Encouragement needed

babinaba
babinaba Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
Hi there,

I haven't posted on here before and I guess I just need to get things off my chest and write everything down cause I'm feeling quite low at the moment.

I've been trying to lose weight for a holiday I'm going on 2nd week in June and I just feel like I'm getting no-where. My calorie intake is set at 1600 (above my BMR but lower than my maintaining weight calories), I've lost 6lbs since starting MFP properly (I had started it before but things cropped up and I didn't always record my meals - I've been good and recorded everything this time around). I've been trying to better my diet, cut out most bread (definitely not eating any white bread/pasta at all), eating more protein - chicken, eggs, more salad, stir fry's (with fry light), veggies and fruit - have really upped my fruit intake than before. I will occasionally have a sweet treat but it'll be like 2 squares of chocolate instead of a whole bar and save the rest for another day type thing. I've also dramatically increased my water intake than what I drank before. I've cut out most fizzy drinks - I'll have a cola maybe about once a month, the only drinks I have now are water or milk with my cereal (Special K), I don't drink tea or coffee at all.

Anyways, even though I've lost these 6lbs, I feel awful, I actually hate myself and hate the way I look. I got my boyfriend to take a pic of me in a bikini last night as I want to try and record any progress and it's just disgusting. I don't feel any better in my clothes having lost these 6lbs and I get so frustrated trying on clothes now - my top half is 2 dress sizes bigger than my bottom have because of my large boobs (and probably crappy back fat), all I want is to wear a nice dress :(

This is the largest and heaviest I've ever been in my life, I don't see any difference in the measuring tapes when doing my hips, waist, thighs. I know everyone is different and there is no point in me asking how long it'll be before I see any changes. I don't want to give up, there's no point because I'll just be more depressed than I already am at the moment if I put the weight I've lost back on, but I'm sitting here typing this, crying my eyes out because I hate myself so much. It's getting to the point that I don't want to go on holiday, I don't want my picture taken at all - I just feel a mess. I actually punched myself in the fat bits earlier a few times because I'm so frustrated.

I don't know what advice I'm after, I just had to write. I don't know whether to drop back down to 1200 calories a day (I was originally doing that but only for a week and a half as I read as it's below my BMR calories that it'll put my body back into starvation mode), I don't know what to do.

Exercise wise, I work out about 4 times a week - a mixture of squash, circuit training, interval training and dancing.

If anyone's gone through anything similar, I'd appreciate your story.

Thanks for reading and sorry it's so sad :'(

Replies

  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
    Sweetie, take a deep, deep breath. From your picture, you are beautiful and I suspect your boyfriend thinks that as well.

    From your ticker, it looks like you don't have all that much to lose - 16 pounds isn't a lot to lose, even though it is still just as difficult as if you had 100! That's not why I made the comment about not much to lose. When you have less to lose, it often comes off MUCH more slowly.

    Can I ask how long have you been tracking seriously? You should be striving to lose between .5 and 2 pounds per week for safe, healthy and SUSTAINABLE weight loss. If your average is in that range, you are doing absolutely fine. When you lose more than that, you are also losing muscle in addition to fat and that's not what you want to happen! You might be skinny, but who wants to be skinny with no muscle tone?

    Don't do anything to lose weight that you aren't willing to do for the rest of your life. I say this because if you do something to lose weight that you aren't willing to maintain, as soon as you go back to your normal eating habits, the weight will just come right back on. So, be patient and be KIND to yourself. Keep your caloric intake at the recommended level (don't drop to 1200 calories) and TRY to be happy with any weight loss you get. Instead of focusing on the scale, focus on feeling better about yourself and creating good habits. Focus on eating healthier and exercising and when you see how well you are doing in those things you'll start to feel better about yourself. The added bonus is when you focus on just being healthier, the scale tends to follow suit.

    Good luck and please, please, please be a little more patient and kind to yourself!
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    thank you very much for your reply, it's kind of you to take the time.

    My ticker is was really what my holiday target was, the total weight I'd like to lost is probably another 10-12lbs on top of the 16lbs still to lose, but I thought I'd at least be happy with reaching that goal before holidays - I guess that's the thing that's getting me down is that I know now I won't reach that before I go. My weight loss is round about 0.5 - 1lb a week (there have been quite a few weeks that I don't lose anything), I've been logging my food seriously since February, sometimes I forget to log my exercise, but I don't eat back my calories, I've included my exercises when calculating my weight loss calories.

    Thanks for the advice about not dropping back down to 1200, you're right, it's not something that I could maintain and I want it to be a lifestyle change. I do like the exercising, I do feel better, it's just the reflection in the mirror that I hate.

