REALLY need some pick-me-up & motivation.

suzieqsmart
suzieqsmart Posts: 47
in Introduce Yourself
I'm having a really rough day today. My co-worker is riding my last nerve like a bucking bronco, my boss has disappointed me to the point of nearly being in tears, I'm seriously contemplating finding a new job and next Tuesday is my 5 year anniversary at this work place. I feel trapped and I don't know what to do. Right now, while I sit here, I feel sick to my stomach and I fear that when I get home, I'm going to dive into a bucket of ice cream. I need help...please, friends. I'm at a breaking point.

I love my life. My job pays well. I have a wonderful, loving husband and a beautiful little girl. I came back from maternity leave last July and the past year I've just felt like I'm constantly dragging myself out of quick sand. I feel like, no matter how hard I try, I'm getting nowhere. I've considered job hunting a few times, but I'm afraid that I will jeopardize my current job by doing so, and end up with a job that doesn't provide for my family to the same level as this one. Trapped..that's how I feel.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for from any of you. I think I just want someone to help me get the heck up, dust off my knees and make me realize that things aren't as heavy as my heart feels right now.

Thank you all for listening.

Replies

  • getstrongkaylen
    getstrongkaylen Posts: 137 Member
    First off, take a deep breath and relax... Secondly, making healthy changes for yourself might not just mean changing your diet and exercise routines... It may also mean changing your environments in order to make a healthier your, mind, body and soul... A good paying job shouldn't be the only reason you continue doing something that you really don't like... But, that's just my thoughts... And maybe, when you feel trapped, you just have to do what you did in the second paragraph... Remember the people who mean the most to you in your life.. your daughter and your husband... Keep your head up! In the end, you'll be exactly where you're suppose to be!!(:
  • billsgirl95
    billsgirl95 Posts: 3
    Dear SuzieQ,
    I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time! It's so hard when you feel trapped by circumstances. It sounds like you really know what you want to do, but it is scary making the first move. I have faith that God will send the right job your way to make you more content and keep your family safe!

    Instead of jumping into a unhealthy snack, grab some celery or a carrot, put the baby in the stroller and take a good long walk that will give you time to think calmly without any other adults distracting you. Do the pros and cons and then talk with your husband. You'll find the answer!
  • ElaineRN100
    ElaineRN100 Posts: 201 Member
    Dear SuzieQ,
    I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time! It's so hard when you feel trapped by circumstances. It sounds like you really know what you want to do, but it is scary making the first move. I have faith that God will send the right job your way to make you more content and keep your family safe!

    Instead of jumping into a unhealthy snack, grab some celery or a carrot, put the baby in the stroller and take a good long walk that will give you time to think calmly without any other adults distracting you. Do the pros and cons and then talk with your husband. You'll find the answer!
    [/quote

    I totally agree with above. Don't make any decisions without first clearing your mind. You may not believe it but stress can have long term effects on you. Ask to speak - in a professional manner - with your supervisor/boss. Clear the air with them - if possible. Praying that things work out for you.
  • wardamn3agle
    wardamn3agle Posts: 80
    Just remember, there is people in way worst conditions then you are in. Atleast you have a job, and money. Im not trying to be mean, but everytime I feel like complaining about "first world problems" I think back to the time I really had nothing. I think about people who never had anything. Overseas, I'd love to have a "real" shower, decent toliet paper, and some me time. So, in short - again- just be thankful of the things you do have.
  • suzieqsmart
    suzieqsmart Posts: 47
    Thank you all. I know it seem like a no-brainer for people to tell me what I already know. But sometimes, it's harder to believe yourself and easier to hear things from other people. And you're right. I'm lucky to have a job that provides for my family and I'm very lucky to have such an amazing family. I'm also lucky to have a support group of people to give me a kick in the pants now and then.

    It's Friday, the weekend is here and I've got 2 days to pull my head out of work. I am going to go home tonight and take my baby girl for a nice long walk. My husband will come along and talk things through with me.

    @ getskinnykayl - yes, it's true what you say about my heart telling me what to do with work. But the fact is, I really do like my job. I just get dragged down by the people around me who seem to go out of their way to hinder things. I guess I just care about our clients and it really gets to me when I am forced to work with someone who only cares about themselves and wastes half of their working day playing games. Therein lies my biggest frustration. Secondly, my main reason for wanting to "stick it out" is that my husband and I have recently purchased a piece of land and hope to be moving to our "forever home" within the next 2 years. I'm trying to stay focused on the future and not jump back to the bottom of the ladder where it could prevent our future plans from happening during our targeted time frame.

