Are you the only one in need of losing weight?

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PaigeAnderson100
PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
in Motivation and Support
In my household, I have a 4 month old daughter, my fiancé and myself. No one is trying to lose weight in my home and it's sometimes hard to stay on track that way. My fiancé, Mark is 5 foot 8 inches and 140 pounds, very muscular and can eat anything that he wants without gaining a single pound.... (pathetic I know).

When we go grocery shopping, I want to get lean meats, vegetables, fruits and some weight watchers treats.. he wants to get swiss cake rolls, steak, fruit snacks, popcorn, chips, cake, cupcakes and other junk food items. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely supportive of me losing weight and would do anything to make it possible for me but, I don't want him to have to change his eating habits just because I am.. you know? Although he does very well because, he will eat junk and crap for 3 days out of the week and than the rest of the week, he almost follows a diet plan... I wish that I could blow 3 days and still maintain or lose. ;(

Also, I am full of willpower so, I don't eat those junk food snacks unless I allow myself the extra points so, don't start critiquing my willpower and motivation... I definitely have a lot of it.

I am just wondering if there are any other ladies out there who's significant other's can eat anything and not gain a single pound, have the perfect body and does that make you discouraged while losing weight?
It kind of makes me feel discouraged because I can't just eat whatever I want and maintain my weight... I have to work HARD for losing any amount of pounds that I am blessed to lose...

Is there anyone else? Sorry I kind of rambled and got off track but you get the general idea of this post, right? :)

Replies

  • skinnydreams19
    skinnydreams19 Posts: 282 Member
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    There's a reason that there's the 'couples weight gain.' It's tough to accept that we can't eat like guys.
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
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    I'm the only one in my family trying to lose weight. I'm living with my parents and sisters because I'm going back to school and though I have one sister (18) who is gaining weight rapidly, she shows no interest in losing any of it, then I've got two young sisters, my mum who is about 114lbs and eats whatever she wants, and then my dad with cancer who is trying to gain weight. It can definately be a struggle to stay on track with eating when nobody around you is watching what they eat for sure!!! Fortunately for me, I'm the only vegan in my family, so that causes me to make seperate healthy meals for myself. It's just the snacking I have to watch!
  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
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    I totally get it - my dad needs to lose weight but doesn't care at this point if he does or not. He brings all kinds of cookies, chips, candy, and especially ice cream into the house. My brother was drinking tons of soda and eating crap food but he just found out he's pre-diabetic, so he needs to make some changes or else.

    My mom thinks she's fat but she's like a size 4 so she's just crazy there because if I had her body I wouldn't be dieting. Maybe she could tone up a little, but I think her weight is fine where it's at - I mean if I get to 63 and am fortunate enough to look like that, I won't be dieting lol.
  • epie2098
    epie2098 Posts: 224 Member
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    Doesn't matter if he can eat what he wants. He needs to look after his overall health now to create a lifetime of looking after himself. My husband is 49, I'm 36, and there comes a point where your body doesn't snap back easily. Not only that but you are parents now, and which set of eating habits do you want your daughter to see? Kids notice everything!

    My advice is to go grocery shopping solo. Be the one who brings healthy food into the house. Brian Wansink, food scientist, calls this the nutritional gatekeeper. If he wants treats, let him be the one who gets what he wants for himself.

    While you're losing weight, pay attention when you're cooking to healthy-man-portions and give him extra good stuff so he's not as hungry (clearly he has a great metabolism) and won't be reaching for treats so often.
  • ArieMc88
    ArieMc88 Posts: 18
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    I totally agree with you! My husband is 163 5'8 and very very musular. He eats whatever he wants,whenever he wants. Me on the other hand I am 173 5'6 and work out like crazy...
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    Even if your fiance is thin now, that junk food will take a toll on his body if he keeps it up. He will probably develop clogged arteries and heart disease. Diet is a big factor in some cancers, especially prostate cancer, the #2 most common cancer for men who in the western hemisphere. Men who live in countries where they don't eat a lot of fat, junk food, etc. (poor countries where they eat beans and rice and fish) don't get the disease as much (My info is from the Lombardi Cancer Center in D.C. -- my late husband had this terrible disease).

    Finally, all that junk food rots your teeth and causes dental disease.