    And you're right, my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful all the time, but I don't believe him, I think that it's just something that he "has" to say because he's my boyfriend. I will try to listen more and take on board what he and you have said. thank you. x
  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
    Anytime, Sweetie!

    Your boyfriend doesn't have to tell you anything. The fact that he *is* telling you that you are beautiful, means that he truly thinks that. :-)

    Your rate of loss, while slow, is healthy and sustainable. Celebrate it for the loss that it is! You are 6 pounds lighter than you were. Hooray! You are also healthier and more active and that's something to celebrate as well.

    Keep up the good work and listen to your boyfriend. He's a smart man! ;-)
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    Make sure you're logging accurately.
    Food scale and measuring cups.
  • skorpio1030
    skorpio1030 Posts: 17
    It gets hard, but don't give up!! I just joined this to try to loose all the baby weight I gained from having my lil man back in December.. I'm only 5'2" and gained about 55 pounds over my pregnancy.. So trust me, I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and feeling disguisted.. This lil boy did a number on my stomach!! You have to turn the negative into a positive and use that as your motivation..

    Try to stay consistent with what you're doing and I'm sure you'll see the results you are looking for!
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    Thank you - I am proud of starting and wanting to lose the weight instead of getting worse and worse and I will celebrate losing the 6lbs, I really appreciate the supportive words, it's helpful and makes me feel better. It's not a quick fix and you're right, I'll need to be patient.

    Thank you again x
  • aimeepostma
    aimeepostma Posts: 13
    Just try to keep your mind on your goal I know it is hard to do but I have faith that you can do anything you put your mind to.
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    Make sure you're logging accurately.
    Food scale and measuring cups.

    yeah, I weight most of my food if I don't know how much I'm already eating (i.e. if I'm having ryvita or something like that - I don't weigh them).

    Thank you for replying :)
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    It gets hard, but don't give up!! I just joined this to try to loose all the baby weight I gained from having my lil man back in December.. I'm only 5'2" and gained about 55 pounds over my pregnancy.. So trust me, I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and feeling disguisted.. This lil boy did a number on my stomach!! You have to turn the negative into a positive and use that as your motivation..

    Try to stay consistent with what you're doing and I'm sure you'll see the results you are looking for!

    Thank you. I will try and be patient, I suppose I didn't put on weight overnight, it took months so it won't come off overnight either.

    Good luck with your weight loss and with your new baby x
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    Just try to keep your mind on your goal I know it is hard to do but I have faith that you can do anything you put your mind to.

    That's very true! Thank you.

    I feel much better after getting everything off my chest and I'll keep going, your words of encouragement have really helped, I appreciate it so much.
  • RisOnTheRun
    RisOnTheRun Posts: 624 Member
    Congratulations on losing 6 pounds! At times like this, you need to focus on everything that you're doing RIGHT, which sounds like a lot--you ARE losing weight (even if the loss isn't as dramatic as you might like), you're making good food choices, it sounds like you're making choices that you can probably stick to (i.e., you're not dropping your calories too low or cutting out 100% of the foods you enjoy), and you have a reasonable exercise routine. Weight loss takes time, and it is SO important to focus on the big picture. You WILL get there. We all set short terms goals, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you should also be keeping in mind all of the holidays down the road that you want to look good for. We are our own worst critics, and I'm sure that you are the only one that is focusing on your flaws rather than your assets (and btw, I'm jealous of your large boobs! I've always been bigger on the bottom than on top and would LOVE to be on the other side).
  • babinaba
    babinaba Posts: 9
    Congratulations on losing 6 pounds! At times like this, you need to focus on everything that you're doing RIGHT, which sounds like a lot--you ARE losing weight (even if the loss isn't as dramatic as you might like), you're making good food choices, it sounds like you're making choices that you can probably stick to (i.e., you're not dropping your calories too low or cutting out 100% of the foods you enjoy), and you have a reasonable exercise routine. Weight loss takes time, and it is SO important to focus on the big picture. You WILL get there. We all set short terms goals, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you should also be keeping in mind all of the holidays down the road that you want to look good for. We are our own worst critics, and I'm sure that you are the only one that is focusing on your flaws rather than your assets (and btw, I'm jealous of your large boobs! I've always been bigger on the bottom than on top and would LOVE to be on the other side).

    Thank you - really like when you say to think about all the other holidays - I have another weekend away in August so I'll try and be that little bit better than I am in June then next year, that little bit better again. It's true about only focusing on my flaws, I do that a lot, I spend too much time looking in the mirror, flattening my stomach to see how it looks, I need to stop doing that because it won't make it happen any quicker.

    You've all been really helpful and made me think about things differently which is what I needed.

    x

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