Help! Out of control again...

Hey,
So I'm fairly new to MFP. I joined about two weeks ago, and have had the most amazing two weeks ever (until yesterday).
I have about 40 pounds to lose. Everything was going great (I tracked everything I ate, I exercised, I drank lots of water (which is huge for me), and I felt absolutely amazing!!!) But then, yesterday, we celebrated my daughter's fourth birthday, and I refused to eat some cake (I was so proud!) Then, we came home...and I decided to have one leftover cupcake...then another one...then another one. OMG! I can't believe I gave in to temptation! So, I woke up this morning thinking that this was going to be a new day, and that I was going to forget about my weak moment yesterday. But then I helped myself to a slice of flippin' cake again! (It was a big slice, so now I'm at my daily limit, and it's only mid-afternoon!) Needless to say, the rest of the cake and cupcakes are in the trash, but now I feel like trash!
Thanks for letting me vent a little! How can I undo what I just did? How do I get back on track before I totally spiral out of control???
Thank you for listening!

Replies

  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    awwww...take a breath....you're ok. When you eat those calories, make them worth it & enjoy it....don't deprive yourself....this is a lifestyle change...not a "diet". figure out what made you go back for the 2nd & 3rd cupcake.....long day? reward? band aid? crave? don't be hard on yourself....you're only human.....you didn't gain the 40lbs overnight & it won't be lost in the first few weeks....enjoy your daughters bday party...and a cupcake :)
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    i dont bring leftovers home, for exactly that reason. i was at a birthday dinner on saturday, my aunt offered me the rest of the cake to take home, i declined. i also told her to just leave it at the restaurant so that she wouldnt be tempted with it at her house... needless to say, she took the cake home, and it was gone by the next day...
  • TAMayorga
    TAMayorga Posts: 341 Member
    You're going to hear this over and over again on MFP - because it's true. The key to success is to treat this as a lifestyle change - not a diet. IMHO, the mistake you made was denying yourself the cake in the first place. Your daughter will have a birthday next year, and the next, and the next... and you will want to celebrate that. So plan ahead next year; eat a light breakfast and maybe do a little extra exercise that day/week.

    So you ate too much cake 2 days in a row - how many of us here haven't? You can overcome this and create new habits for yourself that include celebrating the good things in life. For the next 2 days eat light, exercise more, and learn from this experience.

    Good luck to you, and happy birthday to your daughter! :flowerforyou:
  • JenRunTriHappyGirl
    JenRunTriHappyGirl Posts: 521 Member
    you did exactly what I would have done and threw the cake away. You can't undo what you did and we all do things like that sometimes. Easter Sunday, I grabbed a fork and went to town on a cake... didnt even bother to cut a slice, just stuck a fork in it!. What you can do though, go for a walk, exercise and make better choices the rest of the day. Then start again tomorrow. I know its devestating, but you can't beat yourself up over it. It happens to everyone. And one or two bad days is not the end of the world. You got this! Keep going and you will be fine!
  • lkplibra
    lkplibra Posts: 147 Member
    Take a big breath and slow down. You don't have to be perfect!

    Yes, it was an over the limit day yesterday and today might be one as well, but stop beating yourself up. You can do this and it isn't going to be a light switch change but a general (read slow) and steady change in behavior if you want to make this a permanent difference.

    I would suggest go for a 30 minute walk or do something around the house (cleaning, dancing to silly music, or anything that gets you moving). This will give you a little wiggle room in your calorie allowance for the day and then eat a reasonable dinner. A grilled chicken breast, 1 cup of fresh strawberries, and 1 cup of microwave steamed green beans or broccoli is a reasonable dinner with a lot of volume for less than 400 calories. That shouldn't put you over your calorie goal too much for the day.

    Then start fresh tomorrow and let this go. :wink:
  • I make sure I never have any unhealthy snacks in the house. If I don't have it I can't eat it. Sometimes my boyfriend buys potato chips and I make him hide it from me. If I see it the temptation becomes to great and I can't help myself.
  • res119
    res119 Posts: 27
    My favorite motto for losing weight is "out of sight, out of mind." I do the same exact thing whenever something like that happens to me. It could be cake from a birthday, or even just a bag of chips my boyfriend just bought. Before I know it he's saying "where did all my chips go?!" oops...haha. You did the right thing by throwing it all away! Now just make sure there aren't any other temptations in the house, and if you feel the urge to eat again either occupy yourself, write a pro and con list, or even just think about how fantastic you have felt for the past two weeks!!! You don't need to undo what you just did, just keep going and try not to look back. I know it's hard, but usually what works for me is pausing and thinking about what I'm about to do.

