Do Disgusted with myself

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Cubanita253
Cubanita253 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't even know where to start. I'm 35 and a mom. I work full time, and go to school. I have no energy, no motivation or will power to do this. This time last year I was 25 lbs lighter than I am now and I was in the gym every morning. Now, you can't get me out of the bed if you dragged me. I feel so gross and fat, actually that's putting it nicely. I am just so lost. I love how everyone who is on the outside seems to think it's so easy to just get fit and tone. Yeah if it was so easy, everyone would be in shape. I am so depressed and I don't know what to do anymore.
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  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
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    What exactly are you looking for on here...?

    Maybe read your own post and think about how you feel for a second. That doesn't make it easier for you to just get off yoiur *ss and work on it?
  • MsipiGRITS
    MsipiGRITS Posts: 128 Member
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    Read this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/971258-fat-exhausted-and-sad?page=2#posts-14828966
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    It's not easy to get fit and tone. It takes gumption and grit. Each of us has to find both a way to fit fitness into our schedule AND the ability to kick ourselves in the pants to make sure we keep it there. But it's possible. A year ago, I could barely jog or run 0.25 miles. Still, by going out making myself run a little longer each time, I'm now jogging 1.5 miles on my "rest" days and 3 miles on my "hard" days.

    It wasn't easy. There were days I was sore. There were days I prayed for a good excuse not to run. There were times I was angry at how unfair it was my fit body was torn from me by the cancer that I had done nothing to "earn" while my peers never had to deal with that demon. But the only thing to do was to keep trying.

    It's only "easy" in that the basic solution is to go out and be active while watching your diet. However, unless you're someone who is able to devote your entire focus to fitness (and you, like most of us, aren't), the actual application of this concept is not going to be easy.

    But you can't give up. You can do it. Don't let your heart break in despair over what is, but let it find strength and hope in what can be.
  • Cubanita253
    Cubanita253 Posts: 3 Member
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    Thank you all for your advise, I hope by being on this website and getting the support I need that I can finally make this happen. Every year in Jan, I say that I will lose it by summer....then the summer comes and I haven't lost any weight...then in summer, I say I will lose it by my birthday in Dec...it's been a cycle for the past 8 years (my youngest is 8). I am tired of myself and I am praying to God that he gives me the strength that I need to get through this once and for all this time.
  • allshebe
    allshebe Posts: 423 Member
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    First, you're setting yourself impossible goals. From your gauge, I'm guessing you're wanting to lose 80 pounds or so. At 1 pound per week (generally recognized as a safe and healthy program) and assuming you have no plateaus (unlikely) it's going to take you between 1.5 and two years maybe to get there. I'm not saying you can't do it. I KNOW you CAN.

    Given your lack of energy and feelings of depression, I would guess you are either not eating the right "things" in the right amounts or you are clinically depressed or both. Please see your doctor before starting this journey. In the mean time, log everything you eat and all your exercise, so you have a baseline to start from.

    You could also begin to select some foods or drinks that you think you can do without or at least reduce consumption of (sweet/salty/fatty snacks, sugary drinks, etc). "Cleaning" your diet is generally a safe place to start. Just doing that may be enough to get things started. Make small, sustainable changes rather than attempting major changes.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    I don't even know where to start. I'm 35 and a mom. I work full time, and go to school. I have no energy, no motivation or will power to do this. This time last year I was 25 lbs lighter than I am now and I was in the gym every morning. Now, you can't get me out of the bed if you dragged me. I feel so gross and fat, actually that's putting it nicely. I am just so lost. I love how everyone who is on the outside seems to think it's so easy to just get fit and tone. Yeah if it was so easy, everyone would be in shape. I am so depressed and I don't know what to do anymore.

    First, sound like you have some serious clincal depression going on. The hell of it is, depression causes you to lose interest in working out, but working out is one of the things that helps alleviate depression. You might see a doctor or counselor for help there if you can't turn it around on your own.

    But really, weight loss and strength training principles are VERY easy.

    Make healthy choices often for food.
    Moderate your total calorie intake.
    Do cardio to improve health.
    Strength train to improve fitness.
    Do the above CONSITENTLY.

