But I'm afraid of the outside world!

autozomb
autozomb Posts: 13
in Introduce Yourself
My title really says it all.I live in a major city and HATE going outside. I have anxiety about being around other people.
I'll tie that in later.

Anyway, I am 22 and my daughter just turned 1. Before I got pregnant I was 150lbs. Now, for my height of 5'8 that was perfect but I always thought I was bigger than I was. Mainly because I was a lot bigger in high school. So once I got smaller I never really "enjoyed" being "thin". Also because the only reason I lost weight was from extreme anxiety that caused me to never go outside except to school and to never eat. (It was not my choice to not eat, everytime I did I would just throw it back up from panic attacks.) I have always battled with depression and once I became pregnant I never wanted to leave my home. I hated even going to the grocery store. My depression lead me to eat...And then eat some more...And some more...Until finally by the time my daughter was to arrive I had gained 85lbs!...How on earth does that happen so quickly?! Well the first few weeks of her life I was very sick from recovery (Found an infection, was allergic to antibiotic, healed very slowly, yadayadayada..) so I really didn't even get out of bed. It's been a year now and the weight on my body has greatly contributed to my depression and anxiety To the point where if my husband is not with me I will not leave my apartment.

OK, So the point of all this is;
I NEED to get all of this weight off. I get ill looking at myself in the mirror and I have tried working out at home but with a thin husband and no friends it is very hard to do alone...My diet is not the worst but can obviously use some improving. Now here's the kicker, I have a membership to the YMCA in my city but I'm afraid to walk over there and start anything because I have no idea how to have "me" time. I'm a shut-in and it's getting to the point where I am starting to get angry at myself. I hate being around people but want so badly to lose this weight..I guess not bad enough but it's been a FRIGGIN YEAR. I could really use the support and advice, hell even people who are starting their weight loss as well.





TL;DR: HI I'm Kari and I'm afraid of the outside world! HALP.

Replies

  • dimitymartin
    dimitymartin Posts: 20
    I am in the same boat as far as being a shut in. I downloaded some workout dvd's and bout some weights and last week I lost 1.2kg. I have major anxiety and depression too. You ar not alone :-)
  • mamosh81
    mamosh81 Posts: 409 Member
    same here and i hate ppl seeing me trying to work out i feel so ashamed then. You can look if your gym is an all night gym and go in the middle of the night or early early mornings like 3-4 am not many ppl there then i usually go for a morning walk around 6 am but i live in the no where with no neighbors just forrest and mountains pretty much.
    I also have an elliptical trainer for home i train with 2 times a day for 30 mins.
  • yellowsnowdrop
    yellowsnowdrop Posts: 154 Member
    I think unless you take that first step outside your front door, and believe me that IS all it takes, you're never going to feel better about yourself. Self esteem/motivation goes out of the window BIG style when you gain weight but you HAVE to be prepared, however scary it sounds, just to step outside of your front door and just walk to the end of your street and back.
    That's how I started. I was diagnosed a year ago with spinal stenosis (narrowing of the spinal canal causing pressure on the nerves and giving me chronic back pain and sciatica) I hardly left the house for 9 months except to go grocery shopping with my husband in the car. I gained 42lbs in that time and still amazingly thought I was O.K.
    The first time I left the house on my own to go for a walk I had a panic attack and couldn't breathe (or thought I couldn't, I obviously COULD as I'm still here!!) but I persevered and now I'm back at work part time , have lost 18lbs in about 8 weeks and feel good about myself for the first time in a year. I still have a LONG way to go but believe me that first step on your own is the scariest after that it just gets better.
    I really HOPE that it gets better for you very soon, add me as a friend if I can help in any way.
  • MustachioNerd
    MustachioNerd Posts: 34
    I have social anxiety and agoraphobia. I know that feel bro.

    Depression causes me to eat a lot as well.

    Good luck. Hope you find something that works.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    look up agoraphobia, I think you may have that. Counselling with a good therapist may help. Someone experienced in dealing with agoraphobia.

    In the meantime, working out at home may be an option, so you can get started with the exercising, and also tackle the agoraphobia in your own time. There are loads of exercise vidoes on you tube, to get you started. There are also internet self help groups for agoraphobia that *may* help (everyone's different though, you can always ditch the group if it's not working out), and some counsellors will do counselling via skype.
  • smithtat
    smithtat Posts: 3
    I know exactly how you feel. Im a single mommy. My little is 8 months old now but i have yet to lose my baby weight. I have actually gained weight from not getting out. Going out can make me nervous. I kind of use the baby as a excuse not to go out with friends even though she is fine. During the day we rarely go out for many reason so i was eating out of stress and boredem. I hate the way i look right now. I used to be thin and like you didnt really know beause i was once the fat kid in school. So i decied no more "attempts" at weight loss. Im going to do this. I used my tax return to invest in a jogging stroller and ive been taking the baby out to jog in the mornings for the last week. Most people are either asleep or off to work so thats nice. Also i feel so proud of myself and the stroller and my beautiful little one that i feel like, let em look i feel awesome.
  • LillyBoots
    LillyBoots Posts: 114 Member
    These 3 natural products really work with depression and anxiety, taken daily you will feel the results in a couple of weeks.
    2 handfuls organic raw cashew nuts
    Vitamin B3
    Vitamin D3

    Good luck with your weight loss and struggles
  • dewdrop
    dewdrop Posts: 1,715 Member
    Take small steps. Allow yourself to be a little bit hungry. Forgive yourself for falling off the wagon. We're just human, after all.

    Who cares what the other think of us? The important thing is how you feel in your own skin. Sometimes we judge the others too harsh - give people a chance: sometimes they think nicer things of you than you are ready to believe. And at the end of the day, you have a husband and a daughter -these are blessings that not everyone have. All that being said, get out there and have some fun while using the stationary bike or lifting some weights! :smile:

    You have lost weight before, so you know that this is possible. Focus on your little one and devote your time to bringing her up and you'll see how, slowly, food will stop being the central point.

    One more thing: wanna be friends? :wink:
  • dewdrop
    dewdrop Posts: 1,715 Member
    Also i feel so proud of myself and the stroller and my beautiful little one that i feel like, let em look i feel awesome.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: That's the proper attitude!
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
    Take it slowly :) life's a marathon :)

    Start off small, go out to somewhere that does not have that many people.. keep going there until you're completely comfortable going there, then go somewhere else that also has very few people.. From there work your way through so that its at your own comfortable pace :)

    What may help is having a friend of yours help with getting to places and if needed help with support :)

    Good luck!

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