    Good luck, you can do this!!!
  • cathyg18
    cathyg18 Posts: 150 Member
    I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. I know that I have had a few of these kind of days. I agree with other posters, do not beat your self up. Your day is not ruined. From here on out for the rest of the day, make the better choices and up your activity. Burn more of those calories. And when tomorrow comes, continue making those great choices that you were making before the cupcakes. What happened earlier is over, in the past. Keep looking forward and keep going! You got this! :smile:
  • gailowens75
    gailowens75 Posts: 5 Member
    I too have the same problem, for me total abstinince is the only way, I do nothing and can do nothing, like eat sweet things in moderation.

    It happens with me from time to time. The best thing to do is not to beat youyrself up, your human. Chalk it down to experience. Start afresh tomorrow, it is a new day.

    Best Wishes From Ireland!
    Gail
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
    I am in the same boat with starting off wonderfully, but then falling a couple days in a row. All I can offer is to pick yourself back up, brush yourself off and do better today! :) I am sure that doesnt help, but the guilty feeling you have, is only going to make it harder to move on! One step at a time! YOU CAN DO IT!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    i do not sit around craving cake, but if there is a huge colorful silky creamy cake sitting there calling my name, im going to dive into it... so, i rather have my piece, throw away left overs, and be done with it... im not deprived, but im also not tempted for 2 days while it sits within my reach!
  • RobertS9539
    RobertS9539 Posts: 3 Member
    I couldn't agree more with the other posts. Don't be beat yourself up because stress has been known to "encourage" people to eat more of the things they shouldn't. Not having temptations around the house is also a good way to prevent slip-ups. If anytime you have something that you know is high in calories and low in nutrition, log it quickly to remind yourself not to have more. Or better yet, go through the process of logging it before you eat it. Then decide if you really want it. You can always delete it back off later.

    Good luck and keep logging. Make that the new habit.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    There would be no way I could have that type of food in my house without eating it all in a day or two. Maybe someday I'll be able to limit myself to one serving, but I know right now that's not going to happen - so it just doesn't come home with me in the first place. Sometimes we can only acknowledge our weaknesses and plan ahead.

    Now that it's in the trash (although the garbage disposal would be a better place), consider it a lesson learned and move forward.
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
    You threw away the cake - AWESOME!

    When I've had a bad day or two, I try to look at my weekly goals for the rest of the week. If those 1 or 2 days were really bad I might not be able to stay UNDER my weekly goal, but seeing how continuing to do well for the rest of the week minimizes the damage of those 1 or 2 bad days really helps me to stay motivated.
  • SaritaBeth
    SaritaBeth Posts: 5 Member
    Cake happens! For me, when I slip up a little, I think about how I can make my next meal better, that way you don't throw away the rest of your day with indulgences or guilt trips, and think to start fresh tomorrow.. There's still a lot of damage that could be done between the slip up and tomorrow. Having a treat now and then is totally normal and acceptable, and use your next meal as a way to stay motivated!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    It happens to most of us. Throwing away the rest of the cake was a major win. I don't know if I would have been able to do that.
  • MayaSPapaya
    MayaSPapaya Posts: 735 Member
    And I ate 4 smores, and a large piece of pie with ice cream on Saturday.
    We're human :) We're all going to indulge once in a while, next time I suggest letting yourself have the first piece of cake. You should find that it fed your craving, and you won't be tempted the next day.
  • spirytwynd
    spirytwynd Posts: 141 Member
    You were right when you got up this morning. Today is a new day. Maybe you slid a little today. That won't totally negate what you have already done. When you wake up tomorrow, it will be a new day too. It will be a new beginning, if you let it be one. For that matter, the next minute (yes, the one that follows this one while you read my post) will be a new beginning -- IF you let it. You took in some extra calories and stuff. OK. Do something about it. Take a long walk. Go for a run. Swim some laps in the pool. Bench press your kid or go push the kiddo on the merry go round or swing. Get out and DO! You can sit still and mope about it, get depressed and bash yourself - or, you can get out there and be active and start burning those calories off. The choice is yours. Do you want the shadow under your butt or under your feet? Choose life (yours). Put the shadows under your feet and get moving. The path lies before you. Your past is in your rear view mirror. Let it stay there! :-)
  • wiltl
    wiltl Posts: 188 Member
    Well, you can't really "undo" what you did. What you can do is recognize it happened, realize it didn't make you feel any better and pick yourself back up and continue on.
    For me, this was the hard part. Feeling guilty over it never helped and I ended up feeling worse than before and thinking "well, f it. I might as well not bother". I had a hard time with not seeing results immediately and feeling like I couldn't do "normal" things while trying to lose weight. Turns out that I needed to learn patience, be honest with myself and ask for help when i needed it. I'm still working on the first two and found out I had a medical issue with the third, and I'm moving in the right direction with all 3 now.
    I decided that I wouldn't deny myself any particular food group from the beginning. That helped me with the binge issues, so that if I knew that I could have *some, I wouldn't want *all. If you think you're not the type that gets triggered by something that leads to a binge, then maybe you are the type that can have a little and move on? Do you think you wouldn't have eaten all of that later, if you'd had a small piece during the party?

