in-laws and money...Oh Lord help!

bacallmarie · July 2010

I really need to vent and seek advice. I am having a very hard because I went to a private Christian college and now I have around 80 thousand dollars in debt. Of course it was a bad idea and unintentional... my parents originally said they would help and then left me to take out more loans in the middle of the school year and I was also given poor advice by counselors and finical people that student loans weren't that big of a deal. Well my soon-to-be in-laws heard about my student loan debt and flipped a lid. Now they are saying that this debt will kill us and that we have no chance of paying it back and that we should file bankruptcy. I already know that you can not file bankruptcy on federal student loans, but I also have private student loans, which they think we should file over. My grandparents, who have very little money and my mom, who kinda screwed me over but is still my mom co-signed on these loans with me and so if I filed bankruptcy (if even possible) it would fall onto them. Which is obviously wrong and I refuse to do. Further more I think that it is morally wrong to file bankruptcy on these loans when we can afford to pay the minimum payments, which we can only afford to do at this point. We have taken get out of debt classes with our church and everything and if we only pay the minimum payments between now and then we would have to pay between 15-20 years, but does this really mean we are sunk and that we can't survive? We are working on ways to pay it down faster, but are his parents right or should I not stress and tell them we have it under control? Im so confused???? I thought that we would be able to pay it down and I know a lot of people have student loans???? Any advice on what to do or how to pay them down quicker?

marybethbeech · July 2010

EEK! This is such a stressful situation... My parents just found out what my fiance and I owe on our house and did the same thing. I think that if you can handle the payments, you have a responsibility to face your debts and pay them down. I know that's not always an option and people get in over their heads, but it sounds like you guys have it under control. I would thank your future in-laws for their concern, tell them that you considered their opinion and researched it carefully, but for your future and your credit it makes more sense for you to keep making the minimum payments. Who knows, maybe in six months you'll get a huge raise and be able to pay everything off in five years.

and you can always file bankruptcy in the future if you need to, but you can never go back and un-file.

Ellem86 · July 2010

Hi there, i thought i would reply because i regularly have financial worries too. I have about £30,000 of debt after going to university and then law school. I'm guessing £30,000 is probably about $50,000. I find it difficult to make ends meet too but I would never advise filing for bankruptcy if you can make the minimum payments. Being legally bankrupt will affect you in so many different ways for a very long time, not to mention make it virtually impossible to get credit. If this is something you are seriously considering I would strongly advise you to do plenty of research on what it means to be bankrupt first. I'm also not sure you can even file for bankruptcy if you can make the minimum payments. As you are clearly trying to work out how to best deal with your debt, I would ignore your mother-in-law as she is clearly not helping the situation.

princessorchid · July 2010

While I have never had any student debt (or anything bigger than an overdraft), I can say this - one of my friends filed for bankrupcy a few years ago when he was halfway through his second degree. He thought it would be an easy way out and not have to pay back what he owed...his parents couldn't afford to give him money and he has a brother and sister they were supporting through collegs so they were pretty skint. He now regrets it so much, because he has found it hard to get a job in a field he wants, and he cannot even have a debit card. Anyways, that's just my two cents worth. As someone else said ^^^, you can always file for bakrupcy later if you need to, but you can't un-file!

TabiHerbalifeCoach · July 2010

google Dave Ramsey.....hes the best financial expert see about taking one of his classes.

bacallmarie · July 2010

Thank you for all of your advice.

I have gone through FPU with Dave Ramsey, but I didn't put in exact figures with interest rates so I don't know all the details of paying it back. I have been doing his baby steps though.

bacallmarie · July 2010

and its more father-in-law than mother -in- law = )

lonypony · July 2010

I heard a financial speaker on tv around 10 years ago when my husband and I were in a similar position. We used his system and now own our house freehold and have another 2 properties which we rent out. We have 2 cars under 5 years and have been able to travel extensively overseas and within Australia.

70-20-10 and "PAY YOURSELF FIRST''

Work out your income each week/fortnight/month. Then do this - pay yourself first 10% and never forget. So this can be used for social outings/gatherings or whatever. Next 20% needs to go towards living expenses (food/household bills). 70% needs to go to the people you owe money to. Phone them and let them know your repayment plan. Try and combine your debts into one loan (not sure if this is allowed where you are but over here in Aust. we can). Also try and eliminate your smaller debts (eg credit card and store cards). Destroy your credit cards/store cards immediately and do not re-apply for them!

I wish you the best and just need to let you know that this system really worked for us. Be strict and I really do hope you pull through.

Leonie

jmatecki · July 2010

You are doing the right thing. Since you have been through Financial Peace you know that you are heading in the right direction. Keep going -- get gazelle intense and put every penny towards the debt---cut out all unncessary spending (it will be all worth it in the future without the debt). I would suggest you talk to you in laws and tell them that you appreciate your concern and show them the plan that you have figured out. I know your dilema (although now with student loans) we are working out way out ourselves.

Keep you head up and It will all work out....remember you chose to take those loans it's only morally right to pay them back.

in-laws and money...Oh Lord help!

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