My story...friends wanted

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SugarPickles
SugarPickles Posts: 12
in Introduce Yourself
Hello everyone,

I am sorry if this is too long but I wanted to get it out there...

I remember being in elementary school and being bullied. I was not overweight at all at that time as some of you may think. I was just tall for my age! I was taller than everyone in my class. I was called things like “dinosaur,” and “giant.” And so it begins…I ate. I would bring things to my room and hide under my pillows and eat. I would sneak into the kitchen when everyone was asleep. I ate every bit of chocolate I got for Easter in one sitting that I got violently sick. Seconds and even thirds at the dinner table was a nightly occurrence. But, for all this overeating…I was not overweight. I had an incredibly high metabolism and was completely normal.

Fast forward to 23 years old…I fell in love with a man who was 12 years older than me. He already had a daughter from another relationship. We were only together 4 months when I discovered I was pregnant. For those of you who are still reading…This is where everything goes down hill…

I left everything…job, family, friends to be with him. My pregnancy was miserable (ordered bed-rest)and he did everything to make things worse. He started out making little comments that you could almost believe was just a joke or concerned all at the same time (after all…he was a nurse). “Get off your lazy butt and go for a walk with me. It might help.”

Fast forward another 3 years…those little comments escalated as they usually do. One day we were arguing about something simple and I went outside to get some air but not before slamming the door. He chased me outside and put his hands around my throat and almost pushed me over the back balcony. All of this was witnessed by our young son.

Fast forward another 2 years. Our son is then in Kindergarten. It was the Victoria Day holiday. Wahoo…long weekend, right? Things went extremely wrong and I almost lost my life that night and I can’t go into details as it still extremely bothers me. Long story short…I had enough and called the police and he was sent to jail.

All through this time…I ate and overate for comfort. That adds up to 25 years of overeating!! It is a miracle that I don’t weigh a lot more than my current 237 lbs. I started at 247.

Fast forward another 2 years…I am here writing this now…the anniversary of that last fateful night is coming up…May 20 and I have vowed that I will finally take care of myself. I will promise not to let my emotions control my appetite and lose this extra weight for not just myself, but my son as well.

Replies

  • frugalafterfifty
    frugalafterfifty Posts: 240 Member
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    I'm tall too - 6'1". I've got history behind me too. I'd like to lose about 30 lbs. Please feel free to add me as a friend. I'm on and off several times a day and trying to stick with it this time. ~ Terri
  • kniknaack
    kniknaack Posts: 32
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    Hello SugarPickles,
    I'm sorry for your painful past. I hope being on this site encourages you as it has me. I have been uplifted daily by these wonderful people and we ALL just want to be the best and healthiest we can be. So, welcome to MFP and may your journey be a as pleasant as mine has been. :flowerforyou:
  • SugarPickles
    SugarPickles Posts: 12
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    Thanks :)
  • primal7
    primal7 Posts: 151 Member
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    Welcome to MFP!
    You got this!
    Feel free to add me as a friend!
  • krisbarger3285
    krisbarger3285 Posts: 19
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    your story has touched me so much! Feel free to add me as a friend. I understand how emotional and physical abuse can cause someone to over eat so much. I too went thru some of this abuse but nothing as bad as yours but I am sooo glad you got out of that situation as I did too!
  • arturo_marti
    arturo_marti Posts: 13 Member
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    Hi there ! I would like to help you, I red your story and felt a bit sad, (sorry to say), but the good thing is that you are a fighter (just for being here I can tell).
    If you are new to a program I would love to recommend to you to buy or search (please dont believe Im trying to sell anything around here! you can even get it free in a torrent if you know what Im talking about), an e book named "Burn the Fat feed the Muscle by Tom Venuto.) It will save you countless time and mistakes that we make when trying to lose weight.
    I would loved that somebody had told me since a long time a go. There are no short cuts or miracle diets or pills that will make your goals a reality. It takes hard work and discipline, but it will be so rewarding. (and it is not THAT hard really !)

