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Assumptions about motivations (Rant)

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
Posts: 6,256 Member
[rant]
Does anyone else ever get annoyed at the way that some people here and IRL, make assumptions about the motivations behind other people's behaviors? I see it a lot around here. It is mostly in the "Why are people so mean" threads and sidebars, but it's not exclusively there. I occasionally get flme PMs about my posts and they show up a lot in there as well. Point is, unless you talk with the individual involved, you don't know why they are doing what they are doing. Just dont' tell me why I am doing something. Here are some of the more common assumptions that get to me:
"Aren't we all here for the same thing: to support each other an motivate each other?" - Uh. No. I am here to log my calories and get myself fitter. The social aspect is a nice side feature. I do support my friends, and try to offer advice on the forums, but that is not my primary purpose in being here.
"You bullies are only mean like this because you are on the internet. You wouldn't say that to someone's face." - Uh. yeah I would. I am probably a little nicer here than I am IRL, because this lacks tone of voice and other non-verbals that would help convey my tone.
"You are only being a bully to make yourself feel better about yourself" or "You are a bully because you.." were never hugged, are sexually frustrated, have no other life, etc. - Uh. Once again - No. I get and give plenty of hugs. I have a sex life. I am well adjusted in society, I am if anything overloaded with work, running my kids around, volunteerism. I have plenty of other life. If anything I need to cut back. Maybe I just talk that way because I don't like to be indirect. Why *****foot around a subject. If someone needs to hear something, let them say it.
"You just are..", sarcastic, or not taking it seriously, "...because you want to...", be mean, bully, be rude, etc. Uh. - no..well sometimes. Usually, I just joke. I was the fat jolly guy. I always use humour in many situations. If it is in a serious thread, it may be an attempt to defuse things. Sometimes because y'all leave a perfect setup that can not be resisted. Sometimes humour is not necessarily a bad thing, especially in a potentially divisive or inflammatory subject. Why can't we have fun while trying to lose weight, get fitter, maintain, or whyever we are here?
[/rant]
Does anyone else ever get annoyed at the way that some people here and IRL, make assumptions about the motivations behind other people's behaviors? I see it a lot around here. It is mostly in the "Why are people so mean" threads and sidebars, but it's not exclusively there. I occasionally get flme PMs about my posts and they show up a lot in there as well. Point is, unless you talk with the individual involved, you don't know why they are doing what they are doing. Just dont' tell me why I am doing something. Here are some of the more common assumptions that get to me:
"Aren't we all here for the same thing: to support each other an motivate each other?" - Uh. No. I am here to log my calories and get myself fitter. The social aspect is a nice side feature. I do support my friends, and try to offer advice on the forums, but that is not my primary purpose in being here.
"You bullies are only mean like this because you are on the internet. You wouldn't say that to someone's face." - Uh. yeah I would. I am probably a little nicer here than I am IRL, because this lacks tone of voice and other non-verbals that would help convey my tone.
"You are only being a bully to make yourself feel better about yourself" or "You are a bully because you.." were never hugged, are sexually frustrated, have no other life, etc. - Uh. Once again - No. I get and give plenty of hugs. I have a sex life. I am well adjusted in society, I am if anything overloaded with work, running my kids around, volunteerism. I have plenty of other life. If anything I need to cut back. Maybe I just talk that way because I don't like to be indirect. Why *****foot around a subject. If someone needs to hear something, let them say it.
"You just are..", sarcastic, or not taking it seriously, "...because you want to...", be mean, bully, be rude, etc. Uh. - no..well sometimes. Usually, I just joke. I was the fat jolly guy. I always use humour in many situations. If it is in a serious thread, it may be an attempt to defuse things. Sometimes because y'all leave a perfect setup that can not be resisted. Sometimes humour is not necessarily a bad thing, especially in a potentially divisive or inflammatory subject. Why can't we have fun while trying to lose weight, get fitter, maintain, or whyever we are here?
[/rant]
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Replies
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geeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz you're so mean....I know it is just because you want to bang me...but please can't you just go back to being supportive?
/sarcasm font0 -
Well somebody must feel an inch tall in real life and not have xyz....
^^ Is my most favorite judgmental put down.0 -
I never get hate mail... *sigh*0
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I never get hate mail... *sigh*
Try harder!0 -
I enjoy the misdirected hatred of others. It feels like they had a need to criticize or something and I helped them realize their ambitions.0
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Funny thing is I always see the people complaining about "bullies" calling others out and insulting them for "being mean." There is a report button for a reason. If they are truly being rude/insulting, use it. Reciprocating makes you mean, too.0
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I never get hate mail... *sigh*
Try harder!0 -
OP are you PMS-ing?
~hands you a Midol~0 -
Funny thing is I always see the people complaining about "bullies" calling others out and insulting them for "being mean." There is a report button for a reason. If they are truly being rude/insulting, use it. Reciprocating makes you mean, too.
My favorite! The other day some lady said this: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And you seem cranky--you may want to grab a snack."
I laughed and laughed.0 -
Funny thing is I always see the people complaining about "bullies" calling others out and insulting them for "being mean." There is a report button for a reason. If they are truly being rude/insulting, use it. Reciprocating makes you mean, too.
My favorite! The other day some lady said this: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And you seem cranky--you may want to grab a snack."
I laughed and laughed.
But did you grab a snack??? and if so, what did you eat? inquiring minds..0 -
But did you grab a snack??? and if so, what did you eat? inquiring minds..
Had a wank to hateful imagery.0 -
But did you grab a snack??? and if so, what did you eat? inquiring minds..
Had a wank to hateful imagery.
that is totally unsatisfying for me...I mean seriously? you couldn't have lied to me and said "snickers" or somethang?0 -
f you're not laughing at it, you're not understanding the seriousness of the situation0
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OP are you PMS-ing?
~hands you a Midol~
Nope that was last week. It just gets under my skin when people dismiss siht and throw out one of these excuses for why you are an a-hole. Always has,0 -
But did you grab a snack??? and if so, what did you eat? inquiring minds..
Had a wank to hateful imagery.
that is totally unsatisfying for me...I mean seriously? you couldn't have lied to me and said "snickers" or somethang?
I'm sorry! I eat 2500 - 3000 calories a day. I'm seldom hungry. :-/0 -
I don't think anyone has ever gotten mad at me here really. I did get called a butterface one day though.0
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but really.....who cares?0
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I've gotten two hate mails so far. Strike one and Strike two. ....Must be more sensitive to civilians...must be more sensitive to civilians....must be more sensitive to civlians...0
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Huh. That^^ reminds me. I have received a strike. I appealed it and lost. lol
I'm also on a photo ban for posting my boobs too much. But that's nice, not mean.0 -
@ OP... stop being so damn sunshiney and loveable for goodness sakes! I am trying to hate you here!0
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I don't think anyone has ever gotten mad at me here really. I did get called a butterface one day though.
I saw that thread. That comment stuck out because she could have called you anything in the world, but butterface? That's not even true. And I'm pretty sure she was complaining about people being mean. One of those things that makes you go :huh:0 -
I have one strike, too, for correcting someone's spelling. Listen, if you have a Masters, you should know how to spell :huh:0
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I don't think anyone has ever gotten mad at me here really. I did get called a butterface one day though.
I saw that thread. That comment stuck out because she could have called you anything in the world, but butterface? That's not even true. And I'm pretty sure she was complaining about people being mean. One of those things that makes you go :huh:
That was one of the funniest threads ever!0
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