    All of that said, I send a huge thank you to those of you who took the time to share your motivation with me. I really do appreciate it. You've restored my focus and given me the motivation I needed to get through this day. You guys rock!
  • DizzyTyke
    DizzyTyke Posts: 3
    Have a good moan and get it out of your system.
  • AvaReneMari
    AvaReneMari Posts: 32 Member
    You are not alone.....and I feel most of us joined MFP for emotional support and strengthen. One advice I can give, because I use it for myself. Cry! Cry your heart out, who cares if someone is watching.......but if you do, cry in the bathroom and wash your face off and say a prayer.You will feel stronger.And once you feel better start back in the gym......the feeling you described doesn't last more than 3 days. Go to the gym,play with your daugther. Listen to music. Eat your favorite fatty food,but a small portion stay in your calorie bracket. Keep thinking you not alone and someone is in a worst predicament than you. Just one question, are you a R.N...........To me sound like you a R.N.......Stress level in the working environment is extremely high.
  • suzieqsmart
    suzieqsmart Posts: 47
    No, I'm not an R.N. I actually work in finance and investments. That's why it frustrates me when I feel the people around me don't care about our clients. You have to care about the people you're supposed to be helping and keep their best interests in mind, even if it means you have to do a whack of paperwork!! Too bad!! That's our job!! *sigh*

    But you're right, I could probably use a good cry too. And I'm sure it would feel better than trying to hold it all in.

    Thank you!
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    You are definitely not alone!

    First of all, you are beautiful! As if your daughter :flowerforyou:
    Now...this may sound a little silly, but one thing that really helped me when I wanted to throw in the towel is I would do this little exercise. I'd take a couple deep breaths, and talk to myself (not always out loud..wouldn't want my co-workers to think they're with a crazy :laugh: ) Basically I'd self affirm..and remind myself that I was beautiful, strong, and able to overcome anything I put my mind to. If I was frustrated with my weight loss, I'd picture myself at the weight I wanted to be and remind myself that it would happen. If it was a job or school related task, I'd picture the finished product.

    Seems futile, but it really is mind over matter.
  • AvaReneMari
    AvaReneMari Posts: 32 Member
    You're welcome........
  • AvaReneMari
    AvaReneMari Posts: 32 Member
    You're welcome
  • AvaReneMari
    AvaReneMari Posts: 32 Member
    Be assertive not passive. Stand up for yourself in calm and professional manner. Do for a while. Let them know (coworkers) whats up!
  • suzieqsmart
    suzieqsmart Posts: 47
    Thank you so much gsarah1. What a beautiful thing to say. I'm going to give it a try. :blushing:
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    I love people that play games. I play back and I am relentless. But, YMMV. I don't think it's wrong to be confrontational. However, it sort of has to be in your own style or way. It usually needs to be done though if you don't confront the problems they will not go away and it will be a daily battle. OTOH, you don't want to be the one that is causing everyone to stress out and you don't want to be the one that is labeled a fire cracker. It's entertaining from an outside perspective, but in real life not so much.

    I would start with telling the boss how I feel. Using I statements even though what you really mean is I hate it when you break your promises or whatever. You can say something like "I was under the impression that X was going to get done by Wed. and today is Friday and X is still not done and I feel frustrated by this". It confronts the problem without being overly aggressive and accusatory. That doesn't mean it will be taken well, but it's not inflammatory, but again what you say will have to be in your own style. You can't ignore the problems though that kind of style will just leave you wanting to dig into a bucket of ice cream every day you go to work.

    And finally the feeling of wanting comfort food isn't a wrong feeling. You can find comfort foods that fit into your macros. What I have instead of a heaping bowl of ice cream is a heaping bowl of strawberries with a little ice cream and a bit of whipped cream. It really is comforting and it might at times boost my calorie count a wee high, but it won't boost it to an unmanageable level of say like 800 calories too high.
  • AvaReneMari
    AvaReneMari Posts: 32 Member
    Before I started MFP I weighed 215 I'm now 190. But when I'm depress or mad I can't workout. I don't care what anyone says......oh go to the gym it's a stress reliever.... I look at them like ???????? ..ooooooh! No it's not!.....with me I'm a problem solver.if it ain't solve....I can't move. So what I do. I so solve the root of the issue. Now I'm happy....I can jump and roll. And burn all the calories. But also keep in mind this is the real world.making a difference is very very stressful. Some of us give up and roll with the flow of the game or business.i never said you can't make a difference at your job.......but do take recognition that its gonna be truly tough and take responsibly of your mental responses. Anyhow.....just know I'm here to talk to also.

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