Dealing with anger?

misseseaj2010

I wasn't sure which topic to put this under but here I go.

What do you guys do to let go of anger quickly and permanently? I am the type of person that I get really worked up and aggravated and then it ruins my whole day. I feel like I have gotten better about it and can talk myself down to a point. But I am still finding myself getting very aggravated at work and holding onto it for a few hours.

I have some difficult co-workers so I tend to get aggravated often, and holding onto this aggravation is really putting a damper on my work attitude.

What advice would you give for letting go of anger/aggravation? Also how do I not get aggravated in the first place?

Replies

squatsandlipgloss

What kind of things aggravate you?

kar328

Having just come off a three day work weekend in which the coworkers were more annoying than usual, I totally understand. It's a hard issue to master. I'm on a ten day vacation next Sunday morning, and I can tell I need it.

I've done a lot to deal with stress relief. I've been seeing a hypnotherapist for it. It's helped immensely - I know I don't sound like it now, but I've slacked off on listening to my taped sessions. A lot of it combines breathing exercises, those work well during the coworkers from hell shifts. Another trick I use is aromatherapy. I have a pulse point roll on stick which has a combination of scents. Some nights I walk around sniffing my wrist constantly :explode:

I felt I made a ton of progress with the hypnotherapy. Ive backslid a bit because I haven't made the time to listen to the sessions, but after this weekend, I'm resolving to get back into the habit. When I did them, so much just rolled off my back and I didn't let anger linger for hours. I realized how little the drama means.

Good luck.

Renee4joy

What I do..Is pray. I am not sure if you believe in God or not, but the pwoer of peace that he gives me helps me to not be aggravated by people, especially those who have an annoying spirit. Find a scripture that speaks to your heart and meditiate on it. Pray for those people who do not have positive attitudes. THis works for me and you know what??..God moves them from my immediate attention. THey are no longer a bother to me.. THey still work with me but they no longer have any power to annoy or aggravate me. I pray for them for God to bless them and help them as well. Try Christ.. He's real!
Renee4joy!

ninerbuff

Kickboxing. Lol, half of my participants take the classes because they need a physical outlet.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Cr01502

I throw things.

billsica

I run.

Dragonnade

I'm terribly aggressive. And wholly self-destructive. So if I don't get the anger out, at best, I end up smoking heavily and necking gin like no tomorrow.

So:

I call people c**ts a lot. Not to their face, not within hearing, and not with anyone around. Sometimes, not even outloud. I also scorn, belittle and condescend. All in my head. Cos then it's 'out' and I can bite my tongue whilst around them.

Also exercise. Hard, long sessions on the gym bike where I zone out focusing and just bring the pain. Generally works best when I find myself just wanting to fight people.

Violent sports also help. Nothing like seeing blood to calm me down.

Oh, and heavy metal. Loudly. Until the anger gives up the fight.

Trolling in a wholly professional manner also works well in a work environment. It's gratifying whilst also ensures they can get nothing on you.

And finally, change up that situation that's making you angry. Took me a few years but now I am free of a large number of utter twerps and life is Fabulous!

EmilyOfTheSun

I bottle up my emotions until it gets to me so much that I have a super b*tch freak out about once a month.
I think it's the healthiest way to go about it!

Just kidding.

I usually smoke some green to calm down. Guess that's no good either. (I mean it's great, but not when you use it to deal with stress and other emotional problems).

If you figure out a good way of dealing with anger, please share it with me.

ilovedeadlifts

lifting. I've had some of my best gym sessions while angry.

listening to / playing music is another good outlet.

taunto

laugh it off. I am being serious. This is pretty much the only option I could find.

fattyfoodie

I go to yoga, although I found that I was really only getting temporary respite from the anger.

I started CrossFit last week, and I have to say going into a gym and lifting some heavy stuff is pretty theraputic. Especially since they want you to get pissed off. On Saturday morning, I was working on my dead lift form and I was so damn angry at the weight that I totally forgot why I was angry in the first place. I kind of had one of those "AHA!!!" moments. Haven't been angry about anything since. Which is kind of a record, I have a lot of anger issues.