    The changes you are making now will also be good for your child, who will probably grow up imitating what the adults eat in your home.
  • tndejong
    tndejong Posts: 463
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    i am in your same situation. my fiance is a slim 170. he goes to the gym a lot. bikes to work. can run a 5. i started on here at 265. i have lost 52 so far. i am having such a hard time with meals. i had to stop cooking dinners and we both make our own meals. i had no other solution. he did not like anything i cooked that would help me in my weight loss. we also have the same struggle with our fitness. because he can run, he doesnt want to walk with me. in the gym we both dont like the same activities. he bikes to work, so he doesnt want to sit on a stationary bike. so its rought. but you have to do this for you and put that aside. i compromise and let him have his fun at the gym with friends. he cooks his own meals during the week. on the weekends i will go out to eat or cook at home things we both like. i will make up the extra exercise to be mindful of my calories when im doing so.
  • Lala_White
    Lala_White Posts: 52 Member
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    There are ways to cook healthier, but it still taste very good. For instance, instead of ground beef, I will use ground turkey or ground chicken.. and will use some ground buffalo (which is a bit more expensive.. but it's a treat)... Also, watch the sugar content of foods like spaghetti sauces, bbq sauces..... I will also use reduced fat products, when possible.

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  • AspiringPinkPinUp
    AspiringPinkPinUp Posts: 448
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    Mine! Right here! haha My husband (Also named Mark, but goes by Markus) is about 5'9.5" and muscular. He's very active with work and the fire dept and can eat burgers & pizza until the cows come home but never gains a pound!! Used to make me angry and wish I could do the same but, now I know I'm glad I can't because I love how my body feels the way I eat now (Clean, organic, very little junk) So yes, I'm the only one trying to lose weight BUT, he's so supportive and helps motivate me and I've inspired him finally! He had his last cigarette yesterday morning! I'm so proud of him for taking the first step to quitting. That will be quite the journey itself but, we're in this together ;]
  • rosah2
    rosah2 Posts: 40 Member
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    You are not alone. My husband can eat anything and never gains weight. He is a rabbit hunter who runs his dogs three or four times a week and his metabolism is awesome. I am so jealous! He doesn't eat the same way I do either. He loves his candy; especially milk chocolate, cookies, cakes, puddings, and ice cream. Oh yeah, chips too. He turns up his nose at veggies and wants lots of fried foods. So I cook for him and cook for me. He is supportive of me losing weight but since he doesn't need to; he won't eat the same things. That makes it harder but I can do this!

    Oh yeah, I forgot to say he is 64 yrs old, 5'10" and weighs 160. He has eaten this way all his life.
  • PaigeAnderson100
    PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
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    I figured there would be a few people who would put down our parenting because of his food choices and put down him because he eats that way.... it's always somebody on this website.

    Our daughter will learn portion control when she starts eating food and my fiancé is ADDICTED to looking his best so, I am sure if he gained any amount of weight, he would start eating healthier. He works out every day for a few hours so, that might have soething to do with it...
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    When we go grocery shopping, I want to get lean meats, vegetables, fruits and some weight watchers treats.. he wants to get swiss cake rolls, steak, fruit snacks, popcorn, chips, cake, cupcakes and other junk food items. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely supportive of me losing weight and would do anything to make it possible for me but, I don't want him to have to change his eating habits just because I am.. you know?

    I did a double-take reading this part, because those words could've literally come from me :laugh: except the weight watchers bit. I don't follow any "diets" but I've been really trying to eat healthy.

    My boyfriend is exactly the same as your fiance here. Though, he doesn't have a "perfect" body (he's slender, but has a bit of a belly), and he has gained some weight since I met him (170 now, used to be 160). However, he's still well within a healthy weight range, so I don't judge his eating habits and he rarely "pigs out" any more, especially since we've stopped smoking weed. The part that I wish he would join me in more often is exercise, because he is very out of shape in that regard -- any physical activity lasting more than twenty minutes exhausts him, and I worry about his overall health. But it's not my job to get him into shape, so I just lead by example and hope he follows suit. :smile:
  • epie2098
    epie2098 Posts: 224 Member
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    I figured there would be a few people who would put down our parenting because of his food choices and put down him because he eats that way.... it's always somebody on this website.

    Our daughter will learn portion control when she starts eating food and my fiancé is ADDICTED to looking his best so, I am sure if he gained any amount of weight, he would start eating healthier. He works out every day for a few hours so, that might have soething to do with it...

