Dealing with people!

chercee
chercee Posts: 120 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok, so besides the fact that I'm on this amazing, life-changing health and fitness journey, I'm also on a new diet (in the sense that there are things I'm not allowed to eat - not in the "losing weight so I'm dieting sense) that is quite restrictive. It's working, and it's helped my medical condition a great deal. Yeah!

Here's the issue: Over the next few months, we have quite a few family events to attend. Not attending is not an option, and I wouldn't want to deal with it that way anyway. Because my diet is so restrictive now, there's no way eating other people's food is going to work. If I eat something I'm not supposed to, I will be quite ill rather quickly, and suffer for a few days after.

So here is the situation: I want to just bring my own food from now on, because I don't want everyone to try to cook for me with all these restrictions. Is this rude? Is it rude to accept an invitation and say, "I'd love to come, but I'm going to bring my own food because...blah blah blah..." If I were hosting, I wouldn't care, but some people in my family can be quite ... oversensitive.

So really, what do I do here? How do I navigate the inevitable comments, challenges, etc? I hate stirring up trouble. Me going gluten-free caused enough havoc three years ago.

Replies

  • addmorecloud
    addmorecloud Posts: 78 Member
    I would possibly tell them you're on a restrictive diet and offer to bring your own food to see what they say. I remember my mum once cooking for hours when a vegetarian family friend was coming, who then announced she'd become vegan with no warning at all so couldn't eat all the food she'd made.
    My mum would have quite happily cooked vegan food if she had been warned, I think she quite likes the challenge.
    I don't think it's rude to take your own food, but give your hosts the choice, they might just surprise you.
  • chercee
    chercee Posts: 120 Member
    Thanks for the input. I would agree, though with some family members just dealing with the gluten-free was hard enough (and I got sick more than once). Now that I also can't have dairy, soy, caffeine, or red meat, it will be even more complicated. At least for the next while, I'm just not willing to be their kitchen guinea pig. Maybe that seems rude, but I feel like I'm finally figuring out that I need to put my health needs first.
  • tjl2329
    tjl2329 Posts: 169 Member
    You could do both. If you can eat salad bring a big one. If there is food you can eat great. If not just eat what you've brought. I bring my food quite often just in case. Some people get annoyed but that's there problem. Good luck. I would definately give them a heads up if you think they would like to cook for you but if they will he offended don't say anything. Your health is your business.
  • MommaChocoLatte
    MommaChocoLatte Posts: 389 Member
    I don't think its rude at all especially if eating this food is going to make you sick.. your health comes first.

    This is something I can relate to. My brother has Crohn's, so he has a restrictive diet also, there are a lot of foods he has to stay away from or he will get physically ill.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    If you explain to people that you have been prescribed a special diet, they won't mind.
  • bronx1101
    bronx1101 Posts: 48
    Maybe you could also offer to bring a few dishes that everyone else can enjoy, too?
  • chercee
    chercee Posts: 120 Member
    If you explain to people that you have been prescribed a special diet, they won't mind.

    You'd think so, wouldn't you? I developed a severe gluten intolerance three years ago due to my medical condition, and I have heard more garbage from people than I would have ever thought possible. Everything from, "It's in your head," to "You're just following a fad," and more hateful things too. It's sad.

    I guess after going through all that with everyone (well not everyone, but enough people) before, I'm just feeling anxious about doing it again. I wish I didn't have to talk about it at all, but I'm going to have to say something, one way or another.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    When you explain that you want to bring your own food, you could suggest you didn't want to put them to more trouble cooking for you with your restrictive diet.

    I don't have restrictions, but have family/friends with special diets, and totally understand someone not being able to eat certain foods.
  • TristansHawk
    TristansHawk Posts: 114 Member
    I would let them know that your doctor has said you cannot have X because it makes you really sick. My aunt just recently cannot have gluten, and we get together all the time for food (special occasions, to play cards etc.). We tell her what we are thinking of having, and she tells us what she cannot eat. She always brings food with her and usually makes a little more than what she needs so we can try it (its fun to see how good/bad it tastes). It would never bother us, but I agree that it might bother some people if you don't warn them. Offer to bring gluten free dessert for everyone to try ;)
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    This isn't helpful to you, but if people brought food to something I was hosting, I wouldn't be bothered in the least. In fact, I love parties where everyone brings a dish.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    I would inform them and bring your own food. It isn't rude to look after your health and if they think it is put ex lax in some chocolate brownies for them and see if they like dealing with the effects of eating something that will mess with their system.
  • rider72
    rider72 Posts: 119
    Maybe you could also offer to bring a few dishes that everyone else can enjoy, too?

    ^^^AGREED^^^!

    I would speak with whomever is hold the event (or planning it) and make that offer and be up front about your new eating habit. Almost vegan by the sound of it, maybe some lean chicken or fish? I found it easier to tell people that I was vegan vs. trying to explain limitations (you can have some good conversations on how that style - or near to that style - has changed your life).

    I have some friends that thought it was wierd, but after I told them why, the benefits, how it was working for me, they've started making dishes that fit my diet, and even started to enjoy many of mine.

    And depending on the event...eat before you go and focus on a salad and veg just to be social. Theres ways around it (but agreed it can be a challenge)

    Good luck!
  • Alison12121
    Alison12121 Posts: 198 Member
    I would just be honest with them. I'm sure they'll be understanding because they don't want you to get sick. Also, if you bring your own food, they'd probably appreciate it, because they don't have to worry about getting you sick. I get really nervous cooking for people with allergies because I don't want to be the one to send them to the hospital.
  • AlexThreeClaw
    AlexThreeClaw Posts: 73 Member
    I would inform them and bring your own food. It isn't rude to look after your health and if they think it is put ex lax in some chocolate brownies for them and see if they like dealing with the effects of eating something that will mess with their system.

    I like this idea. It sounds like some of the people you need to deal with are somewhat less than reasonable. If they gave you trouble about going gluten free, they're almost certain to respond the same way about these new restrictions. If they can't listen to reason and respect your healthy decisions, give them a small taste of what it's like for you.

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