If you USED TO be Vegan-- help needed!

"That's nice dear" covers it pretty well. He spoke....you heard him...acknowledged what he said. Now he can be a grown up and walk his talk. Make sure you're cooking enough veggies so he has something to eat, if you're cooking for both of you, but eat what you want and let him do the same. I think a talk with a nutritionist might be good for him..if he would agree that maybe he has some things to learn.

Well documented propaganda makes people brains fall out.

Like others have said, stop pandering to him. Just make meals where the meat is separate or in big enough pieces to remove and have a side of vegetables, if he wants something else he can make it himself. He's not a child.

I think he missed the ENTIRE POINT of Forks Over Knives. Isn't the point of this doc (and Food Inc., Food Matters, etc) that we eat plants, but as non-processed as we can? There is nothing healthy at all about energy drinks and chips.

I won't get on your soap box with you, no matter how tempting it is! Be secure in your belief that you are doing what you can for yourself, you have no control over his decisions and body, and some day he will understand that how ****ty he feels is because of his diet.

In the meantime, you can support your own health (and his) by making sure there are lots and lots of plant-based foods to go along with that delicious steak.

Stay strong, sister!

Eating Vegan can be unhealthy if you don't eat a balanced diet which it sounds like your Husband doesn't. He shouldn't need supplements if he eats right. Be supportive of him ignore his snide remarks. Back to the yes thats nice dear. Even willingly cook his separate dinners.

Then you can rightfully say I 100% support your eating choices please respect mine.

Energy drinks will only make him more tired and are really bad for him they can also be addictive.

I am not quite Vegan. I don't eat Meat, Cows Dairy and Eggs. But I do eat honey and Goats cheese as well as fish.

I eat the way I do because the foods I cut out make me ill. I was raised Vegan but went to Eating meat etc in my early 20's. 10 years on I realised by process of elimination my health problems were caused by Meat etc.

My partner cooks and often does 4 different meals She is a true Carnivore Blue steak being her favourite. The kids all eat different as well.

It takes time getting used to planning for several different meals but its worth it.

I used to be vegan all throughout my teen years, I went back to eating meat, and now at 30 I'm thinking of going beyond vegan and into a raw and living foods diet (if possible).

When I was vegan, I wouldn't touch potato chips. Mostly because of the hydrolyzed oil chocked full of man-made trans-fatty acids which are terrible for triglycerides and cholesterol. I also wouldn't "sneak" foods that were not vegan. That would make no sense to me. Either you are or you aren't. There's no two ways about it.

As a vegan, I had a ton of energy! It was the best I ever felt, which is why I'm considering going back to a similar lifestyle. I'm not the type of person to say "meat is the devil and it's going to kill you". We're all going to die eventually. A vegan/veggie/raw diet is not for everyone, that's for sure. People have to find what works for THEIR body,

It sounds as if your husband has not found what works for him yet. Crap food is crap food, it doesn't matter if it's animal based or not. I'm pretty sure between the hydrolyzed oils and sodium content, we can all agree that potato chips are a crap food. I've known a lot of lazy vegans that think they are healthy by subsisting on boca burgers and Amy's bean burritos. They aren't. This sort of mentality is common among newly-gone vegan people. It usually takes awhile for it to dawn on them that processed food is okay as a treat, but if health is the goal, they need to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables in their natural state.

The other key thing about when I was vegan, is the fact that I cooked my own meals. My mother cooked for the rest of the family. It was up to me, and I preferred it that way. My mother had never been introduced to that lifestyle, so how could she possibly cook for me?

I agree with the "that's nice dear" comments. It sounds like he's enjoying being on his high horse, and you don't have to fall prey to that. And tell the man to make his own meals. You aren't his slave, and you certainly don't have to join him in his vegan adventure. Maybe he'll get sick of his lack of variety and go back to eating whatever he wants. Or maybe he'll wisen up and actually do more research into how to get proper nutrition in a vegan diet. Either way, he's probably too stubborn to listen to you. You're just going to have to let him figure it out on his own, and ignore it. Or start breaking things.

Why are you cooking 2 separate meals?? You did point out that he's a big boy, so why not let him make his meals?

I was a Vegetarian years ago & became a strict Vegan for 2 years, all of this was years ago. I learned how to eat correctly by reading / purchasing magazines & books. I'd cook 2 separate meals only because my 2 son's were meat eaters & I wasn't. Time consuming= Most Definitely, but all well worth it to me. There's lots of info out there, he just has to learn to read more on what he should or shouldn't eat. Doesn't take a scientist to figure that out!

To this day I'm no longer a Vegetarian however, I eat very little red meat, no eggs, no regular milk and would take a Veggie Burger over a meat burger any day :happy:

Be Firm & tell him to get off his lazy butt & do his own grocery shopping & cooking! Tell him the stress for you isn't worth it. Be Firm & Hold Your Ground. Once he sees your Strength, he'll be dancing his own dance alone. Good Luck

I thought I was a vegetarian for a few years a long time ago- In truth I was mainly eating a lot of carbs and not so many vegetables. I was defiantly under the impression at the time that I was being really healthy by eating all I wanted of whatever I wanted as long as it was non-meat but got a big wake up call when I got some crazy lab work back from my doctor. When I found out my triglycerides were over 1500 I ditched the all carb diet. Good luck to you guys getting things sorted out.

