feeling a million times better :D

KayteeB07
KayteeB07 Posts: 341
in Motivation and Support
Well i posted my story on here a few days ago where i was in a really dark place with my eating,

I was starving myself on 3-500 calories a day and then going on huge binges which made me sick. My stomach exploded outwards under all the stress and i was seriously depressed. Crying and being extremely low all the time which was doing me no good as it made me want to starve/binge more.

I fell into this trap by forcing myself to live on just meat, fruit and veg for 31 days in order to lose weight which was so stupid, i know! As soon as i upped my calories from 500 - 1200 i freaked out. I gained weight rapidly, i had insatiable cravings which made binge and binge and binge untill i was crying with shame

On Saturday after another day of starving myself i had a sudden breakthrough. I was more miserable now than when i was fat, which is not normal lol. So ive created a more sensible eating plan which is slowly going to up my calories, it includes a portion of carbs in the morning and one treat a day so i can get out of the habit of binging. Im starting at 700 calories a day (which i know is still stupidly low but its a push in the right direction) and every week im going to add 200 calories. This way i can get back to normal eating habits without totally freaking myself out again lol

feeling loads more positive :)

Replies

  • Rarity2013
    Rarity2013 Posts: 196 Member
    This is great. Sometimes you only have these realisations after putting yourself through it. Introducing calories gradually is an excellent idea. I know you'll be fine :)
  • mimiwin
    mimiwin Posts: 42 Member
    I had the same happen to me and I did like you within 3 weeks I was back to eating normally and then it's about loving yourself and doing your best.. :) ah and always never beat yoruself up about not being perfect or following the plan to teh letter because that leads to guilt and more binge or starvation .

    one day at a time and you ll be fine and you will maintain !! Sending you all my positive vibes and wanted to let you know you are not alone and what you are doing is really brave and shows you care about yourself !! so you go girl !!!

    Mimi
  • KayteeB07
    KayteeB07 Posts: 341
    thanks hunny
    i still have 13lbs till my goal weight to be at a healthy weight but im hoping with my better eating and exercise it will come off, although there is still a small part of me that its terrified at not losing the remaining weight. Thats the bit of me i have to keep pushing away haha.
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
    I'm on 1200 a day, I train everyday, I eat back some/most of the cals I earnt. If I feel like wine I have it, same with choc or anything I feel like. so long as I have the cals, there has been times when I simply don't have the cals, so I jump on the treadmill and earn them. no bringes, not guilt
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Congratulations for developing a plan to get back on track. Please, please, please, take excellent care of yourself! Nobody can do it for you.:flowerforyou:
  • tmaree2
    tmaree2 Posts: 37 Member
    What a wonderful insight you have of yourself. With that self knowledge and understanding of how you 'tick' you can only succeed. remember to take things at the pace that you can cope with...losing weight is not a marathon run..it doesn't have a distance or time frame! Its your cross country run :smile:

    challenge yourself in increments until your mind becomes comfortable with that, then challenge again. our mind can be retrained the same as our body.

    wishing you all the best for your success, however I don't think you will need best wishes from all of us...you have it sussed!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Hey, do you realise how beautiful you are right now? Well you are gorgous! I'm so happy you are going to slowly add the calories on. Your body will be very happy about it. I'm sure you'll get to goal without any problem. I hope you aren't over-exercising on top of eating so little though. Your net calories are what counts so take that easy if doing cardio till you can eat more. Do some weights to preserve muscle or some sort of weight bearing exercise. Your heart is a muscle too and you need it :flowerforyou:
  • KayteeB07
    KayteeB07 Posts: 341
    thankyou so much for your messages everyone, you've all honestly helped me so much getting back on track
    i never ever thought id end up with an eating disorder, it was the scariest thing ever i cant lie
    ive never been so depressed in my life and it seemed like i could never ever get out of it.
    I do around 30 minuets of walking a day, 40 minuets on an exercise bike and im doing the 30 day shred so i know my net calories are still quite low but building up my food intake is my first step to getting back to normality.
    im still trying to figure out how to add weights into my routine, my brother has 3KG weights i was gonna start using but im trying to find a beginers programme that can get me started
    My holiday is in 25 days so im hoping i can get to a good weight and body shape before then while getting myself back to normal eating :)
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    i still have 13lbs till my goal weight to be at a healthy weight but im hoping with my better eating and exercise it will come off, although there is still a small part of me that its terrified at not losing the remaining weight. Thats the bit of me i have to keep pushing away haha.

    i know it's easier said than done, but try to remind your self that if it comes off slowly, and you get there in a sensible way, it is MUCH more likely to stay off when you get there. If you've got "only" 13 lbs to go (in quotes because it's a lot to you, but it's not a whole lot in the grand scheme of things) then normal loss SHOULD be slow. .5 pounds a week progress for you would be really the most you can expect if you do this in a healthy way.

    Do you do any strength training? you may find that body composition and not the number on the scale is really what should change to get you where you want. My sister wears a smaller size than most of her friends, but she weighs more!!!! It's because she's been strength training for quite a while and she is tone and compact and tight and I kinda hate her for it lol. (nah I don't, she works really hard for it and deserves it all)

    be patient with yourself.
  • tmaree2
    tmaree2 Posts: 37 Member
    http://www.self.com/fitness/workouts/

    have a look at this site...it has some great suggestions for incorporating some weights into your training. it has videos to watch that explain how to do them. I think it would help, I use some of them after my walk.

    can I suggest seeing your GP for your depression...im not suggesting you need medication or being diagnosed, I am suggesting getting some helpful connections in your community to help you reach your targets, that may even include a counsellor or psychologist.

    take care.
  • KayteeB07
    KayteeB07 Posts: 341
    thanks guys honestly i feel amazing now haha
    i think my body is seriously appriciating my small bowl of cereal in the morning as its finally getting some real carbs.
    Ill deff take a look at that and start a strength programme as i think i really need it haha
    x

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