WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY
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Clarification: The full title of the Judith Beck book is -
The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person.
I hope this is helpful.0 -
Just want to thank all of you for your kind and supportive posts and messages.
I, like so many others, am grateful for a place like this where I find friendship and support.
It has been quite awhile since I have battled all these thoughts from the past. I have struggled with severe depression since I was 14. In the last 10 years it has been much better, I know, for me, it has been since I have learned the difference between being religious and pursuing a personal relationship with Jesus. I need to refous my thoughts away from past and on where I am today.
I was wondering if any others have found things from your past coming up as you work on getting healthy and losing weight? It is so weird to find all of these emotions flooding in. Things I have not thought about in years.
If you wonder why I took my picture off it is for 2 reasons. 1..As I share, it is easier for me, if I do not have to worry about someone knowing me. 2. It is very difficult for me to have to look at pictures of myself.
SusieQ, I am so sorry about your son. As a mother, I cannot think of many things harder than having a child not want to have contact with you I have never understood how people can just stop bothering with you. This was my mother's favorite way to punish me for not doing what she wanted. She would just stop talking to me for months. I would call or go over and beg her to talk to me and she would either hang up or walk away as if I was invisible. I do not know what I would do if my child ignored me, but I know I decided I would never again beg someone to speak to me. Funny, my mother has been dead for ll years and still as I write thins I find myself sitting here and crying.
I am going to try and go for a bike ride today. If my DH can watch the kids, I will go off a ride. I need to force myself to do something to get out of this hole.
This period will end, I know that now. Thanks for giving me a place to write. It helps me to put it down in writing to see that this is not a hopelss place where I cannot get out of. I will say over and over "This too will pass". I have a husband, 2 daughters, 4 grandchildren and almost 2 SIL who love me.
lla0 -
Good Morning,
I just got this message from Kathy (plantlady) and she wanted me to share it with you. Kathy was my inspiration when I started MFP and she has been absent a lot caring for her parents
:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
My mom is in the hospital now. Her toe that is a victim of diabetes has gotten grave. Not sure if I told you, but the doctors decided not to amputate, because she is such a frail women. Now the infection has gone into her blood stream, and she has a UTI and she is extremely delirious. We have two options. To amputate her leg, which I just know her quality of life at 85, would be not what she would want plus she might not make if off the table. Or Hospice, the doctors want the family to get together Monday to decided. I thing we are all leaning to Hospice. It is extremely sad. I went up to say good night to her and she just wanted out. I just hated to see her like that. At first she was calm we held had, talked and she rubbing my arm. I just love her so. Then when I had to say good bye. She just want me to take her home. I tried to settle her down but it took a while but he finally did.
The Doctors were going to give her something to calm her down. Thank God.
My Dad seems to be doing very will after his strokes. He has a little short term memory but certainly can care for himself. I have to make sure his pills are taken and the house is squared away and meals are there for him but he does very well.
I'll read the posts later
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Prayers for Kathy and her family. Prayers for peace for her Mother. Letting your Mother go is so difficult. I know mine is with me every day in my heart. The blessings she gave me during her life continue to multiply in mine. Alice 0
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Hi,
I found this site today so thought I would join this thread as well.
I read many of the posts and you all sound very nice and motivating so I am excited to join you.
I am starting a 12 week program today. Of course this is a life style change too, but the next 12 weeks are my focus at this point.
I have an exercise program I have started a few times and never finished so my goal is to finish it this time.
I look forward to getting to know you all as time goes on.
Nancy0 -
Kathy (plantlady), I have tears in my eyes thinking of you and your mom. You are in my prayers.0
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Greetings all and welcome Nancy.
Kathy (plantlady) so sorry to hear about your Mother!
Susan - so glad to hear your son called you!
Hope everyone has a great day!!0 -
I can relate to the picture and not showing it. I personally do not take good pictures. It's funny but I can look in the mirror after putting on my makeup and doing my hair and think I look really nice or pretty. Then if someone snaps a picture of me later I look tired and worn out.
So I don't take very many pictures.
