Tired of being unhappy...

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yuko120
yuko120 Posts: 36
in Introduce Yourself
I gotta be honest. This is not the first time I tried this. I created an account on MFP like an year ago, and I lost like 30lb, but I stopped tracking and eventually quit. I hate myself for giving-up. I had so many supportive friends on here, and I let them and myself down. Yes, I gained back that 30lb I lost...and more.

I'm back, because I'm just so tired of being unhappy. Everyone I know would tell you I'm always smiling and I'm a happy person. I'm very friendly, and I love to talk. I have a very out-going personality, and people rarely see me angry or sad...but inside, I'm crying & screaming for help. I'm constantly depressed about not only my weight, but about personal stuff, and use food to comfort me.

I'm married to a bodybuilder. He's 6ft 1in, and between 220~240lb of pure muscle with less than 5% body fat. I'm 5ft 1in, and currently 220lb with 47% body fat (that means almost half of my body is all FAT!!). I was smaller when he met me...but I've never been skinny. I think I was between 140~160lb (which is still technically overweight, but I still felt comfortable).

Everybody thinks losing weight should be easy if my husband practically lives in a gym. Not true. It's actually harder for me. He works-out a lot, but he eats whatever he wants (unless he's dieting for one of his competitions). He loves to eat, so I cook for him all the time, and I can't help but eat what I make. Since he does his strict diet before competitions, when he doesn't compete, he doesn't want to eat all the healthy stuff (because he's so sick of it). Which messes me up, because he wants to eat all the food I shouldn't eat. How can I eat salad when I'm cooking Chicken Alfredo pasta for him?

Anyway....I made a decision to do it for real this time. No more quitting. No more feeling sorry for myself and making excuses not to get healthy. I'm tired of being out of breath just to climb up to my 3rd floor apartment. I'm tired of having to hold my breath and suck my stomach in, just to tie my shoes. I'm tired of not fitting into any of my nice clothes and always feeling ugly and fat. Though I want my husband to think I'm sexy again...I'm not doing it only for him. I'm doing this for myself...because I'm just tired of being unhappy. I'm a good person, and I deserve to be happy. There's so much I want to do in life, and my weight is holding me back from it all. I can be so much more than I am now. I decided to get healthy the right way....but I need MFP friends back for support.

Thanks for listening, and hope to start this journey with some amazing people. Feel free to add me as your friend if you want to do this together. :-)
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Replies

  • shrinkingvoilet
    shrinkingvoilet Posts: 1
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    I have a similar story Yuko, but I this is my first time here. I hope that we can support each-other! I need to lose 30 lbs!
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    my ticker doesn't lie, feel free to add me :) I am trying to push forward past the need to over eat and just be HAPPY AND HEALTHY :)
  • jmsharp1
    jmsharp1 Posts: 29
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    I'm 28, 5'3 and have dieted my whole life. I'm now a mother of 3 and after 3 pregnancies in 5 years, I;ve got to do something! I get motivated and do good but see no results = quiting and still being miserable.. Maybe this will work this time! Happy to support and help and listen for anyone whos ready too!!
  • gigi_RN2013
    gigi_RN2013 Posts: 141 Member
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    I think everyone feels the same as you. You're not alone. Don't give up! Just keep going even though it's hard. You can add me if you want :)
  • yuko120
    yuko120 Posts: 36
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    Everyone, thank you for all the support. I'm feeling positive about everything already. What a difference it makes when you don't feel like you're all alone in what seems to feel like a long journey.
  • Sunshine2plus2
    Sunshine2plus2 Posts: 1,492 Member
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    You can do it!!
  • Qtmommy3
    Qtmommy3 Posts: 7 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel! Fist time here... I'm hoping this time I can lose..and keep 30lbs off for good...letsvdonthis together add me If u want :D
  • JenevaMarie
    JenevaMarie Posts: 35 Member
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    Your not alone. We are all in the same boat, don't give up. Sent you a request. Good luck to you :)
  • abheshek
    abheshek Posts: 525 Member
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    work is worship.....do your work and forget about the result
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    You cook for your husband?
  • royvor
    royvor Posts: 271
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    I am with you. I just sent you a friend request. I feel the same way you do about happiness and how this is a state of mind we all deserve to have and feel. Lets fight for it and the only way is by changing our mind to change our body and through hard work and in this weight loss journey/lifestyle change we will accomplish it.
  • Bcmay13
    Bcmay13 Posts: 11
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    I know exactly how you feel. I'm new here and I'm so glad. Could use the motivation as well as a few friends.
  • 55559191na
    55559191na Posts: 2
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    Hi Yuko
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I am new and I really have hope that this program it is for me. I am open to any suggestions since I am learning from all of you.
    I need to loose at least15 pounce but it is harder to loose because of my age (59). I am determine to continue to this program and I like it.
    I know that you are going to do very well and reclaim your happy spirit back soon. Be gentle with your self.
    With loving
    Nico
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    work is worship.....do your work and forget about the result

    this is a good one :), I try to stay away from my scale and measuring tape and I notice I am a lot happier and work out a lot more!
  • AshleyChanel88
    AshleyChanel88 Posts: 8 Member
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    You're definitely not alone. It's not easy to log every single thing that you eat. Our lives are super busy as it is, but with the right motivation you can do it! Feel free to add me. Good luck to you dear. :-)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Good luck! Welcome back. I also found it hard not to eat what I cooked but I did it or at least sometimes had smaller portions of it.
  • Docmahi
    Docmahi Posts: 1,603 Member
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    Yeah just because your significant other is in really good shape, it certainly doesn't make it any easier to get in shape yourself! I definitely understand that one from experience

    Just stay consistent you got it!
  • sjoaquin
    sjoaquin Posts: 63
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    I feel the same way, I dont even want to go out or do dinner or anything like that because of the dressing up part. i hate not fitting into anything or buying anything that i feel looks right on me. This used to be my fun was to dress up and go to dinner or out, since i work 60 hrs a week. With 5 kids this is rare to do, im new to mfp and today i weight in after a week :) trying really hard but its really hard to keep up with especially since i LOVE FOOD!
  • Darmonatrix
    Darmonatrix Posts: 35
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    add me chick - ill whinge when your naughty and cheer when you do good :)
  • super_J73
    super_J73 Posts: 257 Member
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    You can do this. I felt the exact same way. I was so unhappy and stayed home because I was so embarrassed of how I let myself go. It takes hard work, and determination. I can tell you that my life has changed for the better. I'm a happy. I feel like I'm a better Mother as well.
    Also, I'm a huge emotional eater. When I get the urge (which is a lot) I make sure I have healthy choices in the house, and brisk walking with my ipod has helped so much, nothing like music to get you in a good mood!

    You've got this!!! :smile:

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