New girl at a gym full of Men...

charliehefferon
charliehefferon Posts: 223 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey, I'm hoping someone can help...! :smile:

So, I started a new gym last week with the intention of increasing my strength & weight workouts... I currently lift at home about 3 times a week, but I'm limited to 2x 4.5kg dumbells...

I've been to the gym twice this week first thing in the morning, and each time I have chickened out of doing any lifting because there are just big men in the weight section.

I'm not even sure what it is that scares me! I had a PT session and the trainer couldn't stop congratulating me on my ability & form! I know I'm able to do it, but I just can't!!

I'd love to know how have others managed to overcome the intimidation of being the only girl in the gym at 5.30am doing weights??

Thanks in advance!!
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Replies

  • drop_it_like_a_squat
    drop_it_like_a_squat Posts: 377 Member
    Hey there!

    Same here, there are other girls in the gym but they're just doing cardio mostly.

    You just have to do the first step and walk into that weight section LIKE YOU OWN IT haha. If you know you can do it it's even easier. You'll soon get used to it! Those huge men intimidated me at first, too, and now I know 80% of them and even work out with them sometimes. It's really not that bad, even if you think it is in the beginning.

    Take some great music with you on your MP3 player/phone and focus on your work out. You wont even recognize other people around you! :)
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    the best way to handle it is to just keep going. You won't be bothered about it at all when it becomes commen to you. There may not be many ladies in there but that means you are the one in the right place.
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    Use it as an advantage! Ask if one of them can spot you.
    Most of the women at the gym I attend are in the cardio zone too, but I just hit the man cave like I own it.
    I get ALOT of stares, mostly from people in disbelief of my WO routines.
    I just keep reminding myself of my goals.
  • sarahmoo12
    sarahmoo12 Posts: 756 Member
    the boys wont care they will be to busy with their own stuff! They might even be able to help you out some :)
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I use the weight room of my gym 3 times a week. 99% of the time, I'm the only girl there. I guess it's a little intimidating at first. But I just do my thing and keep to myself and don't worry about it. If anything, the men are overly eager to offer me the equipment I need. They stare, but they always have.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    I'm a beginner lifter too - you know what my mantra is? Fake it til you make it.

    Walk in there like you know exactly what you're going to do. I'm pretty sure you'll have a plan anyway, but head straight over to the barbell/dumbbell/machine that you want, look at yourself in the mirror, and just do it. Most of the men at my gym look only at themselves - they don't care what I'm doing. They might glance over at me twice because I'm a girl and I have a shirt on, but apart from that, they don't acknowledge me.

    I'm sure if I needed a spot, anyone would help me, as I would them. Focus on yourself and just get it done.

    ETA: If you're unsure, ask someone who is doing what you want to learn. Don't hurt yourself trying something new. Or Youtube it on your phone...
  • lwoodroff
    lwoodroff Posts: 1,431 Member
    yeah go into the testosterone zone with confidence, you pay for your membership, you have as much right to be there. AND you know what you are doing, your trainer said so (you'll soon spot examples of horrible form from some guys!).

    the more you do it, the more you'll enjoy it.

    just remember, nobody cares what you are doing as long as you are not interrupting their sets or hogging the equipment. they just want to get in, do their workout and get out - just like you. if they are looking at anyone, it's themselves in the mirror!
  • MissFuchsia
    MissFuchsia Posts: 523 Member
    I'm the new girl at my gym. I'm one of only 2 female members in my entire gym not just the weight room. I workout early mornings and she does evenings mostly so I'm always the only female :(

    I'm used to it now so it doesn't bother me. I get stared at sometimes. I have my ipod on and just focus on my workout. I know it's hard at first. I used to feel sick with worry before my workouts. It'll get easier over time. Good luck with your program
  • thecapillary
    thecapillary Posts: 7
    I'm in the same situation! Although I've gone several times a week over the last couple weeks I had to bring a friend along so I wouldn't feel so intimidated by the men working out initially. I still feel intimidated but I'm able to get over it and do my workout on my own now.
  • cogsblogs23
    cogsblogs23 Posts: 33
    The men in the weights section don't intimidate me, dolly birds all dolled up like they're going to a disco without an ounce of fat on them intimidate me. Women can be brutal whereas men tend to stick to themselves more and get into their own zone.

    I was very nervous about using the weights section at my gym until I had a personal trainer go through how to use them correctly. Since then I've been quietly going about my business, picking times which aren't peak times. I also do my weights daily (alternating between upper and lower body so I'm giving each body section a rest day but at the same time sticking to a routine where I can't psych myself out of it). I have found that a huge confidence booster, it's become part of my day and gaining confidence and a feeling of belonging too.
  • Ilovevwgolf
    Ilovevwgolf Posts: 564 Member
    Everyone go to the gym for a purpose - definitely not to intimidate newbies - I'm pretty sure of that. I bet they will be ever so helpful and will help you and give you tips if you befriend them. Try it.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    Embrace it!

