Feeling Hopeless About My Weight

I'm just really upset :\ I spent a year losing 60 pounds. I lost it unhealthily, though by not eating enough. I lost my period for a couple of months..
Then I binged at the beginning of the year, and I realized I couldn't continue to under-eat. So I started eating 1800 (I'd been eating that much for 18 days) and I gained weight. I got my period back, but....

My thighs are bigger, my legs have this uncomfortable fat at the top when I sit down, I have thicker arms now. My jeans are getting uncomfortably tight. I'm so upset with how I feel and look.

5'5", 127.6 pounds. Not muscular.
I'm thinking about cutting down to 1350-1500, because I don't know if I can keep doing 1800 and gaining. I know I'm young so I need more calories, but I don't know if I need that much.

I just need advice/support...I'm so upset about this.

Replies

  • jadams1650
    jadams1650 Posts: 139 Member
    Start heavy lifting immediately. Contact a personal trainer and get some instruction on the proper form. You are not particularly overweight, you just need to reconstitute and redistribute the weight. Good luck.
  • Start heavy lifting immediately. Contact a personal trainer and get some instruction on the proper form. You are not particularly overweight, you just need to reconstitute and redistribute the weight. Good luck.

    What do you count as heavy lifting? I don't know if I'd be able to get a personal trainer right now.
    Should I cut back on calories?
  • rekite2000
    rekite2000 Posts: 218 Member
    Check out this out and see if it helps. It might take awhile for your body to readjust.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/521728-upping-cals-what-to-expect-why-you-need-patience
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I was eating 1200 cals or less for several months i platued for 3 months i started eating closer to 1500 (without exersise) and eating back my earned cals and dropped close to 5 pounds in just a few weeks might try this just set your weight loss goal to 1 pound a week
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You have already posted this today, and people told you to give it more than 18 days eating 1800 cals. Presumably this isn't what you wanted to hear....?
  • You have already posted this today, and people told you to give it more than 18 days eating 1800 cals. Presumably this isn't what you wanted to hear....?

    I know. I'm just very anxious because I'm gaining fat, not water weight :\
    I'm worried my jeans will no longer fit me. And I just need some kind of support or something, because it's driving me crazy.
  • Linkdapink
    Linkdapink Posts: 128 Member
    Try NROL4W (New Rules of Lifting for Women)... it will guide you into heavy lifting, which may be what you need at the moment. It also will help you understand what you should be eating to help gain muscle and look more "lean" which I figure is what you are aiming for!
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
    I would suggest talking to a doctor about your concerns and having him refer you to someone who can help you through this.

    Disordered eating habits and thoughts are hard to overcome on your own and it would be beneficial for you to talk to a professional who can truly help you gain a proper perspective.
  • larosita57
    larosita57 Posts: 60 Member
    Your weight is fine for your height! I'm a bit concerned about the descriptions you are using to describe yourself - quite honestly, it reminds me of myself when I was living with anorexia years ago. Even in my most painfully thin days, I always saw "fat" or flabbiness somewhere on my body. It set up an unhealthy preoccupation with food and weight that has plagued me for years. Please try to be kinder yourself. Yes, you can do some weightlifting, healthy eating etc, and maybe you'll get some results you like.....but I wouldn't let it consume all your mental energy, nor drive how you feel about yourself. Life's too short for all of that!
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    You are at healthy weight, you need to build some muscles to look toned. Keep eating 1800 (no eating exercise kcals) and lift heavy
    check out stronglifts or starting strenght or new rules of lifting.
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
    It sounds as though you have an eating disorder which can only be treated by doctor's care. Get some advice from a qualified doctor, quit watching the scale, and get some exercise such as Jillian Michaels 20 Day Shred to tone up the parts of your body that you don't seem to like. Quite honestly I am your height and never weighed that little all my adult life. Your self image seems a little skewed. That is why I suggest talking to a doctor and be HONEST with them.
  • ecw3780
    ecw3780 Posts: 608 Member
    Are you really active? 1800 might be too much if you aren't really active. I would drop it down to 1500 and see how it goes...unless you are really active. Also, going from not very many calories to a lot of calories can make you briefly gain weight, but it should work its self out. Also, based on your weight, I am worried about what you consider fat.