I went on a blind date a few weeks back and we had only seen each others pictures and the one I used actuall,y for the first time looked halfway decent. But later after the meeting (which went well) he told me I had dreamy eyes. :noway: I don't see it. I went to the mirror and tried to see what he saw. Couldn't find it. I don't get it. Is it self perceived perception that we are dealing with? I have questioned him about it and he still argues that I have beautiful eyes. So I think it must be our perception of ourselves.
Still on this site, like you, because I share detalils of myself and am afraid to "be found out who I am" I don;t have a picture.. But at the same time I don't like the blue person they provide for us if we don't have a picture. So I substitute something that represents me so that I don't feel like a nothing. I collect frogs. Very pretty frogs. Glass frogs, jeweled frogs, procelain frogs, bronze frogs you name it. But they are beautiful. So I looked for a picture of a unusual frog (kind of like what I collect) and use that to represent myself. This way I don't look like I am in a line up with their blue person and I feel good because I see my frog!!
Maybe you can put something to represent yourself, that makes you feel good too at the same time!
There is something about that blue person that gets me down. Even on my emails I have a avatar represent me. I dress her, change her hair to what I feel like that day. Change her eye colr, even the background. Yesteday I was climbing a volcano in Costa Rica. I looked pretty spiffy if I do say so myself!
Just an idea for you so that it will give you something to look at when you type or send posts that will make you, be you, even without a picture and still feel good.:bigsmile:
Chiclet:flowerforyou:
Oh and mimi just wanted to say to you too, that your picture of yourself is so pretty. You look so fresh and young!0 -
Praying for Kathy. My younger sister loved my mother so and it was so hard on her when my mother died. It seems like a huge piece of you is missing when your mother dies. It is hard to have to make that decision. When my mother was in hospital and a decision had to be made the doctors took me aside because the rest of my family was in such distress and could not make a rational decision. They will never know that I had to make the decision to let my mother go. How ironic that I was the one. I just knew she was in so much pain and would not want to suffer. Why would anyone leave someone they love on life support after you know they are gone. Still, it would be nice if we did not have to make the decision.
I am forcing myself on my bike today. DD#2 is going with me.
Hope all of you are having a Sunday that is filled with joy and laughter.
linda0 -
Barb/weaklink - if you don't think you'd have done OK at the M&M plant, guess you couldn't have worked at the Dove plant either. Vince says that all over the office there are these freezers and you can just take a Dove bar out and eat it. That would definitely have been my downfall. On the other hand....maybe it would have been good for me. Sometimes when you have so much of something, you don't want it at all. Like when Vince and I met (back in the olden days) we worked at a fast food place. Ever since then, I haven't had any desire for fast food. As a matter of fact, it took me a few years after stopping work there before I'd even eat at any fast food place.
Did an hour of yoga today (Sat). Tomorrow I think I'll do the hula hoop on the WiiFit. Haven't done that in a while.
SuzyQ - you have my prayers. I know how very hard it is. I remember when Jessica was between 16 and 18, boy did we have a time. I swear there were times when I would lock myself in the bathroom and read "Get Out Of My Life But First Would You Drive Me and Cheryl to The Mall". If I didn't lock myself in the bathroom, I swear I would have killed her. But there was one line in the book that really helped me, they said "the more they (the kids) pull away, the harder they come back". And it's so very true! Today Jessica is my kid who calls just about every day to check up on the cats (and us)
Today (Sun) I did 1 hr on the WiiFit hula hoop. Boy, was I sweating! I must be out of shape or something, but I could not go the entire 10 minutes. My high scores were a little over 3,000, the first time I did it today I only got a score of something like 48. I'm going to have to continue to do it. One bad thing is that when I am working out real hard at home, I tend to work out in my underpants and sports bra. I try to do it early in the a.m. because I don't think Bryan would be too enthralled to come out of his room and see his mother in her underwear exercising.....lol So I usually have a piece of fruit, then exercise, then come upstairs and have the rest of my breakfast. Maybe I was sweating so much because it's summertime Another good thing about exercising at home is that right after I exercise, I can take a shower. Oh, I can take a shower at the Y, but I'm always so unsure of the cleanliness of the floor, etc. that I take shoes to wear in the shower with me. It's just easier at home, I don't have to take all the "junk" with me like a towel, clothes, shoes etc. If I forget something, I can easily get it at home. One time I forgot shoes to wear in the shower and I wasn't about to go barefoot so I showered in my socks!
