleyball with his friends.

If you're a SAHM, maybe you could take the kids for walks or bike rides, depending on their ages. If they're still young, pushing the stroller is a great workout, especially if your neighborhood is hilly.

While I can understand having to wait till the children are in bed to go to the gym, I can't imagine any reason someone would have to wait until they were in bed to move. So, don't go to the gym. Gyms are not necessary to be fit and healthy.

You want to keep up with your kids, then there is your exercise. Depending on their age, walk/run with them, crawl with them, chase them, climb with them, ride bikes with them, play active video games with them (Wii Fit, Just Dance, Zumba, etc.), swim with them, sleigh ride with them, toss them in the air, pull them in a wagon, play basketball, kickball, whiffle ball, tennis with them.

Stop focusing on what you can't do and get creative with what you can. You can move. You can burn calories. You can improve fitness.

Hello! I know how you feel. I tried Planet Fitness and really hate the gym. I joined the Y, go to water aerobics, and finally got a treadmill again. My husband gave ours to our daughter years ago, because I wasn't using it. I'm now using the one I just got because I can do it when I want to. I turn on the TV and watch something recorded so I can fast forward through the ads or crank up my music. I am 66 and am going to do a 5 K in May. Will probably have to walk it as I had knee replacement 2 years ago. Started out only walking 2 miles per hour and now can walk at 3.0 so I'm showing improvement. Getting the water in and eating higher protein and no bread, pasta, etc at this point because I had surgery. We are here for you! Don't give up. Carol

Hey Girl
First stop beating yourself up. The fact that you even care is enough to start with. I really like the post below me too.
Time is not the enemy. What you want to do is learn to life better,healthier lives,right. Start today and take baby steps,learn all you can about healthy eating. Buy healthy food. Walk whenever you can,even with the kids. I hated the Gym, I prefer the out doors. it lifts my mood and is good for my health(sunshine). On rainy days the mall works too. One thing you can do at home w kids is turn on youtube videos and dance ,the kids will love it too. Life is too short not to have fun and you can have fun,once you want to live differently,rather than feel like you have too or ought too.
I wish you wellness and happiness
Karen

Hi, ember. You didn't mention your age, but I can tell you what happened to me, and suggest something you might try.

Up until my early 40's, I was always at a healthy weight, never had much of an issue. But once I hit about 44, my body...no...my hormones, started to revolt. No matter what I did, eliminating sugar, eliminating meat, eliminating alcohol, working out regularly, etc., my body continued to put on the weight. I gained 45 pounds.

I finally went to an endocrinologist and had all kinds of tests were done, FSH, Thyroid, glucose, blah blah blah. Though my numbers were in the "normal range" they were all on the higher end of the spectrum. The other awful thing that happened is my blood pressure went up terribly. Because of my symptoms, my endo doc suggested the DASH diet. I had never heard of it. Primarily developed for reducing hypertension, it is also has a wonderful side effect; increasing potassium, and other important minerals.

I went to the library and got the book. I followed the menus. Amazingly, I started to lose weight. During a follow up exam, more tests were done. Interestingly, my thyroid numbers moved lower. Insulin fell to a lower range. I sleep better, and the blood pressure is lower (which was really important for me).

My long winded point is this; hormones play an important role in a woman's body, and it is VERY easy to unintentionally get them out of whack. The littlest things can do it. Alcohol is a major culprit when it comes to goofing up a gal's hormones. Once they are out of whack, it's important to try to get them to "reset". Usually that is through diet modification, either a little, or a lot.

I've lost 13 pounds thus far, and I am happy to say that the current diet is not terribly difficult to follow, and is something I can live with (though I do miss my wine with cooking/dinner routine).

At any rate; it might be worth visiting an endocrinologist to see where your hormones and levels are. If your numbers are on the higher end, you may be "out of range" for what's normal for YOU.

I know exactly how you feel! The only time I have to myself is when I go to the bathroom, so I actually started doing body weight exercises everytime I go. I started drinking more water to force myself to go more, so I can do squats or pushups or lunges. Ridiculous!!! But that is what it has come down to.

OMG I do this! I told someone once and they laughed so hard I have kept it a secret since! I feel much less mental now I know you do it too and it really works.

Ember give this a go it really works I do it when I brush my teeth, make a cuppa, and I do side leg lifts when I wash the dishes & and do a little wiggle or lunge when I hoover. Its all a bit strange looking but makes house work a bit more fun! Recommend not doing it whilst you have visitors though!

Don't lose sight of what you have already achieved ... -20lbs!!

No pity parties... I say jump back in determined more than ever!!! Get yourself some dvd's to use while at home. Not sure of your schedule, but im an early bird. I joined a fitness bootcamp and workout 3 days a week with them 6-7AM in the morning. Then find alternative ways to play with the kids and get it in (exercise). Not sure of the ages, but can you take them rollerskating, biking, paddle boats? STAY MOTIVATED and ENCOURAGED... Don't look at your hubby any type of way ATTACK him all in the sake of calories and I mean it in the best way.... you can do it!

I think we all have days like that, you'll just have to pick yourself and keep going! Tomorrow is a new day

Just wanted to echo what the others are saying about exercise, you have two perfect little excuses there to keep moving :-) I'm currently home with a toddler (older ones in school) and used to be very sedentary, I'm an expert in finding games that require very little movement from me. Have been trying to change that lately and I'm amazed how many calories I burn from 30mins walking pushing a stroller! Try a DVD at home, the 4yo would love to join :-) I tried JM before and all my three were next to me doing jumping jacks and squats, didn't have dumbbells so we used couple of tins of beans and tomatoes each - they thought it was the best thing ever! (I injured my knee so that was the end of it) Today I saw a lady pushing a stroller with a toddler in and around 4yo on the buggyboard on the back, she was in her jogging gear pushing as fast as she can... Concentrate on things you can do with them and don't be perfectionist, every little counts.

My guy is so used to our walk now that once the older ones leave for school he brings me his shoes and lines up at the door ready to go. Many times I've been tempted to skip the walk but he doesn't let me :-) It's only been few weeks since we started but it seems he will keep me going

I have no advice on the gain, if you can't explain it with food/exercise changes maybe check with you GP about getting blood tests done?

Don't give up, you can do it!