Junebugsc

What I do..Is pray. I am not sure if you believe in God or not, but the pwoer of peace that he gives me helps me to not be aggravated by people, especially those who have an annoying spirit. Find a scripture that speaks to your heart and meditiate on it. Pray for those people who do not have positive attitudes. THis works for me and you know what??..God moves them from my immediate attention. THey are no longer a bother to me.. THey still work with me but they no longer have any power to annoy or aggravate me. I pray for them for God to bless them and help them as well. Try Christ.. He's real!
Renee4joy!

This ^^^^^^ wonderfully said!!!

misseseaj2010

What kind of things aggravate you?

I work in the district office, I am the only office worker and I answer to my boss here obviously, but also I turn my work into the corporate office.

One woman I report to, I have caught her lying several times. And I can't just be like "hey your lying." I have called her out in very non-confrontational ways and she will be like "oh yes your right" and act like it was just a mistake or over sight when I know for a fact she is lying. And she doesn't pay attention to her work and when she make mistakes she puts it off on me like it was my fault. I can give specific examples but it would just take too long.

Also all the women at the corporate office are very anal, like I could staple something and send it to them and then get an email and them be like "you need to staple it like this from now on" that actually happened.

Another thing is, the people at the corporate office come to me for EVERYTHING. Like stuff that has nothing to do with me and then I have to pass it on to the appropriate person like the manger, superintendent, or safety manager. Instead of them going directly back and forth they try to do everything through me even though everyone has their own emails and work cell phones. And then if something is not done right they basically tell me to fix it instead of going to the person who should be fixing it. So then I have to give it to the person and it is just a mess and very frustrating and a waste of my time.

Sorry wasn't trying to go on a rant, I'm just saying I'm not getting aggravated for no reason I have legit reasons.

edit: for spelling mistake

ArroganceInStep

I fight people at my dojo.

Much healthier than my previous outlet which was fighting people at the bar.

ArroganceInStep

What kind of things aggravate you?

I work in the district office, I am the only office worker and I answer to my boss here obviously, but also I turn my work into the corporate office.

One woman I report to, I have caught her lying several times. And I can't just be like "hey your lying." I have called her out in very non-confrontational ways and she will be like "oh yes your right" and act like it was just a mistake or over sight when I know for a fact she is lying. And she doesn't pay attention to her work and when she make mistakes she puts it off on me like it was my fault. I can give specific examples but it would just take too long.

Also all the women at the corporate office are very anal, like I could staple something and send it to them and then get an email and them be like "you need to staple it like this from now on" that actually happened.

Another thing is, the people at the corporate office come to me for EVERYTHING. Like stuff that has nothing to do with me and then I have to pass it on to the appropriate person like the manger, superintendent, or safety manager. Instead of them going directly back and forth they try to do everything through me even though everyone has their own emails and work cell phones. And then if something is not done right they basically tell me to fix it instead of going to the person who should be fixing it. So then I have to give it to the person and it is just a mess and very frustrating and a waste of my time.

Sorry wasn't trying to go on a rant, I'm just saying I'm not getting aggravated for no reason I have legit reasons.

edit: for spelling mistake

"Peter, most people don't like their jobs. But you go out there and find something that makes you happy."

It's work. Separate yourself from it. When you leave work, LEAVE. That helps me a lot. I don't have the same situation you do, but I also work in a high stress field.

misseseaj2010

I bottle up my emotions until it gets to me so much that I have a super b*tch freak out about once a month.
I think it's the healthiest way to go about it!

This is literally what happens to me. Then I make an *kitten* out of myself and it's terribly awkward. lol

misseseaj2010

What I do..Is pray. I am not sure if you believe in God or not, but the pwoer of peace that he gives me helps me to not be aggravated by people, especially those who have an annoying spirit. Find a scripture that speaks to your heart and meditiate on it. Pray for those people who do not have positive attitudes. THis works for me and you know what??..God moves them from my immediate attention. THey are no longer a bother to me.. THey still work with me but they no longer have any power to annoy or aggravate me. I pray for them for God to bless them and help them as well. Try Christ.. He's real!
Renee4joy!