Talked to dd#3 the other day. She said the reason she didn't take the job at Outback was because she'd have to drive further and her car has lots of miles already on it. My feeling is that SFB talked her into not taking it. See, right now she can work a double shift and between shifts she can come home. If he's there, he can see her. But if she was working at Outback, she couldn't come home. At Outback she'd make more in tips, but he's a selfish person, and what's good for SFB is what should happen.
The WiiFit says I lost 2 lbs from yesterday, so just to see what the scale says, it says that I'm the same weight as yesterday. Oh well...
mimi - I must tell you what a great inspiration you have been to get me eating more veges. Thank you.
Jackie - so glad to hear about your father.
Oh, SuzyQ - how absolutely fantasticlly wonderful that your son called you!!! Isn't it just so frustrating how men can eat and eat, and they lose weight like crazy!
BC1 - I firmly believe that sleep affects weight loss. Whenever I get a good amount of sleep, I can almost always be assured of a weight loss the next day.
barbie - tell Kathy (plantlady) that she's in my thoughts and prayers. What a hard decision, but many times quality is so much more improtant than quantity.
A big welcome to Nancy. You won't find better women on the net
I'm going to post this now. Our Internet has been acting "funky" today. Earlier today it was down because our router could not get a send signal. Don't know how long I'll have it. Who knows? Maybe it's been fixed.
Michele0 -
Welcome Nancy and anyone else new that I might have missed.
Prayers and hugs to all who need them.
I spent the day making my family get their chores done. It wasn't that bad, but I am tired from all the encouraging. lol
SuzyQ- As a DIL with a hard to visit MIL I can say I think I understand how hard everything is when people are different from each other, but still family. I am so glad your son called you. My brother doesn't call my mom and my husband doesn't call his mom either. I don't know why and I often mention to my hubby to call his mom around the holidays. When I prompt, he calls.
My advice is something that works for me and a friend of mine with hard to visit family. We can't visit my MIL because it is too hard on my son. I can deal with a lot of what she does, but she treats the biological grandchildren different than the adopted ones and my son's feelings get hurt and he use to cry a lot about it.
My advice is to meet your son and DIL somewhere neutral for a mini vacation together. You can do things together during the day, but the hotel setting gives each party enough time to themselves. With no territory to protect or defend your DIL might be less nervous about what you are going to think of their house and how it is kept. It also takes the pressure off of the meals and how people cook. We do this with my MIL. Instead of going to see her, we bring her on vacation with us. It works out much better. Then we can control that our children are treated equally and I don't have to pretend to like what she cooks or how she makes it.
Hang in there,
Jeannie0 -
Went for a bike ride with DD#2. She was afraid to go with me because I can ride so much longer than she can hahah. We went 13 miles so it was a nice ride. Just fun to be together. 4 weeks from today she will be on her way to Maine for her honeymoon. I am so glad I had girls. I think it is easier to be MIL to boys. It just seems to me from what I have observed that MIL are in more competion with other women. I think in all my years that maybe I knew 2 women who truly loved their MIL.
I know that I have 1 SIL and we have never had an aruguement in 12 years. But, I am not the type of person who interferes, I am just here for support and to help when I can. It does seem though that DD#2 is going to have a nice MIL. I hope so. Melissa is so nice and easily hurt.
Well, weekend over and another week to begin. I am hoping to have more time to bike this week.
linda0 -
Barbiecat1-Have you considered melatonin. It is available over the counter and a natural substance that really makes a difference. I have used it in the past, and you don't get that "hangover" feeling that can result from taking a typical OTC sleep aid.
Suzzeque-So glad your son called. That must have made your day!!!