    Don't discount the success of two awesome weeks!
  • TAMayorga
    TAMayorga Posts: 341 Member
    Do you want the shadow under your butt or under your feet? Choose life (yours). Put the shadows under your feet and get moving. The path lies before you.

    Ooo! I like this! ^^^
  • pell53
    pell53 Posts: 20 Member
    Great that you felt comfortable posting about it.

    One of the things I've found most helpful is to MAKE myself enter the stuff I ate so I can appreciate how many calories, etc. it was. Usually it's not as bad as I imagine, although sometimes it's worse. But putting it in there gives me a feeling, however small, of control. I'm not just a victim (self-victim) - I can own it. Maybe I didn't this time....but I can.
  • 98777
    98777 Posts: 108 Member
    You're going to hear this over and over again on MFP - because it's true. The key to success is to treat this as a lifestyle change - not a diet. IMHO, the mistake you made was denying yourself the cake in the first place. Your daughter will have a birthday next year, and the next, and the next... and you will want to celebrate that. So plan ahead next year; eat a light breakfast and maybe do a little extra exercise that day/week.

    So you ate too much cake 2 days in a row - how many of us here haven't? You can overcome this and create new habits for yourself that include celebrating the good things in life. For the next 2 days eat light, exercise more, and learn from this experience.

    Good luck to you, and happy birthday to your daughter! :flowerforyou:

    This person is exactly right.

    At first, I truly didn't think I could lose weight at all because I have a problem with compulsive over-eating. Everyone around me ate sweets and I completely cut all of them out of my food plan. I wouldn't let myself have even a single piece of hard candy or anything. Eventually, I would give up and fall off my diet plan after a binge on the latest Easter candy or birthday cake, etc.

    Just recently, I have started to be much more moderate. I tell myself it is a lifestyle change and that I CAN have what everyone else is having, so I just eat the one cupcake. Then I don't feel deprived and my mind can let it go. It fits very well into my daily calories and so I have lost no ground, gained no weight.... I am still losing weigh in fact! Just make sure these instances aren't everyday.

    I am telling you----the key thing is to REALIZE IT IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND EAT WHAT YOU WANT IN MODERATION!
  • greeniedgirl
    greeniedgirl Posts: 10 Member
    I agree with Salcha76! ( " awwww...take a breath....you're ok. When you eat those calories, make them worth it & enjoy it....don't deprive yourself....this is a lifestyle change...not a "diet". figure out what made you go back for the 2nd & 3rd cupcake.....long day? reward? band aid? crave? don't be hard on yourself....you're only human.....you didn't gain the 40lbs overnight & it won't be lost in the first few weeks....enjoy your daughters bday party...and a cupcake :) " )


    It took me 2 years to get 40 pounds off, I joined MFP a month ago to help me stay on track to get the rest of my weight off. I found the best thing to do is keep supportive people close to you and never allow yourself or anyone else to kick your touche. I have found when you have a "bad day" to log it, every bit of it. Don't turn a celebration into a torment! You will never step off that road once you start. It is important to find why you kept going back (I have done that many times) and when I dug deeper I realized that if I could make my physical self hurt (by overeating), my mental would seem to have a break. I am really big on digging into the past to understand reasons, reactions and habits. Its quite a freeing experience.

    You're ok, we are not born running and baby steps don't happen all in one day. They happen one at a time, little by little. Beating yourself up or worrying over it will only make you feel worse. :)

    Keep up the good work!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Totally agree with the non deprivation line of thought. Instead of refusing yourself a treat, go ahead and have it. Just try to plan for it by keeping your food light or get some exercise in if you can. You're much less likely to have these binges if you make peace wtih the sweets instead of treating them like the enemy.