This is a great suggestion. Thank you so much for responding.

newmelady

I have been taking calcium+magnesium supplement at night. It helps me sleep better as well as keeps me calm through out the day.I used to be the sort of person who find lots reason to be aggravated and angry. Now I feel very calm. I can multi task. And I don't feel overwhelmed , angry or aggravated.
I think magnesium alone will make a person much calmer. Ask your doctor.
Sorry............I had not seen your second post. I can relate because I was in a similar job / situation. I thought all of them needed mothering.

crazybookworm

Write everything down and get it out. Use short form if you have too. With you being at work, it may be hard due to risk of people seeing it, so try sending yourself an e-mail. Talk about why your mad, what you get out of it staying mad(probably nothing), etc. I write myself an e-mail almost weekly, it really helps! I store them in a folder and if a similar problem pops up again, I can just re-read an e-mail I wrote to myself on how do deal with the problem.

When I get home after a long day, I'll take out the stress at the gym and with some yoga! Instant fix!

Good luck!

artistryrose

It's sounds like you a reliable worker!! You should take pride in that!!! As far as the anal stapler woman goes, she obviously has her own issues if she is worried about the staple placement. When you get a moment throughout your workday, just stop. Stand up straight take a deep breath an lift your arms in the air stretching out your body. Do this maybe three times. Then tell your self that you are respected and reliable! You're only putting notches in your belt by working hard!! Hard workers move up! People act the way they do because they are either envious of your hard work and you in general or they have some kind of issue, whether its at home or at work. Remind yourself that they are tainted and do silly things to make them feel better about themselves.

When I get really frustrated at work, to the point where I want to slap my associates, I go in the freezer (I work in a bakery) shut the door (which I can get out of) and just take deep breaths. Then I swear under my breath and tell my self that I can't let there issues bother me. Because remember you are a hard worker, no matter what you will always have people in your life that will piss you off. You gotta remember the great things about yourself and the hard work you put in to your job. People act the way they do because of they're own issues. When someone pisses you off, ask yourself, What could be going on in their life that makes them act like that? Maybe someone is dying in the family, maybe they have an abusive relationship, maybe their kids are at the stage where they hate and revolt against parents, maybe they are going to file bankruptcy, maybe they just hate themselves... It will give you a new perspective. Maybe one day just bring a simple card for someone that says, thanks for your help. I appreciate the work you do. Compliment them. If you set your day up positive with the people around you, it can make your whole day positive.

debralekicsummers

music does the trick for me. I would say kick boxing or any form of exercise where you can push yourself hard. And of course if all else fails, go somewhere where you won't be disturbed and just scream at the top of your lungs or even into your pillow, not forgetting to yell out all the names of the people who made you angry , then a couple of deep breathes and you good to go!

servilia

I was like this! I had to separate my emotions from my work if that makes any sense. I made myself remember that in the big scheme of things these things don't really matter.

Duck_Puddle

I run.

This helps significantly increase my tolerance level for bullsh!t and stupidity. Bonus is I lose weight too!

sunshinestater

You can actually use anger to your benefit. It's an active emotion, which is a good thing because it's full of energy you can rechannel. Depression is a passive emotion, and it's often the result of anger turned inward. Ask yourself where it would be more efficient to rechannel the energy of your anger. A workout? A good journaling session? Some energetic housecleaning? The choice on how to use it in a positive way is yours.

Also, you don't have to give so much power over you to others. No one can make you angry. It's a choice...often an automatic one, but whe you keep that in mind, you can change your reaction. You can change the people at work, and you probably need the job, so consciously choose not to let the affect you emotionally. It's bad enough you have to deal with their antics. They don't need the power to bring you down in other areas of life.

misseseaj2010

Thank you for all the responses, I got a lot of good ideas and just talking about it made me feel better! You mfp people rock!