What do people mean when they say............

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Holton
Holton Posts: 1,018
in Motivation and Support
So what is it with people who look at you and recognize that you have lost weight (I have lost 40 lbs since January, which was my goal), say you look great, B U T then say, please don't lose any more. (keep in mind that I am at 140 lbs. at 5'7", so not necessarily petite). Are they just trying to compliment me in a weird kind of way, or are they trying to tell my that I look "bad" in a too thin sort of way???? If only one person had said this, I wouldn't be posting, but it has been a frequent remark, so I am just wondering????

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  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
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    I am one of those people and I said it out of genuine concern for my friend who looks "scary thin". BTW - 140 for 5' 7" is on the lower end of most charts - but not if you have a small frame. I am sure they are just concerned. Just say "Thank you - I am at my goal now".
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Well, I am still fat so when they say it to me I just LOL! and hug them
  • wolverinefactor
    wolverinefactor Posts: 38
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    I keep getting "oh you lost weight... on purpose?" Do i look ill or something? I'm floating around 185 at 5'8". Most of it is my legs and belly (legs are thick/muscle) while I just have a flabby stomach but I always wonder why people word it in such a way :/ I think I look healthy
  • TabiHerbalifeCoach
    TabiHerbalifeCoach Posts: 691 Member
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    140 for 5'7" is on the low end as mentioned before, so you're friends are probably concerned, especially if you were overweight, sadly when overweight people like us loose large amounts of weight the eating disease explanation isn't far from peoples mind, i'm sure just out of concern. I agree just reassure them you've reached your goal.
  • porterbaby38
    porterbaby38 Posts: 1,401
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    people are telling me the same thing, but i'm 5'6" 165lbs. and i still have 25 to 30 more lbs to lose. i'm still not happy with my body, i want to get to 135 to 140lbs. all my problem is my stomach, the flabby arms, flabby thighs and my butt needs to lift up more. they think i should stop to, but i still have alot of body fat. and plus my bmi is still saying that i'm overweight still. so i'm going to keep going until i feel alot more happy with my body.
  • lyndsloo
    lyndsloo Posts: 242
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    Yes! In the past, when I was thin, many people would say that to me. Usually the people that would say it were on the heavier side. I think it was comforting for them to have a friend on the heavier side...I'm not sure.

    Since then I've (obviously) gained a lot of weight, but people are still in disbelief when I tell them I want to lose around 70lbs, even after losing 23lbs. Even my sister said, "SEVENTY LBS...SERIOUSLY? You'd end up weighing 60lbs, Lyndsey" That would mean right now I weigh 160lbs, HAHA!

    Either they don't realize how HEAVY I actually am or they are just super nice and are trying to make me feel better about myself. You'd think my own damn sister would be honest though! :)
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    For a medium frame 5'7" woman (which I am), 133-147 is normal, so guess that I am feeling that at 140 I am mid-range and could lose another 7 pounds (which I actually would like just to have a buffer of sorts), but don't have plans to do - focusing on maintenance at this time. I guess I am just concerned as to how I "really" look to other people.
  • cmak8
    cmak8 Posts: 14 Member
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    Typically, I think people also make comments like that because they are jealous. It is human nature to be jealous of other people hence why we are a competitive race of species. I think you need to value the opinions of those close to you, if they say you are needing to stop, consider it. It sounds like you are doing amazing. Congrats.
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
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    Typically, I think people also make comments like that because they are jealous. It is human nature to be jealous of other people hence why we are a competitive race of species. I think you need to value the opinions of those close to you, if they say you are needing to stop, consider it. It sounds like you are doing amazing. Congrats.

    :flowerforyou: This is true... also people don't like change... especially when it is US changing and not them....:flowerforyou:
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
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    So what is it with people who look at you and recognize that you have lost weight (I have lost 40 lbs since January, which was my goal), say you look great, B U T then say, please don't lose any more. (keep in mind that I am at 140 lbs. at 5'7", so not necessarily petite). Are they just trying to compliment me in a weird kind of way, or are they trying to tell my that I look "bad" in a too thin sort of way???? If only one person had said this, I wouldn't be posting, but it has been a frequent remark, so I am just wondering????

    I have had that said to me in the past and find it incredibly irritating.

    They are used to you at a certain weight see, it takes them a while to get used to the new you.

    I used to enjoy telling them that I only had another 42lbs to go and watch their faces :laugh:
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    I used to enjoy telling them that I only had another 42lbs to go and watch their faces :laugh:

    Ha Ha! I like your sense of humor! Thanks!
  • JABehler
    JABehler Posts: 82 Member
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    I hear you! I am 5'6" and currently at 128. I'm just about where I'd like to be, I think. But I hear that too and really feel uncomfortable because I don't know what to say back. So what if I want to lose another 3 lbs and be 125. I may get there and decide for myself I'm too thin. If anyone has a good response other than an unsincere "thank you" I'd like to hear it.
    BTW, new pic is great.:smile:
    Jacque
  • Michellerw1
    Michellerw1 Posts: 367
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    I think if they are close friends they are genuinely expressing care even if the words are coming out wrong. I am guessing they just are trying to say you look amazing just like you are and dont want you to go TOO drastic.

    Maybe just say something like "I feel great! My goal now is to stay healthy!" That is really all they need to know!
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    Maybe just say something like "I feel great! My goal now is to stay healthy!" That is really all they need to know!

    That is a good response and in general I have been responding that I am now in maintenance mode (though I would like to lose 2-3 more lbs. to have a little "wiggle" room). I just need to get my brain to shut off and stop trying to analyze what they are saying!
  • funkyspunky871
    funkyspunky871 Posts: 1,675 Member
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    I'd take it as a compliment. :) I'd love it if somebody told me that I don't need to lose anymore, lol. That's a long time from now though.
  • pfenixa
    pfenixa Posts: 194 Member
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    I've been thinking about this same topic alot lately because I hear it too. I know I'm healthy for my height now but I'm aiming for what I weighed in high school, and I definitely wasn't underweight then. In fact, it's right in the middle range for my BMI.

    I keep thinking what the cause is is that everyone is so used to seeing people be overweight. The majority of our country is overweight, so being a healthy weight isn't "normal" anymore. So if you're under the "normal" weight/appearance of most people, then you look underweight. It's funny because our celebrities and models are generally super thin and maybe underweight, but when it comes to everyday folks we expect them to be overweight.
  • atynk
    atynk Posts: 400 Member
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    Don't stress to much about it, there will always be people who think they know better what you should weigh or look like. I have found in my own journey people telling me several times that I should stop now (like 15 lbs heavier)... I am 5"9 and weigh 147 and still feel I could make it to 140. I am not a stick by any means or eating too little. My response to how much more are you going to lose has been" as long as it keeps coming off " I figure if I am still losing, then I still have more to lose. Some people may think you look perfect now, but you yourself my know u can still lose a bit more . I had my body fat tested to see if I should even keep trying. Turns out I am still 27% body fat. It is still healthy but even if I lost 10 more lbs I would still be in the healthy range, just look a bit better lol.. and now who doesn't want that!

    Don't let anyone's comments make you feel uncomfortable, feel proud of what you have done!

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