Why are you cooking 2 separate meals?? You did point out that he's a big boy, so why not let him make his meals?

I was a Vegetarian years ago & became a strict Vegan for 2 years, all of this was years ago. I learned how to eat correctly by reading / purchasing magazines & books. I'd cook 2 separate meals only because my 2 son's were meat eaters & I wasn't. Time consuming= Most Definitely, but all well worth it to me. There's lots of info out there, he just has to learn to read more on what he should or shouldn't eat. Doesn't take a scientist to figure that out!

To this day I'm no longer a Vegetarian however, I eat very little red meat, no eggs, no regular milk and would take a Veggie Burger over a meat burger any day :happy:

Be Firm & tell him to get off his lazy butt & do his own grocery shopping & cooking! Tell him the stress for you isn't worth it. Be Firm & Hold Your Ground. Once he sees your Strength, he'll be dancing his own dance alone. Good Luck

Well, my husband works fulltime and I'm a stay at home mom. It's always been my responsibility to cook meals and do grocery shopping. So when I cook a family dinner, I started doing meat seperate or left out. I started cooking more vegan dishes. I bought things at the store just for him so he could have something quick and easy to just pop in the microwave. That's my idea of being supportive, I suppose. When he's at home he is usually sleeping. It would be a miracle if he would actually plan ahead and cook his own meals, but when I leave that responsibility on him is when his diet starts really lacking (even more so than usual). That said, I don't cook for him every day. I don't even see him every day, sometimes. This morning he is doing his own breakfast and it looks like he went with a can of corn and a can of kidney beans. :-/

It seems you mean well by cooking for him so he won't eat crap but this might be where some tough love comes into play. If he feels like crap for long enough maybe he will get it through his head that a crappy vegan is not healthy and he will research how to do it properly, or he will go back to eating omnivoirous and healthy or vegetarian.

Try not to be so hard on him--- he is at least somewhat health conscious even if his diet inst perfect. I definitely can understand why you are frustrated though. As a former vegan, it is very hard to do at first when you havent found a lot of foods you know how to prepare and sometimes you just cave if you are hungry and there is other food already cooked. I have adopted a sort of Mediterranean Diet and I feel great. I eat organic eggs, yogurt and cheese. A lot of fish, fruits and veggies. Perhaps you can convince him of this--its a little easier to have nutrition. Also, he might be more willing to eat or put up less of a fight if you buy organic. It might cost more but its his decision to be healthy so he should want that for you and the rest of the family

As a side note, I can handle a little bit of organic chicken occasionally, but I dont think I could ever eat a bite of a hamburger or finish a steak again...but if you cooked that , he can always eat the sides and grill his own fish or something....I hope you figure something out!

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. This sounds like a huge pain, and it isn't fair to you.

One way to approach this is by not bringing his veganism--or lack thereof, or whatever--into the picture at all.
Try to focus on telling him that your needs aren't being met in the relationship. Because, really, you're not upset that he's vegan.
You're upset that he's not taking care of himself, that he cheats and lies about being vegan, that he puts you down by trying to hold his diet as superior than yours, and that y'all aren't getting to spend the time together that you used to when you were active together (and he wasn't sleeping all the time).
If he was respecting your dietary choices, was eating healthy and was happy and energic, you probably wouldn't mind too much about making separate meals--or cooking beans and meat separately, etc--even if it was a hassle.

Personally, I am a vegetarian who has been transitioning to veganism for the last year, and I could not be talked into thinking that part of my diet was unhealthy for me, even if it was my partner telling me that. So, I would suggest just dealing with the fact that his veganism/non-veganism/whatever might last the rest of his life, and targeting the real unhealthy habits. Let him know you're not feeling close to him, and let him know every day, and try to get y'all's communication back up to speed. Then start phasing in dietary changes.

Here's some other ideas:
I don't know how much fresh fruit you keep in the house, but that could be a simple way to empower him to make better breakfast choices. And instead of buying processed frankens*** (haha, I love that), perhaps you could make something high protein in batch, that's easy to freeze, like soups or chilis, that he could grab and microwave himself. If he's not up to working out, maybe just asking him to take walks with you or even just step outside with you could help make him feel a bit more mentally ready to start exercising again.
You sound like you have a lot of power with groceries, so you could just stop buying the caffeine and the chips. Of course he can go out and get his own, but at least then he's not taking it for granted that it's just food in the house.
If you feel like you're eating too many carbs, like rice or pasta, just stop buying them regularly. You can eat a meat or egg protein source, he can eat a bean protein source, and then y'all can share a vegetable stir fry. Flax seeds and pumpkin seeds are relatively cheap, compared to nuts, if you want to see him eating more protein; broccoli is a powerhouse for calcium and vitamins; and spinach/kale/arugula is great for iron; non-dairy milks are good for B12 and omega 3 fatty acids. Don't try to make food eating a science, though; at first, just try to get in more of the foods he is missing out on, because any iron in a day is far better than none.
Vegans need to eat vegetables. But if he's eating right, eating enough, and breaks his caffeine cycle, his low energy should change without absolutely having to stop being vegan.
Tell him you feel like if y'all (meaning he, but don't use words that make him feel attacked) eat better, y'all will feel closer and have more energy.
Say, "I feel," instead you, "You are."
Or get him to watch another documentary on processed foods or the importance of sleep, hahaha.