Faye--Sorry your phone ate your post. :noway: Reminds me of the kid at school -"My dog ate my homework!":laugh:
Linda--I understand why you changed your avatar. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable. When you feel like it, you could always download another image, other than a photo of yourself, but that is your choice. I am glad you have people in your life who care about you---not to mention a boatload of people on this thread!! Hang in there. :flowerforyou: I think you have the right attitude.
Barbiecat-Thank you for the update from Kathy(plantlady)--please tell her she is in my prayers also, if you have any contact with her.
Michelle--You may already know this, but anytime your router is having trouble getting a signal, one of the easiest solutions is to pull the power plug on your modem, watch for it to sync up and show all the lights that come up when it syncs, and then pull the plug (or hit the reset button if there is one) on your router. Once it comes up and shows a connection to the modem, then you can release and renew your IP on your pc, by running "repair" option on your network connection, do the easy way and just do a restart on the pc, as the last step. This will often correct such a problem. The exception is if there is something actually not working correctly with your ISP's service, :ohwell: but doing what I said will not make things any worse.:flowerforyou:
Well, you may recall in my last post I said it was 3 am and I was suffering from a caffeine-induced insomnia and was going to bed. Well, I never did. Was up all night, just took a catnap in my chair about 7a after my bath. Then I took the doggies out and went to meet a friend for breakfast. Came home about noon and took a nap for about 3 hours. Feel surprisingly good. Just hope I can get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. No, this evening I am NOT having any caffeinated coffee!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Doggies are getting restless so that means its time for a walk for them, and I have to think about dinner for me.
Barb0 -
Hello everyone, just a pop in, been busy cleaning the basement out of stuff I've no longer used and that has sat around for a few months and not been touched. Wow two days straight and still some things to do. I was having fun!
Changed up the gym area, to make more room with the floor exercises, seems the new routine is giving me more of that. So now things I need are not across the room, but close by the foor area. That makes doing the exercises easier, no running around and then feeling too tired to go get the equipment. No excuses!
Hope everyone has a good week, I'll be around.0 -
Michelle--You may already know this, but anytime your router is having trouble getting a signal, one of the easiest solutions is to pull the power plug on your modem, watch for it to sync up and show all the lights that come up when it syncs, and then pull the plug (or hit the reset button if there is one) on your router. Once it comes up and shows a connection to the modem, then you can release and renew your IP on your pc, by running "repair" option on your network connection, do the easy way and just do a restart on the pc, as the last step. This will often correct such a problem. The exception is if there is something actually not working correctly with your ISP's service, :ohwell: but doing what I said will not make things any worse.:flowerforyou:
Thanks very much. I'm sure Vince did everything he could think of. Thing were so very screwed up that he thought he remembered some certain number, but the router was so screwed up that it didn't even recognize that number. However, when the Internet came back up, it was the right number(the IP number). Vince was in IT for all the years he worked for Mars. He's my computer geek. Me? I know how to turn the computer on and off. If there's a problem, I usually yell "Vince". Many times I do have to disconnect the box for the wireless and then reconnect it. That I know how to do.
Michele0 -
Welcome, Nancy! You have found a great, supportive group of women. I wish you great luck on this journey!
Kathy: Thinking of you at this tough time.
SuzyQ: So glad that your son called. You have prompted some great discussions...seems we all have some connection to your problem. I only have 2 sons, so have always worried a bit about the fact that sons tend to be less connected to their own families once they marry. My DH is only son and I always had to remind him to call, write, visit, etc. his parents. Don't know why that is, BUT I think a few others have hit on some valid points. I know that when oldest son was serious about his now wife and we were inviting him to bring her to visit, after many such invitations, he blurting out that she was a bit intimidated by me! I couldn't have been more shocked as I always felt I was very down to earth and non-judgemental. He then reeled off a list of things that then girlfriend felt intimidated by. As I mentioned before, we are now very close, but that didn't happen over night and I can now say that we are close and that I probably talk to her more often than son because of his work hours. I think it all comes down to the differences in the way she was raised ...and I adore her parents. We are just different. So, hang in there and I hope that you find some common ground. I remember that I was a bit intimidated by my MIL the first time that I met her and we became very close after a time. She kept telling me how glad she was that I loved her son. I took my MIL's lead...The best thing is to let the DIL know that you support her and are just so happy that she loves your son. I tell mine that every chance I get and it has payed off.
