Inner beauty vs. outward appearances

once i started feeling better about myself internally, i guess i started acting better because i started getting noticed for my external appearance WAY more. nothing really changed about my appearance, just the way i carry myself. so the inner has influenced the outer in a measurably positive way.

conversely, getting noticed for the external has had a bit of an effect on me internally, although not nearly as much.

mostly i just want to feel so good about myself internally that it does not matter how i think i look externally. like, if i didn't even think about how i look at all, that would be awesome. i think it's attainable: i just have to make all the awesomest choices in terms of eating, exercise, attitude, lifestyle in general, etc. and things will line up inside and out.

i do like to look awesome, but i don't get too hung up on it. i'd much rather feel awesome about myself. i enjoy it when others think i look awesome, but i'd much rather be appreciated for internal awesomeness. i'm pretty comfortable with myself inside and out, within the context of understanding that i will always strive to improve myself...

It's funny to think of character and beauty in mutually exclusive ideas. I think the two concepts are intertwined more than we'd like. The "ugly person with a heart of gold" mythology is born from our idea of justice and fair play, as is the "beautiful person who is heartless" or even the "beautiful prince/princess who must learn character through some challenge later in life." We want stuff to even out.

It's likely someone who is physically ugly had to deal with more challenges that those more attractive, and somehow developed a deeper sense of inner beauty. It's also likely that same person became a bitter recluse, never developing any character at all. And whose only meaning is derived from waxing philosophical on fitness forums.

I used to think the idea of women radiating during pregnancy was bunk sold to the masses to increase Hallmark card sales. Until I watched two co-workers at a school I worked at years ago noticeably change. Two different women, two different times - I asked them if they got their hair cut, new glasses, etc. I stopped short of exclaiming "you look more beautiful than I remember seeing you" because that would be kinda creepy, and weird in front of a bunch of six-year-olds. I found out later both women were pregnant and were really happy about it.

I know there are hormonal changes that go on with pregnancy, and there are physical, biological things going on (lots of crazy stuff too) that could be attributed to the change. But I believe a lot of the beauty I saw was contentment, hope, joy, excitement of being a mom - especially a first-time mom. Those inward emotions had a physical affect on the outward appearance.

My point? Ladies, go get knocked up to look hotter.

My serious point is that character contributes to beauty. And I think the idea of pitting inward vs. outward beauty against each other (or a necessary trade-off) is counterproductive. Confidence, kindness, patience, a love and appreciation of self - these are character traits - "inner beauty" that contribute to "outer beauty" in ways that make-up, nice clothes and boob jobs can't. And I'm not saying that make-up, nice clothes and boob jobs can't contribute to beauty. I'm simply saying that as there are a multitude of ways to define beauty, there are a multitude of ways to achieve it.

I take what I want, use what I need, and keep what I find.

Ahh, a fellow psychopath. Hows it going? :bigsmile:

It's funny to think of character and beauty in mutually exclusive ideas. I think the two concepts are intertwined more than we'd like. The "ugly person with a heart of gold" mythology is born from our idea of justice and fair play, as is the "beautiful person who is heartless" or even the "beautiful prince/princess who must learn character through some challenge later in life." We want stuff to even out.

It's likely someone who is physically ugly had to deal with more challenges that those more attractive, and somehow developed a deeper sense of inner beauty. It's also likely that same person became a bitter recluse, never developing any character at all. And whose only meaning is derived from waxing philosophical on fitness forums.

I used to think the idea of women radiating during pregnancy was bunk sold to the masses to increase Hallmark card sales. Until I watched two co-workers at a school I worked at years ago noticeably change. Two different women, two different times - I asked them if they got their hair cut, new glasses, etc. I stopped short of exclaiming "you look more beautiful than I remember seeing you" because that would be kinda creepy, and weird in front of a bunch of six-year-olds. I found out later both women were pregnant and were really happy about it.

I know there are hormonal changes that go on with pregnancy, and there are physical, biological things going on (lots of crazy stuff too) that could be attributed to the change. But I believe a lot of the beauty I saw was contentment, hope, joy, excitement of being a mom - especially a first-time mom. Those inward emotions had a physical affect on the outward appearance.

My point? Ladies, go get knocked up to look hotter.

My serious point is that character contributes to beauty. And I think the idea of pitting inward vs. outward beauty against each other (or a necessary trade-off) is counterproductive. Confidence, kindness, patience, a love and appreciation of self - these are character traits - "inner beauty" that contribute to "outer beauty" in ways that make-up, nice clothes and boob jobs can't. And I'm not saying that make-up, nice clothes and boob jobs can't contribute to beauty. I'm simply saying that as there are a multitude of ways to define beauty, there are a multitude of ways to achieve it.

Yet another perfect response, Ken.

Sure, I'd like to date someone attractive. Would I date someone attractive with a crappy personality? No.
Would I date someone less attractive who is great all around otherwise? Yes, but this may be a copout, because once I get to know someone who is smart, kind, funny and so forth, they become attractive to me.
As for myself, I'd like the outsides to match the insides.

Inner beauty. I feel like if I had a better character, I wouldn't care so much about outward appearances. And I wouldn't be interested in guys who put a priority on that. Plus, looks fade with age anyway.

^THIS

I take what I want, use what I need, and keep what I find.

Ahh, a fellow psychopath. Hows it going? :bigsmile:

You mean sociopath?? :laugh:

Until I lose the weight I'm going with inner beauty.

character for both.

i sometimes go out of the house looking like hell if it means getting things done that I feel are my role and should not be squelched on.

case in point today, i went out without combing my hair and in sweats intended for a workout, when i felt it necessary to do some important other task that I couldn't in good conscience ignore. If i'd taken the time to go home and change and curl my hair, it would have seemed like bad form to me. I hold others to the same standard. Or you're out of my circle. The end.

character for both.

i sometimes go out of the house looking like hell if it means getting things done that I feel are my role and should not be squelched on.

case in point today, i went out without combing my hair and in sweats intended for a workout, when i felt it necessary to do some important other task that I couldn't in good conscience ignore. If i'd taken the time to go home and change and curl my hair, it would have seemed like bad form to me. I hold others to the same standard. Or you're out of my circle. The end.

There are some days I am in my sweats all day long. I commute in the morning to go dance, then I eat lunch, then go to the gym to workout, then run errands, then pick up my kids from school (I will change before picking my kids up, if there is time).

Inner beauty. I feel like if I had a better character, I wouldn't care so much about outward appearances. And I wouldn't be interested in guys who put a priority on that.

I think this is a very good way to look at it and made me rethink my own thoughts on the matter.

I'm strong on the inside, and I want to be strong (and fast) on the outside.

As long as she melts in my mouth AND in my hands, I'm good