    The part that is difficult for people is dicipline, or making the choice to go after what you want most instead of what you want to make you feel good right now.

    Fact is, ANYONE can do it. They just have to get past themself.
  • wyattsmomvanessa
    wyattsmomvanessa Posts: 8
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    I understand exactly how that feels, being that I have gained 40 pounds in the last 8 months. But please don't be so hard on yourself!

    It never helps to beat yourself up, and the wonderful thing about taking proactive steps is they make one start to feel better long before he or she reaches his or her goal.

    If you can focus on the first few steps ahead of you, you may feel less overwhelmed. Plus, exercise reduces the effects of stress hormones, and many studies show it to be as effective as SSRI medications (like Prozac) in reducing feelings of depression.

    Honestly, you don;t deserve such harshness from anyone, including you.

    *huge hugs*
  • chercee
    chercee Posts: 120 Member
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    There's already good advice here, so I won't repeat any of it. I will add though, that you should have your doctor check you out if you haven't already. There are medical conditions that can cause that kind of fatigue - yes it can be depression, but it can be other things too. Have your iron checked, your B-vitamins checked (when my B12 is low, I want to sleep like I have mono), and anything else the doctor might consider to be a possibility. Before I figured out about my B12, I literally couldn't get out of bed by myself - my friend had to come to my house, drag me out of bed, put me in the car, and help me into the doctor's office. I was so exhausted I thought I was dying.

    Anyway I'm not saying that's your answer, but it's something to look into, just in case. Good luck!
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    Thank god for being able to ignore users cuz I cant stand the ignorance today! Fa' real....

    ANYHOO.....to me it sounds like depression because I've been and currently going through the same thing. That is EXACTLY how i felt and it friggin sucks. Hopefully you can go see a therapist that can help lift your soul mama....its one of theee worst feelings in the world to feel the way you're feeling.

    Sending you a friend request now :flowerforyou:
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    Think of changing WHAT you eat. Contrary to what most people say here, you CAN lose weight without struggling with hunger and exercising like a mad woman. It's the FOOD. Choosing the right foods will also get rid of the depression that you are obviously struggling with. I've resolved so many health problems that I won't list them here. (Look at my diary- my eating plan can be called Ketogenic and Primal. Fancy labels, but necessary to give you a starting point for research.)

    I've been where you are and I understand but I hope you can choose to make a change before you are diabetic, or something else. When you are ready, find a lifestyle change that is appealing enough to do for the rest of your life. As you already know, severe calorie restriction and low fat diets do NOT work and they are NOT healthy.

    Stop yo-yoing because that is even worse than not losing the weight at all.
  • kahyee
    kahyee Posts: 63
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    Try not to focus so much on the weight you have to lose and redirect that energy to focusing on your behaviors. Say I'm going to get up 10 mins earlier that usual. You don't have to do anything, just wake up. Then build on that by putting on sneakers and workout clothes. Then build on that by walking up and down your stairs (if you have them in the house) for 15 mins. And so on and so on. Do the same for you eating habits. Start small and work from there.

    I feel that when you begin to accomplish some goals, no matter how small, you'll be able to turn around all the negative self talk and get to losing the weight and reclaiming your life. Good luck.
  • originalcookiemonster
    originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
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    It's not easy to get fit and tone. It takes gumption and grit. Each of us has to find both a way to fit fitness into our schedule AND the ability to kick ourselves in the pants to make sure we keep it there. But it's possible. A year ago, I could barely jog or run 0.25 miles. Still, by going out making myself run a little longer each time, I'm now jogging 1.5 miles on my "rest" days and 3 miles on my "hard" days.

    It wasn't easy. There were days I was sore. There were days I prayed for a good excuse not to run. There were times I was angry at how unfair it was my fit body was torn from me by the cancer that I had done nothing to "earn" while my peers never had to deal with that demon. But the only thing to do was to keep trying.

    It's only "easy" in that the basic solution is to go out and be active while watching your diet. However, unless you're someone who is able to devote your entire focus to fitness (and you, like most of us, aren't), the actual application of this concept is not going to be easy.

    But you can't give up. You can do it. Don't let your heart break in despair over what is, but let it find strength and hope in what can be.