Speaking of DIL...the new photo is one that DIL sent me today from our Bahamas' trip in May. It was a fun trip and the last time we have seen them. We leave this Saturday for chicago to visit them and youngest son before heading to MT for several weeks. Looking so forward to that! :bigsmile:
This has not been a good calorie day for me. DH is under-the-weather with his disc/neck thing and it is the first day in many that I got NO exercise. His birthday was yesterday and I had a key lime pie for his "birthday cake"...guess who had most of it so far? NOT GOOD:noway: :noway: Have to get back on track here...
Here's to a healthy, happy week ladies. Thinking of you all, kackie 0 -
Hi all,
prayers out to plantlady.
It has been a rough day. It started out when Bodi knocked DH off his feet on the stairs. No real injury, just soreness. Then we took him to the dog park to get out some of his puppy exuberance and on the way out of the park he knocked DH down hard on some rocky gravel. DH is very sore in his shoulder and has a very bruised hand from trying to break his fall. He is cat napping and moaning in his sleep. I wish I could make it all better.
On the MIL front, I have had 3 of them and they all hated me. My current MIL barely acknowledges my existance. She didn't attend our wedding and she only sends holiday cards to DH and doesn't include me in any of them. My first MIL wrote my youngest a letter telling her what a horrible woman I was and that I was worthless (this was when my youngest wanted to come live with me) My second MIL was the best but she had 12 children and didn't think I was worthy of her son. She passed away 3 years into our relationship so I didn't have much contact with her. My mom was always a great MIL. I always wished that my MIL's treated me the way my mom treated her SIL's but that was not meant to be.
I hope you all had a great weekend and here's to a good week with lots of water, exercise and meeting goals.0 -
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: just a quick post to say that believe it or not, I actually avoided walking and all exercise today and put ice on my knee five times for 20 minutes......it took huge self restraint to stay seated and not go work in the yard in the beautiful sunshine and not get on the exercise bike and not give in to the pleading dogs who wanted to go to the dog park, but my knee feels so much better......I will do the same tomorrow......my step counter recorded barely 2000 steps----a new record low :laugh:0
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This has been a funny old day. :noway:
I got a slow start and postponed exercising because it was too hot by the time I got up and going. "Later" never came as I met a friend for an early dinner then hung out at her house. Even with choosing reasonably wisely at dinner, I still went way over on calories.
The lesson learned? Exercise early.
I felt good about my dinner choices, although I probably could have been better. If I had exercised a do-able amount, I could still have met my calorie target. It's just one day and I'm not beating myself up about it. Onward and upward tomorrow. :drinker:
Kackie, I love your new picture. It looks like the three of you are having a good time. You had good advice for SuzyQ. I was wishing I'd been more positive. That's always best.
My son, who I've been telling you got engaged a few weeks ago, took his boys, his fiancee's son and girlfriend. and his fiancee to Tahoe for the weekend. He and his fiancee got MARRIED! :noway: Urgh. I'm happy in theory, but I'm disappointed not to have been there. It's a second marriage for both of them. Mark said they didn't want all the stress and will renew their vows during a traditional ceremony and have a reception down here.
When they renew their vows, his wife (yikes, that sounds weird) will wear a wedding dress, my granddaughters will be the flower girls (which they've been dying to be), etc. I'll feel better when that happens. Right now, they're planning to do it on the date they originally set to get married: June 4. I told Mark and I'm hoping (a lot) that they'll do it a whole lot sooner instead. (Say 2 weeks!)
I'm feeling discombobulated. :ohwell:0 -
I just started a week ago. I'm 53 and lost 70 pounds a couple of years ago. I put 60 of it back on, so here I am. At least I already know what works - reducing my caloric intake. Last go round, I was on 800 per day. I've upped that to 900 to 1000. So far, 13 pounds are gone in the first week. I'm a night pharmacist and sleep during the day. My schedule is 7 days on and 7 days off. When it is my week off, I'm hoping to get some exercise in (if I'm not too busy catching up on sleep).0
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