New, looking for motivaters who exercise

Hi All

Looking for motivators friends who exercise. I am in my early 50’s, have almost doubled my weight in the last three years. I was always healthy, happy, active, did not think much about weight or what I ate. My weight fluctuated between 115-135 for my 5' 2" small frame. I always lost weight quickly just by not eating sweets and exercising. Over the past few years I've had some difficult times, lost best friend to cancer, lost dog, dad and other issues, I just stopped everything, become inactive, and started eating. I gained 25-35 pounds a year and now weigh 220. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. All my clothes don't fit and I wear the same things all the time. My family is always after me to get healthy and fit! My husband is frustrated wants his healthy wife back who was happy -go-lucky, beautiful, and had fun! I get out of breath just walking down the driveway and have difficulty climbing the stairs to my front door and getting up into his truck. My grown children tell me they are embarrassed by my weight. I tell them I am embarrassed too!..And they reply_-Mom, then do something about it! My kids are healthy but each does their own thing and goes their own way. My husband says I have to help myself. They all get frustrated not understanding. I feel like I am on my own.
At work the other day a security guard walked me to my car, it was his last day and he said he just wanted to say farewell. As we made our way to my car he said you are so nice and pretty if you lost weight I bet you could be Mrs. America I've always wanted to tell you that and not make it sound mean or weird. I smiled thanked him and got into my car and wanted to cry because that is what my family is always saying to me, and it's not the first time a well-meaning stranger said you should lose weight. Also I just ate a candy bar
I want to fit into my clothes, have fun again, feel and look beautiful. I am sick of myself and can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. The saddest part is I know what to do -- eat healthy and exercise.....and I don’t do it! I have all the exercise equipment -- and all the excuses to match! So here I am at MFP wanting my life back. I am a good motivator and know exactly what to say and do.....I need someone to reciprocate.