    I'm certainly not putting down your parenting, just pointing out that you do have a daughter who will see, absorb, and model everything you teach her. I am a parent and a teacher, so I walk two paths. Just the other day, a student commented on how I always wear great shoes - I don't work with this particular kid; we just share a school. And that's just my shoes - nothing to do with the classroom culture I create and how I facilitate learning!
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,212 Member
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    Even if your fiance is thin now, that junk food will take a toll on his body if he keeps it up. He will probably develop clogged arteries and heart disease. Diet is a big factor in some cancers, especially prostate cancer, the #2 most common cancer for men who in the western hemisphere. Men who live in countries where they don't eat a lot of fat, junk food, etc. (poor countries where they eat beans and rice and fish) don't get the disease as much (My info is from the Lombardi Cancer Center in D.C. -- my late husband had this terrible disease).

    Finally, all that junk food rots your teeth and causes dental disease.

    The changes you are making now will also be good for your child, who will probably grow up imitating what the adults eat in your home.

    THIS a million times! You can be at a normal weight and still be very unhealthy. You can only control how you eat and how your child eats. But since we are looking at the first generation of kids who may not live as long as their parents due to obesity and related diseases, your child will be much better served to follow your nutritional lead!
  • PaigeAnderson100
    PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
    Options

    When we go grocery shopping, I want to get lean meats, vegetables, fruits and some weight watchers treats.. he wants to get swiss cake rolls, steak, fruit snacks, popcorn, chips, cake, cupcakes and other junk food items. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely supportive of me losing weight and would do anything to make it possible for me but, I don't want him to have to change his eating habits just because I am.. you know?

    I did a double-take reading this part, because those words could've literally come from me :laugh: except the weight watchers bit. I don't follow any "diets" but I've been really trying to eat healthy.

    My boyfriend is exactly the same as your fiance here. Though, he doesn't have a "perfect" body (he's slender, but has a bit of a belly), and he has gained some weight since I met him (170 now, used to be 160). However, he's still well within a healthy weight range, so I don't judge his eating habits and he rarely "pigs out" any more, especially since we've stopped smoking weed. The part that I wish he would join me in more often is exercise, because he is very out of shape in that regard -- any physical activity lasting more than twenty minutes exhausts him, and I worry about his overall health. But it's not my job to get him into shape, so I just lead by example and hope he follows suit. :smile:

    I absolutely love WW because it has taught me more portion control and it has taught me so much more than calorie counting did. I lost a good chunk of weight on MFP solely but, after joining WW, I notice more differences with myself and my weight.

    I am happy with the things that I am doing, for sure! :)

    My fiancé can work out for hours and hours on end without breaking a sweat and he absolutely loves the burn so, our men are different in that way.

    I wish that we could be as lucky as they are to be able to eat anything ;)
  • PaigeAnderson100
    PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
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    Even if your fiance is thin now, that junk food will take a toll on his body if he keeps it up. He will probably develop clogged arteries and heart disease. Diet is a big factor in some cancers, especially prostate cancer, the #2 most common cancer for men who in the western hemisphere. Men who live in countries where they don't eat a lot of fat, junk food, etc. (poor countries where they eat beans and rice and fish) don't get the disease as much (My info is from the Lombardi Cancer Center in D.C. -- my late husband had this terrible disease).

    Finally, all that junk food rots your teeth and causes dental disease.

    The changes you are making now will also be good for your child, who will probably grow up imitating what the adults eat in your home.

    THIS a million times! You can be at a normal weight and still be very unhealthy. You can only control how you eat and how your child eats. But since we are looking at the first generation of kids who may not live as long as their parents due to obesity and related diseases, your child will be much better served to follow your nutritional lead!

    He is the perfect size, the perfect BMI, the perfect weight and he is very active. He works out up to three hours a day and is a very fit man. Very muscular and healthy!
  • workinprogress37
    workinprogress37 Posts: 24 Member
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    I am the only one in my family trying to lose weight, although my husband needs to. A few years ago he lost about 60 lbs and he maintained it for the most part. He is a diabetic and really needs to work on eating better, there is only so much that I can do about that. I don't really buy much junk food, I have 2 boys ages 14 and 10, so I buy some things for them to snack on. But my husband goes out and buys chips and stuff. I see it in his lunchbox. I wish he would join me in eating healthier and exercising, but that's just the way things are for me. We each have our own struggles. I hope that you have success, you've done well so far. Congrats on the 45 lbs weight loss. I know that wasn't easy.

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