    I used to avoid the weight section of the gym like the plague. The intimidation factor was definitely part of it.

    However, once you jump right in you'll make lifting friends, form a routine, in no time!
    If you don't know how to do something, just ask! A lot of my help came from other guys in the gym or trainers who kindly gave advice.
    Just do your research and get a basic understanding (to make you feel a little less intimidated), and walk into that weight room like you own it! Cause you do, girlfriend :)

    Also, in terms of the other comments (people staring, especially if you're one of the few females), it used to be a deterrent, but I realized hell would freeze over before I let anyone's reaction/creepiness get in the way between me and my fitness goals! I found that tuning it out is easy.. Just focus completely on that set of squat lifts and it won't matter!
  • jk262
    jk262 Posts: 1,597 Member
    Just do it. You'll be glad you did and chances are you'll get stares. That's ok. A friend and I lift together whenever we can, other times we go alone. Guys have commented that "we lift more than half the guys in the room!" Who cares why they're staring, if they're staring, I get those headphones on and boom, in the zone. I started a new lifting program where you do "cardio acceleration" inbetween sets so you're doing like step up on a bench, jogging in place, etc. If you want, that's a suggestion to try.. it definitely helps keep you focused and is so hard you won't have time to think about who else and especially what they're doing! haha ;) All the best to you, I think once you find the courage, you'll wonder why it was ever intimidating!
  • fenna3107
    fenna3107 Posts: 46
    Just go! I am not only the biggest girl with hefty thunder thighs, but most of the time the only girl. I just do my thing --FOCUS---feel that burn and zoom others out. Get in your zone. The guys are actually cool once they realize that you are there to mean business and not to flirt around. Yesterday one of them said to me: 'GREAT JOB" Keep going, my dear.
  • susiepet
    susiepet Posts: 68
    Oh I used to suffer from this! I went to a gym where it was all muscly men with tattoos and I though they were really scary. After about two weeks they started saying hello and I realised that the scariest of them all was actually really shy.....so not only were they OK and minding their own business, but (of course) it had all been in my head, not theirs.
    I used to avoid classes for much the same reasons (different people though). Nowadays I just get on and do my own thing....you can too

    S :smile:
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
    Put your earbuds in, don't look around and focus on your exercises. You belong there as much as they do, and I think you'll be surprised that they are not focusing on you, but on their workouts.

    I think all women are very intimidated at first in the "boys' room"...but don't let that stop you...your goals are more important! I felt that way too a year ago when I got back into lifting after a decade (and 60lbs) away...but now the guys tease me that I'm going to be spotting them soon. They admire my dedication and hard work.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    I remember being very intimidated going to that section. I knew it was where i needed to be but just couldnt get there. So , i hired a personal trainer for a few sessions and she took me straight out of my comfort zone and had me smack in the middle of it. I was so intent on learning what she was teaching i didnt have time to worry what others might think i looked like. Then i found that i enjoyed it. Made me feel more confident and empowered. So now i just put my headphones in and do what i have learned ( and some things i have watched others do) and pretend i am the only one in there. I also go at 5am and that helps since there are less people there at that time.

    More than likely they arent even looking at you at all. Just get in there and do it. Have fun!!!
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
    I feel really awkward when the squat and free weight area is full of super buff grunting dudes too. Tonight I actually had that kind of experience at my work gym so I ended up on machines most of the time. I would just go at odd hours until you get more confident with the workouts. I know a lot of people will say "no one cares, suck it up...etc" that doesnt work for me. I have too much anxiety to ignore it.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    I'm the exact same way! Except I'm brand new to weights. I want to do squats and deadlifts, and have read about them but never done them, and don't want to "butt in" with all the giant, sweaty guys back there grunting and stuff!!!

    I work nights, so I think I might have to start going in the middle of the night before work so the gym is empty.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Kinda relevant - if the men talked to you (in a non-leery, non-chat up way - ie just being friendly and encouraging) would it encourage you or make no difference?

    I see women in my gym using the machines and I just wonder. OTOH, if they continue using the machines, they won't use the free weights so they don't get in my way. :-D</selfish>
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Just do it.

    I am at the gym at 5:10am and head to the weights room where more often than not I am the only girl. I take my weight book, in which I have already written my plan for the day, and I fill out my sets and reps as I go. I have my iPod in my ears, towel, drink and just make my way around the weights. If the fellas are where I want to be, I'll change the order of my plan until there is a bench available or whatever.

