time appart ( is it healthy)

2loose4me
2loose4me Posts: 10
in Motivation and Support
I am not sure where to put this so i hope i have the right place, but i wanted to get the oppinion of married couples on something, is it healthy in a marriage to taje time appart and i dont meen just a weekend? Iur input would be greatly appreciated

Replies

  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    You mean like the movie " hall pass" ? No its not healthy.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    As in traveling for business?? What do u mean?
  • Brenda4105
    Brenda4105 Posts: 117 Member
    I think it is very healthy. My hubby goes away for about 5 days every 6-8 week. With out this time apart, I think I might kill him! We need the time apart.

    As far as the "hall pass" don't knock it till you try it. :noway:
  • marygee1951
    marygee1951 Posts: 148 Member
    I'd like to give him a hall pass -- and change the locks while he's gone. :bigsmile:
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    I'd like to give him a hall pass -- and change the locks while he's gone. :bigsmile:

    Lol
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    I've been married 28 years, and time apart is agony.
  • 2loose4me
    2loose4me Posts: 10
    I mean like to try and make a marraige work. I hear so many views like its good and its not. So i dont know if it would help a marraige or not.
    And no not like a hall pass lol
  • veganstein
    veganstein Posts: 33 Member
    I think that sometimes people need to separate for a while to gain perspective and seriously consider their relationship. I have been married for 23 years,so I have some understanding of the stresses of a marriage.

    Separating is a serious step, but I think that it sometimes needs to happen.
  • Broejen
    Broejen Posts: 414 Member
    My husband is away for 2 weeks for work then comes home for a week and then the cycle starts all over again. He's been doing this since October (and was doing 3 weeks on, 1 week off up until last month), and we are doing okay so far.
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    I mean like to try and make a marraige work. I hear so many views like its good and its not. So i dont know if it would help a marraige or not.
    And no not like a hall pass lol



    I think you'll get wise pros and cons on this. I personally don't think it's a great idea, and yet my husband worked out of town for a few months last year and only came home on weekends (or I visited him). It was unavoidable and we made the best of it. But in general it's not for me. I also don't go for having a marital spat and one sleeps on the couch ~ nope, that's not for me ;).
  • iamsamsma
    iamsamsma Posts: 12
    I've been married 28 years, and time apart is agony.


    Together 22 years (married 18) and I feel the exact same way!
    We have friends that like to vacation seperately and always want one of us to go with them, but I would never go without my hubby! I want to share fun experiences together as well as the every day challenges that come along.
  • Shange_Gully
    Shange_Gully Posts: 106
    sounds like ur in a shyte relationship tbh
  • leeanneowens
    leeanneowens Posts: 319 Member
    People have to do whatever works for them but I don't want to be apart from my husband. He has had to be away for work for a few days a couple of times and I hated it.
  • gettinfitaus
    gettinfitaus Posts: 161 Member
    I mean like to try and make a marraige work. I hear so many views like its good and its not. So i dont know if it would help a marraige or not.
    And no not like a hall pass lol

    How can the marriage work if the moving parts aren't together? That's like taking a clock apart and expecting it to keep time!
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    It depends on the relationship, the reason for being apart, the circumstances and what you really consider being apart. No one can really answer for you.
  • lisadoe71
    lisadoe71 Posts: 23 Member
    It sounds like a marriage counselor may be a good option for you to start as it seems like there may be problems in your marriage. If that is the case, time apart would not be a good idea as you will continue to drift farther apart instead of strengthening your relationship. If money is an issue, maybe you or someone you know has a pastor you can talk to. Of course in healthy marriages, everyone needs some alone time. There is no right or wrong, it's just what works for YOUR marriage.
  • brigeweeks
    brigeweeks Posts: 18 Member
    I think it depends on the current relationship you have with your hubby. If your marriage is already on the rocks, separating won't help. You only avoid the problem. I have been married for 24 years. My husband goes to Alaska for 4 months every year during the summer. Our marriage is solid and the separation is not a problem at all. It makes us appreciate each other more after he is back. I'm also very independent and have no problem being by myself. So it works for us, but it's not for everyone.
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    It sounds like a marriage counselor may be a good option for you to start as it seems like there may be problems in your marriage. If that is the case, time apart would not be a good idea as you will continue to drift farther apart instead of strengthening your relationship. If money is an issue, maybe you or someone you know has a pastor you can talk to. Of course in healthy marriages, everyone needs some alone time. There is no right or wrong, it's just what works for YOUR marriage.
    Very nicely stated. I happen to agree completely. Lord knows that marriage is hard work sometimes, but without the work how can there be any benefits? Best of luck!
  • reefer954
    reefer954 Posts: 1
    having the feeling of wanting or needing time apart is never a good feeling. but sometimes seperation is what it takes to help you realize how truly lucky you have it with someone. distance does make the heart grow fonder.

    but i believe if you are a mature adult, already committed into something like a marriage you should not be taking time apart. ... ya kno? be a grown up! be real! be decisvie! quit playing games. imagine yourself without each other. most likely right now you are probably just taking eachother for granted. just stop the nonsense! be in love! and willing to compromise. things get difficult but you made this life together for a reason. take a step back and remember that.

    unfournately if these look to you as mountains to climb you may have found the wrong person.

    good luck. be strong. do what feels right. everyone deserves to be happy
  • VictoriaFitness2010
    VictoriaFitness2010 Posts: 175 Member
    Could you provide a bit more information? Are you talking about a week? Month? Several months?
  • amyk0202
    amyk0202 Posts: 666 Member
    I think if your marriage is strong, time apart wouldn't hurt you (like if one of you has to go somewhere for work), but if you are having problems it would cause more problems than it solves. It's really hard sometimes to talk through your problems but I think it is the only way to solve anything. Time apart is not communicating.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    I quite enjoy a little time appart if it's a brief work trip but I've always told him if we had a fight and seperate then it's for ever. I'm not dealing with that crap, it would be heart breaking! You should talk and work it out not leave each other for a while. Get help if you have to.

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