    This was inspiring. YOU GET EM! Thank you for this. :)
  • PosterPens
    PosterPens Posts: 172 Member
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    its actually really awesome you feel this disgusted. you have reached a point where its not working for you anymore and WILL do something about it. baby steps! you can be where you were last year in no time...use your motivation of disgust to get you back on track.
  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 338 Member
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    Have the Dr check your levels, B and D specifically

    Low D can account for extreme tiredness, and thinking you get enough sun, doesn't cut it, I am outside in short sleeved T shirts all day, and mine was really low.
  • alimauer
    alimauer Posts: 33 Member
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    And as response to the post! Honestly, it is really hard to get back into the groove. But after about two weeks it seems like energy starts coming back and everything just starts to feel good again! I have been there and just start small! Do not overwhelm yourself. Just do little things everyday to help yourself. Like stop soda, or chocolate. Or walk for 15 minutes, anything one baby step and before you know it ou will start to push yourself to do more! You could EASILY lose 25 pounds in about two and a half months. If you think about it that is nothing.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
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    I don't even know where to start. I'm 35 and a mom. I work full time, and go to school. I have no energy, no motivation or will power to do this. This time last year I was 25 lbs lighter than I am now and I was in the gym every morning. Now, you can't get me out of the bed if you dragged me. I feel so gross and fat, actually that's putting it nicely. I am just so lost. I love how everyone who is on the outside seems to think it's so easy to just get fit and tone. Yeah if it was so easy, everyone would be in shape. I am so depressed and I don't know what to do anymore.

    It's much easier to get fit once you do find your motivation, but it is slow going. It took me a year and a half to get where I'm at today. After years of trying and failing and trying and failing I found something that worked which for me was MFP and taking baby steps. It may seem overwhelming and difficult now, but it is worth it and now it feels like I did it all overnight and not 18 months. The first step though is making it important to you and dealing with your own feelings of self worth. If you don't feel like you deserve to be healthy and fit, then it will be difficult to do the work you need to do. But it definitely is not as difficult to accomplish as you think it is. Just be realistic with your goals and patient with yourself.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/857137-for-the-newbies-here-is-what-losing-80-pounds-is-like
  • alimauer
    alimauer Posts: 33 Member
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    What exactly are you looking for on here...?

    Maybe read your own post and think about how you feel for a second. That doesn't make it easier for you to just get off yoiur *ss and work on it?


    What is your issue? This is the second time I have seen you just being completly and utterly rude. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ON HERE?
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    its actually really awesome you feel this disgusted. you have reached a point where its not working for you anymore and WILL do something about it. baby steps! you can be where you were last year in no time...use your motivation of disgust to get you back on track.

    I agree with this - while it may not motivate some, it was exactly what turned me around over 2 years ago.

    I was so tired of being fat, tired, sick, and depressed all the damn time. I felt so ashamed of myself.

    I finally decided to change it. It was hard. I mean really really hard...but I have reached my goal 28 months later and feel like I can accomplish ANYTHING.

    It was really slow going and frustrating, so take your measurements as well as weight so you have two things to show progress. Make sure you eat enough (NOT 1200 calories a day - that will be bad and make you even more tired). Stay hydrated and lift some weights (or do body weight exercises) combined with some cardio (more weights, less cardio - walking is fine).

    Don't try to change all bad habits at once etiher - sure fire way to fail. Change one thing at a time. The one change I made that made the biggest impact was eat smaller portions.

    Best of luck to you! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
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    EXERCISE IS A NATURAL ANTIDEPRESSANT.....
    this time last year you got up and went to the gym and felt great yes???
    push yourself to go again and go.. and your mood will instantly get better..
    75% of why I workout is for how it makes me feel ! in my mood and overall attitude
    and of course eating healthier helps too.. but for me exercise is HUGE...
    and of course looking better is a perk too..
    cheer up... I know its hard.. and you sound like you have a lot on your plate... and yes your ticker is at 80 pounds.. but its not at 200+!!! it is do-able...
  • meggyshae
    meggyshae Posts: 357 Member
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    I completely understand how you feel because 7 months ago I weighed 281 lbs. It's when I decided to make a change and not except any excuses for myself and decide that enough was enough and turn my frustrations into actions...that I became happy! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

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