Not an emotion I ever expected

Alidecker · April 2013

I joined a gym and started working with a personal trainer in September 2009. He has helped me lose 120+ pounds. I remember my first day with him and how nervous I was to meet him. Today, he asked me to go for a walk with him....he is moving away. I understand his decision, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only has he been my personal trainer that helped my reclaim my life, he is truly a friend. We hang out outside of the gym, I feel like I can tell him anything and he gets me. I can't imagine going to anyone else for my training, but I guess I have to figure this out. I think I am even more sad to have a friend moving away. I never would have though this would hit me so hard, he is more to me than he probably knows....as a friend and a trainer.

SteelySunshine · April 2013

That makes me sad just reading about it. I am at the beginning of losing weight again. If someone helped me lose 100 + pounds they would be my best friend too. Not just because of how they helped me, but that is a whole lot of bonding time. And of course if you don't like your personal trainer you have the option of finding another one. So, my take would be of course you are going to like your personal trainer otherwise the relationship doesn't work.

I wish I had a good suggestion of what you could do. All I can say is it will hurt for a while and that is normal. Maybe you can find someone to be your work out buddy in the meantime, not a personal trainer. At this point you probably know enough about what works for your health goals anyway, but it's always good to have company for running and other sports.

SenseiCole · April 2013

I remember when my karate sensei/teacher was going to leave and would no longer be teaching me karate, like you I was gutted, how would I go on etc etc

he asked me "did you start karate because of me" my anwser was "no I didn't know him before I start"
he said you will find another sensei and yes your relationship with him/her will be diff, but you will still be doing karate

you started the gym for your own reasons, not because of your personal trainer

try and look on this in a diff way

not only have you gain a friend it means you will gain another new friend

I understand howyou feel:))))

hayleymc3 · April 2013

It's always difficult when you feel like you're losing a person who changed your life in some way. I'm sure he will keep in touch with you, though. Instead of feeling sad about losing him, be thankful that you were blessed with his help and friendship. He gave you the tools necessary to keep control of your life, and that is something to celebrate, even though he may be physically distant from you from here on out.

lambchoplewis · April 2013

I know you are happy for your trainer to get a new opportunity. This is like a divorce. You are now moving on to the next phase in your life also. Maintaining your loss and exercise will not be easy but remember, this is a lifetime thing - not just a year or two with a trainer. You will need to move on to this next phase and learn new techniques to do this yourself as that will be what is needed to keep the weight off forever. You can do this. You will need to dig deep inside yourself but look at this as another challenge you can overcome!!!

kitza101 · April 2013

I've had this kind of loss before too, when a professional who has helped you has become such an important figure in your life, and also become a friend. It is really sad to say goodbye to them, but it doesn't mean you have to lose that person forever. There are ways to keep in touch, if you both want to. And sometimes the change, while sad and hard, can bring positive things as well, such as another trainer who may be able to teach you new things in the next phase of your life.

If you wanted, you could always write this person a goodbye letter, or a goodbye card, where you can express the gratitude and respect you have from them. It can be a helpful way to move forward to the next step, whatever that may be, while knowing that you have passed on your thanks to the person who helped you so much.

Good luck, and take care of yourself.

PaigeAnderson100 · April 2013

Well, this post gave me sad feelings as well.

I would also have strong friendship feelings towards a personal trainer who has helped me lose any amount of weight, someone who was there for me through everything, someone who had faith in me through all of the workouts, someone who has watched me and followed my weight loss...
I know exactly what you're saying and I am sorry that he is moving away. It must be for a good reason though so, think of that.

Did you ask him if you would be able to write to him? You could write him a very nice letter to tell him what he has done for you and what his purpose was in your life. I am sure it would melt his heart. You could also ask him for his new address and write back and forth to continue the friendship. It would be important for you to let him know that you want to stay in touch.

Again, I am sorry.

Congratulations on the large amount of weight loss!

Ejwelton · April 2013

It's understandable that you are hit hard - this person has become a crutch for you and was part of and symbolizes everything you have achieved.
But the key is really he has supported YOU to achieve your goals for yourself. You were the one that put in the hard work and effort.

Maybe you can ask him to recommend a new trainer for you to continue your journey with? If it's someone he knows he can share with them your history and pick someone who he knows will suit your way of working out.

I am still in touch with previous PT's i have trained with and I know they are always happy to know I am still working hard and getting results. There's no reason you couldn't keep him posted occasionally on your progress

Not an emotion I ever expected

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