    Hope you take my advice
    Greetings

    Arturo
  • jjuullzz
    jjuullzz Posts: 33 Member
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    You have gone through some horrible things, and are still standing...tall!! You should be proud that you survived and can now be the very best version of yourself! MFP is an awesome place to find friends to help you and support you on your journey. You can absolutely add me, and I will cheer you on!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    Ive never understood how a man can contemplate putting his hands on a woman like you described...whether he loves them or not.

    at least you got out asap....i have known women who gave their spouses the benefit of the doubt several times over and while they arent to blame for their husbands behavior they are to blame for thinking it would change.

    congrats to you on this
  • stephaniedickey71
    stephaniedickey71 Posts: 1
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    Wow! Congrats to you for 1) kicking him to the curb and 2) your progress so far! I was in a situation that, thankfully, never reached that critical point. Once it started getting physical, I didn't stick around long. Luckily, I had a great support system. I also have a daughter with the person (I refuse to call him a man, or a real father at this point). I have been in your shoes to a certain degree, and know how hard it was for me. I can only imagine how much harder it was for you. I had never really paid attention to what I ate through high school and was only slightly over weight. Once I became pregnant, I actually started to lose weight because the doctor didn't want to believe that I struggled just to keep water down. Once I got some meds, pack on the pounds and basically begin hell. I became depressed both during the pregnancy and post partum. I was not even allowed to take depression meds after she arrived because he said I didn't "need that sh**, I needed to get in there and take care of the f***ing baby!" You know the gist of how it goes from there.

    When she was almost 2 he tried to take off with her because I tried to break up with him. Another year or so later came the restraining order. My saving grace was his super loser status! He had no job, no where to live, and no cash cow anymore(me), so he moved to his mom's in another state. It took several more years to be ok with being me and being alone with my daughter. Most recently, I realized I was not ok with who I was anymore or how I looked. My highest weight was 236. When I actively decided I could not keep going like this I was 232. My last weigh in, I weighed 199. I am officially at the weight when I was 9 months pregnant. My daughter will be 10 this year!

    Well this turned out way longer than I was intending, but the main gist is things will get better. Keep up the great work. And if you need any encouragement, someone to talk to, or anything, I would be glad to help you out!
  • suz_ers
    suz_ers Posts: 31 Member
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    Hi Sugar! Sorry to hear about your past, but at least you stood up and said this is enough! I am proud of you for getting you and your family out of the situation, unfortunately it isn't always the case. I am also an emotional eater, it's a hard habit to break, but we CAN do it! I've tried to lose weight quite a few times, but have had difficulty sticking to it. I lost 25 pounds last year by this time, but gained it all back, and then some. I am also 237, so I understand how you feel! This site is great, people are wonderful and provide motivation and support. I'd love be friends so we can help each other through our journey! :)
  • KtotheD78
    KtotheD78 Posts: 58 Member
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    What an awful past but you are so strong and I am proud of you for making good choices now! The past is a good spot for that history to stay, for sure. Congrats to looking ahead and moving forward. You did right for yourself and your son!
  • Fat2FitACE
    Fat2FitACE Posts: 34
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    SugarPickles you deserve happiness! You deserve the very best life has to offer! Don't you forget that. You are a fighter and now it is time to fight for all your dreams. NOTHING can stop you now!!:bigsmile:

    I am proud of you for putting yourself out there. I would love to have an amazing friend like you.....request is on the way
  • kliermann
    kliermann Posts: 514
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    Welcome and I have to say MFP has helped me a lot the support here is amazing! You can add me if you would like I will give you all the support i can :)
  • SugarPickles
    SugarPickles Posts: 12
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    Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story and reply. I'm just sorry I never got out sooner. It took me 7 long years to get there. Now 2 years happily single!!! I have accepted everyone who added me. You can never have too many friends in this life!!! Hope everyone does great with their weightloss :flowerforyou:
  • aimeepostma
    aimeepostma Posts: 13
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    It is hard but I have faith that you will come out on top of all of this pain.
  • ctina197six
    ctina197six Posts: 379 Member
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    The best part of the story is you are no longer in the abusive relationship, even though the stress and emotional damage lives on with in you. You can over come it in time. You and your son are worth it..
  • jerryallegood
    jerryallegood Posts: 31 Member
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    You are a winner! You are intentional and motivated. Score!!!

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