    My past experience was the opposite and I finally realized that's why every diet I'd ever tried had failed in the end - I love food and I wanted to have all the choices out there, not just some. I still eat pizza and sweets and all that, I just find a way to make them work so they don't totally derail my efforts and I'm much happier for it. I've never stuck with a diet longer than a year and here I am 3 + years in and still going strong!

    We all have these blips and that's how you need to view them. Beating yourself up is just a total waste of time and energy because you sure can't hop in a time machine and go back and change what you did. And obviously giving up is not an option... The most important thing is to get right back on track and you made a huge step in the right direction by trashing the leftovers. Good for you!

    Don't starve yourself the rest of the day or any of that. Get some exercise in, eat a light dinner and today will be a new day.
  • melsbels1986
    melsbels1986 Posts: 21 Member
    WOW! I am overwhelmed by everyone's responses! Thank you so much! I feel like I can get back in control. WOW! (I want to be friends with all of you. lol!)
  • melsbels1986
    melsbels1986 Posts: 21 Member
    You were right when you got up this morning. Today is a new day. Maybe you slid a little today. That won't totally negate what you have already done. When you wake up tomorrow, it will be a new day too. It will be a new beginning, if you let it be one. For that matter, the next minute (yes, the one that follows this one while you read my post) will be a new beginning -- IF you let it. You took in some extra calories and stuff. OK. Do something about it. Take a long walk. Go for a run. Swim some laps in the pool. Bench press your kid or go push the kiddo on the merry go round or swing. Get out and DO! You can sit still and mope about it, get depressed and bash yourself - or, you can get out there and be active and start burning those calories off. The choice is yours. Do you want the shadow under your butt or under your feet? Choose life (yours). Put the shadows under your feet and get moving. The path lies before you. Your past is in your rear view mirror. Let it stay there! :-)


    WOW! Thanks a lot for this response!
  • gr8xpectationz
    gr8xpectationz Posts: 161 Member
    Something that might help you in the future is a tip I got from a friend who's had success in losing a substantial amount of weight and keeping it off: the "not yet" trick.

    She says: I never tell myself "no". "No" makes me feel deprived. It turns it into a battle of wills within myself.

    Instead, I often tell myself "not yet". "Not yet" is a much easier response to live with. Can I have a cupcake? Yes! Can I have another one? Sure, but not yet. In a little bit. And when "later" arrives, the craving has passed.

    It seems like a dumb little piece of self deception, but it has helped me tremendously.
  • gr8xpectationz
    gr8xpectationz Posts: 161 Member
    Another piece of wisdom I learned from someone on here: "You don't drown because you fall in the water, you drown because you STAY in the water."

    A bad meal...or a bad day...or a bad weekend? No big deal. It doesn't have to be the top of a slippery slope. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just get back on plan and pick up where you left off.

    Lastly, if you find this kind of compulsiveness is a problematic pattern, use the "notes" or "blog" features on MFP to record how you were feeling, what triggered it, etc., so that you can look for patterns or insecurities that can sabotage you along the way.
  • mkoff32
    mkoff32 Posts: 88 Member
    I know what you're talking about. I have sporadic days like this and I used to freak the heck out. But now, I just keep going though my routine knowing I'm going to hit a speed bump every so often. For example last night I had like 900 calories left after being meticulous all day and having exercised. Then my buddy called me to play cards. So, 8 beers, some chips and dip and 100 bucks later... I was feeling pretty guilty. I just woke up today and it was business as usual. It happens, if you deprive yourself of these days, you'll be miserable. What good is living life if you're in shape but can't enjoy yourself every once in a while?
  • Don't beat yourself up about it. It was one day. Maybe it will take a little bit of work for you to take off the couple extra pounds that you put on, but it sounds like the damage that was done was mostly to your unrealistic expectations.
    My wife and I have different dieting approaches. She deprives herself, but then when she gives in, even a little she feels guilty, and will almost punish herself for it. She will then exercise more, deprive herself of choices that may be good, but less good then something else.
    I on the other hand, endulge in treats almost daily, or maybe a few times a week. I am careful to indulge in the earlier part of the day rather than before bed. I moderate what I am indulging also. I will often have a little of what I want and throw away the rest. And when I really indulge, like going to Laughlin with friends for the weekend, I did not deprive myself of what I wanted, put on a few pounds and then got back on the horse and felt great because I had a great weekend with some freinds and my wife.
    I hope this helps you. Have fun with this journey rather than treating it like it's your old world mother who is peeking around the corner to catch you at doing something wrong and then guilt you for it. Find your balance. God bless!