    I really don't care what they think about me. I am there for ME. Occasionally there is a smile and a nod, but there is only one man who has tried to talk to me, and I just briefly answered him and kept my headphones in my ears. It's me time. I love it.

    And do I need to point out the obvious eye candy benefit??

    Just do it, those fellas are more interested in their own muscles than wondering what you are up to. Go and own some space!
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    I get to the gym at 0530 in the morning because?;

    a) I care what other people are doing

    b) I'm THAT serious about my training




    Also, someone has to be first.
  • charliehefferon
    charliehefferon Posts: 223 Member
    WOW!! Thanks everyone for your replies... I think it's going to have to be a case of just try it! Head held high - I own it!! Haha!!

    I have another PT session booked in for Tuesday, so I'm going to make my trainer show me the ropes of the weight section!!


    Kinda relevant - if the men talked to you (in a non-leery, non-chat up way - ie just being friendly and encouraging) would it encourage you or make no difference?

    It would certainly encourage me more if the men were like that! However, I'm not sure it's going to happen! My gym is in a part of town which is highly populated by Eastern Europeans (and they are the regulars!!) So i think the language barrier would stop a lot of chit chat...!
  • mountaingirl2207
    mountaingirl2207 Posts: 181
    I was scared to death to go into the testosterone zone, but wanted to start lifting heavy. I started NROLFW and now its been 3 weeks and I'm doing fine. The guys either don't care or look at me like they're impressed. Just do what you need to do and you'll do great!
  • Elegra2006
    Elegra2006 Posts: 144 Member
    To echo what others have said, some things I do are:

    Ear buds in, music up loud
    Know which exercise you're going to do first

    If you can/are allowed:

    I sometimes take the weights out of the busy weights area and across to a free mat area and do the exercises there, sometimes using a Swiss ball instead of a bench for added core work etc. I quite like having my own wee zone. Not sure if your gym allows you to move the weights though.

    I actually find it more distracting/off-putting seeing guys 'lifting' weights but using really bad form, excess huffing and puffing, rather than the fact that they might happen to glance at you every now and again.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I wouldn't be worried about it. My gym is pretty lifting focused and quite often I'm the only one in the weight room without a 'Y' chromosome. And those big scary lifting dudes have been some of the nicest, most well informed and helpful people I've met.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Kinda relevant - if the men talked to you (in a non-leery, non-chat up way - ie just being friendly and encouraging) would it encourage you or make no difference?

    It would certainly encourage me more if the men were like that! However, I'm not sure it's going to happen! My gym is in a part of town which is highly populated by Eastern Europeans (and they are the regulars!!) So i think the language barrier would stop a lot of chit chat...!

    Admit it, you're just thinking of Oleg from Two Broke Girls.
  • tattygun
    tattygun Posts: 447 Member
    In my gym girls who venture into the weights area get a hell of a lot of respect!
  • jennfranklin
    jennfranklin Posts: 434 Member
    At first I was a little intimidated, but then I realized that I had to do it if I wanted to get the results that I desire. I finally realized that they are in there for the same reason as I am, and they really don't pay close attention. So here I am, a short, 5'1" lady grunting and sweating right along with them. Believe me, YES I have gotten sideways glances, and stares, and grins, even the occasional guy ask me if he can "work in". It takes a lot of guts to be among all of those hot sweaty, beefy men! :blushing: But hey, I enjoy heavy lifting as much as any other. So why not take advantage of what your gym has to offer. I love my new muscles!
  • charliehefferon
    charliehefferon Posts: 223 Member

    Admit it, you're just thinking of Oleg from Two Broke Girls.

    Oleg is my hero!! :laugh: :laugh:

    I was scared to death to go into the testosterone zone, but wanted to start lifting heavy. I started NROLFW and now its been 3 weeks and I'm doing fine. The guys either don't care or look at me like they're impressed. Just do what you need to do and you'll do great!

    I've got NROLFW at home, never got round to reading (or starting) it!! WOuld you suggest this to be a good way to start weights in a gym??
    At first I was a little intimidated, but then I realized that I had to do it if I wanted to get the results that I desire. I finally realized that they are in there for the same reason as I am, and they really don't pay close attention. So here I am, a short, 5'1" lady grunting and sweating right along with them. Believe me, YES I have gotten sideways glances, and stares, and grins, even the occasional guy ask me if he can "work in". It takes a lot of guts to be among all of those hot sweaty, beefy men! :blushing: But hey, I enjoy heavy lifting as much as any other. So why not take advantage of what your gym has to offer. I love my new muscles!

    I'm glad I'm not the only shortie wanting to build muscle!! I'm 5'1" also, so I think this doesn't really help with my confidence!! BUT!!! Everyones positive responses are helping in a BIG way!!



    Thank you all again :smile: :smile: :smile:

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